rejected: (verb)
1. a person or thing dismissed as inadequate or unacceptable.

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We part ways as soon as Carol signs us out. I could still feel the presence of his hand on my dick, working it like magic. God, it felt like magic. My own hand could never. Now I had to accept that I have a few days without seeing him.

Re-imagining what we did to each other. His lips, they tasted sweet and his cock. Oh that felt even better in my hand. The way it grew by touching it. I never wanted it to stop, even if I know that I'm bad for him. Bad, bad news.

When I get home my father is back from work early, he's standing in the kitchen. As soon as he sees me he beckons his head down to the basement. "Come on," he says, removing himself from the stool. "Time to train."

"We trained until eleven last night, dad." I grumble. "Can't I have the night off? It's Friday and I've made plans to see my friends."

His eyes narrow in my direction and he folds his arms over his chest, displeased with my response. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious," I breathe through my teeth. Not wanting to back down. "I need time to rest, you worked me to the bone last night. And don't think I'm not still pissed at what you told me earlier."

My father rolls his eyes. "You're still not over that?"

"Not when you do things behind my back, especially when I say that I wanted to tell them. Not you, it makes me look like a coward. Like I have something to hide!" I don't mean for my voice to raise but I can't help it and I can tell it doesn't sit well with my dad.

"I am pretty much your manager."

"No you're not." I cut over him.

He waves off the conversation. "Training. Professionals don't rest. They power on, they keep going until they physically can't anymore."

"No dad," I snap, feeling my hands shake beside my body. "Professionals rest, that's why they're so good at what they do. Because they give themselves time to rest, time to themselves so they don't go absolutely batshit crazy."

My father scoffs and I resist the urge to lose control. "You've got that completely wrong, Bodi."

"No I don't," I shake my head before walking towards the stairs. "I'm going out with my friends tonight because I deserve it. Don't try and stop me."

I pass him and turn my head, running straight for the shower. A part of me feels lighter, standing up to my dad has never felt so thrilling, so liberating. He could come charging up here any given moment but I hear no movement downstairs.

Hopefully he's got the message. Especially after telling my sponsors and future connections about being on tag, breaking the law. Fuck knows what he said, how he said it. Probably made me out to be a complete cocky git, too smug to even tell them myself.

I rid myself of dirt, sweat and semen we didn't get to clean up before Carol burst into the manor. Then I dress myself into something casual but comfortable before heading out of the house, not once looking back at my father.

Elijah's parents are out of town so he's invited a few friends over, a small catch up and a couple beers and then I have to be back for curfew. It won't get crazy but I need the distraction, I need something else to think about other than my father, boxing or Ash for that matter.

My hand raises to brush my knuckles against Elijah's front door, he opens it with a beer in hand and grins. "You're late."

"I am?" I respond, moving past him and towards the sound of the thumping music.

Elijah's house is perfect for parties or gatherings, he has an open plan kitchen through to the dining room and a massive conservatory.

I walk through the house and catch eyes with Reese who nods at me along with some of Elijah's friends from school that I wasn't that close with but I enjoy their company. Then I turn to the other end of the room, instantly spotting that long blonde hair.

Ciara jumps up from her seat and practically runs across the room towards me, her arms wide as she smiles brightly. Her hands wrap around the back of my neck and she jumps on me, kissing my face over and over. Getting a little too close to my lips.

The lips Ash had been all over merely hours ago. The only lips I want anywhere near me.

"Hey you," she beams up at me, clutching onto me like a koala bear. "I've missed you so much. You've barely been responding to my texts."

"I've been busy, sorry," I respond.

Her eyebrows scrunch up and she releases her hands, finally giving me a moment to breathe. "What's up with you?"

My head shakes. "Nothing," I force out a smile. "Just a long day at placement."

Her blue eyes sparkle at me, she takes my wrist and pulls me over to the kitchen counter. Grabbing a bottle of beer before cracking the lid on the table top, I almost cringe. Elijah will kill her for doing that, even I can see the small chip on the edge.

"Here," she thrusts the bottle in my direction.

"Thanks," I nod, taking it from her fingers.

"So what's been going on with you?" She tilts her head and places a hand on her hip. "Missed you last weekend, that stupid storm."

I smile to the floor. "Yeah, that stupid storm," I repeat. "Shame we couldn't get together."

Ciara pouts at me and takes one step closer, a hand now wrapped around my bicep. The feeling alien, almost sickened to my stomach. But when I think about Ash doing it, there is nothing else I'd want. Him touching me is like an angel from heaven but when Ciara does it, it's like someone has dragged me through the depths of hell.

It feels odd. It feels wrong.

Then I remember Ash's words from earlier. Just go with it, if it feels right.

It's always felt right with him. I'm just too much of a coward to go for it. I can't go for it. No one can know, what will people think?

"It's been too long," she catches my attention again. "Don't you miss me?"

I glance over her face, down to her doll-like lips. She's beautiful. Ciara has always been beautiful. There has been a time that I thought I really liked Ciara, that maybe she could have been my girlfriend. But things have changed, so many things have changed.

The thought of her body against mine repulses me. I don't even get a twich down there.

Absolutely nothing. Yet she's stunning. Her face, her body. Even her personality. But that spark, it's not there anymore. And I can't help how I feel. I can't force something that isn't there.

"Bodi?"

I blink once and raise the beer to my lips, trying to save myself time.

"You've really not been acting like yourself," she frowns and inspects my expression.

"I'm sorry," I shake my head. "Just been under a lot of pressure."

Ciara's lips twitch and she strokes my arm. "Well I could help you with all that pressure," her voice dips to a smooth seductive tone. "If you'd like. Distract you from what's going on inside your head, in your life. Forget about it all and just let me do the work for you."

I take a large step back, shaking my head vigorously. I can't even meet her eyes. "I can't Ciara, sorry."

"Have I done something?"

"No," I flick my eyes up to hers. Now reading the deep embedded hurt inside of them, the kind that makes me feel like a total dick. I wish she could understand but I can't risk telling anyone, I can't. "You've done nothing, Ciara. I'm just not feeling up to much lately."

"You said you didn't want anything too serious between us so soon anyway," she clears her throat and begins to pour herself a drink.

I furrow my eyebrows at her words. "And they're not, we're not in a relationship."

"I know," she avoids my gaze and knocks back her drink. "You made that clear from the start, I just don't know where we stand."

"We're just chilling, aren't we?"

Ciara chews on her red lip and flicks her hair over her shoulder. "I guess," she shrugs.

"I was never unclear with what I wanted," I tell her honestly. "I said nothing serious and you agreed."

"I know," she sighs. "I just like your company."

My expression falls. "I like your company too." That's not a lie. We've always got on so well, like a house on fire. We can laugh and chat without running out of things to say.

This makes her smile and I feel slightly better inside, only just a little.

"Let's go chat with the others," I beckon my head to the group around the sofa area. I catch Jules' eyes on the way, she gives me a wave and I replicate her actions. Jules is Ciara's best friend, I like them together. They're always fun, the life and soul of the party.

Ciara follows me as I plonk myself down to Reese, he ruffles my hair and I say hello to Elijah's other friends. Reese lowers his lips to my ear and flicks his finger to Ciara who is now standing with Jules. "You better be banging that tonight."

My face scrunches up and I shake my head in disgust. "Why are you so up in my business about banging Ciara?" I snap a little too aggressively.

Reese blinks a couple times before drawing back. "Woah," he gives me a puzzled look. "It was just a joke."

I tut almost silently and swig half of my beer. "Well stop, it's getting boring."

"What the fuck crawled into your ass and died?"

I roll my eyes and focus on Elijah's conversation with his friends instead. My eyes are looking at the clock, only a few hours before I need to head home. I could definitely get a few more beers down me, play some PlayStation and order in a pizza.

Twenty minutes before I need to leave I head to the toilet, not expecting Jules to be waiting outside for me. "Hey," I say before grabbing my beer from the side.

"Hi," she wraps herself up in her denim jacket. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure."

She purses her lips and then rubs them together. "You know that Ciara really likes you right?"

"Yes."

"And she's hoping that someday you're going to turn around and ask her to be your girlfriend."

I run a hand over my tired face and mutter out a breath. "I've told her that what we had is nothing serious," I grumble. "She said about an hour ago she knows that."

Jules gives me a knowing look. "We are talking about Ciara here."

"I know but I'm not leading her on, I've told her exactly what I want, what I'm looking for. We went on a few dates, hooked up a couple times. It's nothing serious and I said that I enjoy her company. She's a good person." I ramble on and Jules holds my stare.

"I think she's going to get hurt."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "I don't know how much clearer I can get with her. If she gets hurt then that's not my doing, it's on her own accord. I'm not leading her on, we've barely had sex lately. I don't want her getting the wrong idea."

Jules closes her eyes and nods. "I know," she breathes quietly. "She just wears her heart on her sleeve and she never knows when to quit."

"Then we need to find her a boyfriend," I joke but this has Jules nodding.

"I think you're right, she needs to get over you with some new meat."

I find myself chuckling. "New meat indeed."

"Thanks for being honest with her, Bodi. A lot of guys wouldn't even have the decency. They'd play her and leave her completely broken. She knows what she's getting herself in for if she keeps this up." Jules huffs and swipes her fringe from her face.

"I like Ciara, a lot. But right now it's just not going to work for me."

Jules shakes her head. "You don't need to explain yourself to me, Bodi. You do what's best for you."

"Oi, you guys!" Reese shouts over at us and we turn our attention towards him. "We're playing beer pong. Come join."

I check my watch again and sigh deeply. "I've got to go in a bit."

"Owww man," Reese grumbles.

"Sorry, I can't break the law."

Elijah approaches me and gives me a hug, a sway in his step. "Thanks for coming," he mumbles and I slap his back with my hand.

"No worries, have a good night."

"Bye," they wave me off and I head home.

Luckily when I walk through the front door my father must already be in bed, so I head to my own. I strip my clothes and climb into bed, feeling my body slump against the mattress. I didn't drink enough to get a hangover but I definitely don't feel completely sober.

I play with my phone in my hands and click on the Instagram app, scrolling through the endless feed of memes and boxing, the occasional friend. The same old boring shit.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm typing in Ash's name into the search bar. His account comes up instantly as the first result. I still can't get over his seventy thousand followers.

My eyes scan through the pictures, a few more have been posted since Reese showed me his account a few weeks ago. I click on the first picture and scroll down, drinking in every feature and prominent curve of his face and body.

I feel myself begin to clench, each picture making me catch my breath.

Ash is a stunning person. Symmetrical and so easy on the eye. No wonder he makes modelling look effortless, every pose and every facial expression. He looks too good.

There is not one bad picture on his feed and there are hundreds. From PRADA shoots to Topman. I've never seen so many funky outfits and extravagant backgrounds.

Then I think back to earlier today. His body against mine, his hands moving against me.

I close my eyes and lock my phone, dropping it to the centre of my chest.

My head shakes and I run my hands through the top of my hair. "You're losing your mind, Bodi. You're losing your fucking mind."

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Author's Note
Read up to chapter 32 on Patreon. Link in bio!

Hello my loves. What did you guys think of this chapter?

Who suspects Ciara might be a bit of trouble in the future?🤔

Also I love Bodi stalking Ash's instagram haha we've all been there at one point...😂

I've posted Bodi's POV from their one-night stand over on my Patreon. It's available for tiers Ruby and above. You can drop me a message with any questions you have!

Thanks for reading huns. Don't forget to vote.

Love, Savanna x

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