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"Don't tell me you'll still go back to him?"


I pressed my lips together as I wait for Cola's response, she's crying on my shoulders while we're sitting on a bench that's located on a hidden part of the school, Nicolai and her broke up that's why she's crying her heart out.. They've been together for months so I understand her feelings.


"Hindi ko kasi maintindihan, Ophe, bakit ang bilis para sa k-kaniya," mahina niyang tugon, I brought my handkerchief out and gave it to her, iyak siya nang iyak to the point na naubos na niya ang isang balot ng tissue na binigay ko sa kaniya.


"Hush.. " I whispered and caressed her head, I don't know what to say nor do! I've never been in love nor heartbroken before so all of this are new to me! I don't even know if there would be a point in my life where I'd fall deeply in love and cry, I never cried.


"H-hindi niya ba ako minahal?" She said in between her sobs, nanatili akong tahimik dahil hindi ko naman alam ang naging relasyon nila ng boyfriend niya and I have no plans on sticking my nose that deep, kung ano lang ang gusto niyang sabihin sa akin. "Kasi.. Kasi ako minahal ko s-siya," she weakly uttered and her shoulders kept on shaking.


We're teenagers.. Fifteen and sixteen year olds to be exact.. And her saying that she's in love is bewildering to my ears. Paano ka magmamahal sa ganito ka batang edad? I don't want to invalidate her feelings.. Baka kasi hindi ko pa lang nararanasan kaya hindi ko maintindihan.


Hindi ko lang kasi nakikita ang sarili.. I can't see myself loving someone at this young age, I don't even know what responsibilities I'm willing to take but, I'm sure I don't like to take anything anytime soon.


"Why don't you talk it out?" Tangi kong nasabi.


"He won't!" Her cries got louder which made me wince a bit.


"Then don't chase him," I murmured. "If he doesn't want to talk to you then don't, let it all go.. Huwag mong habulin, and in fact.. 'Di ba you're hunching that he's already courting Vi? E'di from there nga you should know na, na he's not the one, Cola," I reminded her but she just kept on shaking her head.


See.. This is why love at a very young age is so dangerous.. Pakiramdam natin katapusan na ng mundo kung mawawala sila sa atin.. But it's not.. Love is in-depth, mysterious, and works wonders pero dapat hindi nito pinaparamdam sa'tin 'yong ganitong sakit.. At this age our lives should revolve around building our dreams and passion.. Building ourselves.. Building who we really are and not chasing around love that's questionable if it's even genuine or not.


"Water, Coleen," sabay abot ng tubig ni Lucius kay Cola, he stood there and leaned on the wall, hands on his pockets and observing our surroundings he didn't say anything more.


"T-thank you," patuloy lang sa paghikbi si Cola habang umiinom ng tubig at hinahabol ang hininga, namamaga rin ang mga mata kaka-iyak.


"That's not love," matapang na sabi ni Light which made me glare  at him with so much irritation, pero hindi niya ako pinansin, akmang magsasalita pa ako pero bigla nalang nagsalita si Cola gamit ang ipit niyang boses, I know she's about to burst into tears any moment from now.


"How can y-you say that?" 


"Because love shouldn't hurt that much.. Hindi dapat tayo kinukunsumo ng pagmamahal," sigurado niyang sabi at umiling, tumalikod na at umalis.


I don't know but I couldn't agree more to his words, hindi naman kasi dapat ganito kasakit ang pagmamahal.. Hindi naman siguro dapat tayo sinasaktan at inuubos nang ganito ng pagmamahal, o baka hindi palang namin nararanasan magmahal ni Light.. I don't know.


But I know that love.. Love is the only great thing in life. And I have no plans in experiencing it.. Kasi pakiramdam ko 'yong ganitong pakiramdam ang sisira sa mga pangarap ko.


"Cola's done crying, huh," Light guessed, umuwi na si Cola dahil sa dysmenorrhea niya at wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi tumango sa sinasabi ni Light. "As she should, Nicolai isn't that great of a man anyway," I took my seat and rolled my eyes. "He's a player."


"Don't talk as if you're not," sarkastiko kong balik.


"I'm not."


"You're no longer one, but you used to be."


"Used to be, tapos na, Lettie."


"Okay," binaba ko ang tingin ko sa bag niyang nasa sahig, there's a rose and a couple of letters na nakikita ko, malapit na kasi mag-prom kaya siguro inaaya na naman siya ng mga admirers niya. He's very well-known now, after he won a regional filming competition, mas lalong naging matunog ang pangalan niya.


Although his name didn't escape so much labelling. The headlines of the newspapers and articles published online were pure insults to him.


"The son of La Carlota's Mayor, Lucius Sibal won the regional filming competition." As I recall one of the headline.. Sa online naman hindi maiwasan ang mga comment about him achieving that award but still being a black sheep of the political clan.


Our class started and everyone started to bring out their assignment in this subject habang si Light naman ay nanatili lang naka-upo at hindi gumagalaw, pinapanood niya lang din ang mga kaklase namin na ilabas ang mga bond paper na may lamang mga family pictures nila.


"Wala kang gawa?" I hesitantly asked, inipit ko sa folder ang gawa ko para hindi niya gaanong makita, though I still have to present it in front of the class.


"Meron," mahina niyang tugon.


"Ah," tangi kong nasabi.


Nanahimik na ako because I felt like he's not in the right mood to talk about his family, hindi talaga siguro sila okay, as per usual he doesn't talk about his family often.. Siguro dahil na rin sa sika tang pamilya niya at ayaw niyang amy lumabas na kung ano about them and he'll be put to blame, ayaw ko rin naman 'yon para sa kaniya.


"Yrreverre," tawag sa akin ng teacher, I stood up and took my paper, tinignan ko 'yona nd it's just a simple family portrait, it's Mommy in the middle, Ate Mich on her right and me on the left, si Daddy naman ang kasunod ko sa gilid at si Kuya August sa tabi ni Ate Mich.


"This is my family," malumanay kong sabi. "This is my mother, she's a businesswoman as most of you guys know and this is my sister, Darchelle, she's an engineering student, my brother, August, a business major student, and my Dad who is also a businessman and an agriculturist," simple kong dagdag, my teacher kept on asking for more information and I did nothing but to answer her question, sumunod na sa akin na pupunta sa harap is si Light.


I gave him a smile and he just lazily bobbed his head, tinignan ko ang kamay niya na may hawak na nakatupi sa gitna na papel. He stood in front and waited for our teacher to give him a que to start, I sat down and watched him open his paper, it's a picture of him and his family, it's familiar to me because I already saw that when I went to their house for his birthday.


"You may start now, Sibal."


"Yeah," he licked his lip and cleared his throat. "This is basically my family," walang gana niyang sabi. "This is my Mom," turo niy sa babaeng nasa gitna ng portrait, she's wearing a white elegant dress. "She's a licensed Dietician and also a businesswoman," he shrugged and his face changed when he pointed out I believe their family's firstborn.


"This is my older brother, Leighton," halatang wala wala siyang pakialam sa mga sinasabi niya ang he's just doing it for the sake of grades, I think he's aiming to have a good graduating grades because he's trying out for UPIF. "He studies medicine, or business, I'm not sure, sometimes I get their infos mixed in my head," he shrugged and pointed himself.


"Obviously, this is me," he then pointed Lennox and rolled his eyes. "This the middle child, Lennox, he studies medicine, or business, I don't know and I couldn't care any less, lastly, this is my father, the Mayor of La Carlota for years now, a politician at most," he finished his presentation and sat down beside, hindi na siya tinatanong pa nang mas masinsinan ng teacher naming because everyone knew that Light isn't open about his relationship about his family.


He doesn't even like being associated with the Mayor's name.


"Do you hate your family?" I asked out of the blue because I remembered how he talked about his family for the past few months, it's bitter and moody. He chuckled and crumpled the foil of his burger.


"Very much, yes," sagot niya nang walang pag-aalinlangan. "I'd love to leave everything behind, only if I could, I will," tinignan ko lang siya at hindi it seems to me that he doesn't even regret anything that he just said. "Kahit anong pwede kong maiwan dito, iiwan ko makatakas lang ako sa pamilyang 'yon," he sighed and took his leave.


Maybe I should ask him about how he feels.. It just hit me that mostly he's the one who's checking on me and I never asked him about how he's doing.. Maybe I should be vocal that I actually care about him.. I'd be that friend to him, one of these days. I pursed my lips and sighed.


Weeks became easy to conquer but Light still.. Wasn't ready to tell me his problems and that's okay and I totally respect that, dahil lahat naman siguro tayo may secrets, sa pamilya, sa sarili, sa ibang tao, and not all are supposed to be shared with others and that's okay.


Today is Wednesday, so it's my rest day, maaga akong umuwi dahil wala naman na akong extracurricular activities and I don't have the heart to attend this school match, malapit na kasing mag-prom so our faculty is quite busy with preparing for the event, and I'm busy designing my own gown, it excites me dahil binigay na nila sa amin ang theme for this year.. Pastel dream land.


I'm thinking of lavender and white flowers for my theme and some violets for some touch of colors but all will be dark, hindi naman ako ang gagawa ng dress ko because I only know the basics in sewing, tulad ng pagtatahi with hands and I can use the sewing machine already but my works are all for casual wears hindi ko pa kaya ang mga gown and I don't trust myself enough with my last gown for my whole highschool life.


I really can't grasp the fact na next year college na ako and nakakapanibago because I already received my school slip and it says.. College of Arts and Design.. It's no longer 'Saint Fiacre University-High School', I bit my longer lip and let go of my color pencil.


It will all be new next year, nakakatakot, nakakatakot na baka pagdating sa gitna hindi ko na pala kaya.. But this is my dream so I will conquer my fear and doubts. I haven't talked to Light about his plans and if nakapasok na ba siya sa UP it's all because I'm so scared of his answers, baka kasi aalis na nga siya and I'll lose a friend.


I haven't applied to Royal, yet, and my big break is yet to come pero I'm still young and growing, may mga taon pa ako para habulin ang mga pangarap ko, I know dancing is for me and even If it's not I will force myself into it.. Because designing, dancing, and pleasing the people around me are the only thing that matters for me.


I've never had a choice besides my college course and it's fine, it was my will to follow everything that my parents say, it might be sad but it'll be worth it.. Someday.


"Sana all nalang talaga ako sa mga promposal na 'yan," iritang sabi ni Cola na nakasabit na naman ang kamay sa braso ko, I pursed my lips and looked around, most of the girls are holding flowers and has a flower bracelet, binebenta kasi 'yon ng council as a formal invitation sa pagiging partners sa entrance ng prom.


I don't expect anyone to ask me out this year because even suitors I had none this year, hindi ko alam kung bakit and hindi ko rin naman mina-mind, it's peaceful, I'm fine with just Light and Cola as my accompanies.


"Weren't you crying abo—"


"Shh!" She covered my mouth with her hand which made me giggle. "Past is past, Yrreverre!" Suminghal siya at tinanggal na sa bibig ko ang kamay niya.


"Thought you'd never move on."


"Lalaki lang 'yon, umiiyak ako kasi bakit siya nakipag-break nang mapalit na mag-prom e'di wala akong partner at wala akong matatanggap na promposal this year!" She hissed and dragged me to our classroom, natatawa nalang ako pero kanina pa naman siya may-rose sa wrist, she received so many bracelets! Isa nga lang ang buong puso niyang tinanggap, 'yong kay Brixle, team captain ng volleyball team.


"Ako nga wala pang partner e," I joked.


"Huh?! Wala pang nagbibigay sa'yo?" I immediately shook my head, even one! Kahit isa na nag-aya, wala talaga!


"As in, zero!"


"Bakit?"


"I don't know, maybe they don't like me," I chuckled. "It's fine, kung sino nalang walang partner sa room."


"Sus, hindi ako makakapayag! Pero alam ko kung bakit walang nag-aaya sa'yo e, takot ba naman nila sa president ng FTA, hayaan mo na silang lahat, halika na pumasok na tayo," natigilan na kami at umupo na sa kanya-kaniyang upuan, si Light hindi ko pa nakikita ngayong araw, baka busy tumakas sa mga admirers niya.


Or maybe he's busy with other things, like setting up a surprise for his crush or something, ni hindi ko nga alam kung sino ang gusto niya, he doesn't open up to me, alam niya atang marami na naman akong sasabihin if papalit-palit lang siya ng babaeng iku-kwento. I don't like the fact that he treats girls' feelings as a trophy to win and to brag to everyone.


Hindi ka-proud-proud ang paglalaro sa nararamdaman ng iba, regardless of your intent or past, hindi 'yon reason to play with everyone else's feeling.                


"Hi," tinignan ko si Light at bahagyang nginitian, he looks smug but that's his usual look, hindi ko na pinakialaman pa.


"Hello, it's a miracle, ngayon lang kita nakita," I took out my notebook and readied my pen, inilapag niya ang lunch bag sa table ko but I refused. "Later na, Light."


"Check the food if it's good."


"Even if it's not, I'll still eat it, Lucius."


"Please?" I sighed and looked in front, wala pa namang teacher so I don't find anything wrong about it. I took the bad and opened it, may box doon na nagpakunot sa noo ko.


"What's this? Is this from a—"


"Just see for yourself, Lettie," tinignan ko siya at marahang nilabas ang box.


My brows almost knitted because I can't figure out what's with the brown box, may black ribbon and gold embroideries ng pangalan ko 'Lizette', doon sa ribbon, I looked at him but he was just cool about it, inangatan niya pa ako ng kilay at winawagayway ang hands niya, a sign for me to continue.


"Takeout food ba 'to, Sibal?"


"Kailan naman kita dinalhan ng takeout food? I always cook for you, Lettie."


"Then what is this nga?"


"Open it nga," he mocked me. I just rolled my eyes and detangled the ribbon, dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang box and it revealed a glassed rose.. My jaw dropped as it resembled the beauty and the beast one! Tinignan ko siya and he was just all smiles.


He extended his arm and turned something on. It made the fairy lights turn on, my eyes sparkled because amusement ang galing! I only saw these online! May isa pa siyang pinindot and that button made the glassed rose played music, it's playing beauty and the beast! "Why?"  Tangi kong nasabi.


"You said your favorite Disney movie is.. Beauty and the Beast, right?" He squinted his eyes and angled his head a bit. "Right? We watched it once sa call," my heart almost skipped a beat when he remembered what I said.


We watched that movie together sa share screen ng call and I didn't expect him to remember it dahil he doesn't seem the type to remember small details.. "Is it pretty? I hope.. I hope you like it.. "


"I.. " I gulped and rubbed the sides of the glass. "I love it."


"I'm glad you did," mahina niyang sabi. "I didn't know what to give you on valentine's day.. I don't give gifts and do all these.. So," he groaned a bit and reached in his pockets, tinignan ko ang galaw ng kamay niya at nilabas ang isang box na kulay puti, he opened it in front of me and I just gulped.


My lips slightly parted when he successfully opened the box, a bracelet. "Wha.. What are these for?" Mahinahon kong tanong. 


"Hmm.. Promposal? Although I'm not so sure if this is how it works.. " He nibbled with his lower lips and removed the bracelet from the box, inilapag niya ang lalagyan sa desk niya at marahang kinuha ang wrist ko na ang liit tignan sa kamay niya. The bracelet has charms that I'm not so sure of kung ano, hindi ko na rin napagtuonan ng pansin because I'm so focused on his soft hands.


His sweaty and delicate hands. "May I?" He caught my gaze and asked if he can put the bracelet on my wrist, I gulped and nodded slowly, while the Beauty and the Beast song was playing on the background. My heart is pounding weirdly as I stare at him while he softly fix the bracelet still on my wrist. "We can still add charms, but those are the charms that reminds me of you.. Our friendship, so yeah.. " Nanatili lang akong tahimik, I bit the inside of my lips and watched him recline on his seat.


"A-Are you asking me.. Out?" I asked in a shy manner, he just chuckled and damped his lower lip, lumingon siya sa gilid at agad kong nakita ang mga hikaw niya, he gulped which made his visible adam's apple move, when he goes to Manila.. For sure he'll be scouted for some modelling agency, if not, magiging heartthrob, higit pa siguro kung paano ang mga tao rito sa La Carlota.


"Lettie.. You're really dense," mahina niyang saad, I furrowed my brow and looked at my wrist, it suits me well.. "Okay, Lettie," agad niyang nabawi ang aking atensyon kaya naman tinignan ko siya, mata sa mata, he leaned closer to me and angled his head a bit. "Will you be my last prom date?" I pressed my lips against each other and gulped repeatedly, I don't know why but I'm shaking. 


"O-Okay.. " I answered nervously.


"Sure?"


"Sure.. " His victorious smile peeked through which made me smile as well, I'm sure is excited with this event.. Our last prom as a highschool student.


"Prom it is," he snickered and took out the pink lunch box. 


And today is the day, while wearing my lavender gown I looked outside the window and watched my car stop in front of the hotel where our school's prom is being held. I'm consistently playing with my bracelet which Light gave me and smiled to myself, kita ko ang haba ng pila sa entrance ng hotel and students from our batch are entering the events place already. Tinignan ko ang phone ko at wala namang messages sila Cola sa akin, for sure hindi pa 'yon nakakarating. 


"Message mo lang ako, 'pag ika'y

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