•revised 10/28 2021•

"Care to tell me why you dragged me out of my seat?"

"I didn't...drag you," Namjoon pouted as he drove, one hand on the wheel while the other held Jungkook's hand. "I just quickly rushed you out. That's all."

"Yeah. While I was eating my food," Jungkook stated, pulling his hand away and folding his arms.

Namjoon glanced at him with uncertainty then inhaled, strumming fingers against the steering wheel. "No reason." He tilted his head to the side and brought up one hand, chewing at his cuticles. "No important reason, to be exact."

"Ah, so you just have a thing for pulling people wherever you desire?" Jungkook asked, a little bit of attitude lingering in his tone. "Seriously, Joon. I was enjoying myself."

Namjoon gave him a look and sighed, paying attention to the road ahead of them. "My body reacted without me telling it to. I saw someone who looked...a bit familiar. But I doubt it was actually them." Namjoon clenched his jaw. "You...you didn't talk to anyone at the party, did you?"

"The one a few weeks ago?" Jungkook questioned, remembering his, thought to be dead, ex lover that spoke to him. "No. Why?"

"I'm just paranoid, that's it," Namjoon excused, a sigh leaving him. "I keep feeling like someone's watching me. No, not even me. I feel like someone's always watching you. I get the same feeling only when I'm with you."

Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about Taehyung's words. 'Don't talk about it. To anyone. Or else they'll know. They'll find you.' He ran his hands up and down his arms with a shudder. "It's probably paranoia from us knowing Jackson's here. That's all."

"Yeah...yeah, you're right." Namjoon exhaled deeply and looked over at Jungkook, a grin appearing on his face as he set a hand on his knee. "Thanks for dealing with me these past few days. I know I've been acting weird. I just...I've been trying to make sure you're relaxed and okay."

Because you know I saw what was on your computer? "Is this about me fainting?" Jungkook asked with an annoyed look. "When we were in your studio? Because I'm fine. Like I said, I don't know what overcame me." A sickening realization came over me. Namjoon seemed hesitant to answer, like he knew Jungkook knew what the answer was.

"Yyyyyyyes.....I just- I want to make sure you're okay...after seeing—" Namjoon but his tongue as a jungkook flicked his eyes over to look at him. "After seeing Jackson and what not...you've been tense since." Jungkook rolled his eyes at the older as Namjoon continued to speak. "I just want you to enjoy yourself."

Then come out and explain yourself before I grow the balls to confront you about it. Jungkook hummed, placing a hand over Namjoon's. "I have a great time as long as you're having a great time, Joonie...Don't stress yourself out with looking out for me, I'm fine." Jungkook folded his arms again and frowned. "Worry about other things. I'm a grown man now, I can take care of myself."

"...yeah, I know," Namjoon sighed, leaning back as he drove the two to their hotel. "I just...have this gut feeling something else is wrong."

Yeah. No kidding Jungkook thought as he looked out of his window.

Ever since Jungkook fainted a week or so ago, Namjoon had been treating him like some old porcelain doll. His excuse was that it was because he fainted, but Jungkook knew the real reason behind Namjoon's paranoia. He knew Jungkook had seen what was on his computer. But neither of them spoke of it. Jungkook couldn't utter the courage to confront the other, and Namjoon was in denial. 

Since that day, Jungkook hadn't gone into Namjoon's studio, not wanting to remember the haunting images and words on that damned computer. He regretted ever looking. He regretted being nosy. Do you really regret it, though?

Once the car came to a stop, Namjoon got out and scurried to Jungkook's door, opening it for him. Jungkook smiled and got out, looking at the big hotel Namjoon had suggested they stayed at, which they had been at for two days.

The two walked into the hotel, being greeted by the man at the counter who waved at them. Jungkook bowed and followed Namjoon. The older abruptly stopped and looked to the side, pointing at a darkened room a bit past the lobby. "We haven't checked out their little planetarium yet, have we?"

Jungkook shook his head and followed his gaze. Namjoon turned and gently took Jungkook's hand, leading him towards the room. "You like stars, right?"

"Of course I do," Jungkook muttered. "I grew up with Jin. How could I not after listening to him go on and on about the galaxy for years."

Namjoon chuckled and nodded his head as they entered the dimly lit room, small consoles dedicated to other galaxies and solar systems lining the wall. "Yeah..." Namjoon replied as I walked towards a wall that had a pink light pointed at it. Small stars and facts about the stars and planets were plastered to the wall. "Jin sure loved anything related to the sky."

Jungkook walked to Namjoon's side and nodded. "Yeah..." Jungkook looked to the side at one of the hologram solar systems, watching as the planets slowly rotated. "How...long did you and Jin know each other?"

"Huh?"

"We've never really...talked about your past with Jin. I know you two had known each other longer than you've known me. But I don't know how you two met, or how long you guys were...acquainted."

Namjoon's eyes narrowed as a sad smile grew on his face, fingers coming up to run across the wall. "Jin and I met when we were young. I was probably 7 when I met him. Our parents made us play together because we were the only kids in our neighborhood. Elderly people populated the area we lived in, so no one else had kids as young as us."

"Have you guys always been friends?"

Namjoon let out a hurt laugh. "No. Jin actually really hated me. He always called me an annoying kid. But we got close the older we got." Another laugh, one more uplifting, left Namjoon. "He'd always aske me to sneak out despite how young we were. And we'd sit on the playground, and he'd tell me everything there was to know about the stars, constellations...all of that. Whenever I went out of town, he was always so pushy and adamant that I hurried so he wasn't left alone. We were inseparable..."

Jungkook studied Namjoon's body language, seeing his hurt smile slowly disappear, eyes saddening and brows furrowing in a painful manner. Jungkook folded his arms and bit his bottom lip, slightly leaning against Namjoon as he stared at the wall. "What...what happened between you two?"

Namjoon was silent for a few moments before he allowed his eyes to close, hand falling from the wall. "I hurt Jin. In a way that scarred him. I don't even know why I did what I did. I felt the same, and everything was reciprocated."

Jungkook's brows lifted. "Reciprocated...He confessed to you?"

"As surprising as that sounds." Namjoon reopened his eyes. "Things after that were never the same between us. I thought we'd be able to work through it. To get over the pain. But neither of us could let it go. Being so young, my jealousy over every man he was with made me snappy and hold it against him. And his hurt only got stronger until..." Namjoon sighed, shaking his head. "Until he was done with me. Our friendship. The end of it was entirely my fault. And I've owned up to it."

He looked over at Jungkook. "That's why I never snapped at him for being so rude to me. Because I knew I deserved it. He had every right to treat me the way he did whenever you were around."

Jungkook stared at Namjoon with big eyes, honestly surprised by the information Namjoon had given him. Jin really was his first love, and that love had really lasted all these years. Some would say it was karma that made Namjoon so attached to Jin, even in that moment. But, to Jungkook, he saw it as Namjoon never being able to properly apologize to Jin. And Joon knew that Jin died never having received that heartfelt apology.

It was clear why the guilt had stuck with him for so long.

Namjoon cleared his throat and grinned at the younger, nudging him with his shoulder. "I think I'm going to hang down here for a moment. If you want, you can head up to the room."

Jungkook stared at him for a moment before nodding. He didn't see any reason to stay with Namjoon while he probably reminisced in memories of the past. He set a hand on Namjoon's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "Don't be too long, kay?"

Namjoon nodded, eyes moving back to the wall. Jungkook pulled away and made his way to the elevator. He pressed the button and waited for it to go down to him. While waiting, he thought back to Namjoon's words. Even though Namjoon was the one who told him to leave everything, including past feelings, back in Korea, he seemed to be the one mourning over them. Of course Jungkook missed Jin, and had his own share of apologies he wished he had time to tell the other, but his thoughts never thought about the other. Not the way Namjoon did.

Not every second of every day.

The ding startled Jungkook and he stepped into the elevator, pressing the button to his floor and folding his arm, leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, trying to finally process the past few weeks. Seeing Jackson, seeing Taehyung, the words he spoke, the secrets Namjoon hid from him. What did it all mean? Why now of all times?

Of course, Jungkook always feared that Daehyun would find him, but he never imagined he'd send people to find him. He knew there was no contract or deal between the two that would keep him and Namjoon safe. Part of him wished he could've made a deal with him before moving to another country, to ensure a peaceful life. But neither him or Namjoon dared to go anywhere near that territory.

It was haunting. To both of them.

"Why was he hiding all of that?" He questioned himself aloud. "And why has the brought it up? He knows I know. He knows what I saw. But he hasn't...mentioned anything." Jungkook ran his hands over his face. "Red flags are all around you, and you're not listening to them..."

Another ding caught Jungkook's attention and he pushed from the wall, exiting the elevator and making his way to the room, which was one of the best suites there was. In all honesty, it made Jungkook's jaw drop every time he saw the inside. It was breathtaking. Not once did his young, poor self think he'd ever stay in something so luxurious and expensive.

Even so, the dream come true couldn't ease his stomach and nerves. A somewhat...guilt always lingering.

Times really do change.

Jungkook sighed contently as he removed his jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack as one hand continued to travel lower, gripping his belt and unbuckling it. He stripped down to his boxers before slipping on a loose white shirt and basketball shorts. As he tugged down the shirt he wore, he stopped in front of the mirror, lifting his shirt up more to see the wound on his skin. I don't know why we never took this out. Maybe we can still do it despite it being healed over after 5 years?

He ran his finger over the spot the bullet was lodged into, feeling how sensitive it still was. Memories came rushing back to that confusing night. The night where he made a choice, one he wasn't even certain of. Where his world collided with V's. The idol world.

Such a mysterious world to him, even now.

He tugged his shirt back down and huffed, looking over his shoulder as he heard the sound of the door. Namjoon rounded the corner and smiled at the younger, nodding to him as he removed his suit jacket. "I am sorry about ruining your meal," he started, hanging up the jacket. "If you want I can order you something."

Jungkook shook his head as he watched the other undress and pulled on sweats. "No, I'm fine. Not really hungry anymore," he stated, watching Namjoon get on to the bed. He glanced at Jungkook and patted the spot next to him. He smirked and ran to the bed, jumping on it and causing Namjoon to almost fall off.

Jungkook rolled onto his back and laughed softly, his giggles catching Namjoon's attention. Joon chuckled and quickly grabbed onto Jungkook, straddling the younger and tickling him.

"H-Hey! No fair!" Jungkook struggled, squirming and kicking, unable to move from beneath the older. Namjoon's hands moved relentlessly across his body, slipping beneath his shirt, fingertips ghosting over his paler body.

Namjoon leaned over and pecked his nose before moving his arms to wrap around his body to hug him tightly. "You're too ticklish. What was I supposed to do, it was a great opportunity."

"You're also, like, ten times bigger then me. You'll crush me one day!" Jungkook laughed, relaxing in the older's arms.

"Yeah, yeah. I doubt that." A soft breath left Namjoon and he stayed with his arms wrapped around Jungkook. Jungkook maneuvered his arms to wrap around Namjoon's waist, hands gently rubbing his back. "Kook?"

"Yeah?" Jungkook whispered.

"I do want to make this work. I want to make you happy."

"I know."

Namjoon sat up to stare down into Jungkook's eyes. "I'll always be here. Okay?"

"Okay." Jungkook scrunched your his nose as Namjoon gave it a soft peck. "Are you okay?"

"I'm as good as I can be," Namjoon replied, rolling off of Jungkook and laying on his back. "

Jungkook slipped beneath the covers, Namjoon soon following his and wrapping his arms around him again. He pressed his nose to Jungkook's dark hair and inhaled deeply. "Kook," he whispered softly. "I'd do anything in my power to keep you safe. And out of harms way...Some choices I make may seem odd, or random. But I only do it to keep you safe."

Jungkook shuffled in his spot and glanced up at the older man hugging him. A questioning gaze took its place. "I know," Jungkook spoke softly.

"Everything I do, I do for a reason. And I'm trying...to be comfortable about talking about it. But...I've never been good at explaining why I do something in a relationship. Not with you...with him... My mind has such a hard time opening up to people I love."

Jungkook stayed still, not knowing how to respond to Namjoon's tired words. Maybe he was drifting off to sleep while trying to keep the conversation going. He just nodded his head, trying to get comfortable against Namjoon's body heat.

"If my work ends up getting in the way of our relationship, I'll leave it behind. I don't want to lose you, too. I'll quit it if I have to, so I can focus on protecting you..."

"Namjoon," Jungkook hissed, coming off ruder than he meant. "Quitting your job isn't necessary. Really...you've protected me for this long, right? Nothings going to happen to us. We're fine, okay? Just—I need to know that you'll be honest with me. With everything. Don't hide things from me because you might get scared of how I react—"

"You say it as if you've discovered something already..."

Jungkook's lips smacked shut and he stared into Namjoon's eyes, letting the silent engulf the two for some moments, feeling heat rise to his face. The look in Namjoon's eyes said enough. He wanted Jungkook to say it. For him to admit what he saw in that screen in those minutes he was alone.

The look was almost...begging. Does he know he'd never be able to tell me himself? Is he...counting on me to start the conversation regarding that? Jungkook shook his head with a sigh.

Not yet.

This wasn't the time. Not this late.

"The point is," he said, trying to divert the subject, "is that I'm happy with how things are. People...everyone has secrets, and they're for a reason. Just like I have mine, you have yours. I just want pure honesty from now. That's all I ask..."

Namjoon stared at him until his gaze softened and he nodded, closing his eyes for a moment. "Okay. I promise I'll be honest from now on." He reopened his eyes. "I want to protect you from the past. I do...and if secrets aren't the way to go...I'll do it in a way that won't include any."

Jungkook stared into Namjoon's eyes and he nodded, watching as the older picked up one of Jungkook's hands, fingers playing with each other. "You know..." he started before he singled out Jungkook's ring finger with a kiss. "There is one way...I can guarantee you'll be okay. From the past. From them."

Jungkook blushed at Namjoon and watched as his tired eyes stared at his finger, sliding down to the base and holding it in place. From his body language, Jungkook already knew what Namjoon was going to bring up. He had been for the past year, and it surprised Jungkook.

He didn't take Namjoon as a man who really wanted to get married. It wasn't even like they spoke about it every now and then, no. Namjoon came home in a hurry one day and 'casually' brought up the idea. His reasoning for it was that he just thought it was time for them, and that he wanted to properly make Jungkook his. And to properly ensure his safety.

"If we do get married, it'll guarantee your safety...I promise you that. As your husband...your life is my priority. And it'll stay in a permanent peace. Nothing will be able to hurt you. If you become Kim Jungkook..."

It was such an out of place statement.

Namjoon lifted Jungkook's hand up and kissed the back of it. His lips moved and he kissed every knuckle, stopping at his ring finger again. "I'll stop asking if you tell me you don't want me to bring it up anymore. It's just...the only way I know how to guarantee you'll be okay."

"How is that suppose to guarantee my safety?" Jungkook hummed softly, moving his hand to cup Namjoon's cheek.

"They won't hurt you if you're not a Jeon."

Jungkook silently choked on his words, unable to find a response to such a weird reply. What is that supposed to mean? He bit back a concerned frown, letting his hand fall from Namjoon's face and to his hand, holding it between them. "You asking is growing on me."

The younger smiled up at the bigger. "I was surprised when you first asked me. It caught me off guard, but now? It sounds..." Kim Jungkook. It sounds nice. "...nice." Only because you're thinking of him. "Maybe it is time we get married. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't really..." Jungkook nuzzled his head into the pillow. "I wouldn't really mind...."

"It's not fun to tease me, Kook." Namjoon closed his on eyes, letting go of Jungkook's hand. "I'm being serious."

Jungkook blinked up at him with his doe eyes. Think this through, Jungkook. "I'm not teasing you. I mean it." Maybe this is how I'll finally move on.

Realization slowly spread across Namjoon's face as he opened his eyes, his smile slipping and eyes widening, brows raised high. Jungkook could tell he caught him off guard. It was obvious Namjoon wasn't expecting Jungkook to