✩

C A R T E R

Where is she?

I type the text and then press send, looking up to see whether Dawson has received it. He is standing by the door of the large, round room like a guard with his hands behind his back while Philip Cross shares the details of the company's financial status in the market.

I haven't paid a single attention to Philip's words because my eyes are glued to the door from where I expect Amaya to burst in anytime soon.

She is so very late. I have to teach her a lesson for that.

Something about pissing Amaya off nowadays gets me off. It's cute to see her all bothered and on the edge of her seat. She thinks she can pretend there's nothing between us anymore but I know that's not true. The electricity between us is still there and I need her to feel it too.

Fuck that boyfriend of hers! She knows she belongs with me. I am not letting another man take my life with her.

Dawson must have heard the ping of his phone. He moves, taking it out of his pocket, and then peers at me from over the screen.

I pretend to focus on Philip as he explains the graphs to us all. The conference room has about twenty people around the large table, all of whom are my most dedicated employees with superior positions. I had hoped that Amaya would be excited to join me for her first meeting after her promotion.

She left to meet that douche bag of hers and hasn't come back yet. To say I am fucking pissed would be an understatement.

My phone screen lights up in my hand and I take a peek to see Dawson's reply.

I have no idea, boss.

Lips pressed into a thin line, I glance at my PA, who swallows a gulp seeing my stoic look. My fingers curl to fists under the table, the need to ditch the meeting and call Amaya growing urgent.

Where is she?

As if to answer my question, the door to the conference room opens. I suck in a breath inaudibly as Amaya's pretty face pops in before her body follows along.

"I'm so sorry. Please continue..."

She smiles at the room as she invites herself in. Philip stops for a while and every pair of eyes in the room focuses on me. The employees are scared and I can smell the intrigue like a wolf as they glance at each other.

They are waiting for me to say something to Amaya. However, they have no idea that the woman who is expected to take my wrath is the occupant of my heart instead.

As she walks over to me, my eyes slide down her figure like they always do. Her hair is loosened over her shoulders, the long strands falling neatly while her hips sway as she moves closer. Her red dress appears to be in stark contrast with the rest of the neutral-colored surroundings. I had imagined that dress almost ten times on my bedroom floor today whenever the opportunity presented itself.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Bell. I had some urgent work," she says to me, pretending that our conversation in the afternoon didn't happen.

Her voice is so sexy it sends a rush of blood straight to my groin. She knows she has an effect on me. The blink of her eyes gives her away. No other employee would dare to look at me like they can get me on my knees with one crook of their finger.

Amaya can get me anywhere she wants to. On my knees, my face buried between her legs, or on my bed, with my body warm over hers. She knows she can.

Trying to maintain my composure, I shift in my seat, facing my body to hers while she takes the seat reserved for her to my right.

"Glad you decided to grace us with your presence, Miss. Sommers," I remark, leaning in my chair.

Her lips form a frown and her eyebrows come together. She tries to correct her expression back to one of composure but fails as I keep my gaze fixed on her. With her in the room, there is hardly anyone else who can get my attention. Except for Parker.

Damn...I want to see him again. I wonder when Amaya's anger will cool down enough for me to pay a visit to him.

"Sorry, Mr. Bell. Won't happen again, I promise."

"It better not," I let out with a fake note of warning.

As I move my focus back on Philip, ushering for him to continue, the employees in the room look genuinely relieved.

A girl from the far corner, Miss. Siana Gallagher I think her name is, gives a thumbs up to Amaya. Amaya returns it with a roll of her eyes at me.

Even though I'm finally paying attention to what Philip is saying, I have my eyes everywhere in the room. My employees must know that too as none of them dare to blink their eyes away from Philip who stands in the front of the screen.

"Get to the important stuff, Mr. Cross," I interrupt the guy as he slides to another graph. "We don't have all day. What are the estimated risks for next month? That's what you're here to point out. We don't need history."

Philip gulps, his eyes behind his glasses widening a little at my words. He is a tall, lanky man who works too much but his over-passionate attitude proves risky when it comes to higher positions. If he can't control himself, he will stay without being promoted for years.

"Yes...yes, Mr. Bell. I...I just wanted to start with an overview," he stutters. "Wasn't sure if you had the knowledge."

"If I had the knowledge?" I raise an eyebrow at Philip while twirling a pen leisurely through the fingers of my hand. "Mr. Cross, there's a reason I'm sitting here today and you're sweating out there. The presentation is not for me. It's for your teammates here and if you aren't aware of that minor fact, I suggest you leave as soon as possible."

Philip's face turns ashen while I hear Amaya suck in a breath. The man shakes his head, his cheeks turning red.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Bell. I apologize. That was way out of line."

"I'm excusing you this time because you're yet to know me well. Next time..." I stare him down hard and he whitens further. "I won't be quite merciful."

"Yes, Mr. Bell."

Philip resumes his presentation, moving straight for the market studies this time, and the sound of Amaya clicking her pen catches my ears.

I turn to her, intending to ask her quietly why she was so late but the moment my eyes fall on the ring finger of her left hand, I fall silent.

It is like someone has doused me with ice-cold water on an early January morning. My whole body goes numb on the spot when I see the gold band that is decorating that finger.

A finger on which she had once worn our engagement ring.

She doesn't notice me as she starts to scribble stuff on her notepad, too occupied to notice what she has just done to me.

"What the motherfucking hell is that?"

I do not even realize that my words are spoken out loud. I only notice when the room falls silent, Amaya's pen stops scribbling, and she jerks her eyes to meet mine.

She looks between me and her left hand, quickly realizing what I was referring to. She briskly attempts to move the hand under the desk while keeping her eyes on me.

"Mr. Bell? Are you okay?" she asks, gulping down at me.

No, I am not.

What the fuck is she wearing? Did that douche propose to her? Did she fucking accept?

With my nerves gone cold, I grit my teeth, staring at her with a clenched jaw.

"Miss. Sommers, we need to talk," I say, my voice echoing in the otherwise silent room. "Now."

The tone of my voice is murderous and she would better follow me. I swivel my chair, getting up while she does the same.

"You." I point towards Philip who looks somewhat annoyed for being interrupted the third time but keeps his cool. "Continue. I need those reports on my desk by seven."

I instruct the rest of the other members too as Amaya gets up from her seat and starts to follow me. We walk past Dawson who knows better than to not follow me now. He opens the door, however, letting us both out.

Amaya and I find ourselves in a corridor filled with people. We need to go two floors down to get to my office and that would be the best private place for this conversation.

"Come with me," I say to her as I start walking up towards the private elevator.

I spot her worried reflection in the elevator doors as she follows quietly behind me. The doors open and we both enter. I turn and press the required button and wait for the elevator to close.

Be professional. Be professional even if it's killing you.

Even if my mind registers that rule, my hands don't because as soon as the doors are closed, I am pressing the stop button, turning around, and grabbing Amaya by her waist.

"Carter!" she gasps, her bag falling out of her hands as I back her up against the metallic wall behind.

Her hands grab for my collar and she looks up at me just as I stare down at her, rage blinding me to everything but her. My fingers dig into the sides of her waist, my face hovering down until my lips are close enough to touch hers.

The scent of citrus and something flower infiltrates my nostril and all of it is her.

"Tell me where he lives. I'll kill him," I breathe against her lips and she shivers, eyes widening.

"Carter...what do you mean? Let me go!"

She attempts to push me but I don't even budge. One of my hands sneaks up to my collar where I grab her left hand with the ring on it. She looks at it as I grip those fingers into an intense grip on my hold. Her chest rises and falls over mine as she watches me trace my thumb over that ring.

"He proposed to you, didn't he? That's what was urgent. Did you say yes?"

My question doesn't need an answer and yet Amaya looks shaken. Her brown eyes turn glassy as she twists her hand in my grasp. I intertwine our fingers together, my large hand swallowing her soft one as I press our joined hands beside her head on the panel behind. My other hand leaves her waist, moving to the top of her head and resting on the panel too as I draw closer.

"Did you say yes?" I repeat, the words feeling like they are needles shoved inside my throat.

"It's nothing to do with you," she argues back, glaring at me.

"It has everything to do with me! You're doing it to spite me." I push against her, my hips touching hers, my forehead pressing against hers. "You don't want to marry him. You don't love him. Why the hell did you say yes?"

"Carter, let me go! It doesn't concern you. He's my fiance and I love him."

"Liar!" I seethe.

I let go of her hand, cupping her face instead and making her keep her gaze on me.

"Am...this is madness. Don't do this, please..." I feel moisture start to gather in my eyes the more I stare at her. She couldn't be doing this to me. This is too much. "Please baby...if you're doing this because you're scared that I'll take Parker from you, then you don't have to be. Our son will always be yours before mine. All I want is his love. All I want is your love! Keep me away from you, break me, hurt me all you want...just not this."

"Carter...please..." She moves her eyes from me just as I spot a tear slide down her cheek.

I catch it with my thumb, soaking it over my skin. I rub her face, pressing the tips of our noses together as I breathe in her scent. She tenses under me and I know that she feels it too.

I fucking missed it. Five years. For five years I have thought of her, have wanted her every moment and now she is right here, and yet, her heart is far away from me.

"Am...I know you can feel this. I know you can understand the pain I am in right now," I whisper, my voice an octave down to a begging tone. "This isn't fair, Am. You can't just forget all those years we spent with each other. Those weren't a fling. Just give me a chance, sweetheart. I'll do anything."

"If you ever loved me, you wouldn't stop this marriage, Carter," she says, looking up. "Because I love Jeremy and marrying him will make me happy."

"No. It won't. You belong with me."

"No!" Her eyes blaze as she yells to my face. Her jaw hardens and the fixed look she gives me is enough to weigh me down. "I don't love you, Carter Bell. I'll never love you again."

My hold on her softens, the first rush of defeat replacing the rage and jealously. Out of all the things she has said all this time, those words stung the most. My eyelids flicker as my hands drop from her face. I take a step back, my heart beating out of rhythm as I watch her standing there, looking completely serious and rooted in her decision.

"I'm sorry," my voice is barely a whisper when I speak again. "I didn't know you hated me that much."

She stills, her movements growing cold. For a while, we stare at each other like that, the silence in the elevator sickening me. The tenseness in her body evaporates slowly as she exhales a deep breath.

"No, Carter...that's not it."

"It's okay, Am. I get it." I manage to smile through the pain that is shattering my heart into pieces. "I was never worth it."

•••

author's note

Please do vote and comment before turning to the next chapter. It's a double update! 💓