Chapter 31: (Mia's POV)

It was currently midnight and I was in my bathroom, taking a shower while Ryder was sleeping in my room. I really hate myself for lying to him last night and for doing something against his will but it's for his own good. I turned the shower off and quickly dried my body before throwing on some shorts and a hoodie. After that, I towel dried my hair and left it damp to air dry. I slowly and quietly tip toed out of my bathroom to see him still sleeping. Knowing that he was asleep, I went down to the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. I was filling up the glass when I heard Ryder yell my name. I stood still for a second trying to figure out if that was real or if I was hallucinating or my ears were ringing but then I heard him yell again.

And the scariest part was that he sounded like he was in pain. Did he hurt himself? I put the glass on the kitchen counter and sprinted up the stairs and broke into my room to see him sitting on the floor, with his back against my bed while he held his head in his hands, sobbing. Instinctively, I ran up to him and kneeled down in front of him. "Ryder? Oh my god, Ryder, what happened? Are you ok? Why are you crying?" I began panicking. I have him known him for so long and I have never seen him cry like this. I saw a tear slip his eyes earlier today but right now, he seemed like he was having a panic attack. "Mia, don't go! Don't go! Don't go! Please don't go! Don't leave me!" he yelled.

Why does he think I'm leaving him? "Ryder, I am not going anywhere. I'm right here." I explained reassuringly while I pulled him into a hug. He immediately responded by wrapping his arms around me tightly. "Mia, you can't go to see him. You won't go. Promise me you won't go! Please, please, please!" he hugged me even tighter than before. How the hell am I supposed to even talk about this with him if he's having a panic attack about it. "Ryder, why don't you calm down and we can talk about this tomorrow morning?" I suggested but he started frantically shaking his head. "No, no, no! I can't risk it! I can't risk losing you! Mia, please? I'm begging you!" he melted down onto the floor, lying down on his back while he continued to sob.

"Ryder. Everything will be fine." I tried reassuring him again but he was terrified. "Mia, please. You're all I have left! God forbid, if something h-happens to you, what the fuck will I do?" he grabbed my arm and held my hand in his while he hiccuped from crying so hard. "Do you really not want me to go that bad, Ryder?" I asked. What? I couldn't help myself. He's sitting here crying because he doesn't want me doing something. I hate myself so much for being the reason that he's crying right now. "Yes. I d-don't want you going that b-bad!" he hiccuped again. "Promise me you won't go!" he pleaded while I sat down, leaning my back against the bed while I pulled his head into my lap. For fuck's sake. "I promise I won't go." I said, agreeing to what he wanted, because it was ripping me to shreds seeing him in so much pain.

"Really?" he asked, as if he couldn't believe that I had just agreed to what he was begging me to do. "If you really don't want me to go, then I won't go." I said while I ran my fingers through his hair since it calmed him down before I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry Mia. I'll go and speak to him. I'll do it tomorrow if you want me to but just please, don't go see him." he requested again. "Ryder, I won't go see him or speak to him, I promise. But, I don't want you to go and speak to him anytime soon." I explained as he began to calm down.

I slowly got up, him getting up with me and then lying down with me. "Y-you don't? But our relationship is-" he began but I cut him off. "Our relationship is doing just fine. You're not ready yet, Ryder. And I am so, so sorry for pressuring you into leaving the gang. But I don't want you to do it yet." I breathed, realizing my mistake. "I want you to do it when you want to, and when you think you're ready." I explained to him. "Mia, can I tell you something?" he whispered, trying to keep his eyes open while he almost fell asleep. "Anything babe." I whispered, still running my hands through his hair. "I just realized something." he mumbled.

"And what's that?" I asked in a hushed voice, calming him down more and more by the second.

"I'm in love with you." he mumbled in just above a whisper, loud enough for me to hear what he said. Thank the lord! "Good. Cause I'm in love with you too." I said calmly before kissing his forehead. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. He's in love with me too?! Yes!!! Once I processed that the guy I'm in love with, is in love with me too, I collected myself and lied down next to him, eventually dozing off.

x-X-x The next morning

I was still asleep when I heard someone pacing around my room while on the phone with someone and I shortly realized that it was Ryder. "Dude, I swear I don't know if it really happened or if it was all a dream. Even if it was real, why would I want to admit that I confessed that I'm in love with her while I was having a panic attack in front of her?" I heard him say into the phone. "Stop laughing bro. It was serious. Just think about how bad things could have gone if she really did go to meet him. Should I just leave? Hide from her for the rest of my life?" he asked into the phone, making me smile to myself which I quickly hid.

"It will never be not awkward between us now. Great." he muttered into the phone in frustration. "I'm just gonna believe it was a dream so I stay calm." he said before saying bye to who I'm assuming was Ethan or Daniel, and hanging up. After that he sat down in bed next to me, facing his back towards where I lied. "Good morning Ryder." I mumbled with a smile on my face, making him jump and turn around. "Oh um, h-hey. Good morning." he stuttered. Awe, he was being shy.

"Ryder." I started as I sat up next to him and wrapped my blanket around myself. "It wasn't a dream." I laughed a little and tried to hide my flushed face with the blanket and smoothly as possible. I'm guessing you can figure out how smooth that was.

"Oh- Oh shit. Um- it wasn't?" he awkwardly chuckled before scratching the back of his neck.

"No, Ryder it wasn't. I'm sorry you didn't get to tell me the way you wanted but I'm glad you did." I laughed awkwardly. Well, I was a little disappointed that he was embarrassed just cause he cried in front of me. I mean he's seen me sob like that numerous times so it's not such a big deal to me. It was just a big deal that he cared so much about me. "I just thought you'd find it weird that I um- I cried like that in front of you. I know you've never seen me cry like that but..." he trailed off. "Ryder, I don't care that you cried. I care about the reason that you cried over. Did it really mean that much to you if I went or not?" I asked still a little hesitant and confused.

"Of course it did. Mia, I'm really glad I told you. At least you know now right?" he blushed a little.

"Yeah, at least I know you're in love with me." I said teasingly.

"Yeah, and you're in love with me too." he teased back.

"Does that make me your weakness?" I asked thinking about what Crystal said to him.

"Yes. But it also makes you my strength." he pulled the blanket, pulling me closer and kissing my forehead, making me smile.