I was still taking in Austin's confession as I walked through the silent hallways of the college.

I didn't have to go to the studio today. It was the day before christmas. Christmas Eve. I didn't want to go either.

Austin had ran back to his classes after we had softly kissed in the middle of the field. I had gently pulled away first. His eyes had shot guilt through me. They were filled with much adoration.

But unlike Brady, who had passion in his eyes, Austin just had extreme joy in it.

Passion? Since when?

Why do you overthink things Lia? You just want to think that.

It was a bad habit of mine. Thinking too much. It's why I loved to escape. To not think. To disappear and make everything else vanish.

It's what I so desperately wanted to do right now.

So, I was heading to the music hall of the campus. It was usually always empty. 

I knew it would also be empty today. Most of the students would probably be having fun out somewhere on this special day.

And, here I was, crawling towards my escape from life with an ache in my chest. Or rather, a big gunshot hole.

Everything was too much. Everything was crumbling. I thought I had built a good thing. I thought I had saved myself.

 But instead, I might as well hurt the guy who really loved me.

The heart is a difficult thing. 

We sometimes try to change what it wants. But we never can.

The heart wants what it wants.

When I pushed the wooden double doors of the music hall slightly open, I heard the quiet playing of the guitar. It was a soft melody, tinged with sadness and desperation. It echoed through the room and I closed my eyes. The tune floated around me like it was the only air that existed. There was something so familiar in it.

But then, all music seemed familiar. It was my language. I understood it.

I could tell the person playing this was in the depths of despair.

Dramatic too much? Yeah.

Really though, this person was hella sad. Music told everything a human being cannot. I knew it.

I entered the room, prepared to see some random person crying with a guitar in their hands.

Instead, I saw a dark haired boy, sitting by the window with his face hidden in the sunlight. His feet were perched up on the small bench. He strung the strings on his instrument so expertly I wondered how I didn't know such a good artist.

His melody almost had me swaying to its enchantment. The lure tugged me hard, pulling me closer to this boy. It was all I could hear, all I could feel. I was above the clouds. And the sky beckoned to me.

It was familiar. This feeling.

" Via?" a voice snapped me out of my stupor. Via.

The boy turned to me. His legs fell down, now grounded to the floor. The music stopped.

I stepped back as dark blue eyes simmering in the sunlight met mine. His dark hair was very much ruffled and messy. His black leather jacket was now clear as his body moved towards me. 

He was about to stand, when he thought better of it and remained sitting.

" Brady" the name came out as a sigh. Maybe I even sounded uninterested. Though my feelings were the complete opposite of it. I was already craving him, his music, his touch again.

By a distance of 8 feet.

I should probably search it up on the internet;

How to uncrush your childhood crush?

I would probably get nothing.

And it probably wouldn't work either.

Because it wasn't just a crush anymore. 

It was more. 

I heard Brady inhale sharply. His eyes suddenly were interested in the wall beside him.

" What are you doing here?" he said gruffly. I rolled my voice at his tone.

" What are you doing here?"

" Don't you know? I think you've been here for a while now."

" I have."

" Then, with all due respect, may you please get out?"

I was stricken at the rudeness of his voice. He was never so rude. At least to me. I didn't know what riled him up so much.

" Does it even matter if I'm here or not?"

" Yes."

" No, It doesn't." I said, satisfied when he bared his teeth at me. I proudly turned my back to him and trotted to the grand piano. 

I felt his sharp gaze on me the entire time. His eyes were like daggers up on my back. I was scared to look back. Even though I desperately wanted to.

Brady. Brady do you like me?

Was the kiss a mistake for you?

Are things going to be so awkward between us now?

Are you okay?

So many questions. So many and I didn't even know if I really wanted an answer to them.

I recalled that depressing melody he had been playing. I wondered what made him play that.

'Some girl broke his heart.' Izzy's voice played in my head. Is that what was doing this to him? Is that what was so broken inside him?

Or was it that kiss?

Nope. I wouldn't think that.

I carefully sat on the bench and spread my fingers over the keys. My fingers started working as a song started to generate. 

The melody started forming. 

My head was getting into that familiar feeling of escapism. My hands moved faster, each with a press of devotion.

Music. My heart. My soul.

When I opened my two eyes, they found Brady first of everything else.

He was still perched on his windowsill. His dark hair was curling around his ears. His face, as though a knife had cut it, was sharp as ever. The sunlight shone over him, giving him the most angelic sight ever.

He was the devil. But he was also the angel.

It depended on whom he favoured which.

This time, his attention wasn't anywhere else though. It was at me.

His eyes were only on me. They didn't move. They didn't become less intense, they didn't become less filled with passion. They looked at me like I was the only one in the world.

Yes. It was passion that filled his eyes.

There was so much of it that the consistent brokenness was gone. There was no trace of it.

" Sylvia." he said. To my surprise, his voice cracked. There was sadness in it too. He turned away. Just as his gaze was ripped from mine, I felt that dull ache again.

" Can I ask you something?" I said softly to him across the room. My voice echoed. I saw him nod.

" You had your heart broken didn't you? That's why--" I inhaled, " you think that you don't want anyone and nor will you ever." I tilted my head, assessing him. Taking him in.

"You're afraid to fall in love." I finished.

Brady looked at me again.

" I guess so. I don't want to. I force myself never to."

" Why do you torture yourself like that?"

Who was I to speak though? I wanted to slap myself. 

" What good will it do to be optimistic about everything?"

" I'm not saying that. Believe me, I know what it's like when you torture yourself. I've been through that." I paused and then said so quietly, 

" I don't think I've ever even got out of it."

" I won't let somebody else break my heart. So I won't let anyone get close to it." he said. 

His voice was suddenly vulnerable. It seemed like he was just opening up to me without meaning to. As if he couldn't help it.

" Sometimes, you need to trust someone who will not. And when someone does break your heart, leave them to rot in hell."

He chuckled dryly.

" I've done that. I have. I couldn't believe I had, but I have. I've let go. I'm pretty sure. "

" Then what's killing you inside like that?" I asked.

I wanted to know the cause of his sadness. I couldn't help but take it out of him this time. 

I wanted the reason for why he was the way he was.

I wanted to comfort him.

" You" he said, so softly, I almost didn't hear it. Me?

All of a sudden he shook his head and abruptly stood up. I noticed his hands were trembling on his sides. But they stopped in an instant.

 His vulnerability was gone, just in a time of a snap.

He was sharp and...Brady-like again. His mask had returned.

I understood him though. I knew why he had to keep that mask on. It was like tape, to keep your glass from not shattering whole. I couldn't blame him. He was almost just like me.

I tilted my head to look up at him when he passed me to go open the door. Just as he was starting to exit, he said,

"Oh, and I forgot. I was supposed to tell you. Becca and Izzy are going shopping for the Christmas Dance tomorrow. It's late, but aren't they always?"

" Christmas dance?" I echoed.

" Yeah. The Christmas Dance, it's tomorrow night. Held in the Big Hall. It's there every year. Everyone is so excited about it."

I could hear his annoyance in his voice.

" Okay. I'll join them in a while."

" Go quickly, they'll leave at 3."

" Okay." I said.

" Okay." he said. There was a moment of silence in between. "I'll go then."

" Yeah. Thanks for telling me."

" It was nice hearing you play." his words were crisp and short. As he was walking out the door again, I called out,

" Brady!"

He turned.

" Are you coming to the dance?" I asked, almost shyly. A red tinge was slowly coming up my cheek.

Why would you ask him that? Of course --

His reply though, made me even more unsettled.

" Maybe."