You're sitting on the swing in the children's park of the neighborhood and sipping on the yoghurt, deep in thought.

What does he want?

You voice out your question.

"I.." he scratches the back of his neck and you're noticing how he's only grown more gorgeous from before.

Your eyes are running over his every feature and trying to drink and swallow every detail before he's gone. Like a desperate thirsty traveller in a desert when a flask of water is finally pressed against his lips..

Just that the flask belongs to someone else.

You remind yourself that he's now someone else's. He never was yours.

And as this stinging pain bites you in your heart, you feel confident enough to look him in the eye.

"What is it?" You repeat for the third time. He's only staring at you.

"Your aunt." He says, "She called my Mom."

Oh.

Okay.

So he's not concerned about you. Just here to pass a message.

You mentally sigh.

"And?"

"She wants to drop off your younger brother. She has to leave for a business trip to Japan."

That selfish old hag.

"Oh.."

"She doesn't have my contact number?" You brood. How can she not?

"Okay. Thanks for the message. Do you have her contact number?" You ask.

He fumbles with his jacket and you think he's about to hand you a card or something, but he only zips down his jacket and hands it to you.

"And this.." you automatically take it, unable to stop yourself. "..This is yours."

"What?" You ask blankly.

"I could never give you anything in the past-"

"Jungkook, you gave me a life. I'm literally living on my second gem." You roll your eyes and he laughs. You give him his jacket back. He doesn't take it.

"This is not a game, y/n. I just hope you don't run out of gems with regrets."

"What do you care?" You blurt out before you know. He doesn't even look surprised that you have managed to be bitter about it. " You belong to somebody else now, so why the unanticipated affection? I don't think you have to do-"

"I'm doing this not for you, or her." The way his tongue rolls out the 'her' has you feeling like he's not having a great relationship there either. You hate yourself for it, but you're teeny tiny pleased to know that and almost do a small dance of glee in your head.

You kick the ground and start swinging. He regards you with reproach and when you don't look like you give a rat's ass, he joins you on the swing next to you, only not swinging and turns to you to continue his monologue.

"I'm doing this because, I don't feel at ease knowing you're alone."

"That's where you're wrong, honey. I'm not alone."

"Are you dat-"

"You know there's more to life than just romance, don't you?" You cut him off.

"Besides, I don't need an active love life right now, I'm too busy trying to sort out my priorities for myself. My mental health being one of them."

He nods as he gnaws on his lower lip and you're reminded of your first kiss. You blink away the sudden image and look the other way.

Biggest regrettable second decision of your life.

Going out with him would have to be a sure first.

He notices how you're desperately keeping yourself distracted from him.

"You've moved on, right?" He suddenly asks.

"Jungkook, I think I should go." You respond instinctively, getting to your feet. You don't want to have this conversation with him out of all people.

You would even gladly save this embarrassment to show to Dr. Kim, but not Jungkook.

Your high school crush turned ex.

Ugh. How you hate yourself for having any feelings for him in the first place.

"I have had too many crisis to worry about our past. Let it live there. I know your heart was never with me, and now that you have it safe with somebody else, I don't want you to have anything to do with me. I would not want to disturb that. Keep somebody happy to be with you."

You're surprised that your voice was steady throughout this little beautiful speech that you just spun out without a thought. He seems convinced that you are over him and finally gives a slow long nod. This jacket was your favourite, but now you don't have any lingering feelings for this stupid jacket either. You hand it to him and he doesn't fight it this time.

"Right. Sorry." He gets up and follows you to the gates of the garden. You're suddenly feeling way too much over him. Your eyes are suddenly able to see that you were only infatuated with him.

How can you waste the space in your heart for someone who does not even commit to one person sincerely?

"My conscience doesn't allow for me to leave you in the dark, y/n, but.." he takes your hand suddenly and slowly tightens his grip on your wrist, an obvious desperate attempt. It's like he's pushing his thoughts and emotions into that one small action. "But, I really like yo- liked you. I do-"

"Goodnight, Jungkook." You say stone-facedly.

Your icy tone leaves his confession hanging in the air awkwardly, as you hurry away.

"Thanks for the yoghurt." You mutter as you dump the bottle in the trash-can along with the remainder of your feelings.

I've got Kim Taehyung to think about.

~~~

You're sitting in your college library and Leena is trying to memorize a particularly tough diagram.

"I don't even know why I'm studying. I just have to marry my boyfriend and stay at home."

You can't help but laugh airily. "How very convenient." You sarcastically comment and turn your attention to your book. You wish making life decisions was this easy for you too.

But, you've got a brother to feed, soon. You don't have parents and neither do you have someone to love you. So you are basically aimless in life. You don't even know what you're studying for at this point. Deciding to end your life was probably the best you had done so far.

"So last night.." Leena begins, "You went to see your doctor, huh?" She smirks. She makes it sound so dirty that you scrunch your nose in plain repugnance.

You roll your eyes, "I had a literal episode, Leena, in front of you. Of course, I did." You see no point in denying it.

So what if you're about to catch a lil feeling...s?

Eh? You don't have to hide it. You've learned that suppressing feelings strengthens them the most.

You're going to be a wiser girl.

You're going to confess.

And you're going to confess even before you catch any feelings per se.

And you're going to be so expressive about it while you do it, that the expressiveness and the excessiveness is going to drive him away and you will not get time to break your heart over another stupid guy.

Poor Dr. Kim.

Besides, what even happened of trying to cure yourself of your PTSD episodes and anxiety disorder triggered each time by absolutely nothing!? Just any random thing has been throwing you off into that pit, you gotta fetch yourself some brand new distraction before you're consumed by the scenes of your mother's death night.

~*~

You're drifting off to sleep when you're reminded of Kim Taehyung and the note he slipped you. How did you not think of it before?

You bring it out of your purse and gingerly unravel the mysterious content within.

It's in a miniature envelope and you're obsessing over the cuteness of it.

You open it to find a small note inside. With creased eyebrows, you open the folded note.

On one side is a cute little ball pen doodle of a girl in an overcoat similar to yours that you wore on your first session.

On the other side is,

Even if the world is about to end,
Look for me when you need a friend.
And when you need some peace of mind,
You know where I'll be to find.

You're not sure why you're smiling, but it quickly fades as a sour taste settles in the back of your throat.

Lovely! You've just been friendzoned, y/n.

Even Kim Taehyung doesn't want you.

I mean, of course. Why the heck would he?

You with your potato nose. Unruly eyebrows and uneven lips, your sorry little figure and your massive forehead can't win the heart of such an enchanting human being.

But, hey? Look at the bright side of it.

You're welcome to barge into his life anytime.

Basically, even if he's married, you can go look for him if your world is ending!? Hmm..

You're creeped out by yourself as you're smiling weirdly alone in the dark. The note clutched in one hand and the other just hovering over your mouth, your creepy grin widening, you have realized..

Kim Taehyung just opened his doors for you.

And you?

Probably your legs-

lego set*

So you can build a cute little lego fortress together😍