41. Meeting in the Shadows

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And he was never seen again on the face of this earth. Miss Ellis' words haunted me the remainder of the evening and made it absolutely impossible for me to do my math homework. Well, okay, that might also have had something to do with my absolute inability to solve equations. But even if I had been a mathematical genius, I wouldn't have been able to get any work done that evening. I was suffering from an emotional crisis here!

And there was one other thing which probably didn't do much for my concentration, and which became increasingly evident as I lay in bed later that night, trying to stay awake until the time for my next date had arrived: I was suffering from sleep deprivation.

All these late night dates were getting to me. For a moment, I considered putting on a punk rock CD Jen had given me for last Christmas. Then I remembered that I didn't own any headphones, and that my parents would therefore probably notice the music, as would the entire neighborhood, and that insane ideas like this one only proved further that I hadn't gotten enough sleep the last few days. I tried to hold my eyes open with my fingers. That didn't work very well, either. Yet I supposed it could be worse. Other girls might get tired of seeing their boyfriend – I just got tired because of seeing my boyfriend. That was infinitely preferable.

With all my might, I tried to cling on to my consciousness. But I was just so sleepy... surely, five minutes... a little nap couldn't hurt. And even if I didn't wake up, would it matter that much? Surely he wouldn't worry that much...

Suddenly, an image shot through my muddled head: the situation reversed, I, waiting for Giacomo, and he didn't show up. The pain that image caused was indescribable. And he was never seen again on the face of this earth.

Oh God, what was I thinking? I couldn't risk standing him up, no matter how tired I was! I knew how devastated I'd feel if that happened to me. And even if he couldn't be half as crazy about me as I was about him, I was pretty sure that it would hurt him if I didn't show up. Never, ever in my whole life would I want to do that.

In the end, I started counting shepherds. I figured, if counting sheep helps you fall asleep, maybe counting shepherds helps you stay awake. All in all, it seemed to work. Maybe because each of the shepherds was tall and muscular, with long curly brown hair, a leather jacket and a devious smile that knocked the breath out of me, but those, I'm sure you will agree, were just negligible details.

At around midnight – I couldn't be totally sure, because the clock appeared to be kind of blurred, as did the rest of the room, as a matter of fact – I stumbled out of bed and towards the window. Somehow I managed to get it open and myself outside, and somehow I managed to be not upside down as I landed on the fire escape. I gripped the railing tightly as I made my way down towards the street, perfectly aware of the fact that I was not unlikely to stumble and break my neck in my current condition.

Yet as soon as I spotted the dark figure leaning against a lantern post in the distance, all my drowsiness disappeared. I was wide awake again, and there was no stopping me. Quickly, I sprinted down the last couple of steps, ran across the road and into his arms.

And he was never seen again on the face of this earth.

“I'm so glad to see you,” I whispered, only just able to prevent tears from coming to my eyes.

“See me?” Giacomo asked. “It's pitch black.”

“Well, then I'm just going to have to feel you. You know, just to make sure you're really there.”

I started to make sure.

“And you have to use your lips, do you?” There was laughter in his voice

“Well, it seemed the simplest way to me. But, now that you mention it, I could use my hands, too.” And I proceeded to check for the presence of pieces of him that I couldn't reach with my lips. Not yet, anyway.

“Angela!”

“What?”

“You shouldn't... I mean... it isn't proper...”

“What?” Innocently, I grinned up at him, while my hands explored more of him. They were under his jacket now, trying to slip under his shirt. Suddenly, they encountered a barrier. The cold, hard thing he was wearing. My brow furrowed in annoyance.

“Giacomo, what is that thing?”

Suddenly, his hands gripped my wrists.

“That's not important.”

“It is if I want to find out how to get it off.”

He bent down to me, frowning, his jaw set. Somehow, my words had upset him. No, it was more than that. Did I imagine it, or was there a glint of suspicion in his bright eyes?

“And why in the world would you want to do that?”

Blushing, but only slightly, I stood on my tiptoes to give him a peck on the nose.

“Try to guess.”

The suspicion on his face was first replaced by bewilderment, then by disapproval. “Angela... you can't mean that. You can't be serious.”

“I just want to take a peek. I promise,” I whispered, pressing myself closer to him. I could feel his breathing getting uneven. His hands let go of my wrists and slid up my arms, over my shoulder, down my spine. I thought I was gonna die!

Mia Angela.” It was no more than a rough whisper. But I heard it all right. I heard it.

“Giacomo.”

His hands slowly slid around me, to the front, to the hem of my shirt. My breathing was ragged by now. Then, suddenly, his hands stopped.

“Angela... I can't. I shouldn't.”

I looked up at him from under my lashes. In the shadows, his angelic face bore a tortured expression.

“Are you sure?” I asked innocently. Or at least it sounded innocent.

He put his arms around me and pressed me to him. “I can't take advantage of you like this,” he muttered, his face pressed into my hair. “It wouldn't be right.”

“Even if I want to be taken advantage of? Or is it taken of advantage? Where did you pick up that expression anyway? Sounds silly. Whichever it is, I certainly wouldn't mind.”

“It's still not right,” he growled. “You're too young! I shouldn't be doing this!”

Not this again! Suddenly serious, I took a step back, taking his face in both my hands. My eyes stared directly into his.

“I'm no child anymore, Giacomo.”

Please, please believe me. If you can't believe this, how can we be together? Is this why you've never told me how you feel about me? Is this, why you're holding back? Or is something different? Something darker? Please tell me.

My eyes besieged him. But this once, my tried and tested puppy-dog expression did not seem to work. He just looked down at me sadly.

“You're only fourteen. Young and innocent.”

I let my head sink down on his chest.

“Please, Giacomo. I just want to be with you.”

“I know.” He inclosed me in his arms again. “But we can't. Not that way, Angela, please. I'm feeling guilty enough for what I've done. For what I continue to do.”

“I don't understand what's there to feel guilty about!”

I could feel him nod.

“Yes, I see you don't. And I wish I could explain. But I can't. I guess you would have had to have lived my life before you could understand. You see.... I want you. In every way.”

My head snapped up. I was staggered by his admission.

“What? Then what are we arguing about?”

He shook his head, smiling a melancholy smile I knew well by now. “No, you don't understand. I want you. Which is exactly why I can't have you.”

I frowned. He waited for my answer, but I didn't say anything.

Finally he said: “Angela, what's the matter?”

“Well...” I peered up at him, carefully. “I may never have been great at logic. But either logic works different in Italy, or I'm suddenly smarter than you, because that sounds just plain silly.”

And suddenly, all the tension was gone. He burst out laughing, and seeing that, I couldn’t help but join in. Soon we were both holding our bellies and only managing to stay upright because we clung on to each other – which felt nice.

“You're right,” Giacomo chortled. “Logic does work different in Italy!” He tugged on my hand and suddenly was striding away.

“Where are we going?” I wanted to know, still grinning.

“Don't you remember? I said I was going to show you the secret places of the city.”

“I've lived in this city my whole life, and you think there are places you can show me?”

“Of course I do. Want a bet?”

He grinned at me, obviously remembering how our last bet had gone for me. I pouted.

“No. But I still don't think there's anything here you could show me that I haven't seen before. Nothing I would be interested in, anyway.”

“Really?” His smile was dazzling. “Well then I guess you're in for a surprise.”

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Guessing time! Where is he gonna take her, what are they gonna do?? Any ideas? ;)

Cheers

Rob

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