Chapter Twenty One:   Real Love

You've been so lost in constructing scenarios for the evening ahead and the talk you had with Jungkook that you're surprised to see how far you've come. Already the cafe is in sight. There's nothing slick about it, no fancy fonts or white etching upon the glass. You could pick the whole thing up and send it back thirty years and it wouldn't look out of place. There aren't any tables with fancy umbrellas, just the uneven pavement baring the cracks of age. You can hear music from inside.

Now that you were back to your mind, Suddenly all your preparations flee your mind like scared children, your brain feels full of static like an old television set that's lost the signal. You stop. Part of you is screaming to turn around, but you know it will be rude, plus you needed this.

The hunger you had felt on the bus has been replaced by a rising feeling of unwellness in your stomach and below the clack of your heels your heart beat pounds it's own quickening rhythm, you didn't know if this was because you were nervous or guilty for leaving Jungkook without dinner, though you knew he was an adult and can manage but still....... 

You took a deep breath and entered the coffee shop, looking around you saw the man Soyeon showed you his picture so you walked slowly at him. 

He noticed you but didn't stood up probably didn't know you were his date until you stood next to the table. " Hey, Ravi sshi?" 

the man's eye widened and he stood up fast, his usual swagger fled faster than a gambler from a bookie. He swallowed. "Um, yeah. That's he. I mean me. I'm Ravi." You smiled. 

" Nice to meet you, I am Y/N." You bowed your head slightly.

He did the same. The man took his hands out of his pockets, suddenly unsure of where to put them. Shyness wasn't usually his gig, what the hell was going on here? he thought.

" I must say this Y/N sshi, You are really pretty." The man called Ravi said.

" Thank you." You smiled sweetly at him but didn't blush nor get nervous which was not you at all. 

Why? 

" Mmm so what are we having for dinner ?" The man said, his words suddenly made your smile fade, Jungkook's face popped in front of you. How he gets happy whenever you call him to eat and how he enjoy what you make, delicious or not.... he's always thankful and now you left him without food. 

You sighed.

" You okay? Y/N sshi? " Ravi suddenly asked when he noticed your sudden discomfort.

" Oh? .Ah yes I am good" you smiled "Let's have.....Mmmmm let's see.." You grabbed the menu.

-----------

" Oh? You're a psychologist? " You looked at him confused " Soyeon said you're a teacher?" 

The man laughed a little "Well Soyeon mix things sometimes "

You laughed back " true she does.." You took a sip from the soda next to you before looking at the man again." Mmmm since you're a psychologist, What did you grab from my personality for now?" 

Ravi placed down his fork then put both his elbows on the table. you watched as he cleared his throat before talking. "Well enough to know your mind is with some other man right now." he said with a smile on his face.

Your eyes went wide and you swallowed hard. "I...." 

He laughed "It's totally fine Y/N sshi, I understand..." He added "Seyeon kinda explained to me your situation, she probably set us up together because we've been in almost same incident."

" Oh! Your ex......."

" Yeah she was dating me and some other man in the same time." He said, though it was inappropriate you couldn't help but to laugh.

" Oh god I am so s-sorry i didn't m-mean to laugh but it's just ........" You apologized but laughed again when he did the same.

" I know, I laugh about it as well." He said " So....This man you're thinking about, it's not him, is it?" 

You bite your lips and looked down "Well, the reason I wanted to go on a date is to NOT think about him but now we're talking ABOUT him, How cool is that?" You laughed 

" Our mind work for us not the opposite, Once you had your mind on something the more you try to forget the more your mind remind you." The man said.

" So what do you suggest I do. Doctor? " You smiled

" Well, If it's love I can't help." Ravi gave you a sweet smile.

" I didn't say I love him." You faked a laugh "I was going to marry a different man, remember? There's no chance I can gave my feelings to another that fast."

" Why no chance? Didn't hear about Love at the first sight? " The man said and you swallowed, hard. " I advice you to let your heart work for you, don't assume something is impossible just because you think it is. I mean.... people move on don't they? a year from your last break up or 10 years or 2 days for me is the same...You never know when new feelings hit you."

You looked at him for few second before looking down smiling. " I never expected a person will say that in a blind date.."you joked 

the man laughed "Don't get me wrong Y/N sshi, I like you. I really do but there's one thing I can't do is to take someone else's girl." 

------

" Thank you for dinner Ravi sshi." You shake hands with him "It was nice meeting you." 

" I am glad I get to know you, really glad." He smiled "Hope we can be friends after this."

" Of course." You returned the same.

"So.... Let me drive you home then." He suggested and pointed to his car that was parked by the side.

" No it's okay, I want to walk and think a little." You said and he nodded understanding. 

---------

You sat in a bench next to the bus station and watched cars and people passing by.

Taking your phone out from your bag, you put on the headphones and opened the music radio station. lost in the random music they play you looked up, There wasn't a cloud in the star-speckled sky. Rows of towering skyscrapers stretched above you, their windows alight from within. A half-moon hovered at the fringes of the luminous cityscape, where the red blinking lights of distance radio towers twinkling in the night.

Suddenly, while you were busy looking around as if it was your first time a song played through your ears.......and the lyrics.....

"when I go to sleep

I couldn't stop dreaming about you

Your love has got me feeling kinda weak
I really can't see me without you
And now you're runnin' round in my head

Every now and then when I want you

I wish that I could tell you that I want you
If I could have the chance to talk wit cha

Then I would stop holding it in
And never have to go through this again

It's real love that you  don't know about"

[A/N: Stop everything and go listen to the song then continue reading, 'Real Love' by massari 😢] 

Your tears fell without you noticing it, you have never heard the song but everything the singer said.......You felt it. And the music ... It was making you cry even more than you took of the headphones immediately.

" What should I do?" You waved at your face trying to stop the tears.

Do I really love him? At this short period of time? 

Just how weak I can be?

You bite your lips remembering what Soyeon and Ravi told you, Think about it and know your feelings. 

Okay, You thought about it, You like him....maybe love him but what's next? 

He doesn't feel the same. you thought while remembering his reaction when you said 'I love you' when joking, you remember that Jungkook couldn't even say it joking. 

Tell him how you feel? 

Then it will be awkward for you to live with him and he'll probably feel uncomfortable and think you're using him. 

You sighed. 

".... Y/N?" 

You turned to see the person who just called your name.

Yuju.

Great. 

"What are you doing here in this hour?" She smiled at you in a way that never meant good things. "Something is telling me you had a fight with Jungkook, Am I right?." She walked and sat next to you in the bench.

" No, You're not right Yuju sshi." You looked straight, avoiding her gaze. the last thing you wanted is the girl to know you were crying. "We're doing great in fact." 

She rolled back her shoulders and observed as your eyes were drawn downward " Mmmm Really then why you look so down like your world has fallen apart?" 

" People feel down sometimes and it's not always about someone." You answered her with no emotions in your voice. 

Tossing her amber hair she glanced your way. "So it's true that you live with him now? I heard it somewhere but find it hard to believe.... How did you end up that way?"

You sighed starting to feel annoyed. "No offense but I don't see the point in answering you, What I and Jungkook do is none of  your business anymore, is it?" You snapped rolling your eyes to the other way.

Two can play this game, If she wants to be a Bitch.

I'll be too.

The girl laughed "Oh sweetheart, Did you really believe that we broke up for good?"

"That's what I heard." You immediately talked back not giving her the chance to think she can step on you.

Yuju stood up" Listen Y/N, I appreciate the help you gave us b----"

" I didn't help you." You interrupted her, stood up then looked at her eyes, coldly "I fixed the shit you did to him and if Jungkook is a smart man he wouldn't even think about talking to you ag-----" 

SLAP

Yuju couldn't control herself,  Her hand cracks across your face.

The slap was as loud as a clap and stung your face. It had been an open-handed smack and it had left a red welt behind. Just below your eye was a small cut where Yuju's ring had caught you. "Is it beyond you to give me an advice, because these insults lessen us both. If I did something wrong than at least I am not pathetic to have my fiance cheating on me."

H-How did she......

You wanted to cry as rage filled your belly. you felt your ears getting hot. You wanted to glare at her and spat out HOW DARE YOU? but you just staggered backwards, clutching your face, eyes watering. 

You hated yourself for not talking back but.........

The girl sneers at you then laughs only adding fuel to your wrath, she then glared at you with hatred in her cruel dull eyes. "You are an extremely stupid girl. Aren't you?"

" pathetic you say?" You finally found your voice " All I know is Happy, secure people have no need to put others down and yes I am stupid, stupid that I trusted a man who didn't deserve my trust but....you know what?....... I am not stupid enough to let down someone trust me which is exactly what you did." 

With that you took your bag and walked away not caring anymore. 

-------

We walked until your feet couldn't hold you anymore, the new heel you were wearing now hurts and the cold weather didn't help. looking aroung you found yourself in Dongja street, good thing people were still walking around.

You stood in the bus station and looked around, your eyes were still red from crying and you barely could stop the tears, You didn't know what exactly was hurting you, your tired body or your heart, Yuju's words or the fact that she knew about Mark. 

The only person who knew Yuju and knows about Mark was Jungkook.

Did he tell her? 

You remembered he said 'It's not my story to tell'

Did he lie? 

is he still seeing her? 

Your eyes drip with tears again. Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops fall from your chin. "Stop..." You waved at yourself and looked around for a bus or a taxi but none passed by.

-----

With your thoughts, you didn't know what time was it you totally lost track until your phone rang inside your bag.

Jungkook.

He is calling.

You took a deep breath then answered.

" You didn't get bored yet?" Your heart raced when you heard his playful voice.

You swallowed then said " Jungkook, C-can you come and pick me up?" 

You noticed the man taking few seconds of silence before asking " Are you okay?" you could clearly hear the concern in his voice.

Shit, He noticed ? 

" Y..yeah, I just don't want to come alone." You said, again....tears slowly streaming down your face, you hate when someone ask if you were okay, it makes you cry more which what you don't want now. 

" Y/N ah....Are you crying?" Jungkook asked as he could hear your sniff from the other end. " Did he....." 

" No No I am fine I swear.. I just..." You tried your best to sound as if you weren't crying because you'll have to give him a logical explanation of why you were, later, and you can't. 

You realized now that you can't.

At least not now. 

" Where are you? " His voice sounded calm in a weird way as you could already hear the sound of the elevator.

" Dongja station." You bite your lips. saying calmly.

" Stay there." 

He ended the call and you just took a deep breath trying to stop your tears. " Please stop....." 

-----

After about 20 min later, you saw Jungkook's car stopped next to you. The man got out of the car and walked toward you right away.

" Y/N ah, Are you okay? " he asked panic rising in his voice as he placed his both hands on your shoulder, looking at you to check if you were hurt.

You lifted your head to face him faking a smile . "I am alright." 

" Then why are you cr--- " Jungkook's eyes widened as he finally noticed the small cut under you eye, His gentle hand touched your cheek then you noticed how his eyes turned dark. " Who did this?"  

You totally forgot the cut Yuju caused. 

" No one I am okay." You pulled your body back from him and looked away cursing yourself.

" Y/N DON'T TEST MY PATIENCE, WHO THE HELL DID THIS? " Jungkook shouted taking you by surprise, you didn't know he'll react like that. his arms mimicked his expressions as they flung everywhere, his face growing with anger as he continued " Where is he? Y/N TELL ME WHERE THE HELL THE BASTARD WHO DID THIS IS?" 

" I TOLD YOU I AM OKAY." Your voice cracked as you run toward the passenger seat of his car and get in closing the door. 

Jungkook didn't waste a second before following you inside his car. after closing the door, the sounds of the city were nowhere to be heard as silence killed the place. 

The man stared at you and noticed a couple of tears in your cheeks that made him take a deep breath and lay his head to the back of the seat. " You aren't telling me what happened ?" 

"........." You didn't answer 

" Why did you call me if you'll refuse to talk? " The man's anger raised and so was his voice volume. "You knew I will ask what happened if you showed up crying and hu---" 

" Did you tell Yuju about Mark?" You retorted, Your voice starting to sound more tense. 

" W-What?" The man looked at you confused.

" Answer me Jungkook, Did you tell her or not?" This time you were the one raising your voice.

" No Y/N, Why would I tell her?" Jungkook said " I haven't met the girl since the last time, B..but what does that has to do with he-------"

" EVERYTHING HAD TO DO WITH HER." Your voice was cracking as you were starting to cry. "My mind is a m-mess and I don't .......k..know what I am doing.....The last thing I want is to deal with your ex girlfriend.... I ....." Jungkook's eyes softened as he watched you looking down, still the tears continued to fall.

" Yuju did this?" The man looked at your cheek but you just sighed. " Why would she........."

"Well..I ...m-might have said something....." You bite your lips cutely making the man who was just angry now chuckle.

"Mmm I have heard about wife vs ex girlfriend fighting but I never though it will be this intense" The man joked.

" I j..just......" You didn't laugh at his words and just down sighing. "I sometimes think I am doing wrong, I mean she's your fian.....maybe ex fiance and........ I have no right to get into your business, This.....Our marriage will end soon and maybe you two will........*sigh*...I don't know.." 

Jungkook didn't like what you said. 

But it's true.

'Our marriage will end soon'