I was already crying by the time Austin pulled the car over at the airport to let me out. I bent my head and wiped at the tears as I tried my best to get myself together. They'd already noticed my tears, so I wasn't worried about that. I just didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention inside the terminal.

But the tears just kept coming because the unknown was scary, and even though we had somewhat of a plan, I was worried. Worried that something would happen to them, or that we'd lose touch all over again.

I didn't want to leave.

And I didn't want them to leave.

Alex had taken pity on us as we drove. He set up an online account we could share. That way, we could type notes to each other like we shared an assignment in high school. I knew it was as a security for me, in case something happened to them and Austin had to change his phone number again, or something like that. As much as I appreciated it, it also scared the shit out of me. I didn't want to think about everything that could potentially happen to him in Kansas. Or on the way there.

And not just to Austin, but to Alex and Bear, too.

Knowing Austin wasn't totally disappearing out of my life again helped, but it was still heartbreaking to see him leave. For a couple of days, I'd gotten to experience what my happily ever after could feel like.

Austin got out of the car and pulled a baseball hat down low over his forehead. Alex was on lookout and that no longer felt strange, which was very weird. It had only been a couple of days, but it had become routine for me to wait until they deemed things safe. When he gave me a subtle nod, I stepped out of the car and walked towards the trunk where Austin was, while I wondered if I'd be looking over my shoulder once I got back to Georgia?

Austin got my luggage out of the back for me and had to reprimand Bear, who tried to sneak out of the car. I giggled and cried at the same time because he looked so offended when he was told to stay in the car.

The tears just kept coming, no matter how hard I tried to stop them.

I wasn't ready to let him go.

"Babe," Austin said with a sigh and wrapped his arms around me.

There was nothing either of us could say that would make the situation better, so I just buried my face in his shoulder and let go. I cried as he held me tight against him and placed soft kisses on my head.

"Promise," I choked out.

He knew what I meant. It was me begging him to stay in touch.

"I promise."

The sincere look in his deep brown eyes told me he would. I leaned forward, closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his, hoping it wasn't for the last time. Then I turned and walked straight into the departure hall with tears streaming down my face. And I no longer cared that I looked like a mess with red, swollen eyes. 

Until that point, the hardest day in my life had been when I found out Austin had disappeared, ten years earlier. But walking away from him at Boston's airport was worse. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.