ten. no longer at my window

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"Wren."

I look to my mother as she's cozy on the patio furniture, her laptop sat in front of her, ready to make literary magic. I shrug my school bag higher on my shoulder.

"Off to school?" She asks after sipping her coffee. "Did you get breakfast?"

"Yeah. Grandma made French toast."

My mom sits up. "Well, maybe I should go in a grab some before she cleans up. You don't want me to drive you, right?"

I shake my head. "Just that one time. I'm fully capable now. I-I should get going."

"Alright. Oh! Before you go—when are you working this week? I wanted to ask Tali's family over for dinner."

"Today, tomorrow, and Saturday afternoon."

"Got it. I'll give her a call later today."

I wave then make my way down the porch steps and to the sidewalk. School is the very last place I want to be, but since I already missed a day, it's best that I put up with it. I'd rather be hidden under my covers with my headphones on. Lately the only thing that makes my head feel less jumbled is drowning out the noise with, well, louder noises.

After last week and all that happened, my life has been turned on its head. Knowing that werewolves exist has brought a new outlook on life and the world, but being dragged into the confusion because of some beastly bond—there's no way to explain how I'm feeling. Adam's explanation only left me with more questions. Vivian is there to answer them, but I'm not sure if I want to ask. At this point, more knowledge could lead to more problems. If I never went snooping in the first place, who knows how much easier life would be.

If I never came to Waindale, my head would be functioning just fine.

At lunchtime, I take my seat at Vivian's table. The group is finally making me feel like a true member, but it doesn't feel worth it anymore. All I wanted at the beginning of this was to be included—little did I know what inclusion really required.

"Hey, Wrenley."

I glance up and watch as Elara settles down across the table. I smile and sit with my hands squeezing one another in my lap.

"Hi," I chirp. We've never been alone together before. I'm not sure what to say. "How's your day going?"

"Oh, it's fine. Eli isn't here. Actually, I don't think any of them are."

"Is it because of—"

"Probably," she says. "After a while you'll get used to sudden disappearances. I'm sure it's because of all that's happening. Him becoming you-know-what."

"Right. That's fine."

"So," she starts, a little unsure, "Is it weird being bonded to the new you-know-what? I mean, it must be overwhelming to not only find out about what they are but also that you have a mate. It's insane that he's also the—"

"It's a lot, yeah. I'm still trying to figure it all out. I'm sure you know what it's like, though. I'm assuming that you're a human, right?"

She nods. "Yeah. Kind of."

"Are you and Eli—do you guys have the connection? Are you two bonded like I am to Adam?"

Elara's face falls. She lets out a soft breath and tucks her hair behind her ear. "No," she says simply.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things weird or anything."

"Eli and I aren't mates. We're just together, for now, I guess."

"For now?"

"Well, until he finds his mate," Elara clarifies with pain in her expression. She quickly wipes it away. "It's complicated. I'm actually a little jealous of you."

"Jealous of me?"

"You get to have that rare situation where you're a human mated to one of them. I wish I could be mated to Eli. Once he finds his mate, he won't care much about me anymore."

I swallow. "The connection really does that?"

"You've experienced it, Wrenley. You'd have to tell me. That's just what I've been told."

"Right. It's intense, I guess. I just can't believe that Eli could forget about you. I'm sure that's not true."

"I'm enjoying him while he's mine. That's all I can do. You should enjoy your bond—you're lucky to have it."

Heat spreads from my neck to my cheeks. "Enjoy it? I don't even know the guy. I just met him for the first time last week. Met him in his normal form, I mean."

"I'm sure you'll grow close. You won't be able to help it; Vivian told me that."

"I don't know. Part of me doesn't want to be forced into something while the other part could care less. I feel so torn. Sure, Adam is really something, but knowing that we're meant to be together like that is weird. It makes things awkward. I don't know how to approach him or talk to him or anything."

Elara watches me with a glimmer in her eye. "I'm sure it's uncomfortable at first. But don't you feel special? You get to experience this supernatural bond with something you didn't think existed. If I were you, I'd feel like the luckiest girl on earth."

Should I tell her that we likely won't be together? When I left Adam that day, it sure sounded like he was going to find a way to fix things, meaning cut the tie. It's for the best, I suppose. I'm a human. I have no place in their world, especially not as an Alpha's Luna. The feelings I already have toward him frighten me, so keeping our distance and avoiding the bond seems like a sturdy plan until he makes a decision. I wish I asked what the options were—I'm guessing which way to unmate each other.

The diner is slow today. I hang out behind the counter as my thoughts take me into oblivion. While playing with a stir stick, drawing invisible pictures on the counter, Laura comes up behind me. She places a coffee down and slides it over. "Here," she says. "Looks like you need it."

I glance to her and smile. "Thanks."

"What is it? School work? The family?"

"Some of everything," I murmur and take a sip.

"Need to take the day off tomorrow? Catch up on sleep?"

I shake my head. "I'll be fine."

Laura nods and tends to an elderly couple—the same elderly couple that comes in nearly every day. Whenever Laura waits on them, there's a sense of familiarity. I suppose after all their time spent here, they've grown close to the staff. I watch as she chats with them. I wonder if they've lived in Waindale their entire lives, growing old in such a magical place. Do they know about the wolves? Maybe they have their suspicions.

After dinner, I finish homework then get ready for bed. Coming into my bedroom from the bathroom, I tie my hair back and glance out the window. It's pitch black out there as usual. These past few days I can't help but check, just to make sure he's not there. Every time I can't help but wish he would be. Is it sad for me to sit at my window and wait for someone who may never come? Adam said that he can't help but succumb to me, so if I run into the woods and call his name, will he show up? It's desperate to consider such a thing. What if he's busy becoming an Alpha? What if he doesn't want to see me?

I reluctantly close my curtains and climb into bed.

Tonight I find myself at the academy. Wandering through empty hallways in search of him. I wander the halls until morning, never finding him or anyone, feeling abandoned and so very alone. When I wake in my bed, I feel tears trail down the sides of my face and into my hair. My chest is heavy and my limbs unmoving. Sunlight trickles through my curtains, and I feel an urge to open them and bathe my room in its cheerfulness.

I teeter on my feet and fall toward the window like a baby learning to walk. My hands grip the fabric and tug. Light shocks my eyes but wipes away the lurking sorrow from the room. I face the now bright space and take a breath. It was just a dream, Wrenley. It was just a stupid dream.

My mom and grandma are sat at the table when I enter the kitchen. They look to me and motion for me to sit down. I take the spot beside grandma, across from my mom and her coffee and her laptop.

"Tali's family is coming for dinner Saturday," she tells me. "I can't wait to see her again, see her family. It'll be nice to know people in this town."

"You would meet people if you got off that porch," Grandma says. "I'm going to the store today. Come with me. We can walk along the water. They have little shops and we can get lunch."

My mom nods in agreement while taking a gulp from her mug. She then turns to me. "Work today, right?"

"Yeah. Three till six."

"You still tired, Dear?" Grandma asks.

"Maybe I should take you to a doctor, Wren. These sleeping problems are starting to worry me."

I shake my head. "It's fine, really."

"There's a small clinic in town that I go to. Other than that there's the hospital. You know, the one that feeds into Benton, Coldgrove—it's a good place, I think."

"We can go to the clinic, see what they say. If that doesn't work we can go to the hospital, I suppose."

"I don't need a hospital, mom. I just have a hard time sleeping. It's not that big of a deal. I-I have to get ready for school."

"What about breakfast?" Grandma asks.

Up from the table and heading for my room, I call back that I can eat something on the way.

I have to see Adam. We have to unmate each other before my mom drags me to a doctor. The thought of unmating makes me sick, but it can't be any worse than the repercussions I'm feeling now. I quickly get dressed then step into my shoes. Grandma hands me a smoothie on my way out, making me feel guilty for being in a bad mood. All they want to do is help me, but I'm too busy being a grumpy jerk to say thank you.

Today I'll find him, one way or another.




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Happy Saturday and happy Fourth of July!
Almost forgot to update today...thank god I remembered.
See you Wednesday!

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