Throat running dry, I wait to see if he's serious.

...And he is.

He's old-school, he said. But his threats always sound serious. What part of him should I believe?

When I aim to bring my hand to stop him again, he gathers my wrists in one of his hands and pins them above my head before his other hand undoes the second button.

"I told you not to get me started," He warns, leaning in to drag my bottom lip between his teeth slowly, "But you...you, Y/n, have never obeyed me anyway. You're such a bad girl, Y/n...what do you think mmm...should...your punishment be?" I close my eyes into the kiss but he pulls away, making them shoot wide open instantly.

It's silent for a moment and I go back to his question while he gazes at me.

"Tie me up," I suggest boldly and his eyes go slightly wide.

"What?" he chokes a little, before coughing out in shock.

"Yeah, with your tie. And then have your way with me."

His eyes darken dangerously. A sinister look crawls onto his features now, all softness and goofiness melting away.

He looks down at the tie that's lying by the floor and back at me.

"Oh, I will," he responds softly, "But don't you think, Y/n, that a necktie is too...I don't know, too gentle maybe?"

I gulp before slapping a goofy smile back onto my lips. "We can test that out tonight." I lick my lips seductively, but I only end up looking like an idiot.

He snorts, losing composure.

"Honestly, how horny are you?"

"On a scale of one to ten, 69"

He bursts out laughing and it's so priceless...

I love it.

I grin back happily meanwhile he shakes his head.

"You're my favorite mental patient.
Perfectly mental."

I wink at him, "I only learn from the best."

We both giggle harder idiotically, not sure what to do now. We both know what we want to do, but we both know we don't want to do it like that.

He watches me with a fond smile on his face before exhaling deeply in bliss.

I smile back, happier than ever.

This...

This is...

This was probably the happy ending I didn't expect because of the consistent tragedy waiting to bombard me all the time, but this was the happy ending I was more than grateful to get.

I don't believe we die when we are buried in graves because our "hearts stopped beating" and we "stopped breathing".

We die, when we're forgotten by people. And that's the anguish I felt when I was suddenly wiped out of everybody's memories. I was dead for everybody..

...even when I was alive.

And now when I have the right people around me, I cannot ask for more.

With my anxiety gone and the many nightmares that used to haunt me for countless nights, but had suddenly ceased attacking me....

The skies looked bluer, the trees looked greener, the world shined brighter and I laughed a little louder, smiled a little wider and I vowed to be more grateful and careful, more humble and generous, more eager to share my happiness with others and more eager for them to divide their sorrows with me.

And.

Somewhere in my heart I knew,

There was a fresh beginning waiting for me.

Devoid of tragedies.

But a life full of adventure with this amazing human being next to me who didn't mind all the awkward crap I was. In fact, embraced it and actually loved me because of it...

So I no longer fear the monsters and shadows of the dark.
Because, all darkness and all the monsters exist.. only in our minds.

And I also have a psychologist next to me, to cure my anxiety from time to time.

And he had me.

His...

Favorite mental patient?!

I sat up straight next to him.

"By the way..." I began again and he hummed as he pulled me into his lap to make me sit facing him, "Yes?" he pushed my hair out of my eyes as he held my face between his hands and stared at me, as if marvelling at me.

I get momentarily distracted when I feel something...down there, but there's no escape as he holds my waist and keeps me atop him.

He was now pretending he didn't just seat me directly on his crotch. But I didn't play along. I turned sideways putting an arm around his shoulder and rested my head against his chest. Still in his lap but in a more platonic position...I guess?

"Ahh, I was saying.." I tried not to laugh as the question climbed to the surface of my mind and the tip of my tongue.

"Yes?" he raised his eyebrows curiously. After trying not to for so long, I give in.

"How exactly do you think guinea pigs respond to a mating call?"

He went silent instead.

I expected him to laugh? But he was quiet. His hand stopped stroking my hair and instead, he manspreaded, dropping me in the space between his thighs before he reached down below my stomach.

Fingers inching towards what was between my thighs slowly. I held my breath stiffening up, as I waited to see what he was doing.

His eyes didn't leave mine as his hand slipped inside my pyjamas, now climbing lower as his palm flatly glided across my flesh.

Inhaling sharply, I squirmed under his grip but he refused to let me move as his fingers moved the fabric covering me, out of the way.

I instantly tucked my thighs together, swallowing hard.

"Sir, I thought you were old schoo-"

I blinked at the sudden emptiness under my pyjamas. He had pulled his hand away.

I was still in shock, but he laughed softly before kissing the top of my head.

"Apparently, they respond with 'Sir I thought you were old school'."

wtf.

I glare at the wall in front of me, ignoring Taehyung's entertained chuckles.

So...he was messing with me?!

Then I laugh too, imagining guinea pigs actually saying that. "Yeah, but I do think you only say you're old school-"

"If I wasn't old-school, I'd do a lot more with you, Y/n. You have no idea how hard I'm working on my self-control right now." he cuts me off harshly.

I turn my eyes to him to see how serious he is and he is, indeed, dead serious.

This is fun. I can mess with him too..

With a devilish grin, I bring my hand to his neck to trace my fingers lightly over his collarbone and his neckline to tease him. It does work because his eyes roll to the back of his head and he sighs deeply, his hand gripping me tightly to him as he presses me into his lower body desperately.

I pause.

Bruh

He really is working hard on it huh

I try not to chortle but then I gasp when he suddenly moves me with a jerk back onto his crotch.

We both freeze.

His eyes fly open and he stares at the ceiling, ruffling his hair in embarrassment.

"You're fucking irresistible," he mutters angrily making me giggle as I wait to understand what happens next.

Nothing does.

He keeps me in his embrace, his arms around me, no longer crushing me though as he calms himself.

I clear my throat, wondering if me getting off would make it awkward or me just staying here would be more awkward.

It goes silent for a long time. His mind probably racing with all sorts of sinful thoughts as do mine. The way his hands twitch for my waist makes it obvious, though I try not to show I'm aware.

But I dont know what is his final thought because he groans suddenly, almost growling out in annoyance.

"Fuck it! Marry me Y/n"

It takes me a moment to see he's whipped out a ring from his coat pocket.

I stare at it in wonder as I swallow hard.

Was he always this cute or am I suddenly more in love with him?

"What" I breathe out as I reach for it quickly.

"You had a donut all this time and you never told me!?"

He pulls it away from my reach, "Yes you can eat it after you say yes-"

"Yes okay! Let's marry alright thank you for the donut" I grab it from his hand and he sighs, waiting for I don't know what as I take a bite.

"Can you at least share though?" he asks as he cards his fingers through his hair, "I thought we'd share-"

He does know how to ease the tension. Because we both would literally die if not for the distraction. We were secretly relieved there was something we could use to change the topic with.

But I loved to provoke him.

So I smiled as I kept the little donut between my teeth. Waiting for him to take a hint.

He does.

He slowly leans in to take a bite happily. A bit hesitant though. And it's actually so fucking cute, I scrunch my nose at him in adoration.

He's adorable as hell.

I pinch his breadcheek a little, "I didn't know you were this cute, Dr. Kim."

His face feels hot near mine as if he's blushing furiously.

Then he rolls his eyes.

"This cute Dr. Kim can destroy you in seconds, sweetheart" he warns in a low menacing tone as he slowly slides his tongue across the chocolate on the corner of my mouth, biting my bottom lip slowly. I reciprocate, letting his hot tongue enter my mouth as he begins to sway me back and forth, kissing me harder.

I try to pull away to breathe, but he follows until I moan into his kiss and he stops.

I sniffle awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Where do we go from here?

Again a dilemma!

He laughs in amusement.

"What was that for" he wheezes softly.

I shrug, going redder in the face when he continues to chuckle at my awkwardness.

Something feels really weird with me. Was I always this awkward?

"I don't know, just-"

"That was my life's most delicious donut by the way" he informs me matter-of-factly and I laugh too, a little too nervously.

"Mine too..."

I turn my attention to it, ignoring his existence now.

After we finish the donut, I fall asleep.

Which I don't know why, but it seemed pretty problematic to him because he forcefully carried me to the bathroom and force-brushed my teeth.

"You have some weird habits you need changing," He murmured as he rolled his eyes, "Our first day together and I already see how naughty you are."

I rolled my eyes too, except that I fell asleep somewhere in the middle again. "I'm not naughty, I'm disgusting. Don't sugarcoat," is what I wanted to say, but this is what I said.

"Immomumuhbrrmizhnoat"

"You make a fair point," He nodded serenely, "more on that later."

I laughed sleepily and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"Hya...Kim Taehyaaang"

"Yes?" he whispered as he tucked me next to Sanji.

"I...I love you, man..." I mumbled softly as I struggled to remain awake, but I'm sure I heard him chuckle. He sounded really happy.

"I love you very much, Y/n"

I held onto his collars, refusing to let him go. I was afraid this was a dream. What if I woke up and it turns out he had really moved to New Zealand and this was all...just...

The thought was unbearable.

After all the goofy moments and smiling and laughing all night, I was afraid it would turn out to be a dream. I didn't want to be clingy and scare him if this was real, but I couldn't stop myself from sobbing and begging him to stay.

He sighed and told me it was irrational for him to stay when Sanji was right here. It would be inappropriate too. And he was, after all, a gentleman, even if he wasted a lot of time trying to convince me otherwise so to keep me away from him for the better. (Not that it ever worked)

Then I suggested sleepily for him to dump Sanji on the couch in the living room and hypnotize him to be happy forever.

He refused and told me that's not how it worked and scolded me for turning out to be such a mean sister.

I shrugged and told him I just didn't want to lose him. He tried to convince me that wouldn't happen, but it didn't convince me.

In the end, this was my first victory.

Except, he brought the beanbag to the bedroom, placed it by my side and sat down on it, not moving Sanji at all. He just didn't want to.

He promised he'd be right here when I'd wake up.

And that he was not a dream.

And it...it somehow healed me.

It broke me, but it healed me too.

It made me cry.

Out of happiness.

So I cried. And he comforted me. Stroking my hair and patting my head gently.

So I cried more. Harder.

Because I didn't know what I did to deserve him.

He asked me the same. What did he do to deserve my unconditional love?

I told him he probably hypnotized me and he laughed hard at that. He told me he cannot hypnotize anybody into loving him. He doesn't want such kind of love.

I told him I got hypnotized by his angelic looks and he sighed before asking me sadly if that is all I loved him for.

My eyes opened a little warily now, slightly losing my sleepiness, I frowned.

I told him his looks were a bonus, his fucked-up...ness...is what makes me want him.

And love him.

For some reason, that answer made his rare radiant smile come back. For some reason, he loved to receive that more than anything.

Said that was all that he wanted.

I asked him what he loved me for.

And he smiled as he stroked my hair lovingly, his thumb caressing my lips lightly as he framed the answer in his head.

He told me opening up about what made him love me would be a skeptical story where Irene would be a part of it too and he was not sure if I'd like to hear it.

I said I did.

I didn't mind.

He told me he met me way before he met Irene. When Dr. KYC took me to the lab once, but the memory was hazy. It was around when I was probably 13.

He didn't want to speak of that time and said it wasn't relevant since I didn't even remember it, but then he agreed that the marriage he had with Irene was one of convenience.

Her father was some big research partner that cooperated with Taehyung's father as well as mine.

So before the old man died, he assigned a lot of his assets to Taehyung and coming under pressure, Taehyung agreed to court Irene in college.

Then to take care of those assets, he agreed to marry Irene as well. He didn't know why the man made him do it. His guess was that the father-in-law probably saw Irene and Taehyung as an ideal couple.

His darker guess was that though Irene seemed like a sweet girl, something was secretly wrong with her. Taehyung never bothered to find out what. He was afraid, if he did, he would end up hurting her and he knew she didn't deserve that.

That's exactly what Irene's father expected of Taehyung as well. And Taehyung exceeded his expectations.

So he trusted Taehyung too much, unlike my father who seemed to loathe him for some strange reason, he added.

I blushed in embarrassment, now a little more awake.

And just like that, he wasn't exactly ever smitten over Irene. He liked her because she was a gentle soul. Disliked her when she began cheating on him, he presumed, and then liked her again when he found out she was not ever exactly cheating on him.

But that alone taught him, if his love fluctuated so much, it was probably not love. But then again, he didn't need to realise so much. He had always been aware. He just didn't find Irene too problematic, neither too passionate of a lover.

It was a plain marriage. The adventure and passion, all flat-lining throughout their married lives.

Neither sought adventure.

Irene needed stability and Taehyung offered her that. Taehyung needed someone to accept him with his flaws and fucked-up-ness as he called it, but apparently Irene never approved of it.

She didn't show interest in his life the way he wanted her to, so he returned the favour. Her life was not interesting anyways. So they lived under the same roof, ate together and continued to just exist together, that's all.

But when he saw me, he agreed with guilt, that he did cheat on his marriage. But he emphasized he didn't fall for me out of the blue.

It was my social awkwardness the first time I accidentally shook his hand when he didn't mean it that way. He admits, that was the first time he wanted to grab me and just kiss the hell out of me.

I smiled bleakly, not sure how to react and then he went on to list the reasons why and how he fell for me.

From the way I picked his art language and spoke it back to him, the way I wrote a poetry back for him which he never expected anyone to do. Said it warmed his heart...because people usually take but never give and he isn't exactly a materialistic person anyway so love language matters a lot to him.

Even Irene simply accepted his poetries and gifts etc, but didn't ever reciprocate with even equal or minimal efforts. Nah, never. So he appreciated that I communicated the same with him using his love language the way he always yearned. He enjoyed how I bailed out on a blind date just to have breakfast with him, and he loved the way I was crazy and stubborn and the way I resisted him even when I couldn't that made him want me more, and then the way I was attracted to him that made him want me most.

From the way I was strong enough to deal with all the crisis in my life, take care of my brother, brave through so much misery and come out stronger, for having the guts to kick Kai in the crotch and steal the research papers back, from the way I broke into his office, told Hwisan a dozens of lies about me being a lawyer, being pregnant with his baby, trying to hypnotize Hwisan, then trying to hypnotize Taehyung and from the way I called his dick lightsaber and all those weird things I do to the way I had faith in him to the end...to the way I had the courage to hold on to him despite everything.

...And never gave up even until tonight. He realised.

And then my memes and perversion were, apparently, a bonus too, he added, that made him realise he needed someone he could blow off steam with. And he loved how he didn't have to necessarily think too hard when he was with me.

And he admitted how helplessly he couldn't ever get over the taste of our kisses, our conversations, my goofiness and my ability to make him forget the world.

He loved everything.

He must be a hypnotist, but he said I needn't be one because even without such skills, I had the power to make him get absorbed in me like no other. And stay hypnotized that way.

And I felt honoured. Flattered. And a lot of things.

I felt undeserving of so much love.

To me all of those reasons felt embarrassing to be honest. But he insisted I accept them because it was going to stay that way, so I might as well admit I'm cute.

I laughed and rolled my eyes, lying that I accepted it.

Even I could list a million reasons why I loved him too, he stopped me saying he was not competing. This was not a competition.

He just wanted me to know he knew me and he loved me for