Epilogue

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SIX YEARS LATER

Radhika's pov

It's been four months since my father died and there sat his will and the last letter he ever wrote to me in front of me. His death was kind of sudden. We knew he was sick and getting weaker each day but we didn't know it was that soon.

Even though we weren't close he was still the man I considered my father and dealing with his death wasn't easy. My mom was wreck, she couldn't handle the grief of losing the man he loved so dearly all these years.

It's been four months but it feels like yesterday, how I was called by the hospital to tell me my father couldn't make it, how my mother was a complete mess, how everything seemed so insignificant in that moment. I never thought what will happen if he ever died and now that he's actually dead I'm not sure how I feel.

I opened the will and started reading. My father's lawyer said he wanted me to have it. I've been avoiding it for months imagining there might be something I wouldn't be able to handle but I know I've to. As kept reading I was amused and annoyed, two emotions that don't go together. I was amused because except my mother's share he has left everything he owned for my children and their future. I was so annoyed that I can never thank him for this because I don't have that option anymore.

I finally opened the last letter my Dad wrote me. It's been a while since I read any of his letter. I guess I was just angry and didn't want to know what he wrote every time when I received the letter. But this was his last one and I owe it myself to know what he wanted to say.

Dear Radhika.

Every time I start to write a letter to you I think about all the different ways I could apologize and trust me there are none left. For the first time in years I can feel the time. I can the time slipping away from me and I believe I should say everything I could in the limited time I've left.

I'm not afraid to die, I've had a great life with your mother. I love her so much and I cherish every second of it. I know you're aware of that kind of love, Rishabh loves you that way maybe in ways better than I know. I don't have any regrets except the way I treated you all these years. I wish I could go back in time and undo all of it and create new memories for you and me but I can't.

I'm sorry for giving you such bitter memory of a father. You deserve so much better than I ever was. You tried everything you could to show me how amazing daughter you were and I was so blinded by my pride to see past that. I see how you're raising your daughter and I've never been more proud. She's just like you kind, giving, forgiving, honest, everything you're. I told her how I wasn't the best father to you and she said that 'Mama loves you. She'll never be mad at you'. She's so small and innocent to understand the depth of hurt I've caused you. I'm sorry for all of that but I know it is never going to be enough.

I don't deserve your forgiveness but when I die please hold onto the good memories we once shared. Remember the times we were actually a family. I always wanted a family of my own and even though I already had one I never appreciated it enough. My resentment towards you overtook all the love I had. You may find it hard to believe but you're my daughter and I love you dearly. All I want for you is happiness because I know how much you deserve it.

Also I'm leaving everything I've for your children. It isn't enough but it never is going be enough compared to everything I've done in the past. I want your children to have everything they want, everything they deserve. I want them to feel safe and loved, everything you didn't feel in your life. It breaks my heart that I might not see my grandchildren grow up but tell them that I love them. I think this is my punishment and it serves right.

I'm sorry for being a disappointment. I'm sorry that I could never be the father you deserved. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to tell you how much I love you. I can never make amends for what I've done through your whole life but in the final moments of life I just want you to know that despite everything I've done to make you hate me, I do love you and I'm proud of the person you've become even after all the damage I've caused.

There isn't anything in this world that I could give you that would compensate for all the horrible things that came out of my mouth but I'm leaving you this picture. I've carried this picture throughout my life. Even though I resented you I couldn't get rid of this picture. It gave me some kind of peace. I've had this picture for very long time and now I want you to have it. Something to remember me by.

At the end I've nothing else to say but I'm extremely sorry.

Love,
Dad.

I folded the letter and kept it aside. I brushed the stray tears and flipped the picture frame to see the picture. It was picture him with me at our last happy vacation as a family. We both looked so happy and content. It is the last happy memories I'd with my father before everything went downhill.

I heard noises from the living. I took the frame and made my way out. I saw my daughter playing with my husband. A sight I'm never tired of seeing. It warms my heart to see them so happy together. Looking at them I wished I had one last chance to tell Dad how much I loved him inspite of everything.

Ahima looked at me and came running towards me. I bend down and picked her up, keeping her close to me.

"I'm mad at Dad. Very angry" she frowned and looked at Rishabh furiously.

"I'm really sorry sweetheart" Rishabh said trying his best to hide his smile.

"What did your dad do this time?" I asked

"Took my ice cream while I was eating to tease me. I don't like it. Hate it"

"Hey. Hey. Don't say hate"

"Sorry Mama" she looked at the photo frame and it took it from my hand "Is it you?" She asked looking at picture. I looked at the picture again and nodded "You're so small and Grandpa looks so young" she said smiling from eye to eye.

I smiled at her and said "Yeah, it was when I was a baby like you and Grandpa took us on a vacation. It was a happy time"

"Do you miss Grandpa?"

I looked at her. She was still looking at the picture so dearly like she found some treasure "Yes sweetie, I miss him" I said softly and Rishabh looked at me giving me a small smile.

"I miss him too. Grandpa said you were mad at him. Are you still mad Mama?"

"No, he is my dad and I love him very much. You can't stay mad at people you love"

She ran to Rishabh and gave him a quick kiss "I'm not mad at you anymore Dad." Rishabh laughed and kissed her back "Can I keep this picture in my room? I like it. It reminds of Grandpa"

No matter how terrible father he was to me, he was an amazing grandfather to my daughter. In some ways he was trying to compensate all those years he lost with me. He loved her dearly and my daughter loved him too. Sometimes I used to envy Ahima for having the opportunity of making memories with my dad which I never had.

"Yes of course" Rishabh replied.

He put her down and she smiled. She tucked the frame beside her little arms and took her ice cream bowl to the kitchen.

Rishabh wrapped his arms around me and rested my head on his shoulder. It was my safest place. Even after all this years, he still loves me just the same way he did in the beginning. If anything I think he loves me even more now.

He looked at Ahima and said "Thank for that. It's more than I could ever ask for."

After keeping her bowl she ran towards her room. Midway the stairs she stopped and looked at us "I love you both"

"We love you too baby"

Even though my life had it's fair share of ups and downs there isn't anything I would like to change. I'm thankful to the day I met Rishabh because that's the day it all changed for me. I'm so grateful that we happened. Sometimes it's scary to think how my life would've been if he wasn't in it but then I look at him and I know I don't have to think about that anymore.

"You still love me, don't you?" Rishabh asked

"I don't know. I guess"

He laughed and that sounds was enough for me to thankful for the amazing life we've together. I'm really glad we found each other and it made it happen.






THE END

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