Chapter 49

The moment I heard the news, I started booking a ticket online. My hands were trembling and I could not think of anything else because of my worry.

"Sasama ako." Meana said faintly.

Nagulat ako, lalo't halatang halata ang pag-aalala sa kaniyang mukha. I just nodded and booked a one-way ticket for two. I was so thankful because the latest trip available is tomorrow afternoon. We can leave immediately.

I asked my mother for the details. Aniya'y hindi niya alam ang tunay na nangyari. Sa ospital kung saan nagtatrabaho sina Mama at Tita Val isinugod si Chester kaya do'n lang din nila nalaman.

I started ringing some of Chester's friends that I know to ask for details. Meana is already in her room, packing up her things. We're both feeling agitated after hearing the news. Chester is in a critical condition! Mama said he was rushed to the hospital yesterday and until now he's still not awake.

"Hey, Aurora..." Neal's British accent greeted me.

"Oh God, Neal! Thank you for answering! What happened to Chester?" Mabilis kong tanong.

"It was an accident, Aurora. We were with him. We attended a party and he dropped us off but we were startled when Harry called us telling that Chester's car was hit by a truck."

Nanlaki ang aking mga mata sa balita niya. What?! Oh my gosh! Mas lalong tumindi ang pag-aalala ko. I can feel myself tearing up.

"Oh my... did you... visit him already?" I stuttered.

"I'm on my way to visit him. I heard you're out of the country. Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm... in the Philippines but I already have a flight tomorrow. Can you please update me about his condition? I will really appreciate it."

"Sure. Don't worry." He assured.

I was occupied for the whole day. I sobbed when I heard Tita Val crying on the other line. Ramdam ko ang takot at pagod sa boses niya habang ibinabalita sa akin ang kalagayan ni Chester. Chester's sister, Chelsea called me too, asking if I'm going home. I guaranteed her that I will.

I was so busy with answering different calls and fixing my things. Hindi ko alam kung anong dadalhin kaya napagpasyahan ko na lang na dalhin lahat. Sabay kaming nag-dinner ni Meana. She was so silent and her eyes were puffy but I didn't dare ask her about it because I feel like she doesn't want to be interrogated. At least, that's how I see it.

Pagka-akyat ko ng kwarto ay kaagad akong nag-shower. Pagod na pagod ako kaya naman sa kama kaagad ang bagsak ko. My heart is heavy from worrying too much. I was scrolling through my phone when I remember Olzen. Oh God, I almost forgot!

Hindi ako nagdalawang isip na tawagan siya. Tatlong ring pa lang nang sagutin niya agad ito. Suminghap ako at nanginig ang labi dahil hindi ko alam kung anong una kong sasabihin. I felt guilt-ridden because I almost forgot him again! Halo halo na ang pagod at nararamdaman ko.

"Hey..." aniya sa marahan na boses.

Kinagat ko ang labi nang tumambol ng husto ng puso ko. I miss him so bad! We didn't talk for the past days and his voice was enough to push me to the edge.

"Olzen..." my voice trembled.

He grew silent for a second. May narinig akong ingay sa background niya bago siya muling nagsalita.

"What's wrong?" He asked in his serious tone.

Dumiin ang kagat ko sa aking labi. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa boses niya pa lang ay naiiyak na ako. When did I become so emotional like this? I don't know but his voice always gets me. It's like a lullaby especially when I'm not feeling okay. Back in the days, he always whispers sweet things to me so I can calm down. I guess it never changed.

"I'm sorry..." humikbi ako. "I'm... I'm sorry for... everything."

I just really feel so guilty that I felt sorry for all of my shortcomings. Hindi ko na alam kung anong mga 'yon pero pakiramdam ko marami.

Hindi siya agad nagsalita. I can hear his heavy breathing. Tahimik akong humihikbi, hindi alam kung para saan ang mga luhang iyon. Masakit ang didbib ko. Aalis na naman ako nang hindi pa kami nagkakaayos. Why is it always like that?

"You're not leaving me... are you?" Sa mababa at namamaos na boses.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit mas lalong nanikip ang dibdib ko ro'n. He's used of me leaving him and I know how hard it is for him to deal with it. Ilang beses ko nang ginawa iyon sa kaniya pero nariyan pa rin siya. Bakit ko ba hindi man lang nakita 'yon? Bakit ngayon lang?

Tuluyan akong umiyak. Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga nang marinig ko ang pagtikhim niya. Kinagat ko ang labi para pigilan ang iyak ko. Shit! Why the hell am I crying this hard?!

"Iiwan mo na naman ba ako?" Nanginig ang malalim niyang boses bago ko narinig ang pagsinghap niya.

Umiling ako, kahit hindi naman niya kita. "H-hindi..."

Hindi siya agad nagsalita. He took a deep breathe, like he was relaxing himself.

"Then why are you crying? What's the problem? Do you want me to come home?" Sunod sunod niyang tanong.

"I'm... I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm sorry." I gasped.

He grew silent again. I shut my eyes as I try to calm down myself.

"Mag-usap tayo pagka-uwi ko. Hintayin mo ako." He said before dropping the call.

Hindi ko na siya muling tinawagan. Nanatili lang ako sa kama, pagod at inaantok. Marami akong iniisip kagaya na lamang ng mga sasabihin ko kapag narito na si Olzen. The past days has been a roller coaster, a lot has happened and I just feel drained especially that I have another thing to worry about.

Nagising ako dahil sa mga boses. I groaned when I heard the door of my room opening. Tumama ang ilaw na nanggagaling sa labas sa madilim kong kwarto.

"Tulog na yata..." It was Meana's soft voice.

I was still sleepy but I heard a baritone voice. Nagmulat ako ng mata, medyo masakit ang ulo ko. Siningkit ko ang mga mata dahil sa liwanag. Unti unting nagising ang diwa ko nang makita si Olzen sa may pinto, kausap ang pinsan ko.

"Thank you." Was the last thing I heard from Olzen before he closed the door.

Kinapa ko ang lampshade sa tabi ng kama para maliwanagan ang buong kwarto. My lips parted when I saw Olzen striding towards the bed. My heart thumped and without thinking, I jumped off the bed and ran towards him. Hindi na ako nag-isip ng kung ano man at inatake siya ng yakap.

I miss him so bad and I'm just so happy that he's here! The frantic beating of my heart and the emotions that are rushing through my veins was overwhelming.

Nang pumulupot ang kamay niya sa akin ay mas lalong humigpit ang yakap ko sa kaniya. His hands enveloped my waist then I felt him stroking my hair. He embraced me tightly before I felt him kissing my head. And just that, I feel like everything is fine.

Bumaon ang mukha ko sa kaniyang dibdib. I inhaled his fresh manly scent. Pakiramdam ko ayoko nang bumitaw. Pakiramdam ko ayoko ng umalis. I just want to stay like this with him forever.

"I'm sorry..." my voice was muffled.

The tears started pouring again, little by little that I felt stupid. Hindi na ba matatapos 'tong luha na 'to? I don't really like crying!

"Para saan?" He probed softly while stroking my hair.

"E-everything. I'm really... really sorry." I gripped on his shirt and sniffed on his shirt.

"Can you look at me?" He whispered on my ear but all I did was to shake my head.

I heard him sigh deeply. When I felt his hand on my butt, pushing me up, I immediately wrapped my hands around his neck. Kahit gulat ay mabilis pa ring pumulupot ang mga binti ko sa baywang niya. I buried my head on his neck as I felt him move towards the bed.

Umupo siya sa gilid ng kama. He renewed his hold on me. His hand on my behind went on my legs to fix my position. I'm now kneeling on the bed while straddling him. After that, he put back his arms around my waist.

"I want you to look at me while we talk, Elais." Aniya sabay marahang tulak sa akin para makita niya ang mukha ko.

Suminghap ako at huminga ng malalim bago lumayo sa kaniya. Nakayuko ako habang pinapahid ang basang pisngi. I felt him fixing my hair, his other hand caressing my back. I bit my lip when I looked up to him.

Seryoso pero malamlam ang tingin niya sa akin. I pursed my lips as I struggle to look presentable in front of him. He was silent as he watches me fix my bangs. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinakabahan. He wiped my cheek using his thumb before putting his hand on the side of my thighs.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked seriously.

I nibbled my lip and swallowed hard. "Sa lahat... for... doubting you. I'm sorry. I should have asked you first. Kaso... napangunahan ako ng sakit at galit. I'm sorry."

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa aking mga kamay na nakapatong sa hita ko. Matagal ko namang pinag-isipan ang sasabihin ko sa kaniya , ah? Bakit nauutal pa rin ako?

"Ano pa?" He asked coldly.

I looked at him as my lips pout a little. Galit ba siya? Nagtaas siya ng kilay dahil sa reaksyon ko. Suminghap ako at kumurap.

"I'm sorry kasi mas pinili kong... takbuhan ang problema natin. I'm sorry kasi naglasing ako... at... at..." kinagat ko ang labi nang makita ang pag-iigting ng kaniyang panga.

Now he really looks irritated. The way his jaw clench and his eyes darken, I know it put him in a bad mood. My heart tugged and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered and looked at my hands again.

"Nagdududa ka pa rin ba sa akin?" His voice was thick and heavy.

Umiling ako at pinirmi ang labi dahil ramdam ko na naman ang nagbabadyang pagtulo ng lintek na mga luha. Masakit sa dibdib ang tanong niya.

"Hindi." I inhaled and shook my head. "Natakot ako na baka masaktan ulit ako ng sobra at bumalik sa dati. I was... depressed and for the past years... I did my best to pull myself up. I was just scared that the pain will bring me back to that state."

His brows pulled together as he stared at me intensely. Ngumuso ako dahil sa lalim ng titig niya. I never really told him what happened to me. Hindi naman na importante 'yon.

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?" Kumunot ang kaniyang noo.

"It's not important." I smiled a little but it just made his jaw clench tigheter.

"Importante para sa akin, Elais. I want to know what you've been through so I will know how to handle you better." Seryoso niyang sinabi.

Tinitigan ko siya. Nanlabo ang aking paningin. Tipid akong tumango at kinuwento sa kaniya ang napagdaanan ko. Everything about it. Mula no'ng early stages ng depression ko hanggang sa maging Major Depressive Disorder na ito. He listened to me silently.

I didn't cry which was surprising. I just feel like crying but my tears didn't fall. My heart was clenching by remembering all the things I have been through. Tahimik siya nang matapos kong i-kwento lahat. I was just staring at my fingers, playing with them. He reached for my face and cupped it gently.

"To be able to pull yourself back mentally and emotionally, I'm proud of you." He whispered.

It triggered my tears. He's proud of me! I don't know why it brought me too much emotion. Mariin niya akong tinitigan. His eyes tendered and I whimpered when he caressed my cheek.

"Hinding hindi kita ibabalik sa lugar na 'yon, Elais. Yes, I'm upset that you doubted me but I tried to understand you. At ngayon mas naiintindihan ko pa. I want you to be always honest with me, can you do that?" Tumaas ang kilay niya.

Tumango ako at nagpahid ng luha. That, I will promise. From now on.

"Kapag may problema tayo, magsabi ka kaagad sa akin. Hindi natin palilipasin ang araw na hindi natin 'yon naayos. We won't run away from our problems. If you're scared of anything, tell me and I'll do anything to keep it from happening." He said seriously.

Tinitigan ko siya sa mata. He licked his lips and stroked my hair gently, letting me wipe my wet cheeks. What did I do to deserve him?

"You have me, Elais. It's us against anything so there's nothing to fear."

I nodded obediently. He sighed heavily and pulled me closer. He buried his face on my neck as he cuddled me tightly. Suminghap ako at pinatong ang ulo sa balikat niya. His warmth and scent made my insides tremble.

Matagal kami sa posisyong gano'n. Halos hilain na nga ulit ako ng antok kung hindi ang siya ulit nagsalita. He moved away a little and lazily put his hands on my waist. I tried to keep myself awake as I stare back at him. The silhouette of his face against the dim light was aesthetic. It made me want to stare at him for a long time.

"I heard what happened to Chester. Is that the reason why you're leaving tomorrow?" He tilted his head.

Kumung ang aking noo. He licked his lips while watching my inquiring reaction.

"Sinabi sa akin ng pinsan mo." He answered my silent query.

Umawang ang labi ko at unti-unting tumango. I nibbled my lip because I felt my heart clench. Biglaan na naman ang pag-alis ko. But this time, I want to assure him. Because if I have my own fears, I know he has his own too.

"I'm sorry kung biglaan... he's in a critical condition and they want me there. Kasama ko si Meana." I sound upset.

He swallowed hard and nodded. Ngumuso ako sa kaniya. Seryoso siya at mukhang malalim ang iniisip. Marahan kong hinawakan ang mukha niya at tiningnan siya sa mata. His brows moved as he waits for my advances. Hinaplos ko ang kaniyang panga, feeling a bit of his stubbles before smiling a little.

"Please don't get mad..." I whispered softly.

His brows pulled together as he pursed his lips. "Hindi ako galit."

I pouted and scanned his face. Hinaplos ko ang mukha niya gamit ang hinlalaki ko. His lips parted while watching me.

"Babalik ako. When everything is settled, I will come back. Can you wait for me?" Masuyo kong tanong.

I felt his jaw clench. He caught my hand caressing his face and brought it to his lips. My heart pounded when he kissed it tenderly.

"I will always wait, Elais. It's what I've been doing for the past years. But this time, I want you to promise me." Aniya sa malalim na boses.

I smiled and nodded as my eyes welled. "I promise I will come back. I promise, Olzen."

Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi.

"I love you." I whispered with all my heart.

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. His stare became more intense and I can't help but to tremble a little. Kumuyom ng husto ang kaniyang panga at ikiniling niya ang ulo para mas matitigan ang mukha ko. He swallowed and cupped my face.

"One more." He demanded.

"I love you, Olzen. I promise to do it right this time. I promise I won't run when problems arise. I promise to trust you with all my heart. I promise I will come back to you. Mahal na mahal kita." Buong tapang kong sinabi.

He threw his head back as he nibbled his lower lip. He looks pleasured, happy, serious, intense... I don't know anymore. Kumalat ang init sa aking leeg patungo sa aking mukha. I felt my face burning so I looked away.

"And you chose to say that now that you're leaving?" Nagtaas siya ng kilay sabay kagat muli ng labi.

I pouted my lips and looked at him apologetically. He glared at me for a bit but his lips were twitching, stifling a smirk.

"I love you too, Elais Aurora." He whispered like a promise.

It's not snowing in Toronto but the temperature is very cold. I feel so tired and my head is aching from the long trip. Pero wala kaming pahinga ni Meana. Sumaglit lang kami sa bahay nila sa Toronto. Sinabihan kami ng mga magulang niyang magpahinga muna bago tumulak sa Ontario pero pareho yata kaming hindi na makapaghintay kaya bumiyahe rin kami agad.

Pakiramdam ko lalagnatin na naman ako. Hindi pa rin ako nasasanay sa pagbabago ng klima. My body's temperature is messed up but I cared less. Pagkarating namin sa Ontario ay dumiretso kami agad sa bahay namin.

"Papa..." I smiled a little at my father.

Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit at tinapik ang balikat ko. Meana greeted her too. Siya lang ang nasa bahay dahil naka-duty si Mama. Kinamusta niya ang biyahe namin at pinaghanda kami ng pagkain. Pareho kaming bagsak sa kama ni Meana dahil sa sobrang pagod. Hinayaan kami ni Papa na magpahinga na muna.

I woke up without Meana beside me. I was still sleepy but I dragged myself out of the bed because we need to go to the hospital. I was looking into my things when I saw Meana walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey," I greeted. "Are you okay?"

She smiled a little but I can see how anxious she is. She was unusually silent during the long trip but I let her be. Bagong ligo siya at may towel pa sa ulo.

"I'm fine. I'll wait for you downstairs." She replied feebly.

I nodded at her and took turn for the bathroom. Mabilis lang ang ginawa kong pagligo. After putting my coat and boots, I went outside my room. Nadatnan ko si Meana na kumakain habang kausap si Papa.

"Your mother called, Era. Ihahatid ko kayo." Si Papa.

"Bumisita na ba kayo, Pa?"

Lumapit ako kay Meana na tahimik na kumakain. I got my own food and sat beside her.

"I went yesterday. Hindi pa rin siya nagigising. They tested him for GCS, hindi ko pa alam ang resulta."

"What's that for?"

"Glasgow Coma Score. Para malaman kung may brain injury siyang natamo." He replied.

My lips parted. Brain injury! Oh God. That made it harder to swallow my food.

Chester's car was hit by a truck. He was alone in the car and going home already. The truck's driver was suspected to be drunk and now in police's custody. Si Tito Clark ang nag-aasikaso no'n, ang Daddy ni Chester. Iyon ang sinabi sa amin ni Papa habang nasa biyahe kami.

I'm very worried that when we're on our way to the hospital, I keep dialing my mother's number. Hindi siya sumasagot kaya naman si Tita Val ang tinawagan ko. Nang nasa hospital na kami, si Mama ang sumundo sa amin sa labas. Tita Val notified her.

"Elais," pagod na bati ni Mama sabay yakap sa akin.

She hugged Meana too. Naiwan si Papa sa labas at kaming tatlo lamang ang tumuloy sa loob. Chester is in the ICU and still unconscious. Mama is still wearing her scrub suit. Ihahatid niya lang kami at aalis din agad dahil may trabaho siya.

Sa labas ng kwarto, sa waiting room ay nadatnan ko ang dalawang kaibigan ni Chester at si Tito Clark. Their eyes widened when they saw me and they immediately flocked to me. Kinausap ko sila saglit at pinauna na si Meana sa loob. Mama talked to Tito Clark after I greeted him.

"Yeah, we went in already. The situation is bad but I know he can get through it." Ngumiti si Harry.

Nagpasalamat ako sa kanila. Aalis din daw sila mamaya kaya pumasok na rin ako sa loob. I gasped when I saw what situation is waiting inside. Chester's body is connected to numerous machines, tubes and monitors. May neck brace din siya. I almost cried when I saw Chelsea sitting in the corner, silently watching her brother.

"Aurora!" Mabilis siyang tumayo at tumakbo sa akin.

I smiled painfully and hugged her. She's already a teenager. Hinaplos ko ang likuran niya nang magsimula siyang umiyak. Tita Val who looks so tired while gave a small smile. Nasa dulo ng kama si Meana.

"It's alright, it's alright..." I hushed as Chelsea cried on my shoulder.

Lumabas muna si Chelsea at Tita Val dahil dalawa lang ang pwede sa loob. My heart was breaking inside while watching Chester on the bed. This is so sudden! Why do things like this happen all the time? Why is life this tough sometimes? Nasulyapan ko ang pagpahid ni Meana ng kaniyang pisngi. Yumuko siya at suminghap.

Due to impact, Chester broke his neck