28 | numb

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"He's waiting for you inside the room, Ms. Spencer." A woman quickly leads me further into the therapist's office.

While I'm walking through the corridor, I can feel all the employees' eyes on me. Since I've told the receptionist that I came here as arranged by Ashton, they act like I'm an important guest.

Is this the power of Aiden's family? If I'm not mistaken, Ashton is Lucas Klein's right-hand man.

I was doubting that I could enter this place, but Ashton has settled everything for me. He's the one who arranged Aiden's therapy session in the first place.

When I enter the room, I see a middle-aged man in a white coat sitting behind the desk. He's Aiden's therapist, Mr. Bennet.

As soon as he sees me, he stands up. "Ms. Spencer," he greets me with a smile. "Please, sit down."

I do as he told and look around. The office is not that bright, but the atmosphere is quite comfortable with earth-toned colors.

"I didn't expect that Ashton would contact me again," he starts. "The moment he told me that you're going to come here, I knew that I had to welcome you." A warm smile spreads across his lips.

I don't know what to say. Being here feels weird to me. I've never been in a therapy session, and now it's not even mine. I don't know why Ashton felt that it was right for me to come here.

Mr. Bennet flips through the documents on his lap. He then looks up at me, adjusting his glasses. "Ashton just included you in the family list."

My mouth drops open. I can't even find the right words to correct that statement.

But I'm not--

Mr. Bennett smiles knowingly, sighs, and puts the documents back on his desk. His sentence, however, makes this even more surreal.

If Aiden's family -- his father, mother, and Luna -- can't even help him despite knowing the details of his condition, I don't know how I can do that.

"It's very surprising but also very delighting that you came here to my office today, Ms. Spencer. There are some things that I can share with you."

"Before we begin," I say reluctantly, and Mr. Bennet raises his eyebrows. "The things that you're going to share with me... I suppose that the others already know about that?"

Mr. Bennett nods. "As you know, there's no secret in the Klein family. No one in the family should hide their pain without the others knowing, and everyone, including Aiden, agreed. They've already had enough trauma with that."

I remember what happened with them because of Luna hiding her pain, and I've heard that what their parents went through at the beginning of their marriage was even more tragic.

Yet, I doubt that Aiden knows about Ashton putting my name on the list. I feel guilty, but not as much as the guilt I'm feeling every time I remember his wedding disaster. I feel like I have to do something to fix everything.

Silence falls for a while. Mr. Bennett hasn't spoken anything again, but my heart already feels heavy.

"About Aiden..." I begin, surprised that my voice sounds like a pleading whisper. I can't hide my worry and sadness.

Mr. Bennett stares at me. "I know that what I'm going to tell you will be hard to take in. I'm sure that you already know about what happened to Aiden in the past and how it destroyed him."

I nod. My hands start to become sweaty as I hold them on my lap. I swallow, expecting him to elaborate more.

"Ms. Spencer." Mr. Bennett sighs. "The truth is that..."

His eyes are studying my expression, as though he will take note of how I would feel and react.


I open the door of my bedroom and walk inside. My legs feel so heavy that I have to drag them to keep moving.

After throwing my shoulder bag onto my bed, I wipe the tear falling on my cheek. It makes me realize that I haven't stopped crying since I left Mr. Bennet's office.

Mr. Bennet's words ring back in my ears, and I find it hard to breathe.

"Aiden's unconscious mind has blocked him against some feelings. He can't feel them. He rejects those feelings that he needs to feel to love a woman again. Not as his mother or sister, but romantically."

I step into the bathroom, feeling like I need to take a long hot shower to calm down. I sniff, remembering that I asked Mr. Bennett about those feelings.

"Eight feelings. He can't feel those anymore because of the damage of his traumatic past."

I stare into the mirror and peel off my clothes slowly. Tears are rolling down my face.

Aiden loves his bride too much that losing her has made him not want to love anymore. His love is so deep.

How could someone throw away such love given by such an amazing man?

I enter the shower room and turn on the warm water. It pours down on me, trying to soothe me from this heartbreak.

Why am I crying so much for him?

Why does my throat hurt so badly?

Again, Mr. Bennett's words echo in my mind, reminding me that one man will never be the same. I remember him telling me the first three feelings that Aiden will never be able to feel anymore.

"Do you know the first feeling you experience when you start liking someone? It's simple, like those times when you see your teenage crush. Your heart would race when they enter the room. That, Aiden can't feel."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Aiden's heart has been frozen. Another tear falls onto my cheek, washed away by the water pouring down on my face.

"It all comes back to the first time he had that kind of feeling and knew nothing about what to do about it. He would feel nervous when that person came into sight. It's the moment when he would feel a lack of control. Now, he can't feel that either, because his subconscious mind prevents him from losing control."

I throw my head back, letting the warm water wash my hair. The third feeling Mr. Bennet told me makes my heart clench in pain. My hands are shaking as I cover my face with them. I let my sobs break.

"He can't be physically affected by women because of the betrayal he witnessed. Ashton told you about the sex tape. It was true. Now, the thought of being physically intimate with a woman would only make him feel sick, so very sick. He would vomit when it became unbearable. Each time." 

I've never thought that the nightmare he always had would be this cruel. I feel like falling into an endless pit.

A man has been destroyed. Aiden, of all people, has to go through this misery.

What should I do?

What should I do to let go of all of this pain?

***

AN:
Please continue reading. It's a double update :)



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