WHEN THE SECRET COMES OUT

*

With one more minute on the clock, Alexis already packs her things in her bag to get ready to go home. She's been dying to take a nap since the first class. She hasn't slept over the weekend and regrets that choice to the fullest. Once the bell rings, Alexis is the first to leave class. She hasn't eaten as well and is craving something good. Not just regular bread, something tasty.

ASH [15:26]

ALEX [15:37]
you're the best

The moment she walks outside, she gets greeted by the rays of the sun. For just a moment, she takes it in and closes her eyes. She loves the sun, wearing dresses, and everything that comes along with that. Cute, little dates with friends, having ice cream with friends, enjoying a day on the beach. Mostly, she loves spontaneous picnics. She was reading a book with some good food and company.

"You good?" Alexis turns around to find her roommate with a worried expression on his face. The girl nods and sends him a smile.

"I was just enjoying the sun," she explains. "Also, I have to work tonight." Ashton frowns; she never works on weekdays. "Someone is sick and asked me to work for them."

"You know you don't have to worry about mo-"

"Don't even finish the sentence." She says, which makes him chuckle. He knows how badly she likes to be financially stable. She always has been, in her opinion, though. She got around from the money she got; she could buy her own clothes, and that all from night shifts during the week. She made a shit ton of money back at that job. But combined with the hours she made, it was a reasonable salary.

"By the way, since the last game got canceled, they rescheduled it. It's tomorrow at eight." A smile pops up on her face. Ashton notices the sparkles in her eyes, and he's not sure whether she loves the game or loves to see them play.

"I'll be there, but you've gotta take me there." He chuckles about the words but nods eventually.

"Sounds like a deal, Al." He says, leading the girl toward his car by placing a hand on her lower back. As they step into his vehicle, Alexis looks at him, trying to see whether he's also hungry. How she can see that is the question. Well, she worked in a restaurant for years, and she learned to observe faces. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He laughs, driving away from the parking spaces. 

"Can we go eat somewhere?" She asks. 

"Like a date?" Alexis is a bit taken ahead by the sudden comment and can't comprehend to form a typical sentence, not even a no. "I'm kidding," he laughs. "You should have seen your face. Is the idea of a date with me so bad?" 

"No, no, no, no, n-," she tries, but she quickly gets interrupted by Ashton's laughter. 

"I am messing with you, Alex." He chuckles. "Your reaction was just too funny." Something suddenly occupies her mind, back at the party, the beautiful redhead. 

"Didn't it work out with Elle?" She asks. He shakes his head. 

"Apparently, she has a boyfriend and cheated on him with me." He explains. "And I'm not sure whether you guys are friends, but I don't want a girl who cheats when she's had some alcohol." 

"Oh, I'm sorry. If I knew, I wouldn't have done such a thing." He shakes his head at the comment she makes. Her hand moves towards the radio, and she takes a quick glance at her nails. She never really did her nails, but she wants to do them sometime. It always looks so pretty. 

"What do you say about some bagels?" Ashton proposes, changing the subject once the radio gets turned on. "I mean, you're not allergic, are you?"

"I'm not allergic to bagels," she chuckles. "Bagels it is." As they drive around town to find the place to eat the bagels, Ashton keeps on bragging about how good they are. Sure, Alexis believes him. I mean, who brags about bagels for a solid ten minutes?

As they finally sit at a table and have ordered some drinks, Ashton plays with the straw of his drink. It almost appears like he's hesitant to bring something up. Alex takes another sip of her drink and notices how his behavior hasn't changed. 

"What's up? You know you can talk to me." She says softly, placing a hand on his to bring comfort. "And it's also fine if you don't want to talk about it. Then we'll talk about something else." 

"No, it's just... I have never really seen you with somebody. And I swear I'm not hitting on you; I'm just curious." He says. "And it's not like I've been watching you because it definitely sounds like it. More like I've never seen you with anyone other than Michael." He closes his eyes in the agony of his own words. 

"That's because there hasn't been anyone," she silently admits. "I've tried, but I couldn't." He can tell her voice is silently breaking with every second she speaks. He believes there's more going on in her dating life. The switch in her mood is too apparent. This might be something they're going to talk about, but only whenever she wants at a place she feels comfortable in. 

"The bagels," Ashton smiles brightly. "God, I love fucking bagels." 

"I've never heard anyone say they love fucking bagels, but you do you," she giggles. 

After the two of them ate several bagels - with one not being enough for them - they're finally back at their place. They don't really have anything to do. Once they're lying on the couch, both checking their phones. 

"By the way, Luke's coming over later," he informs the girl. She doesn't hate him as much, but there's just something about him. Whenever they are alone, he seems so... tolerable. "Okay, I'm sorry I've got to ask." Alexis sits up and looks at him. "What is it with you and relationships? I've never seen you with anyone, and you seemed very distant when I asked." 

"It's a long story," Alexis says. "And once I tell you the full story, you will only pity me, and I'm not sure whether I can do that." He frowns at her words. "Not even Michael knows." She sighs. "He never noticed and-"

"It's okay," Ashton says. "I just want to understand, but if you don't feel comfortable telling me, please don't." She smiles weakly at him. She never really had someone she could talk to about this. Of course, she could talk to Michael, but Michael... There's just something about it. 

If she tells Michael now, he would be so mad for telling him this so late. Even though there's some rage, the thing has no use. He can't be angry at something that happened. He wasn't the one going through it; she was. Somehow, he'd get mad. Maybe a little for what happened, but mostly because she never told him. He would be the victim in a story where he was never a character in the first place. 

Once Alexis blinks and looks around, she notices that Luke is also in the room. She hasn't even heard him coming in. She's also unsure whether she can talk about this with him. Luke has said so many things about her and her being a virgin; she's uncertain if he will use this story against her someday.

"Did I interrupt something?" Luke questions, a bottle of water in his hand. Ashton nods while Alexis shrugs her shoulders. She wants to get the weight off so severely. Someone asked, and someone noticed. "I mean, I can go and come back if it's serious?" Both their faces turn toward the brunette. Her gaze is locked on the floor, counting the countless pieces of dust. 

"You can stay here if you'll never use this against me," she says, still looking at the floor. A frown grows on Luke's face. She seems so vulnerable. "Because if you do, you're dead to me." 

"Understood, Finley." He says, sitting down. 

"Promise me," she says, looking up at the guy. Her hands are becoming shaky from being so tense about telling the story. But she's come to a point where she can talk about it, hopefully, without further judgment. Maybe talking about it will take the edge off. 

"I promise," he says, looking into her green eyes. She holds up her pinky. His expression changes. She can't be serious. Her eyes stay focused on his. With a big sigh, he hooks his pink through hers. 

She pulls back her hand immediately. Her hands fidget together, playing with her nails as she does so. 

"This same thing applies to you," she says, looking at Ashton. "I'm sorry if this just seems like a lot, I've never talked about it outside therapy." Luke's face turns. He has no clue what he has walked into and what he promised. He promised not to use it against her, but still, he has no information about the promise. Yet, he can't deny that he's curious.

"You had therapy?" Luke asks her. She always seems so happy. Yes, they've been buggering one another, but Luke never saw her as the therapy kind of girl. More like the; let's dance it out and call it a day kind of girl.

"Yes," she says. "However..." Her head drops in her hands. She never realized how hard this would be. "Okay, I will try to make this short because I don't know where to start and how to say this all." 

"Of course, take your time." Ashton smiles at her. 

"So, I grew up with my mom being a drunk. She and my dad fought all the time. She abused me when I was little. Eventually, my dad moved out and never told me that he was. While he was living somewhere else, the abuse never stopped. It started verbal, but it grew physical really fast." She says, pulling her knees to her chest and holding them tightly. "Both of them didn't know that my uncle touched me. He used to come around every week on the same day. Almost as if it were a ritual." 

There are tears behind her eyes, and her eyes are burning like crazy. She has to choke back a breath, hoping her voice won't crack. 

"Back when my dad still lived with us, he fought with my mom. He saw how she treated me and was done with it. I shouldn't have to be a victim of what she does." A painful smile covers her face. "But the fights were a lot, and I went to my room when they did. My uncle always talked to me; he was my favorite person. I grew up thinking that love was being hurt." 

Ashton's heart breaks for the girl. He can't imagine what she went through, and the story isn't even finished. Luke looks at Ashton, and both have difficulty finding the right words. Luckily, talking is overrated sometimes. 

"It started with comfort words until he touched me." She swallows thickly and looks at the ceiling. "And after that, it turned into... He raped me every week. Once I spoke up about it, my dad was already gone. Nobody believed me. So, I called the police, and eventually, my mom got sent to rehab to go to jail after for child abuse, and my uncle was in jail." 

"Was?" Ashton asks, confused. Luke's eyes widen, and a soft gasp is hearable. It can't be.

"Your uncle..." Luke starts. "Was that the guy outside the restaurant?" The confusion on Ashton's face grows bigger, yet Alexis nods. 

"He was in jail, but he didn't get a life sentence since the system is fucked up. He showed good behavior and got out even sooner." She speaks. 

"But where was your dad when all of this happened?" Ashton asks. "Because he left; why didn't he take you with him?" 

"As far as I recall, he just wanted to escape the situation. If he took me with him, he would never escape it. But he's dead now." Alexis takes a deep breath. "So, that means I have some trust issues. I may appear like everything's fine or that nothing's going on, but I'm managing. Relationships are tough for me since that's a lot of trust in every aspect." 

"Jesus, Finley," Luke breathes, raking his hand through his hair. He's trying to keep himself together. The story of their parents is somewhat the same. First, they didn't know, and now they do. At least, Luke knows. "I knew my life was fucked up, but you just topped it." A chuckle falls off her lips. The bad - and way too soon - joke caused the tension in the air to fade a little. 

"But you said you never talked to anyone about this?" Luke questions. Alexis nods her head, blinking the tears that formed in her eyes away. "So Clifford doesn't know?" She shakes her head again. "Why's that?"

"He would be so mad," she mumbles. "He will act like a victim for telling him so late." 

"So you know he's a manipulative piece of shit?" Ashton asks her. She is a bit taken aback by what Ashton said. Usually, she'd have a reaction. Just anything to defend her best friend. But now that she's thinking about it even more, he's not that wrong. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You guys are still friends." 

"It's okay. You don't have to like everybody." She smiles weakly at him. 

"Can I just ask one thing?" Luke asks. 

"You just did," Alexis says. 

"You're so funny." He says, forcing a painful smile through his lips, not finding her funny at all. "I suppose you also have some issues with people touching you." She nods; she really can't trust her voice. "Why did you let me? We fucking cuddled, and you never said a thing about it." 

She shrugs her shoulders. "It was comfy," she says. 

It's the truth, but a lie is also hiding there. 

It wasn't just comfortable. It felt like coming home. 

*

Long time no see, lmao, i have been quite busy so hopefully you'll forgive me. however, i hope you liked it!! 

loads of love, 
rosa x