kisses: (noun)
1. a touch or caress with the lips.

✣

Britt heads over to meet me after probation. It's Friday and I really don't want to go home to my parents just yet, I know for a fact my mother is going to shove some new castings down my throat. Thursday night is usually the night she is hit up with offers and Friday is the day I am swarmed.

Luckily I escaped her this morning and I don't wish to engage in any of that nonsense today.

I meet Britt at a coffee shop because I need caffeine and some delicious homemade cake. She's already waiting for me, sitting at the table by the window. When I step in she stands and braces me into a tight hug.

"Hello my delinquent friend," she squeezes me tight and I chuckle.

"Yeah maybe don't say that in public," I mumble under my breath as I pull away.

She frowns and nods. "Yeah, sorry," she shoves her dark hair over her shoulder and sits down opposite me. "I ordered you an iced latte, is that alright? It's fucking hot out and I doubt you want something scalding."

"No it's perfect," I grin back at her. "Thank you."

The waitress brings over our drinks and I down half of mine instantly. "Tough day?"

I shrug once and run my finger around the edge of the glass. "Not tough but I guess my head is just a bit all over the place," I exhale slowly.

Britt leans forward, eyes wide. "Spill the goss then."

My back presses into the chair and I stare into her curious eyes. "With that guy at probation."

She hits the table once with her hand causing me to jump slightly. "I fucking knew it! You've been screwing again, haven't you?"

"Shhhhh," I hiss at her and look around. "Why are you always so damn loud with the private stuff?"

Britt chuckles to herself, she looks pleased. "I bloody knew it, you have."

"Yeah we have, only once. We've done bits but other than that, I don't really know what's going on between us."

"Hmmm, have you spoken to him about it?"

"No!" I exclaim. "Of course I haven't."

"Why not?"

My eyes roll and I bring the cup up to my lips. "Because I don't want to ruin what we already have by scaring him off. He's not out yet because he doesn't even know what he is. But I don't want to change anything we have, I'm enjoying it."

"No communication can lead to heartbreak," Britt says instantly.

"I know but right now I'm just having fun, enjoying his company, the sex, his mouth–"

"Okay, I don't need the details," she waves her hand at me and it's my turn to laugh. "Fine, have your fun. But as soon as you start catching feelings, real feelings. You need to talk to him before this goes south, pretty quickly."

I shrug again. "I can't force him to come out, I don't want to. I know how hard it is. His friends think he's straight, I met two of them today."

Her eyebrows raise at my words. "You did? What are they like?"

"One seems alright, the other kinda just stared me down. It was weird." I begin to shake my head and Britt's expression furrows.

"Yeah, weirdo. How did you meet them?"

"They arrived at placement after we were done to pick him up."

Britt chews on the inside of her mouth and studies me. "This guy, you really like him don't you?"

"I like being with him, yes." At least I can admit that.

"You're in love with him?"

My eyes grow wide at her words and I almost choke on my own spit. "No. I'm not in love with him, we've barely known each other for a couple months now."

"Still, it's a lot of time to spend with each other. Alone."

"Don't say the L word again," I warn her and finish the remainder of my drink. "That shit is far too serious for what we've got going on."

Britt chuckles and sighs, I know she loves to tease me. "Any castings coming up?"

"Probably but I don't run my schedule, remember? Do you?"

"Yeah, I have loads. Even did a casting to be in this movie."

"No way, what movie?"

"Not sure," she hums and looks up at the ceiling. "But it has Channing Tatum in it. So it was an immediate yes."

A laugh passes my lips. "You've been obsessed with him since forever."

"Duhhhh, who isn't?"

"Is it time for cake?"

"A tiny one," Britt pinches her fingers together. "I'm supposed to be on a diet."

"I won't tell, if you don't."

She grins brightly at me and then nods. "Fine, fuck the diet."

✣

When I get home later in the evening my mother is sitting at the kitchen island with paperwork surrounding the worktop, a pen in hand and her iPad in the other. Dark rimmed glasses cover her face and I turn from her before she can stop me because I know what this stance tells me.

"Oh Ash!" She calls out as I reach the stairs.

"Not today mum," I say quietly. "I'm tired and I want to go to sleep."

"But the castings–"

I turn my head towards her. "Can we do this tomorrow? I'm exhausted from probation."

She swipes the glasses from her face and gives me a once over, then she nods. "Fine, goodnight my dear."

"Goodnight."

I carry myself upstairs and jump straight in the shower. Once clean and dry I slip into bed and tap the screen on my phone. A few notifications from Instagram but one instantly catching my attention.

bodihawk1 started following you

My mouth turns dry and I rush to his page, of course it's him. I know no other Bodi's and I instantly recognise him from his icon picture. His page is mostly pictures of his friends, the odd picture of his shirtless body at boxing and some of him on a sunny beach.

I can't help but admire his Godlike abs. So damn beautiful. I can almost remember the feeling of his muscles beneath my fingers. How well he is crafted.

Instantly tapping the follow back button, I don't hesitate to click on the message icon and it drags us to our empty chat.

AshKnight: You stalking me now?

His response is immediate.

bodihawk1: You wish

I smirk and punch out a new message.

AshKnight: Stalker vibes turn me on

Now I wait longer than the first message but after a few moments it comes through.

bodihawk1: You should have said, I would have done this ages ago

AshKnight: Sorry I'll make it clear next time

I chew on my lip knowing I've left the message on a closed answer but somewhere inside of me I pray that he says something in response, something to carry on this conversation so I can stay talking to him.

bodihawk1: How's your Friday eve been?

AshKnight: Yeah, been alright. Just met up with a friend. Wbu?

Are we officially asking each other how our days have been? This might be progress and I didn't see it coming.

bodihawk1: Same, gets boring after a while. Especially when we have to leave early for curfew.

AshKnight: I feel that on another level, can't wait to get this tag off my ankle

bodihawk1: I dunno, I kinda like it now

AshKnight: really?

bodihawk1: Feels like it's my personality now, I've been stamped as a criminal

AshKnight: Don't subject yourself to the justice system when you were protecting a friend

bodihawk1: Least someone has my side on it

AshKnight: They never want to see it from our side, they just want to catch someone doing something wrong

bodihawk1: And that is what is fucked with the world.

AshKnight: sadly

When Bodi doesn't respond I sigh and click on Netflix, drowning myself in a new series before I drift off to sleep.

✣

Monday morning rolled around far too slowly for my liking, somehow seeing Bodi is the highlight of my week and that's sad as it is. I could never admit that to him.

I'd also never suggest meeting up outside of probation, that would be weird. Would he think that was weird?

He's been over to my house after probation and I guess that doesn't really count. But considering our little chat on Friday night, I could drop something in cautiously. Then again, I don't want to ruin what we have.

Fuck my mind.

When I arrive at placement on Monday morning the place is deserted. That same feeling of unsteadiness creeps up my skin as I step food through the manor, my eyes are open and my ears are alert. I creep around, I know no one is here but it feels like there is.

It always feels like there is this unknown presence here and it doesn't make me feel welcome.

I creep around for what feels like forever, some rooms colder than others. The hairs on the back of my neck begin to spike and I turn feeling like someone is right behind me but they aren't, there is no one there.

My heart thrashes inside of my chest and I squeeze my eyes together a couple of times.

Get over yourself, Ash. It's just an old manor, your mind is messing with you.

I attempt to start moving stuff in the kitchen but a high pitched whistling sound rumbles through my ear and I am left struck. My blood turns cold and everything inside me begins to panic, what the fuck was that?

And where the hell is Bodi?

A hot pang of breath hits my ear and I yell, so loudly that I can hear my own echo. I am shuddering with fear because I cannot see anything, I can only feel it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I want out. I want out now.

Loud footsteps are heard from the front of the manor and I am stuck to the spot in the kitchen, eyes still wide with terror.

They come closer and I hate how tense my chest has become. Then Bodi's head pokes around the kitchen door and I finally take a breath of relief, he steps in instantly and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I promised I'd be here before you were." Bodi is panting, did he fucking run here?

"It's okay," my voice is wobbly.

Bodi assesses my clear distress and steps closer. "It's not, are you okay?"

"I hate this place... so much."

"I thought my dad left me the car but he didn't, I had to walk," he presses a hand to his chest. "But then I ended up running because I knew you'd be alone here."

My heart flutters at his words and it relaxes me a fraction or two. "You ran here? Honestly, I would have been fine. I'm just creeping myself out, I think."

"It's alright," he steps closer and places his hands on my shoulders. The warmth spreading through my spooked body instantly. "Let's just get some shit done, I know Carol is going to be around later to set us new tasks for the week."

I nod my head and follow him into the back room. We sort through piles of rubbish together, we move the furniture, sweep and then mop the floors. Discarding all the broken stuff into the skip and keeping the savable items into another pile.

"Let's move this last table and we can take a break," Bodi suggests as he pats the wooden oak table that is splintered and missing half a leg.

"Sure," I nod and I follow his lead, picking it up at the sides and carrying it outside.

The sun hits my face instantly and I feel better for being outside than in the manor. Summer has definitely helped this situation because it gives off good vibes opposed to the winter when it's dark and gloomy. I'd stay at home if we had to do it then.

We lift up the table and throw it into the skip at the same time, listening to the wood crunch. I stand and place my hands onto my hips for a second, staring up at the beaming light and enjoying the warmth that spreads through my face.

I drop my head back down when I hear Bodi's footsteps move closer towards me, peeling the dusty gloves from his hands. Then when he's merely a couple inches from me he places a finger underneath my chin and tilts my face up to his.

He leans forward and covers my mouth with his own, catching my lips in a sweet and delicate kiss. One that I certainly wasn't expecting today.

I melt into the floor, into the kiss, into his mouth. God, I wanna be in his mouth forever.

Bodi doesn't rush, there is nothing to rush. But he sure takes control of the kiss and that has my insides turning to mush. I know that I have a crush but now this feels like falling, falling so deeply that I don't even know if I can get back up.

✣

Author's Note
Read up to chapter 37 on Patreon. Link in bio!

Hello my huns. What did we think of this chapter?

Why are they so cute? I can't deal🥺🥺🥺

Anyone thinking calm before the storm... hehehe author of mass destruction

Any inklings as to what might happen next?

See you all on the next one, love Savanna x

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