Kocher stadium looked daunting at night. The abandoned structure held a sense of formidable energy every time I came across it. The chilly breeze didn't help with my anxiety. Clamminess took over my body as we made our way to the entrance. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say to him. Did I even want to talk to him?

We came to the entrance and before she took a step forward, Gorya sensed my hesitation. "Are you ok?" She turned to me and stopped in front of me, with a concerned look on her face. I scratched my arm, "Maybe you should go in. I'll wait in the car."

She looks back at the stadium and then at me, "Are you nervous to see Ren?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down, "I don't think it's a good idea." She softly smiles and pats my shoulder, "I bet he's hoping to see you."

I scoff and shook my head, "I don't think you'd win in that bet."

"No, seriously. I bet he wants to talk to you just as much as you do."

My foot tapped against the dirt as I thought of what to do. I wanted to go, but my thoughts were telling me the opposite. You're stupid enough to think he'd want to talk to you?  He hates you. But, I know he doesn't. I shook my head away from those degrading thoughts,  "All right. I'll go."

Gorya smiled and hooked her arm in mine. We both make our way to the guys, stepping into the drafty stadium. Gorya and I stop as soon as we see the four guys standing in the middle of the murky water in the stadium's center.

"You are so selfish."

I heard Thyme's spiteful tone. Gorya looks at me as we quietly peeked around the corner. We both watched as they had their conversation. 

Ren scoffs as Thyme continues, "You don't think about how you affect others. Stop using Gorya."

"What? You think I used Gorya?" Ren combed his hand through his muggy, wet hair. He licks his lips before looking at Thyme straight, "I would never use her. I care about her too much, as my friend to have that intention."

"So, what are your intentions exactly? Causing a rift between her and Nova? A drift between us?" Thyme asks, his hands clenched on his sides. 

Ren replied, "Your problem is your assumptions about us. Gorya and I just hugged. Your insecurity got the best of you."

Ren steps in front of Thyme and pushes his shoulder, "You'd rather talk with your fists than your words. I bet Gorya hates that, right? You wouldn't understand though." Thyme's enraged attitude sparked a wave of anger in him as he looked at his best friend. MJ places his hand on Thyme's chest, pushing him back before they got into another fistfight, "All right. Let's not fight anymore."

Thyme shrugged off his hand as he punched Ren's face. Ren staggered back as MJ and Kavin yelled at Thyme, "Stop!"

Ren recovered from the jab and went to punch Thyme. Kavin tries to hold him back as MJ had Thyme. "Ren stop it already."

He shrugged Kavin's hands from his arms, "This is what I'm talking about. Do you still believe I'm the reason Gorya is so hesitant about you? Look at you."

Thyme's chest heaves as Ren looks at him. Kavin says, "Ren, lay off. Fuck!" Ren looked toward Kavin as he asks, "What's your problem?"

"You! Both of you!" Kavin yelled. All three guys looked at him in silence as Kavin kicked the water, "I got fucking punched, broke my glasses–all because of your bullshit." He points between Thyme and Ren. He shook his head as he looks at Thyme, "You broke the group up because of a girl? Is that what we are? Jealous pricks who are territorial over people now?"

Thyme looks down as Kavin said, "I don't care what you both do. But the fact you are involving us, the whole group in your mess? You seriously think Gorya would look at both of you and pick any one of you?"

He looked at Ren and delivered an attack, "And you. You think you'd treat women better than Thyme but, you two are the same."

"It isn't my business but, the way you treat Nova is unacceptable man. Before you attack anyone about Gorya. Motherfucker, worry about your fiancée first," Kavin cursed. Ren blinked and held his tongue.

Kavin scratched the nape of his neck and wiped the sweat that stuck to his skin, "I'm tired. You two can stay here and fight all night long. I'm done." Kavin trudged along the cold "pond", flicking his damp sleeve in annoyance. MJ looked between the two opposing sides as he pats both of their shoulders, "Talk it out, please."

Thyme clenched his jaw as Ren sent a small nod. MJ backs out and follows Kavin to the exit. Kavin met eye contact with Gorya and me as he walked towards the exit. He chuckled as he turned around, "Hey! Your girlfriends are here. Maybe they can solve this shit." Ren and Thyme looked toward us but, I avoided looking at Ren. Kavin looked at both of us and held his hands, his palms stuck together, and pleaded, "Please save them."

Gorya inspected Kavin's bruised face and released air from her nose, "We got it." I weakly smiled at MJ and Kavin, mouthing "Thank you."

They both smiled at us before walking out–their sore cheeks straining from it. Gorya sighed and started walking towards Thyme. My feet hesitated before descending the steps to the platform. I dipped my foot into the water, making my ankles and feet soaked immediately. I followed Gorya with a few steps in between us, but I only stared at the floor. Never once taking a glance at Ren. Thyme seemed to walk towards us and Gorya sighed taking his hand in hers. "Come on," she said tugging him behind her. I looked at Thyme who held a confused expression on his battered face, raising his eyebrows at me. I slightly tilted my head to the side, signaling him to just follow along. When the two walked out of the stadium, leaving me and Ren alone–the air felt suffocating.

I massaged my lips together as I finally looked at Ren who was looking at everything but me. My eyes surveyed his body, his bruise face, and bruised knuckles. Without saying a word, I turned to walk away–expecting him to follow, which he did. We both made our way out of the water, my socks felt disgusting in my mesh shoes. I grimaced as I felt the grim and dirt touch my skin. I practically ran up the steps, taking off my shoes and pouring water out of them. Ren also walked behind me and I asked, "Did you guys really have to fight in this grimy place? Couldn't you pick a better setting?"

Ren's lips tugged at an angle, as he only watched me put my shoes back on. I wiped my hands on my thighs, the breeze kissing my ankles sending a chill over my lower half. I said, "It's late so, we should get going. Is your face..."

I motioned my hand over my face as he replied, "I'm fine."

"Ok."

...

We walked in silence. At night, the campus held a certain appeal. I preferred this setting–street lamps illuminating the walkway against the dark. Only our steps filled the silence. I guess we were both waiting for someone to speak first. He suddenly stopped and I looked behind me. He gazed up at the stars, a small smile on his lips. His hair was surprisingly dry and the lights shone over his distinctive features. God, he's beautiful even with the bruised lip. I looked up as well and a couple of shooting stars flashed by.

"Did you make a wish?"

I glanced at him and shook my head, "No, they were too fast for me to even think of anything." I turned to him and asked, "Did you?"

His eyes looked away from mine as if he was in deep thought. "I did," he said.

My eyes flickered as I held back the question playing on my mind, what is it? He looked at the field next to the pavement and pointed his thumb towards it, "Do you want to sit on the field?".

"Won't we get caught by security?"

He turned to face me, walking backward, "Well, I'm here." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Of course, your highness. No one would dare to punish you." He shook his head and stopped at a spot on the grass. He took off his jacket and laid it on the grass. He sat on one side, and he looked at me, "Sit here." I hesitantly looked around me for any guards but, saw no one near us. Ren sat on his jacket gazing at the stars as I walked on the dry grass, sitting next to him. Our shoulders almost touched, but the space between us prevented contact. My arms hugged my knees as we sat in silence, listening to a number of crickets croak.

"How are you?"

I looked at him and saw he was playing with the grass. My legs settled down in a crisscross, "I'm better." I turned to look at him, "And you? You took a beating today."

He sighed, "A little sore, but I'll be fine tomorrow."

I nodded, feeling awkward at this moment. I picked at my thumb, my skin tearing from my nail, "I want to say..."

Ren looked at me and noticed my picking as I muttered, "Sorry. For this morning and thank you for taking me home." He observed me and I looked away.

"You shouldn't pick your thumb."

I looked at him in surprise, "That's it? I apologized and that's what you say?"

"You didn't wash your hands, and the germs can infect your finger," he said. I scoffed, "If you arent's taking me seriously then, I'm going."

I placed my hands on the ground, to create some leverage and stood up. His hand shot up to hold mine, "Wait. I'm sorry." I paused and looked at him, his eyes diving into mine with sincerity. I pursed my lips together as he asks me, "Please can you stay? I won't do anything stupid or try to get on your nerves. I promise."

I looked at his hand, "I'll stay...you don't have to hold my hand."

"Oh right, sorry," he said and let go. I felt the war sensation of his fingers on my hand, the breeze replacing it. I closed my hand into a fist as I took my seat next to him and waited.

"I... You–" he looks at me and I blankly met his eyes. Ren had a boyish look as he looked flustered about what to say to me. "About this morning...you shouldn't have to apologize at all. It was all my fault. I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, I'm sorry about Gorya, and everything that happened."

He sighed, "You don't deserve what I've done to you. I owe you more than just apologies. I have no explanation or excuse. I...just shifted all the anger I had with my father to you and I am so sorry."

I opened my mouth but he interrupted, "Not that I am putting all the blame on my dad. I know that this is all my fault."

I nodded, "You know–"

"I just want you to know that I regret everything."

I blinked and tilted my head, waiting for another interruption. Ren scratched his head, "And–" I immediately held my hand up, "Can I speak for a moment?" He nodded, "Sure."

My lips hid my smile as I said, "I hear you. And I appreciate your apologies. So, let's not rush into saying things. I feel like your head will blow up with how fast you're talking."

Ren flushed in embarrassment, "Ha. I'm bad at conveying my feelings like this."

I smiled, "I understand."

"I was angry and immature. I felt like I had no control over my life ever since Mira and I broke things off. I know what this engagement means to you and your mom. It just felt so unfair, and I was combative to you."

I glanced at him before asking, "Do you mind if...I ask what happened between you two? You and Mira?"

Ren didn't answer–it seemed he didn't want to answer at all. He sighed, "Being with her for a few months in France was...all I could ask for. She was..." He avoided eye contact and stared at the grass, "...the love of my life for over 10 years."

I bit my lip as I listened, "But, as much as I told myself it could work." He shrugged, "It wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for her."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"Before she came back to Thailand. It was just a year she was gone. One year in France. I guess that's all it takes to change. She's in college, I'm a senior in high school. She wants to become a humanitarian, travel around the world to help people, and is creating a non-profit organization of her own. My trajectory is to become the chairman of my father's hospital."

He sighed, "I felt like a weight on her shoulders. A burden. I saw how big of a gap there was between us. Something I never saw before because I was blinded by this illusion, I had of her and me."

My eyes flickered, sadness creeping in my chest as he continued, "I found out she had an ex., Dominque. He is a hotshot from a big law firm in the US but moved to France. She was interested in law at one point–becoming a lawyer." 

He sat back, his arms supporting him, and said, "Now, she and Dominque are engaged...a few weeks after we broke things off."

"I'm sorry," I said.

He smiled at me, "Don't be. I don't have any regrets, she doesn't either. I am glad I got to do something for her, even if it meant letting her go."

I sent a sad smile and ducked my head, my eyes welling up from his story. He looked at me out of concern, "Are you ok?"

I looked up at him, my tears running down my cheeks, "That is so sad." I wailed in my hands as I wiped away the tears. Regretting that I didn't bring a jacket with me. He was flustered and scooted from his seat. He offered his jacket's sleeve and patted my cheeks, "Ok...ok stop crying."

I held his slightly damp sleeve and scrunched my eyebrow, "You sit on this and you want me to wipe my face with it?" He took it from my hand and patted my cheeks, "It's better than having snot all over your hands. Blow and wipe your nose on it."

I sniffled, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

I hesitantly brought the sleeve to my nose, catching a sniff of his clean, washed scent. I blew on it–boogers and snot spewed on the fabric. I nervously laughed as I wiped my nose in embarrassment. He smiled but ticked his lips, "How do you cry so much from that?"

I folded the sleeve and pouted, "I couldn't help myself. I truly was rooting for you guys."

"I don't think I've ever heard of a person wish for their fiancee to be together with an ex," he teased.

I narrowed my puffy eyes, "You know what I mean. I'll wash this for you, thanks."

"I can wash it."

I stopped his hand from taking the sleeve, "No, my snot is on this. Do you really want to touch it?" He sent me an incredulous look, "I can handle snot and boogers."

"No," I turned my upper body away from him, holding the sleeve on my heart. He tugs on it, but my hold refuses to let go. His eyes sparkled with an idea and he tugs it with more strength, forcing me to lean toward him. "Oy!", I exclaimed as he held the sleeve in one hand and my arm in the other. My eyes widened as I faced him, our noses a few centimeters away from touching. I instantly hid my lips, which he catches. He met my eyes, those dazzling, dark eyes peering into mine. Ren smirked and took the sleeve from my loosened grip and let go of my arm–creating some distance between us. I blinked and he stood up, dragging the jacket underneath me, my butt touching the grass.

I looked up at him, bewildered, "Hey! That wasn't fair."

He folded the jacket and tucked it under one arm. His free hand extended out to me. I looked at his hand and him with an annoyed expression. He chuckled, "Are you going to sit here all night or stand?" I took his hand and he helped me stand–yanking my hand. I yelped as our bodies touched; I looked up at him and he was looking down at me. I gulped as I took a step back, wiping my hands on my shirt.

I cleared my throat, "If you want to wash my snot then be my guest." He didn't answer as I walked ahead towards the parking lot, flustered and wanting to go home.

...

He didn't walk next to me but, I knew he was behind me as I led us to the parking lot. I could practically feel his gaze at my back–making me feel self-conscious. I straightened my back as I thought to myself, don't let him get to you. I nodded in determination and confidently made my way to my car.

I took my keys out of my pocket and pressed the button, and hear a ring sound from my car. 

"Nova!"

I looked behind me and saw Ren making his way toward me. I stopped as he stops in front of me, "I forgot to mention this while we talked at the field."

"I want our engagement to go smoothly. Just for the year. I promise that I won't hurt you, that I will respect you first and foremost, and I hope we can communicate as well."

He paused and thought about his next sentence, "I guess...I want us to be friends...again."

Friends. I smiled, looking at the ground. I peered up at him, his face etched with nervousness for my response. I held my hand out for him, "Sure, we can be friends."

His eye lit up as he took my hand in his, warmness emitting through his palms. "Thank you for this. Thank you for letting me speak to you. I know I haven't been the best fiancée." He scratched the back of his neck out of awkwardness and I said, "Just...don't mess up again."

Ren looked at me, his curious eyes trying to read my face, and I sent him a smile before walking the short distance to my car. I opened it and sat in my seat, closing the door next to me. I turned my ignition on and looked out of my window to see him standing there, with a hand in his pocket. He waved at me as I backed out of my spot, and I signaled a farewell to him with my fingers on the steering wheel.

I drove towards the exit and glanced at my rearview mirror to see Ren walking in the opposite direction, his tall back facing the rear of my car. I sighed, leaning on my headrest–hopefully, I can make it through a year.  

...

Note:

Hey guys! Sorry about the wait. A bad excuse but, I had a busy couple of weeks so I couldn't write much. I couldn't write 2 chapters, and I think I will just post how many chapters are convenient for me for regular postings. Thank you so much for the 16K reads and for voting! I am so happy that the support for this story is growing every day. Thank you so much for your patience and for sharing your thoughts in the comments as well!