abandoned: (adjective)
1. having been deserted or left.

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"Oh my God, Mum!" I exclaim, extending my hands up to the ceiling and then throwing them down on top of my head. "Do you even hear yourself right now?"

My mum glares back at me with her hands on her hips. "If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be getting any of these castings and call backs!"

I laugh to myself bitterly. "Without me you wouldn't be getting any money to buy this house in LA that you've been pining after. My hard work and you want to buy a house in LA with the money I've earned."

"How dare you! I do all of this for you and you throw it back in my face like it's nothing?" Her voice grows louder and echoes off the walls aggressively.

"Because you've completely controlled my life, mum. What about what I want?"

Her eyes flick between mine frantically and I grit my teeth, growling inside like a fucking animal. I couldn't stand this anymore. This stupid conversation we have every damn week and yet she still doesn't care. She doesn't give one shit.

"I've built up an amazing portfolio and connections with some of the best agencies and brands," she folds her arms across her chest and glowers at me. "You really want to throw that all away?"

I scoff and look up at the ceiling, poking my tongue through my cheek. "I'm so sick and tired of this shit. No matter what I say, you always come back with something twice as ridiculous. A house in LA? Don't you think I know what that means."

My mum runs a hand through her dark hair, composing herself for what she's about to say. "There are so many amazing opportunities in LA, the world would be our oyster." She takes a step forward, her voice finally dropping. Trying to win me over.

"And does dad know about this? What about his job?!" I exasperate. "I doubt he has the faintest clue what's going on with you and your fantasy ideas."

Her head shakes once. "That is something to discuss with your father later."

My eyes roll painfully and I shake my head, unable to rid my body of this pure frustration.

"Come on Ash," she pleads with me. Standing a couple inches away. "How amazing would that be... LA? You can't deny that it would be fabulous."

I tut and then laugh, humourlessly. "I cannot believe you. You're never going to listen to me and what I want. You are not acting like a mother right now."

She recoils from my words, her face now drenched with poison. "I beg your pardon."

My foot takes one step backwards and I reach for my coat, needing to exhale this anger before I start saying somethings that I really didn't mean. "I'm going, don't expect me back tonight. Tomorrow or whenever because I don't live on your schedule anymore."

"Ha!" She laughs once, a sarcastic one at that. "Go on, leave. See how you'll survive without me."

I slide my jacket onto my body and head for the front door, opening it wide and slamming it as hard as possible for dramatic effect. The action speaks a thousand more volumes than any words I could ever say to her.

My hand routes through my pocket and I dig out my phone. I remembered an old friend from school had texted me earlier in the week, asking if I wanted to meet this Friday. Considering I didn't really have anyone else to meet up with at such late notice, this would have to do.

I had to get out of that house before I exploded and tore the whole thing down with my mother inside. That is how much she drives me insane, so much that sometimes I don't think she is using her brain when she comes out with these things.

She purposely ignores my demands for more control over what I do but I know that if I don't turn up to castings and callbacks, they'll never trust me again and I need money. Especially if I want to move out and try something new for a job, I'll need the funds.

My fingers quickly punch out a text to my friend, Oscar and ask where they're out at the moment. I head towards town because they're most likely to be that way but I haven't seen him in a couple months, along with some other friends from school.

They're good friends to hang out with and have fun but I guess there is a reason that I don't see them all the time. They like to get drunk, party and have no aspirations in life. Sometimes being with them puts my life into perspective and I realise that I've outgrown them. But for this situation it's perfect because I want to get drunk and rebel against my mother and her stupid wishes.

Finally show to her how I feel and if that means not coming home for a few days then I mean it.

Oscar soon responds telling me his location, I bring it up on the map instantly and furrow my eyes at the blue dot. In the middle of the forest in a building that wasn't named. I grow even more confused as I zoom in and out, writing back to Oscar to make sure the location is right.

You'll see when you get here, it's lit.

I huff out a breath and shrug, what the hell have I got to lose?

On the way I pass an off-licence and pop in to grab some beers. I can't show up without anything, especially if they're having a party.

I follow the path on the map to make sure that I'm going the right way, the sun hadn't completely set yet but the sky was certainly getting darker and I'd rather get there sooner or later. Especially in these creepy ass woods.

Soon I approach a large building, one that has decaying bricks and growing ivy. I could hear a thumping base coming from inside and I walk straight towards the broken front door.

When I step in I glance around, this place is abandoned and they're using it to have a party of their own. Fair play to them for the creativity.

There are some people I recognise and others I have no clue who they are. I spot Oscar from across the room and his eyes light up when they meet me. "Hey man," he grins, pulling me into a side hug.

"Hey," I say before holding up the beers. "I brought these."

"My guy," he claps a hand down on my back and I place them down onto the side. I offer him one before taking one for myself, I press the lid of the glass bottle onto the edge of the damaged table and use my fist to bump it off.

When I turn Oscar already has his bottle undone and waiting for me to clink his. "Cheers," he says deeply before taking a large gulp of the liquid, I follow his actions and smile. "Come meet some people."

"Sure," I say as I follow him into the other room.

It doesn't take long for me to be introduced to some of Oscar's friends. Some are dancing, some smoking, others lounging around the rotten furniture talking, drinking and relaxing.

"How did you hear about this place?" I ask Oscar as I move onto my seventh beer, my words slurring slightly.

His hand clenches my shoulder and he moves his mouth closer to my ear. "We've been looking for a place to occupy for parties and things like this. We just went for a walk in the woods one day and came across this place, we scoped it out first. Made sure it was okay, Googled it online. Hasn't been owned in like forever."

"It doesn't smell either," I comment.

Oscar chuckles and nods. "You're right, it doesn't. Surprisingly."

"Thanks for inviting me out," I say.

"No worries man, we've been friends for years and we don't see each other that much. It's nice to hang out with you again."

"Agreed."

I have no idea what time it gets to, or that I care because I'm having such a good time. Drinking, talking and just not being anywhere near my mother. This is the perfect distraction for everything that is going on in my mind.

At around eleven o'clock I slip out the back door to go to the toilet, up against a tree. My vision is slightly blurry and there is a sway in my stance but I smile at the tree like an idiot.

There is a slight scream that comes from inside the house but I don't think anything of it, then a small crash and rustling. Probably those boys being idiots and deciding to fight each other.

When I zip up my trousers and walk back into the house, my mouth runs dry at the sight of blue flashing lights that cascades through the windows and onto the stained walls.

I breathe in harshly when I see people scrambling through the broken windows, the front doors.

"Stop right there!" A police officer steps into view and my eyes widen.

My feet take one step back then another, I attempt to turn to run but my feet get caught up behind each other and I go tumbling to the floor with a loud thud. I groan when my face hits the ground, aching my cheek instantly.

A pair of hands grab my wrists and roughly place them behind my back. "You are being arrested on suspicion of trespassing on private property and vandalism. You do not have to say anything.But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence."

I start panting, unexpectedly. Wait was this really happening or am I stupidly drunk and I've passed out in the garden?

Then I am forced up, my feet barely scraping the floor as I am manhandled. "You kids think you're so above everyone else these days," he grumbles, shaking his head in disapproval.

I don't say anything to him, I keep my head low. Fuck. They're going to take me to the police station and the only person who can bail me out is my parents. Oh joy, that's going to be a fun phone call.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I think my mother will leave me to rot in those cells but at the same time, she's a gossip and will want to know every single detail of what happened whilst shouting at me that I am an irresponsible child.

Maybe this will get her to listen.

Prove to her that her actions result in me doing this. If she gave me freedom and some breathing space then I wouldn't have to run from her company because I can't stand her sometimes.

I'm soon put into the police car and taken to the station.

I just wish I had eaten something before now because I am ravenous.

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My mouth shuts so I can take another swig of Bodi's rum, realising that I haven't spoken about this in such grave detail before. I almost forgot parts of the story myself. In my head it was like one big blur but now I've dissected it, it only makes me more angry at the situation.

"Wow," Bodi exhales as he throws his head back to the wall. "Well for one your mum sounds crazy. No offence."

"None taken."

"Can't you just tell her you don't want to do modelling anymore?" His head tilts but he doesn't sound patronising.

I bite down on my lip and hand him back the bottle. "I have nothing else to fall back on. I barely got any GCSEs. She pulled me out of doing any A-Levels so I could focus on modelling. If I quit now, fuck knows what I'll do because I never went to university or found other hobbies. This is my life now."

Bodi is quiet and I slowly drag my eyes over his. He's looking at the patch of floor just beside me and he nods. "Yeah that sounds shit." He sighs, taking a sip of the alcohol.

"Welcome to my world," I force out a sarcastic smile.

"What happened to your friends that night?"

"No one else got arrested but me, they all got away."

Bodi flashes me a pained expression, one that screams I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and I find myself nodding. "Did they message you after?"

"Nope," I sigh. "Not a peep, probably because they didn't want to get themselves associated with my 'criminal activities'."

"They're shit friends." His voice echoes between the hall walls.

I nod once. "Sure are. Won't be seeing them again."

"Least you didn't snitch," he hugs his knees closer to his chest.

"I'd never snitch," I clarify. "I might look like someone who would drag everyone else under the bus with me because of my career, but that is far from the truth. I am not like that at all."

The corners of Bodi's mouth twitches up. "I know, I've come to realise that."

Our eyes meet for a few moments, moments that scorched my heart and made me feel all hot under the collar. I lick my dry lips and nod my head over to him. "What about you?" I find myself saying. "Why are you here?"

Bodi's eyes float to the ceiling and he blows out a bigger breath than I did telling my story, that's when I know it's about to get juicy. And I'm not one for gossip but the thought of learning more about Bodi's life made my brain switch on quicker than a lightbulb.

If he's about to open up then I'm going to absorb every second of it.

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Author's Note
Read up to chapter 24 on Patreon. Link in bio!

Hello my loves. What did you think of this chapter?

Ash has really had some shitty friends in the past!

It's Bodi's turn to open up next. Who's excited to listen to his story?

Update will be on Wednesday as per, hope you enjoy this lil update today!

Love Savanna x

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