Chapter 75

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"You said you feel a sense of guilt because of what happened, with everything you told me I could see where that feeling could stem from. Do you feel guilty about how you ended it with her?"

The first few sessions weren't as intense as this one. I could tell Dr. Ross was definitely going in on this session knowing by now I was more comfortable talking to her.

"I feel guilty for a lot of things not just that" I got out

"Would you like to elaborate?" She questioned as she gestured with her hands for me to continue on.

"The first thing I feel guilty about is showing up to the scene in the first place. I felt like I disrupted the police's work and it overall ended up real messy" I said leaning forward in my seat playing with my hands "I also feel guilty for leaving my girlfriend who begged me not to go. She says it's nothing, but I don't care it wasn't just nothing"

"The second thing?" Dr. Ross asked

"I did think I was a bit insensitive about how I ended things. We weren't dating, but I knew she was feeling me on another level. I didn't really care at that moment if I'm being honest" I shrugged "our relationship was strictly sex"

"Third?" She asked once again

"I feel guilty that I couldn't love her the way she loved me. Unrequited love sucks and the fact that it drove her to the lengths it did means she was really heartbroken...or maybe just a psycho, who knows." I sighed "but above that, I hate her...so much. Even dead she's fucking with me. For her last words to be blaming me for everything I just-" I said before pausing

The room filled with aching silence

"I feel like I have a right to feel that way, but then again I feel like I contributed. She drugged me and did all this shady shit that I hate her for, but at the end of the day I'm alive and she's not. I probably sound so stupid-"

"You don't sound stupid, Hunter. You just have so many emotions that you could finally freely express" she said calmly "You're trying to gather your thoughts and grasp everything on your own, but that's what I'm here for-to declutter them"

I nodded in response

I did feel a weight lifted off my shoulders finally getting everything I was feeling off my chest. This session was gonna be good for me.

For the next few days, Hunter has been locked in on football. He was gone all day and was home late nights. All the hard work on the field and in practice wasn't in vain as won his NFC title game and was headed to the Super Bowl—for the second time.

He had been doing his therapy sessions which were going good— even having one early morning on New Year's Eve. Hunter made sure to squeeze that in with any free time he had ultimately neglecting me. I wasn't the least bit upset about it, I loved that he was focusing on himself.

I was a bit busy too, renovating our new house. Hunter didn't bother to even put his input. Whatever I liked, he liked is what he'd say.

Say less.

New Years felt like it came in a hurry. Neither I nor, Hunter were in the partying mood so we stayed home and watched the ball drop together snuggled on the couch.

Hunter had a flight to Atlanta to begin Super Bowl preparations and I frankly didn't want to spend one of the few nights I got to see him sharing him.

Celine even invited me out causing me to promise her next year I'd turn up with her.

"What's your New Year's resolution?" I said softly

"My New Year's resolution is to finally win a Super Bowl, finally put a baby in you-"

"See you play too much" I laughed "does that even count as a resolution?"

"The chances of you being pregnant as we speak is very high and yeah it's my resolution...it counts" he smiled

"Anyways" I dragged out purposefully "My New Year's Resolution is to start heading to the gym, I've been gaining a little and I wanna tone up"

"You're gaining cause you're pregnant" he laughed

"Hunter that negative energy needs to be left in twenty eighteen," I said rolling my eyes playfully

"I said what I said" he shrugged "Nah, but for real you know I'm joking...kind of"

"Whatever, Hunter," I said pushing his shoulder "how have you been sleeping by the way?"

"It's gotta better, but I still sometimes wake up at night. I wish I could just take a sleeping pill and just knock out, but after that cocaine incident I'm not tryna put any drug in my system" he said seriously

"Well you haven't tried the greatest drug of them all," I said biting my lip

"And what would that be?" He smiled catching what I was putting down

"Me" I smiled "I'll have you out like a light in...no time," I said as I climb onto his lap straddling him

"I have pretty high stamina as you've witnessed. I don't think you could tire me out" Hunter said licking his lips

"So is my stamina. You must've forgotten who was my teacher" I said nibbling to top of his earlobe

"No, Nadia you're stamina is trash" he laughed causing me to pull back

"Oh you got jokes," I asked raising an eyebrow

"No jokes, just facts. You could try though, I ain't gonna stop you" he smirked

"Oh really?" I asked crossing my arms "I'll prove it"

"We'll see. Maybe this is just what the doctor ordered" he said raising his hips right into my already wet core. I could already feel how hard he was through my clothes causing me to gasp.

"Why do you always like to challenge me?" I asked; my breathing slightly increased

"Cause it's fun," he said grabbing the back of my neck and pulling down to his lips

He definitely won. I was down and out by round four.

"You can't hang, it's okay Nadia. I feel much calmer now if it makes you feel better. Falling asleep should come easier" he teased

"I hate you," I said sleepily. Usually, I'd get up and use the bathroom, but I was way too tired to do so.

"I won't see you later today, cause I'll be on my flight. I'll try to FaceTime when I can" he said as he rubbed my scalp

"I proud of you, you know? You're gonna win I just know it" I said tiredly

"Don't jinx it" he whined

"Someone's superstitious," I said rolling my eyes "You nervous?"

"I mean yeah...a little. It's a big stage, Nadia. Millions of people will be watching. Some who are wanting you to fail and some cheering you on. I remember how it was last year" he said trailing off

"How was it last year?" I asked yawning

He smiled before kissing my forehead "It was scary. I was a rookie straight outta college. Expectations for me as a rookie were far greater than any other in my draft class. I was coming off winning three straight championships in college and I was a Heisman Trophy winner. I was a bit cocky going into my first season not gonna lie" he laughed lightly before continuing on

At this point, I was damn near fighting sleep, but I really wanted to listen.

"Through the whole season, I was riding the wave, winning game after game-"

"Oh, I remember alright. You beat my Dolphins to a pulp last year. That's when I first saw you up close" I said interrupting him

"Really? What was your first impression of me?" He asked softly

"I was so upset you were beating my team and I wanted to chop your arm off—you were throwing touchdown pass after touchdown pass like it was nothing. I was like 'who does this man think he is?!' When you took off that helmet and the camera zoomed in on you though...I forgave you instantly" I said causing him to laugh loudly

"I literally was like 'this man is fine as hell', I had zero shame. I then proceeded to look you up on google like a little creep," I said laughing with him

"Looks like we both looked each other up then?" He smiled

"Funny right?" I said shaking my head "but back to what you were saying"

"Oh yeah, uh...as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," he said pinching my ass playfully "I was winning so many games I got overconfident, that when it was finally time to play in the Super Bowl—I choked. I feel like this year, I'm more humble and prepared for this you know?"

I smiled up at him

"So to answer your question once again...yeah I'm a little nervous, but it's good to be at least a little nervous going into these things."

With those last words, I shut my eyes and laid on his chest with contentment.

"you will always be a champion to me, win or lose," I said

"God you're so damn corny" he scoffed

"I was trying to be nice" I laughed tiredly "I hate you"

"I love you though," he said rubbing my back "now go to sleep, I know your ass has been fighting it just to listen to my story. I appreciate it"

"I love you, too"

"Mmhm" He hummed as he lulled me to sleep

A/N: 1 more to goo 🤧

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Chapter not edited. Grammatical errors

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