Chapter 36

Enduring this painful silence for the second time now makes me feel as if I'm in an insane asylum.

All I can hear is the white noise that surrounds me. Pipes creaking, the building settling, voices that pass by outside of the room I'm enclosed in. I struggle against my bonds in the six hundred thirteen seconds that I've been waiting for the Master Jotunn to appear. The plan that Casper intends makes my stomach churn. I don't know if I can follow completely through, but I will try my hardest to make sure both my father and I make it out of here alive. During this time, though, I've managed to slip my raw and bleeding wrists free of their bonds. I quickly undo my other restraints, careful to make it look like the restraints are still latched around my body. I would get out of here one way or another.

+++

At seven hundred thirty-three seconds, the doors slide open and my father along with three other Warriors file into the room. I want to see beneath his helmet before I go any further from here. I have to know what happened to my dad. I couldn't rest until I knew.

"Tell me you don't remember me." I croak hoarsely.

"Why the hell would I remember you?" He spits.

"Take off your helmet, please."

"Why would I do that?!" Kole demands.

"I would like to look you dead in the eye, if that's alright with you."

He mutters a plethora of curses but finally complies. His gloved hands unlatch his helmet and he throws it angrily across the room. Under the helmet sits the face of my father. Mangled and bruised and broken. I almost wish I kept my mouth shut so I didn't have to see and relive the pain and anguish he endured in his last moments.

From the looks of it, Dad fought back against his attackers. He has a gash across his face that is in desperate need of stitches, but being that he's technically dead, it doesn't really matter. The gash stretches from his right eyebrow, across his eye and nose, all the way to the lower left portion of his face. One eye is clearly blinded by the cut. Much like Ariel's eye, this one eye is blood red and foggy, the brown eye turned a milky white. His nose is popped out of socket and sits broken on his face. His normally kempt hair is shaggier than usual and sticks to the blood coating his forehead, not to mention chunks of it is missing, revealing a red and blistered scalp. A portion of his upper lip is absent from his face, and to top it all off, there's a gunshot wound in his left temple. The residue sticks firmly to his face as a reminder of how he truly died. My heart aches and shatters as I stare at the broken image of my father. I guess this is my closure, this is my goodbye to my dad. Nothing could've prepared me for this moment.

"Tell me you don't recognize me." I say again, tears streaming freely down my cheeks. I don't make an effort to hold them back at this point. I want everything to be done and over with.

"I don't recognize you, damnit!"

How bad this hurts, as if a dagger pierces my flesh time and time again. The tone he uses sets my blood afire and yet makes it run ice cold. I don't know how to feel.

"Tell me you don't recognize me." I hope, no I pray that he comes to his senses before it's too late. The ultimate step in proving that Dad is still somewhere in there is having him recognize his own daughter, his own flesh and blood.

"I don't recognize you!" He seethes. "Get that through your thick skull, girl!"

A sob escapes my lips. "Tell me you don't recognize me." The same six words come from me like a broken record. My dad is in there somewhere, I could feel it.

This time instead of responding to my hopeless pleas, his fingers curl into a fist and his hits me across the face. My face jerks and a yelp flees from my cracked lips. My diaphragm spasms in sobs as I try again and again, saying the same six words. I'd make him remember no matter how many punches he threw, he'd remember I'm his daughter by the end of this torment.

I roll my head back towards him and decide to be stupid. "Tell me you don't recognize me." I half scream, half sob at him.

He hits me again, this time in the nose. A waterfall of red spurts forth, tainting my lips and falling into my mouth. I howl in pain, careful to not move my freed restraints. I sputter as I taste the copper, metallic taste of blood and am forced to swallow the red, fowl substance. I cough, spitting out excess blood in the process. I look up at him with hurt evident in my heavy, teary blue eyes.

"You've been gone for months, leaving your wife and three children behind!" I shriek. "You died for what you believed in, what you believed is right, and damnit, Dad! You left us behind in our greatest time of need!"

The machine never once pulses the electrical current through my veins, so I know I'm telling the truth, but he's in denial. He hits me three more times before I muster up the strength to continue through the pain radiating throughout my face.

"Your name is Kole Garrett Zachary. You married Hannah Grace DeLue Zachary. Your wife became pregnant and gave birth to your first born, your daughter, Baylee Areaux Zachary! She gave birth to me!"

Everything comes to a screeching halt as the electrical current pulses its way through my veins. I begin to convulse violently from the shock, crying out in pain with teeth grit together. What the hell? I hadn't lied, had I? Why did the machine shock me when I said I was their daughter? What could that possibly mean? Tears brim in my eyes as I push the endless possibilities down and focus on what is most important in this moment—getting my father to remember who he is.

An aftershock pulses through my body but I continue on the path ahead. "When I was eleven, you and Mom gave birth to the twins, Evan Kole and Ema Madisyn Zachary!" The jolts finally stop and my vision is left swimming as he punches me again.

"You've been gone for months, I don't even know how many at this point. I just know that you never came back. We mourned you and you were gone from our lives as if you never existed!" I cry out as blood flows from my nose, from my mouth, from splits in my skin caused by my father pounding aimlessly into me. It hurts, it all hurts, but nothing hurts more than him not remembering his family.

"You were killed fighting for what you believed in, for everything you stood for. Your life was taken from you so that your family could live. You sacrificed yourself and you don't even remember a thing."

His fist connects with my eye, causing me to howl out in pain. I don't know how much longer I can withstand, feeling reality slipping away from me punch after punch.

"We loved you and you left us. We still love you, Dad. Come home." I beg. As the punches keep coming, I decide it's time to spring my trap.

I rip my arms up from the loosely fastened restraints, coming off of the table and lunging at the man I once called my father. My wrists are raw and bleeding from how tight the restraints had been, and my body feels stiff from laying down on the metal table for God knows how long. I silently thank the Lord for putting Dad in a state of shock due to my escape from my restraints so I can catch him off guard. I act quick, placing my palms firmly on the metal table and swinging my legs hard against the bend of his knee. He falls into a kneeling position and looks at me with fire in his eyes. I come off the table and throw a punch at his face but he deflects it with ease, dodging my blow.

With a deep growl, he grabs my ankles and yanks my feet out from under me. I come crashing to the ground, striking my head on the surgical table with a hiss. The stickers all rip off of my body as I fall, leaving red, irritated patches covering my skin. A long, drawn out beep follows the detachment of my monitor stickers, drowning out any background noise there might have been. My vision tunnels and I sit on the cold ground, stunned for three seconds with an aching skull. As quickly as I can regain my senses, I spring back into action before Kole can manage to gain the upper hand in the fight.

My father, Kole, has distanced himself, assuming the same defensive stance my body has taken too. Our hands are both clenched into fists, his lips are sealed tight while mine are curled back in a snarl, and are feet are standing slightly apart with the knees bent, waiting for each other to make a move. My hair falls into my eyes, a few stray strands sticking to the blood that coats my forehead. Blood continues to drip from my nose and onto the ground, making a small puttering sound as it hits the floor.

The other Warriors that entered the room when he did are nearing in but Kole holds up his hand. "No, she's mine to take care of." He warns them, a wicked smirk crossing his lips.

In that moment, the doors to the room spring open. There stands Casper in a Jotunn suit, lacking his helmet. The three Jotunn told to not interfere swing around to face the handsome young Nebraskan. Although I can't see the Warriors faces, I know their reactions are mixed with confusion and shock at how freely Casper Bunk entered the room.

"How many of you damn kids are there?" Kole shouts. "Kill him!" He orders, returning his attention to me.

Perhaps in this moment, most people would be worried if their father stuck some intimidating dudes on the guy that they fancied, but I'm not concerned. If anything, I'm concerned for the attacking Jotunn because Casper has more than proven that he can hold his own. Casper pulls out a knife and grins, thrusting it into the chest of the Warrior who reaches him first. The weapon glides into the suit as if the Nebraskan is cutting butter. I never found Casper more attractive than I do in that precise moment.

When I return my attention to my father, he begins the run towards me. I do the same, shouting a cry of determination as we collide into one another. I jump at the last second and bring my elbow crashing down into his blinded eye, but he doesn't even flinch as he tosses me aside like a ragdoll. My back smashes into the corner of the surgical table and I scream out in pain. The pain radiates from the lowest portion of my spine up into the base of my neck. Regardless the intense pain I feel, I have to get up and continue the fight. This is not how I will die, and I hope it's not how Kole dies, either.

On my feet once again, we continue the fight. My elbow from this point on will be the best defense mech-anism I can use. Dad isn't like the Warriors I fought single handedly back on the shuttle, he's stronger than those three Jotunn combined. And if I'm honest, it scares me. Somehow I channeled an inner strength I didn't know I had when I fought the three previous Warriors, now it's up to me to find that strength again.

I boost myself off of the ground full speed, surprisingly reaching his height with the jump. Without hesitation, I dig my elbow into his jaw. He stumbles for a second but rebounds quickly, sweeping low and grab-bing my ankle before I can even touch the ground. I cry out and dig the heel of my hand into his hip as I collide with the ground. On impact with the white, tile floor, my temple smacks the ground and my skin splits, blood pouring out. My vision is going dark around the edges and it takes everything I have within me to stay conscious.

I don't know why my body doesn't react like it did back on the shuttle. I had no choice but to fight the Jotunn then, and I have no choice but to fight my father now. Yet I can't seem to collect my bearings long enough to properly fight. Perhaps it's because he is my father and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. But this is survival, at this point. Family or not, I have to make the choice if it will be him or me walking out of the fight. I want it to be both of us, but I now know that won't happen. My father, Kole Garrett Zachary, is too far gone. I can't save him, and I don't feel like I can save myself either.

Kole grabs me by the hair and pulls me off the ground before slamming my bloodied skull back into the ground. I cry out in pain and my ears ring. The room is spinning and I don't know how much longer I can hold on for.

"Casper..." I moan, my blurred vision making out the shape of Casper fighting the last remaining Warrior standing in the way of getting to me.

I know he can't even hear my name as I could barely even whisper it to begin with, but I don't want to do this. I don't want to follow through with this plan. Thinking about it makes my stomach churn. Regardless, I roll onto my side and take in several deep breaths.

My father backs away from me with a smug smirk. As if that bastard thinks he actually won the fight then and there. God, is he wrong. I push myself onto my hands and knees. I can see the blood dripping from the gash in my temple, watching as it splashes on the ground with a soft splat. I can taste the blood swimming around in my mouth, the taste of copper making my sweat turn cold and my mouth water as my body threatens to hurl.

The room still spins horribly, but I manage to stagger to my feet and face my blonde-headed father. The part of his lips that still remain are curled back in a smirk, his brown eyes filled with fire and rage, hungry with the need to end me and my horrible existence.

"Back for more?" He chuckles darkly.

"Yes, father dearest, I most certainly am." I sneer, spitting out blood from my mouth and wiping my lips off with the back of my hand.

He grins wildly and begins the run towards me, screaming out his determination to end this. I close my eyes for a split second and think the same six words over and over again.

I don't want to do this.

I open my eyes and will myself to run towards him, hot tears tracking down my blood tainted cheeks. Right before we collide, the strength that found me during the fight on the shuttle restores itself in me once more and I feel alive. Frightened, but at the same time, I've never felt better. I jump as high as I can and boost myself on Kole's shoulders in midair, flipping my small body over his towering self. He skids to a stop and whirls around, brows raised. I wave in a cheeky manner before bolting back in his direction.

I try to suppress any previous memory I have with this man that once was my father. I try and forget his smile, his laugh, his voice. I try to forget his dad jokes, and his relentless love he had for his family, even in his last days with us. I try to forget his morning routine—wake up, get coffee, eat cereal, get ready for work, and kiss his children and his wife goodbye before leaving for the day. I try to forget his heart, so big and bold, so loving and strong. I try to forget the stoic man I once knew and loved. I try to forget Kole Zachary, but how can a girl ever forget her father?

With tears on my cheeks, I jump up once more, but instead of jumping over him, I hook my leg around his neck and bring us both barreling down to the ground. The strength and the force I have in this moment can only be described as inhuman. I don't know who I am or where it comes from, but I have no time to question myself for answers I do not know or have.

I keep my leg hooked firmly around his neck, resisting his struggling and flailing and holding firm to my grip. I hold him in that headlock, tears flowing down my cheeks.

"This is your last chance." I sob. "Tell me, Dad, please tell me you remember me."

"I will never be your father, and I'd never want to be." He hisses. "You are a disgrace, a mistake, someone that should never have been born and we were stupid to think your experiment would ever succeed!" His voice escalates to that of a yell. "You are a failure, Bryony!"

His words are like fire, burning every inch of me until I wish I'm dead. Slow and agonizing are his words, and I know now that this man isn't Kole Zachary, he's just another heartless Warrior that this messed up world has created. I close my eyes and try to make sense of his words. Who's we? I know now he is not referring to him and my mother. What experiment does he speak about? I want answers but I know there's no time to obtain the answers I seek. I want to know who Bryony is, and why he thinks I am her. I want to know so much, but I want nothing more than to have Dad back. And that's something that will never happen, so I have to let go. I have to say goodbye.

Tears rack my body, convulsing in gut-wrenching sobs. I can barely form words through the sobs but I manage to get out what is most important for him to know. "I love you, Daddy." I croak, tightening my grip around his neck.

Casper throws down the last remaining Warrior and looks at me in horror. But there's nothing either of us can do.

I want to live a legacy, and I don't mind dying for what I believe in. This trip started out as an excuse for me to leave my mother behind. I always planned on returning, but I took this trip searching for myself, but I found so much more. I want to save what little is left of Exitium. And I'd give my own life to see that happen, to save what I love. I prepared myself for that, but there isn't anything on this God-forsaken earth that could prepare me for something like this. I couldn't be prepared to see my previously deceased father, to have hopes of finding him alive, only to find him alive, but living in an empty shell. I couldn't prepare myself to have that hope restored, the hope of finding my father, only to find out he's not the same man. He's not my father at all, just the face of him. Yet I can't kill this man. I'm not prepared to find my father alive, just to kill him again. I can't do it, but it's what's right. It's what I have to do.

I crane my neck down and press my lips upon his greasy, tangled blonde mop of hair, taking a shaky breath.

"Bay..." Kole murmurs.

My heart fills with momentary joy as I fool myself to think that my father is returning to his normal self, even after the fight. "Dad?" I say.

"You will never be my daughter." He rasps out, his hands bracing themselves on my leg as I squeeze tighter and tighter with each passing second.

I hesitate for a brief moment, thinking of the first simulation I was placed in. The image of my mother trying to kill my father in the void of blackness. Then, the next thing I knew in that dream was my mother was on the ground, dying, and with her dying breath she told me that I had never been, nor will I ever be her daughter. My heart sinks as I realize surely this isn't a coincidence. What have my parents been hiding from me all eighteen years of my life? Again my brain goes back to what Kole said merely seconds ago, about me being an experiment? What experiment? Or him calling me Bryony. I'm a curious person by nature, and all I want is to know who and what I am, but I might never know. I close my eyes and tell myself that I am the Zachary's daughter, they would have told me if I wasn't.

I force myself to snap back to reality, back to the present. Kole continues to squirm in my hold, but I don't let up.

"I love you, truly I do, Dad." I whisper once more.

I don't give him a chance to respond as I clench my teeth and lock my jaw into place. In one swift movement, I jerk my leg upwards and feel and hear the snapping of his bones beneath my skin. I sob as the bones penetrate his skin and blood