Chapter Thirty Five

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Radhika's POV

It is been exactly two days since I told Rishabh about my move and two days of him ignoring me or whatever he is upto. He hasn't called or return any of my call which is strange and starting to worry me a little bit.

I called Arjun to ask about him and all he said that he's working on something and is fine. I know he isn't responsible to answer me but as his friend I expected him to atleast tell me what he's upto before going AWOL.

Pakhi asked if I wanted to grab lunch and since I had nothing else to do but worry about Rishabh I thought lunch would be a nice distraction.

We were sitting in a cozy diner and Pakhi was showing me pictures of his son and narrating stories. I was happy for her but a part of me was jealous. I wanted a life like this for a really long time but now all of that just feels like a never fulfilling dream.

"Are you okay?" Pakhi asked

"Oh yes. Yeah"

"I know I'm not your best choice but you can always talk to me. I understand"

I sighed "I just envy you. I never really had a ideal family and somewhere deep down I wanted to have one someday but now all of that seems a fantasy. Something that might never happen for me. I'm happy for you trust me, I'm just sad for myself."

"Why do you think it won't happen? Your life isn't over. You're moving ahead and you're rediscovering your life again so why give up. You can always have what you want till you really want that"

"It might seem like I'm trying to rediscover but I'm not. I'm just running away. I'm too scared to face what will happen if I stay that I decided not to. I may seem strong and sorted but I'm a human with feelings and insecurities and fears and hopes."

"You're scared that you might get heartbroken again? Have you even considered telling him what you feel?"

"Yes and no. A part of me thought that knowing I'm moving alway, he might try to stop me and then I can tell him how I feel but he didn't and I couldn't. I'm so full of emotions that I don't know how to channel the right one. I'm just not ready to get my heart broken again by him. I like the idea of happily ever after but I'm terrified that my dream of happily ever after may never come true."

"Love is fragile and so is your heart but if you give it to the right person, it's worth the risk. I understand your scepticism but if you think Rishabh is the right person you have to the leap and trust your instincts."

I nodded at her and gave her a small smile.

The things Pakhi said made sense but still my fear of getting my heartbroken was much more stronger. I wanted to stay and have a life together with Rishabh but if he doesn't want me, there's nothing I could do about it.

My door opened and Rishabh entered.

"You should start locking your door. It isn't safe" he said walking towards me.

"Yeah. Where have you been?"

He looked all around the room, there were unpacked boxes and stuff lying around to be packed. He looked up and said "Some things I needed to take care of." I nodded "How's your packing going?"

"It's okay. Almost done"

He smiled a little and said "You're really leaving huh?"

"Yes. Why?" I looked at him with the hopeful eyes. I just want him to say what I want to hear all this time. Every bone in my body was anxious to hear what he was about to say.

He looked ahead of me and walked over one to one of the boxes. It was the box of my movie collection over the years. He picked up a classic and turned towards me "Have you watched it?"

I looked at it carefully and answered "Nope. I wanted to but I guess I never found time and then I forget I had it"

He opened the cover "Let's watch it then. Come"

And just like that he never answered my question. It's sad that Sometimes our heart hangs onto something that is better off letting go. The possibility of losing what we really don't have is scary yet our heart clings to it until all our hopes are crushed.

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