25 | frozen heart

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I eat my dinner slowly while my insides still feel horrible after what happened in Aiden's painting room. I wonder how I can still swallow the food even though my throat hurts so bad.

My gaze lands on the empty seat in front of me, and the sight makes me look down in shame.

A dinner that's supposed to be wonderful is now ruined because I made a mistake. In the end, he doesn't come here as he's supposed to.

I don't even know whether he still wants to see me or not.

He hates me. He hates me for breaking that pot.

I shouldn't have been inside that art room in the first place.

If he's so angry that I ruined a gift from his ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, I can't imagine what he would feel if he knew that I was the one who caused her to leave with Roman two years ago. Technically, I did.

It's still very clear in my mind how Olivia rejected Roman that day. Based on what she said to Roman, she indeed regretted cheating on Aiden.

Maybe she indeed wanted to be better for Aiden, and I destroyed her second chance.

Maybe she would never betray him again and she would make him happy for the rest of their lives.

What would Aiden feel if he knew? That I'm the one who made her leave.

I let out a shaky breath. The dining utensils drop from my trembling hands, clattering on the plate. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.

It just hurts so much. Thinking about him. Her. Them. Me.

It hurts to think that I'm the villain in his eyes.


I wake up with a heavy heart. My eyes focus on the bedroom ceiling as the morning sun casts its ray through the window.

A sigh leaves my lips when I slowly sit up. I feel like I need a good cup of tea to start my day although I don't think that it would be good enough to brighten my gloomy mood.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I walk out of the room and head to the kitchen. When I step into the place, I find Ashton sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter, slurping his coffee.

My pulse quickens. I can't help but wonder about how things have gone between him and Aiden. Did Aiden lash out at him for not telling me about the forbidden room?

Ashton notices me walking in. "Ah. I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you about the room," he says so casually and nonchalantly, like it's not that big deal.

I'm at a loss for words. Here I am, worried that he might have gotten fired.

"Did you talk with Aiden?" I ask cautiously.

"Yes, I did." He slurps his coffee again before putting the cup back on the counter.

"Isn't he..." I falter, "angry?"

Ashton nods. "Yes. Yes, he's angry at me."

I squint at him, but there's no regret on his face. After a few seconds pass, I ask again, "Is..." I pause, "Is everything okay?"

He seems to understand my question, but then he just gives me a little smile. Amusement crosses his expression. "Don't worry. I'm not fired. I don't work for him."

That information makes my eyebrow rise in question.

"Getting yelled at by him was definitely a consequence, but that's it." My brows furrow in confusion, and he adds, " I work for his father, Luke."

I didn't expect that answer.

Ashton seems to notice my cluelessness, so he explains, "I used to assist Luke before he assigned me to help Aiden with the company. Since I'd already been familiar with how things worked in Klein Enterprise, Aiden didn't have to train another person. I've been with his family for a long time, and I've known Aiden since he was very young."

I see. That's why they seem close to each other, like family.

"About the painting room," I start. The curiosity inside me builds up. "Why is it forbidden?"

Ashton slurps his coffee again and lets out a long sigh. He then stares at me with a serious expression, as though whatever he will tell me is a lot to take in. "That room used to be his comfort place, a place for him to express his feelings and pour all of them into arts. He created a lot of masterpieces there, but they are not just paintings for him. They reflect his feelings. Memories he treasures."

I nod, understanding what Ashton means.

"Well, it's a good thing, isn't it?" I echo.

To my surprise, Ashton shakes his head sadly. "He doesn't paint anymore."

My heart sinks. I refuse to believe what I just heard. "What?" I whisper in disbelief.

"He doesn't," Ashton says. "At all."

More questions pop up in my head. Why would Aiden stop painting while it's clear that it's a part of him?

"But why?"

"Because painting makes him feel. Since the day his bride, Olivia, left him in the altar two years ago, he's never touched his canvas again."

It feels like sudden pain slices my insides. The horrible feeling I felt when I witnessed the disaster two years ago strikes me again.

"Now, he rarely goes to his art room, and even if he goes there, he does nothing but stares at the pot you broke yesterday," Ashton says.

I can't form any words to say. I just listen to Ashton's words, feeling my heart breaking.

"That pot reminds him of what betrayed him," Ashton says. "What he thought was her love was a lie. The pot reminds him how painful it was to give his trust and invest his feelings for someone. It reminds him of how much his feelings destroyed him."

I shake my head in denial. "If he hates that pot so much, why would he keep it?" My voice is shaking.

"It was placed there to serve a purpose," Ashton says. "And it worked. Every time he felt like swiping his brush over the canvas, the sight of Olivia's pot would stop him."

Tears start to blur my vision as I realize all over again the damage of his painful past.

"Because he doesn't want to feel," Ashton finishes his sentence.

I swallow a lump in my throat. How can someone live without feeling?

"After the incident two years ago, Aiden moved here from New York to live alone," Ashton says. "He decided to handle the branch office."

I listen intently. I want to know what happened to Aiden during these past two years because I've never stopped wondering about it.

"When Aiden built this penthouse, he didn't include the painting room in his plan." Ashton sighs. "But then Luke stepped in and made sure that we secure one room, and that's the painting room."

His father must have known how much painting meant to Aiden. I can see that Luke doesn't want to lose hope. I can see that Aiden's family cares about him so much.

"All the paintings in the room are sent by his family," Ashton continues. "They wish that Aiden would remember his love for painting. They know that it's a part of him."

But he doesn't want to feel.

Aiden blocks everything that can make him feel. He has built walls so high around him, walls that he doesn't want to get through.

"The latest painting that arrived was sent by Luna," Ashton says. "It was his painting of their home in New York. She wishes that it would make him remember the good memories so that he would come home, because she misses her brother."

I can't imagine how crushed his family was after knowing how much Aiden wanted to close himself off.

"He doesn't like anyone prying into that room and changing whatever it is that he has promised himself." The sadness in Ashton's eyes is very visible. "But then, I spotted him still coming into his art room a few times. He would look at his paintings, recalling the good old memories he carved with the people he loves. I wish that one day he would just...let go, just be who he really is, feel whatever he feels."

Now that Ashton has told me the story, I'm trying so hard to hold my tears from falling.

The pot I broke yesterday was so significant. It was to remind Aiden to not paint again every time he entered that room. It was to remind him that he shouldn't get in touch with his feelings.

It's no wonder that he was so angry when he found out what I'd done.

But strangely, deep down inside, I'm glad that the pot is gone.

Because based on what Ashton told me, I feel like Aiden needs to break his promise.

Because I feel like he wants to paint again.


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