Warnings:
-Mentions addiction (sexual, substances)

Sapnap's POV

I suddenly understood George's anxiety more than anything when I was standing in front of the school. My knees were shaking so badly that I had to hold myself to keep standing, my stomach filled with a nauseated feeling.

I swallowed in the hope my dry mouth would become less dry and was about to step inside, way too late for the first class anyway, but then. 'Sapnap, wait!'

I abruptly turned around when I heard Clay's voice and saw him run towards me, his face filled with a smile. 'Clay?'

He ran into my arms and held me tightly as he gave me a kiss on my cheek. 'I'm so glad to see you again... My foster family thought you would be so awfully sick today!'

'Sick? I'm sick from nerves, yeah,' I replied, seeing Clay shake his head.

'No, you're way too sick to go to school!' Clay exclaimed. 'You have to come to my foster house to rest, don't you think?'

'Oh, yes...' I answered with a smile, coughing loudly in an exaggerated way. 'I'm so sick...'

'Yeah, I thought so. Mom, Sapnap is so sick, look he's coughing!'

I laughed softly and coughed again, wiping my forehead to recreate me sweating. 'I think I have a bad fever. I really have to stay inside all day today.'

'Of course, sweetheart,' Clay's foster mother replied. 'Come with us, we have a lot of space.'

I chuckled and rolled my eyes at Clay. 'I love you so much.'

'I love you way more, idiot,' he replied, his arm around my shoulder. 'How are you feeling?'

'I've been better, but I can better ask you how you're doing. Is your new house looking good? And your mom seems so sweet.'

Clay smiled shortly, but then grabbed my hand. 'I would prefer to not talk about this because you're having a difficult situation and it's rude if I start bragging about what's going on.'

I nodded slowly and shrugged. 'You can tell me about it if you want, I don't mind. Otherwise, do you want to talk about something else you like? Do you actually like Robbie?'

Clay shook his head and intertwined our fingers as we sat down because his mother suggested us to catch up for a while, even though we hadn't been separated for long.

'I don't like him romantically, but as a really good friend. It feels hopeless sometimes because I don't think I'll ever find love.'

'You will, I thought the same, but Jimmy likes me. Wait, is that rude to say because you liked him too?'

'It's not rude to say, I want to see you happy with him. I just wish I would ever experience a boy falling in love with me and not... girls. I just don't like girls and they all fall for me, but the guys hate me.'

'And the dating site? Would you want to use it more or rather not?'

'Rather not... There's a lot of creeps on that site who just want to trade nudes and other sexual videos. I think I would prefer to wait to meet someone in real life, but I just feel so lonely sometimes and end up having a lot of sex to cope with my traumas but also the fear to commit to someone.'

'Do you still go to Robbie to do that?'

Clay sighed softly and shook his head. 'We stopped with it, but I just crave it so much. I feel out of control when I can't have sex or drink...'

'Have you told them about it?' I asked, glancing at the car.

'I know they know something about it, but I haven't. I've just met them and prefer to wait for a while until I'm sure they won't just kick me out... Hopefully, this school will be better and maybe I'll get some kind friends this time.'

'When are you starting?' I questioned, my hand locked with his. 'I wish I could be there with you.'

'Tomorrow...' he replied quietly. 'They told me they are doing anything they can to move you to our house too. It might take a while, but it'll happen, I promise.'

'I trust you. I've been acting like an actual dickhead at home so I hope they'll be sick of me soon enough.'

'Likely,' Clay answered as he laughed softly. 'We can hang out all day, so what do you want to do? They are really kind so we can ask them whatever and see if they agree.'

'Do you want to go swimming together?' I questioned, a hopeful look in my eyes. 'Just in the lake or something. I don't have swimming trunks but I can go in my boxers and just chill with you for the rest of the day.'

'Yes, that sounds fun.' Clay nodded softly and lifted me up to go to his parents, a happy smile on his face. 'I had a question.'

'What's up?' his mother asked as she stepped out of the car to listen.

'Sapnap and I really wanted to go swimming in the lake nearby. Is that okay?'

'Of course! As long as you're both careful and Clay, don't use your shoulder too much, okay? I can go home to get you some towels and bring them later so I can bring you there already.'

'Sounds good,' I answered. 'Thank you.'

'You must be Sapnap,' she said as she stuck out her hand to introduce herself. 'I can see some clear differences between you, I wonder how your previous foster family couldn't separate you.'

'Really?' I asked with a shocked voice. 'No one has ever been able to separate us, but my foster parents also didn't even pay attention to us and never tried to separate us either.'

'Close your eyes and let us move places to see if you can still recognise us!' Clay exclaimed excitedly, his mother putting her hands in front of her eyes. Sapnap and I ran around for a little while and stood back at the same places.

'You can look,' I spoke up, seeing her open her eyes again.

'You're standing in the same place!' She laughed loudly and gently tapped Clay's cheek. 'Something is different about your cheeks.'

'Only people who genuinely care about us can separate us... Jimmy, Robbie and George are the only ones, and our biological mother could.'

'I care a lot about you,' she replied. 'And I can't wait for you to be part of our family as well. We are doing anything we can.'

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