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A M A Y A

I open the door of my apartment with trembling fingers. The key misses the lock twice before it fits.

Once in, my body drags itself to my hall room where I drop down on the sofa with a sigh. Tears tease my eyes but I don't wish to spill them.

That woman — Molly. I should have known she had some kind of thing going on with Carter. She already called herself the love of his life and unless she is a psychopath, I doubt she concluded without Carter's choice in the matter.

She was giving him a blow job and he was enjoying himself.

Fuck! Here I had almost had in mind that I would give Carter the benefit of the doubt and that is how he repaid me. By lying about the other woman in his life.

What did the last two weeks mean to him then? Was he just stringing me along for fun?

I had gone to tell him about my deal with Jeremy and ask his help in the matter.

"I hate you, Amaya. How could you be so stupid!" I scold myself, looking at the ceiling as memories of the weekend with Carter flash before me.

His touch, his moans, his whispers...he almost had me melting for him again.

The sound of the doorbell distracts me from my thoughts. Getting up from the sofa, I force my body against its wish to the door. I turn on the security screen and find two very familiar faces grinning at the camera above the door.

Two men stare at me. Both star players of basketball and both married. One brown, one white. They are both dressed in casual T-shirts and jeans and have the kind of spark on their faces that I can only identify with two of my best friends.

My heart instantly lights up. I squeal, literally, as I pull the door open in a hurry.

"SURPRISE!" Stephen and Kyle both scream in unison.

"Oh my God, guys!"

I fling myself into their arms, tears streaming out of my eyes.

"Gods...we missed you, Amaya. It's been so long," Stephen says, squeezing me along with Kyle in a hug so tight I can barely breathe.

When we part, they both have the biggest smiles on their lips. I chuckle at their excitement, my heart fluttering as I recall how long it has been since I have been with my friends. They are the only ones who love me without any conditions. I wouldn't have survived these past five years without them. They are the only thread that still keeps me connected to the past I sometimes wish I could forget.

"We bought presents!" Kyle gushes, bending his large, athletic body to pick up a giant box from the ground.

"Oh my Gosh, Kyle! That's huge."

He hands me the large box and it weighs a ton, causing me to topple with its weight.

"That's me, babe. I'm very huge. Ask him."

Kyle knocks his elbow to Stephen's chest making the latter throw him a glare that is half-hidden by a blush.

"Shut up, Kyle!" Stephen hits him back. "They are mostly snacks, cookies, and toys for Parker."

"Thank you...Come on in," I snort at their bickering, beaming at the love between two of my two closest friends as I let them in.

***

Half an hour later, after catching up on our lives where I conveniently leave out Carter, Stephen, Kyle, and I are sitting around the sofa with half-drunk beer bottles in our hands and a half-eaten pizza on the coffee table. Kyle almost ate half of it by himself which made us order another. Not a surprise since he has to take good care of his health every day but now that he has taken a step back from playing for the NBA, he is stuffing himself with junk.

Stephen is the only one who plays now.

"I'm gonna miss being drunk like this," Kyle remarks, finishing the rest of his drink in one large gulp.

His legs are spread on the floor and he is leaning on the single-seater as he sits on the ground. Stephen is behind him on the single-seater as he lets his fingers run through his husband's hair. I rest my cheek on the heel of my hand as I watch the two of them.

"Why? What's happening?" I ask, curious about Kyle's statement.

Kyle and Stephen exchange looks between them. A smirk plays as their eyes communicate without their mouths needing to speak. I envy what they have. That's what it was like for Carter and me once upon a time.

"We're adopting!" Kyle declares.

My chest inflates with a sudden burst of happiness. I stay suspended in the moment, blinking at my two best friends like they have just told me they won a lottery. It is bigger than a lottery though. Much much bigger.

"Oh my God!"

A fresh wave of tears springs from my eyes as I jump from my seat just as they stand up too. I throw my body into their arms, hugging them so tight that I almost choke them with my enthusiasm. We literally do a small twirl, jumping like kindergarten kids in a circle.

When I pull back, I am heaving with excitement.

"When? How? Tell me everything!" I ask, clapping my hands like a happy kid.

I drop down on my seat while they settle back into theirs. Stephen has the pinkest blush on his cheeks. He runs his fingers through his hair, fighting a bright grin.

"We had it planned for a while," Kyle begins, resting his elbows on his thick thighs. "We're debating if we really want kids. Turns out, we do. Seeing you with Parker reassured us about that. We applied as soon as we were ready and after three years, a twenty-year-old girl has finally chosen us to parent her unborn kid. We couldn't be happier for the privilege."

"She doesn't want the kid?"

"No...she kind of had an accidental pregnancy like you..." Stephen informs, biting his bottom lip as hesitation coats his voice.

I look down at my hands which have become rough over the years. His words hang in the air like tension between us. There is an undercurrent of emotions surging through me. Being reminded of how I had Parker isn't something I appreciate but the fact that I had him is enough.

My son is my world. His world is about to change now that both his parents want him equally. I don't want to think about what Carter intends to do but if it is something that takes my son away from me, I will fight him to death.

I love that man. I still do.

But I love my son more.

Inhaling a breath, I lift my head as I glance at my two friends, beaming with joy in their happiness.

"This is a huge step. Are you guys one hundred percent sure?" I inquire. "Babies require care twenty-four seven. You can't just leave them at home without a good babysitter. Being a parent comes with many responsibilities and as your friend, I believe it is my duty to make sure that you have it all under control."

The guys both raise their eyebrows at me at the same time. That action screams mockery. I narrow my eyes at them, glaring through two snake-like slits.

"You were always the queen of motherly instincts, Sommers." Stephen teases me. "No wonder Parker is the definition of a perfect kid. I hope our little girl grows up to be like you someday."

Warmth fills my heart as my expression softens. I smile at the guys, thanking God for giving me angels like them for friends.

"You're having a girl?" I ask.

"Yes." Stephen nods. "And we're counting on you to help raise her to be as perfect as you."

"That's wonderful, Steph. Thanks for considering me worth it."

"You're welcome, Sommers," he says, throwing me a wink.

"Why's everything so quiet?" Kyle suddenly gets up from his seat, slamming his empty beer bottle on the coffee table. "We should celebrate. We need some music. Sommers, dance with me."

He reaches for his phone and turns on some music. I don't even get to respond before both of them are dragging me up from my seat. I laugh as Kyle twirls me around, pulling me in his arms as we dance. The music is rock but we are slow. The three of us are lost in the moment — dancing like high schoolers at a prom in my hall. There is laughter and bickering, there is singing along with the wrong words to the lyrics, there is teasing each other for being the worst dancers ever, and then there is just silence at times.

We don't know for how long we do that but when I find myself sitting back in my seat and staring at my two friends, so lost in each other, I am overwhelmed with emotions. They are dancing together, holding each other close.

I wonder what our lives would have been if Carter hadn't left that day. I would have had a husband and a kid. The three of us and Stephen, Kyle, and their daughter. This would have been my life. Whereas this is what it is now. I am living alone, apart from all, and I am about to marry someone for a marriage of convenience.

I wish it was like the movies — where everything turns perfect in the end. I wish I had a happily ever after too.

Where is my happily ever after? Where is my fairytale ending? Why do I always have to be the worst victim of fate? Where is my very own family?

I am lost in thoughts when the vibration of my phone on the table makes me flick my gaze toward the screen. The caller ID reads Dawson's name.

My heart does a flip as I receive the call with an unsteady hand, pressing a finger to my other ear to block the loud music playing.

"Hello?"

"Amaya?" a panicky Dawson's voice greets me. "Amaya Sommers? Is it you?"

"Yes, Dawson. It's me," I answer flatly, recalling that I am talking to the bodyguard of the man who betrayed me.

"Amaya, thank God..." Dawson sighs audibly. "Amaya...please come to Carter's penthouse. He needs you."

"He doesn't need me, Dawson. His Molly Delacruz is there for him. Don't call me again."

"No...Amaya...please..." I am about to cut the call when that pleading, sad tone of his stops me. "Amaya...please come here. Carter...he needs you...He is sick and he's calling for you. Please..."

"If he's sick, then take him to the hospital. I'm not a doctor."

"No, Amaya...please don't cut the call. Look...I don't know what happened between you two but right now, he needs you. Carter...he's..."

I hear the sound of his harsh gulp over the phone. His voice is broken as if he is crying. The sassiness in me is replaced my worry instantly.

"Dawson, what happened?"

"He's sick...I don't know what to do..." he answers. "The doctor said he has a high fever and he gave medicines and all but he won't take them. He's...calling for you, Amaya. Please come here."

"Dawson...I'm sorry...but I can't..."

"Amaya...I know you're angry...But I'm begging you. He's like my little brother....I...I can't see him like this. Don't do it for him. Do it for me....Please, Amaya...I beg you."

His voice is so full of grief that my heart clenches with pain. This is unlike Dawson. Whatever is happening must be serious.

I sit there hesitantly, counting each of Dawson's frantic breaths over the phone. There is a quarrel brewing between my heart and mind. I don't want to go. For once, I want to choose myself before Carter.

But he is Carter. No matter what he does, he will always be my Carter in some way or the other. The chord that connects us is strong. If he is calling for me, I won't be able to rest until I go.

"Hang on, Dawson," I say after a while of silence. "I'll be there in an hour."