What do I do?

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Once Linda was gone I returned my focus to (Y/n). Who had since left the room. I ventured my way to her door and reached for the hand.

'Knocking. She probably won't like it of I barge in'

I knocked on the door and heard her gasp.

"May I come in?" I called.

"It's y-your house" I heard through the door.

I opened the door to see her huddled by the door again.

"I-I'm sorry"

"For what, love?" I asked as I stood in the doorway looking down

"I left. I'm sorry" She was looking away.

"It's alright. I couldn't have expected you to just stand there" I justified.

"Why not?" she whispered out while turning to me.

"Because it would've been awfully rude of me" I said bewildered.

She looked confused for a second before turning away and murmuring a 'sorry'.

"I promise. It's quite alright" I said before curiosity got the best of me.

"Why do you insist on being on the floor?" I asked.

She curled up tighter and let out a shaky breath.

'Too harsh' I thought before correcting myself.

"It's alright if you want to but you are allowed on the bed and the window seat," I said gently.

"Th-thank you" She spoke but didn't turn to me.

There was silence for a moment before an idea popped into my head.

"Would you like to go to the library?" I asked.

*Your P.O.V.*

You thought for a moment. 'What's a library? I know I've heard about it somewhere'

When you remembered you almost jumped to say yes. But yet again- you restrained. You weren't 5. You were 14 and you weren't allowed to go out. This could be a trick question. He could want you to say yes just so he could beat you.

'Or..... he could actually care?' 'no. not again' You shook your head and muttered a gentle 'no'.

"Are you sure? I could buy you a few if you don't want to borrow them?" He asked.

"N-no th-that's- it's- okay" she stammered.

You had been on the verge of panic since you got here and it was finally settling in. You tried to stop it but you had simply delayed it. You silently begged for it to stop.

'Not here' 'not in front of him' 'not now' 'please' 'I can't'

But your prayers were unanswered. The unpredictability of everything had finally taken its toll. You were in a new place. With new people. Basically starting anew. Your breathing began to pick up and your tremors began to turn into earthquakes. You couldn't breath. Why couldn't you just BREATHE?

'I want to go home' 'It hurts' 'I just want to go home' 'please I-' 'I just want it back'

You were vaguely aware of mumbling to your left but when shadows shifted you launched yourself back towards the other wall. And suddenly you weren't there anymore. You were in the lab. Then the kitchen. Then the basement.

"I'm sorry! I'm Sorry. Please. I- I'm sorry" You whimpered out.

You choked out pleas like water in your lungs. You hadn't realized that Lucifer had left. You hadn't realized that he was on the phone. You hadn't realized that he had called Linda after he reached out to you and you flung yourself away. Because you weren't there. Your lungs felt like they were filled with water and your chest felt like it was weighed with concrete. You could feel the lines on your back reopening like the day it happened. You could feel all the moments before and all the ones after at the same time.

*Memories are below but they're choppy*

His hands on you.

The whip to your back.

His body on top of yours.

The ringing in your ears.

Your arms tied above your head.

The screaming.

The bat.

The murmurs.

*

You hadn't realized when but there was a constant melody through your memories. Like a washing machine or drier. You listened closer. It was a voice. A deep accented voice. And your body stilled. You were still in the basement. Bleeding. But you were alone. And the only sound you heard was the gentle mumbles of...... voices upstairs? Your breath hitched stopping to focus before trying to breath in all of the oxygen in the room at once. But they weren't from upstairs. They were louder- but....... quieter somehow. And the room........ wasn't as grey as it should've been.

Had you messed up the finish? Would she come back? Would she bring them back?

But the constant mumble stayed through all of it. Slowly, the room brightened. The grey walls turning into a gentle beige.

The concrete floor turned softer like carpet.

It was carpet.

And the mumble started to sound more like syllables. Like words.

You could make out words like that, love, and breathe. Some other jumbled sounds. Kind of staticky.

The words had changed.

When had the words changed?

Someone wanted you to look at something. But what.

'Me'

You turned to where you were hearing the voice jolting back when you saw a crouched figure.

But it moved back too.

"Lucifer" your mind corrected.

You weren't sure if you had said it aloud. You could've. But the words changed again and they were clearer this time.

"Th-t...right....you can......alright.....breathe"

"Bre-.....with me okay......"

"You know......wh-..you are?.."

You got the sense that you had been asked where you were. You shook your head. Or tried to at least.

"Come on.......you.....do it. You're here with..."

"...know.....color.... walls are?"

'What?'

"What color are the walls?"

You shook your head. You couldn't see. They were grey and green and orange and every color all at once. You shut your eyes.

"No no, don't do that."

"Up..eyes......for me"

"Walls are....."

"And....are ceiling lights. They've......too bright to me....why....this isn't my room"

"....Bookshelf...... Large brown wooden bookshelf. It's in the wall and I don't read so I took the other room. That and this room was too hidden for some of my....dates."

You weren't sure if you were hearing right yet. Or if he was pausing. You opened your eyes and slowly glanced up.

Lucifer. He was sitting across from you with his phone on the floor. He gave you a sad smile when you looked at him.

His lips began to move but you weren't paying attention.

When he saw this he repeated himself.

"Hello, how are you doing?"

It was gentle. Sweet in every sense of the word. Kind. He held his hand out low, inviting you to grab it. You took in a shaky breath and it was like all of the air had finally reached your lungs. You repeated the action, relishing in the feeling of finally breathing and feeling the ache settle in.

You felt the ache in your chest from your lungs and the ringing in your ears. Then the stiffness of your spine and arms.

You adjusted your position so you were seated crisscross applesauce instead of lent back on your hands.

"Does that happen often?" "i'm sorry" you both spat at the same time.

"There's no need to be sorry. It's okay I promise. "

"I-" you stilled.

People always made good on their promises.

You yawned and leaned forward.

You were officially too tired to think straight. (you were thinking gay)

A/N 

YAAAYY!! an update. You guys get 4 pages today. For two reasons. 1.) because I got WAY to into this chapter and 2.) because a chapter cut off mid panic attac is weird. I just eally wanted to capture how serious and scary panic attacks can be. Its important to realize that they're not alway this bad or anything like this. They come in all shapes and sizes. I also apologize for any grammar mistakes Grammarly isn't working for me rn. Btw the next chapter will be what Lucifer saw/heard during this as well as the rest of the aftermath.

On that note I hope you guys are having a wonderful day/evening/night and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm around (not that I think I'll be much help). It's just good to know that there are other people out there who understand and care.

I made a few corrections on 8/16/2020

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net