surprise!
the next update will be on Friday if you guys can get me to 100 comments for this chapter!

Sunday if not cause I'm lazy and need motivation. Lol.

ps: happy tears ahead!

✩

A M A Y A

"Why aren't you coming with us, Mommy?" Parker asks as I finish zipping his jeans.

His big eyes are like two saucers staring wide at me. I am standing on my knees to match his height but his father's features on him still manage to make me a little intimidated whenever I am near him.

"Uncle Jeremy needs Mommy to stay here, honey," I reply, patting his cheek as I smile at him.

A gloominess settles upon him as he looks at the boots adorning his feet. His small lips pucker as he drags a foot back and forth over the floor.

"I'll miss you, Mommy," he says when he meets my eyes again. "But it's okay. I'm going with Dad. I'm a big boy now!"

"Are you?"

"Yes, Mommy. Only big boys get to go alone with their Dads. See..." He moves around, then shows me his attire which consists of a pair of jeans and a white checkered shirt paired with little black boots. "I don't even wear diapers anymore."

A chuckle leaves me at his words. He gives me a toothy grin when he hears my laughter. My boy is only four but the way he talks, I sometimes forget how mature he is than kids his age.

It is the day of my wedding with Jeremy which is in two hours. We are holding a small ceremony just for a show for his father. I invited Mom and Shaun to play along but no one else.

It has been an entire week since Carter and I decided to take a major step for our child. We now have joint custody of Parker and he will now get to rightfully spend equal time with both his parents. It was a mutual agreement between us.

I spent the week trying my best to remain professional around Carter when we were at the office. Every day, we had to endure hours together with him being my boss and I, his assistant. Yet every night, before leaving, he made sure to keep repeating those words in my ear like a prayer.

'And remember..." he hummed every night in my ear. "I love you, snippy'

His mask of professionalism would fall off when he said that. I came so close to saying those words back but stopped myself.

Time. We both need time.

On the last day of the week, he announced that his job here was done and I handed him my resignation letter much to Siana and Bryce's disappointment. Bryce was disappointed because he is my friend and Siana was more disappointed because she has been making me do all her HR work.

Ever since she started dating Bryce, she hasn't been into the right track about office dating rules. I am only glad that she never found out about Carter and me. No one did.

"Mommy!" Parker snaps me back to the present.

"Yes, honey?"

"Where did you go?" He tilts his head, observing me with pretty eyes.

"Nowhere, honey."

"Take me with you next time," he says.

I lightly comb my fingers to adjust the small strands of hair falling over his forehead. He looks like my proper, little, handsome boy. Ready to go on a trip to visit his great-grandpa with his father.

Three knocks at the door of my room make us turn to find Jeremy standing there. He is leaning with his arms crossed by the doorframe. He came here early in the morning to help me with packing the necessary items for the trip. Parker will be gone for a week but Carter promised me that they will be back anytime Parker asks for his Mom, even if it's in the middle of the night.

Perks of owning a private jet, I guess.

"Mr. Bell is at the door," Jeremy informs.

"Mr. Bell?" I can't help but laugh at his tone. "What's wrong with you? He's your age."

"Dude gave me the dirtiest look when I opened the door, Maya." He shrugs. "He probably thinks I'm stealing you from him or something."

With Carter's attitude, I don't doubt his words.

"Dad's here! Mommy, I gotta go!"

Parker jumps in excitement.

I drag myself up from the floor, feeling a heavy cloud of remorse take its place in my heart. This is the first time I am letting my son go away from me. He has always been near me. Even the fact that he is going with his Dad and Uncle Dawson to his own home does nothing to lessen that nervousness.

"You remember what I said?" I bend down to cup his cheeks between my palms, making him gaze at me. "No troubling Dad, okay?"

"Dad says I can trouble him all I want. The more the better."

"Does he now?"

Not even a month has gone by that the father and son got to know each other and Carter is already making up for his lost time it seems.

"Relax, Maya," Jeremy joins in. "He's going with his Dad and by the look on that guy's face, I'm pretty sure he will be nothing but safe."

I sigh, picking up Parker's travel bag from my bed. I hold his hand as we both walk out of my room with Jeremy trailing behind us. The moment we reach the door, Parker releases my hand, running straight for his father.

My breath catches when I see Carter standing there dressed in faded jeans and a leather jacket, underneath which a white shirt covers his torso with the top few buttons undone. I am frozen in time suddenly, recalling the last time I saw him in a leather jacket.

He looks so hot in that outfit as he crouches on his knees to pick our son from the floor.

So like my Carter

"You ready, bud?"

He pokes Parker's nose with his forefinger as the boy wraps his hands around his neck, hugging his Dad.

"Always, Dad."

Carter is so occupied by his son that he doesn't even see me. Behind them, Dawson emerges like the large figure he is, with his hands in the pockets of his dress pants.

Seeing Carter ignore me is like I have been pricked by thorns. I try to wash that bad feeling away as I carry Parker's trip bag to the door.

"Good morning," I greet, smiling at Carter.

He looks down at me and gives me a silent nod. It is so awkward between us that even the air seems to thicken with unresolved issues. I didn't think Carter would accept my suggestion to give us some time so easily. I had gotten used to his persistence.

"Here, give me that," Dawson says, taking the bag from me.

I let go, silently begging that Carter say a word or two to me too.

"Parker, honey, how about you go with Uncle Dawson and help him place your bag in the car?" he says to our son. "I'll meet you in a minute, okay?"

"Okay, Dad!" Parker chirps as his Dad puts him back on the floor. Like a routine, he immediately hooks his arm around Dawson's hand, before turning to look at me. "Bye, Mommy!"

With unshed tears in my eyes, I wave him bye. Like the brave boy he is, he quietly lets Dawson walk him to the elevators. The three of us watch the big man and the little boy disappear in it as the doors shut.

Carter finally lands his focus on me. Jeremy takes his place beside me, leaning an arm by the door as his eyes flicker between me and Carter.

"So..." I sway on my toes, pulling my hands behind my back. "Just take care of him. Call me whenever you get a chance, please..."

"I will, Am..." Carter nods.

His eyes move to Jeremy from me and instantly, all the lightness in him vanishes. His shoulders become tense as his lips press to a thin line. Jeremy arches an eyebrow, waiting for Carter to speak.

"I don't think we have met yet," Carter says with an obviously fake smile on his lips as he extends a hand toward Jeremy. "I'm Carter Bell, the guy Amaya is in love with."

I flip my head in their direction at the speed of lightning, terrified of what Carter just said. Jeremy keeps staring at Carter and as I watch, he slowly pulls himself to stand straight. He reaches out and takes Carter's extended hand in a firm grip.

"I'm Jeremy McGraw," he says. "I'm the guy she is marrying."

Fuck!

Carter's hold tightens visibly around Jeremy's hand and I can feel Jeremy's lips twitch as he watches how he is affecting him. I am baffled by the conversation, recalling a particular moment in high school when this same level of tension existed between Carter and Stephen.

If you ask me, the confrontation didn't go very well after some really bad punches were thrown. Coach Jackson can vouch for that.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. McGraw..." I can see Carter practically attempting to break Jeremy's hand. Jeremy winces a little but otherwise remains intact. "...Amaya's husband for three months."

Men and toxic masculinity do go hand-in-hand

Not that I expected anything else from Carter. He has always been super possessive about him.

When we were in college, we used to play a game where I flirted with other guys and girls while he watched, and then when he came home, he fucked me with all the jealousy he had stored in him throughout the day. It was hot.

There was a moment when we had the hottest sex in a classroom after I made out with Stella Miller to spite him. She was our sexy senior and had a thing for me. Carter became so intense that day that it turned out to be the last time we ever played that stupid game.

"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Bell."

Jeremy forcefully pulls his hand away from Carter's grip, giving it a shake. I could imagine how much it hurt him. Carter exhales a deep breath, pretending to cool down which I know he hasn't.

Carter and his jealousy issues go way deep.

"I...I should go," he gulps, stealing a glance at me.

I nod. "Call me when you land."

"I will."

He remains standing there, dragging his foot on the floor like our son does whenever he is nervous. I can feel the struggle roaming his mind. For him, this is the last time he is seeing me as myself because when he returns, I will be Jeremy's wife.

Butterflies flutter in my belly as I take a step forward. He lifts his eyes from the floor, a line forming between his eyebrows at my action.

I can feel him freeze as I reach out to snake my hands under his arms, rounding them around his waist. I place my cheek on his chest, breathing in the pinewood scent of his cologne. His body relaxes as I hug him.

In Carter Bell's arms, I still feel safe. I think it's true what Melody used to say about us when we were together.

No matter what he says.

No matter what he does.

Whenever Carter calls.

Amaya runs to him.

I pull away as reality sinks in. He didn't return my hug and I know why. It is because he can't figure out what to do with me. I don't blame him. I hate myself right now too.

"You better take care of her, McGraw," Carter warns Jeremy. "Because the moment she calls me, I'll take her off with me. Damn those three months."

He says all that while keeping his eyes locked with mine. Jeremy doesn't say anything in return.

With that, Carter turns, taking steps toward the elevator but he stops midway.

I hear my heart pounding in my chest as he stands frozen in the middle of the corridor. I stare at his back, catching myself admiring the shape of his tough muscles underneath those clothes. I know there are marks on his back — marks my nails left.

"Fuck it!" I hear him curse before he spins back on his heels.

He walks back to me at the fastest pace ever and before I can speak, I feel his mouth on my own.

His hands move to cup my face as his lips swallow me whole. I gasp, tasting his possessive love on my tongue. My eyes shut at the sensation and I find myself kissing him back.

His lips are warm, soft but their pressure against mine is heavy. His palms on both sides of my face are calloused as they graze my skin. I lose in him for what feels like hours but only lasts seconds.

He pulls away just as quickly. His hands drop from my face.

When I open my eyes, he is no longer in front of me but already walking away from me like he has been burned by my touch.

He doesn't turn back this time.