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A M A Y A

It is Monday morning and I feel better than I have felt in years. Carter left this morning after Dawson called him in for some urgent work at the office.

We spent the entire weekend together, wrapped hot and naked. There were barely any words spoken between us. We just wanted to feel our bodies close to each other. Before he left today, he ordered me to take a leave and I had to listen because he is, after all, my boss.

A boss who fucked me all weekend.

Parker is staying at Mom's so I have nothing to do of consequence except for one thing — telling Jeremy the truth.

I dress simply. My T-shirt reads 'Never Give Up' in bold, capital letters on my chest. I throw in a pair of jeans to complete the outfit and tie my hair in a high ponytail. After putting on a baby-pink lipstick, I feel confident about the important day ahead.

I have already removed the engagement ring Jeremy gave me from my finger and have it wrapped securely in my handkerchief.

This is a big day for me. I am finally taking a big leap towards pursuing a relationship with Carter again. I have decided to give him a second chance and this time, I can only hope that he doesn't leave my heart broken again.

I take an Uber to Jeremy's house and half an hour later, I am standing in front of his door. Chipper's bark is the first thing I hear before the door opens and the poodle jumps at my feet. Chipper has a very strong sense of smell. He always knows if a familiar person is behind the door.

"Amaya," Jeremy says, looking surprised to see me.

He is dressed in a plain white T-shirt and joggers. His hair has grown in the past two weeks and falls over his forehead. He has a shadow of a beard adorning his cheeks which he rubs as he observes me.

"Hi!" I try to maintain my sweetest voice while smiling at him. "I'm so sorry for not picking up your calls. I have been too busy with office work."

And busy doing my boss.

"Uh...that's good to hear." He smiles, running his hand through his hair. "I had been worried about you. I thought you were upset with me or something."

"Why would I be upset with you?"

He should be the one upset with me. I have been ignoring him intentionally. Being with Carter was one thing but being with Carter while knowing that Jeremy was counting on me being his wife for three months was a selfish thing to do. It made me feel guilty and after the eventful turn of events in my life recently, I thought it better to forget about him for a while so that I can put back the shattered pieces of my life together.

"Nothing, I just thought. Here, come in."

I step inside, letting Chipper jump around me. I pick him up in my arms and he starts licking my face while letting out soft cries, signaling how happy he is to see me.

I wonder if Carter would let me have a dog if we ever marry again.

Nope. Not going there.

"Aww...sweetie," I coo at the dog, rubbing his fur while Jeremy locks the door.

Once we are cut off from the outside world, I feel my heart squeeze. Putting Chipper back on the floor, I turn to face Jeremy.

"Amaya, I'm so glad you're here," he says, stalking toward me. "I have been so worried. I didn't know what to do."

"Jeremy..." I sigh, reaching for his hands to hold them in mine. "We need to talk."

My tone is serious. He blinks, his eyes immediately falling to my bare ring finger. Something dark crosses his face as he looks between me and the finger where he had once put the ring on.

"Amaya," he gulps. "Where's your ring?"

"I...I'm sorry, Jeremy...Things have taken a turn," I confess, dreading his reaction once I tell him the whole truth. "I don't think I can help you."

"What? What happened?" he asks, panic coating his voice. "Did I do something? Are you upset? Why the sudden change of plans?"

He looks so disturbed. His hands leave mine as he rubs at his face frantically. The distress he feels can be felt from miles. I don't blame him. He was depending on me.

"Jeremy...I...I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I don't think I'd be able to marry you for three months. There is some stuff going on in my life right now."

"What is it?" He steps closer and puts his hands on my shoulders, looking at me with gentle eyes. "Tell me. Maybe I can help you, Amaya."

His concern is uncorrupted. The way he looks at me with so much pain and hopelessness has me feeling guiltier.

"Jeremy...I—"

"Amaya?"

The voice calling my name makes me freeze. My breathing stills as Jeremy looks behind me and I follow his gaze, turning to find myself facing a well-built middle-aged man with greying hair. He is about Jeremy's height with the same build and facial features. Almost instantly, I recognize him as none other than Jeremy's father himself — the reason behind our fake engagement.

The man studies me with curious grey eyes, looking me up and down. I know a lot about him from all the stuff I had heard from Jeremy. He was a military officer back in his youth before starting his business and choosing a new career path. He is extremely strict, both as a father and as a businessman. He lost his wife two years after marriage, almost a month after Jeremy's birth. He had loved her a lot and never married again. He even wears his wedding ring after all these years.

His gaze is trained and it makes me gulp. I had no idea he would be here. I should have called Jeremy first before showing up.

Fuck! This is bad. This is very bad.

"Mr. McGraw, I believe?" I blurt as the man scrutinizes me.

He glances at Jeremy and the latter bows his head down. No wonder Jeremy is so scared of his father. His presence is intimidating.

"So you are Amaya..." he remarks, pulling his hands behind his back in a military stance as he steps forward.

I move back, my back hitting Jeremy's chest while his father stalks closer. Jeremy remains unmoved while I am searching my brain for words to help me in this situation.

"Hello...Mr. McGraw..." I fumble out. "Jeremy has told me a lot about you."

He stops a foot away from us and looks between me and his son.

"You must be the fiancee my son was telling me about," he says and my heart starts to pound in my chest.

Behind me, I feel Jeremy's breath near my earlobe when he leans down.

"I called you," he whispers. "You didn't pick up. Father came yesterday."

Oh, fuck! This cannot be happening.

I force myself to smile at Mr. McGraw. He has his chest puffed out and his eyebrows are furrowed at me. He is definitely judging me right now, speculating if I am good for his son.

In that case, I should try to make him dislike me as much as possible.

"You have a son?" he asks.

"Huh...oh, yeah...yes, I...I have a son."

Fuck my social anxiety! This is not the right time. I hate meeting new people.

My throat feels like there are needles stuck inside. There is perspiration forming over my forehead at how nervous I am. I had never had to face such a situation before.

"Hmmm..." Mr. McGraw observes. "I had expected better from my son but youth these days..."

I feel a certain relief when I hear him say that. He hates me already?

"But...a promise is a promise," he continues, then looks straightaway at Jeremy, completely dismissing me. "When's the wedding?"

Jeremy's grip on my arm tightens. I lift my gaze to him, finding him biting his bottom lip as if he doesn't know what to say. That is why he was so nervous when I told him about my change of plans. He must have blabbered about me to his Dad.

"Uh...we don't have a date yet," he replies to his Dad. "We're planning a small wedding."

His voice is gruff. Any father would know that their kid is lying but Jeremy's dad only nods.

"Make it next week. I'll extend my stay," he orders. "Once you two are wedded, we'll talk business."

His tone leaves no room for argument and just as suddenly as he entered, Mr. McGraw disappears through an entrance into Jeremy's living room. I am gawking when I turn to Jeremy.

"Oh my God! What do we do now?" I ask, horrified by what just happened.

Jeremy pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a strangled sigh.

"What's there to do?" He shrugs, bending to lift Chipper from the floor and curling the poodle to his chest.

He always does that when he is scared or nervous. His pet gives him solace.

"I'm so sorry, Jeremy. I should have called you. I didn't expect your Dad to be here."

"It's okay, Amaya. I'll tell Dad the truth. If you don't want to do this, I won't force you. Marriage isn't a joke. Even if it's for three months, " he says, holding Chipper close to him and hugging the dog tightly.

I know he didn't mean to taunt me but it sounds like that. I gaze at the floor in humiliation. I feel sorry and ashamed for doing this to him after promising to help him. This is unlike me to break promises. Carter Bell does that.

"What about your start-up then? You're just going to let it go?"

He lifts his gaze from Chipper to give me a warm, broken smile. "I'll wait some more years. Maybe I'll save enough to no longer need Dad's money. Or I'll pitch my ideas to see if someone wants to invest."

"But you don't have anything prepared, Jer. You were depending on this. Fuck! I feel so bad."

"Don't, Amaya. I'll be okay."

He says it now but once I leave, he will be stressed. Jeremy tries to be all hard to show off but deep down he is the most sensitive guy I have ever met. He cares too much about everything and everyone in his life. In the two years I have known him, not once did he say No to me when I needed him. He was there when no one else was. He is my only friend in the city and in two weeks, I have hurt him in the worst possible ways. Be it breaking up with him or retreating from my promise to help him.

He doesn't deserve someone he cannot count on and I don't want to be that person.

"Okay..." I sigh. "Okay...okay...okay...let's see."

I mentally try to calculate all my thoughts that led to this decision. One weekend with Carter and I am ready to throw away everything I have built by myself in the past five years. I don't even trust him completely. After everything that Carter has said to me after his return, some things have rubbed me the wrong way. There is still a grey area between us.

Can I just let it all go again? Am I ready to sacrifice my current life in exchange for a future that is unsure with Carter? Am I ready to break the heart of a dear friend just because my ex is back in town?

"Okay, I...I think I can do this..." I say after some moments of speculation.

I am ready for Carter but I am not ready for the doubts he comes with. He is still hiding stuff from me, hiding the truth about why he left. I cannot sacrifice my current life for a person who isn't open with me. I can't be the only one vulnerable in our relationship.

Jeremy's face lights up. "Amaya, you really don't have to do this. Your personal life is more important than this."

"No, Jeremy. I was just being stupid. You need me. People hardly need me."

He puts Chipper down and takes a step toward me. Cupping my face between his hands, he stares down at me with a soft expression. His hold is comforting, just like a friend's hold should be.

"Amaya, you're always needed. Don't think so low about yourself."

It is this kindness of him that gets to me always. He is so different from Carter.

"Jeremy, your father is right. If I'm to do this, we have to do this soon. Next week seems perfect."

"Won't it be too soon?"

"It's just for three months, right? Once you have your father's funds, we can both walk our own ways and I won't spend the rest of my life feeling guilty for turning my back on you."

"Amaya, are you sure?" he questions, a hint of doubt lingering in his voice.

I move my hands up to curl them around his wrists. The determination is firm within me as our gazes meet.

"As sure as I'll ever be."