Emery's view

I woke up entangled in a warm embrace from behind. But I'm not complaining at all, since it was so comforting. I turned to face Gracen who was still asleep. I looked at her in awe, she's so adorable when sleeping. I trace my finger gently over her arms until she shifts around, then I stop.

"Who told you to stop?" Replied Gracen, as she faced me and gave me a sexy smirk.

I chuckled a little, and looked at the clock, it was 11 a.m. I prompted up on my arm to get out of bed, but I felt a splintering pain and looked at my left hand which was all bandaged up, then all the memories of yesterday popped up. I sat on the edge of my bed and just covered my face and sighed. I heard a little shuffle and the side of the bed next to me dipped a little as Gracen came close to me and hugged me from behind. We were in that position for a while until I couldn't take it anymore and stood up and helped her up to. I'm glad that she didn't ask me what was wrong or pester me to tell her, because even I don't know what's going on anymore.

I thought that I'd be feeling better after talking with Liam, but I still feel like I have a hole in my heart. I guess I just haven't completely healed yet to move on.

We went downstairs hand in hand and saw my brothers eating at the table.

"Hey sis, did you get a relatively good amount of sleep?" Asked Ethan.

"Relatively did" I replied as Ethan and I laughed. It was an inside joke were we just said relatively a lot for no reason. It felt good to joke around a little, it helped lighten the mood and I'm grateful to Ethan for that.

"Mom made blueberry pancakes before she left for work, we saved some for you and Gracen." Said Aiden.

I love my mom, she just always knows what food I need to help me cope. The pancakes were delicious and I had a lot, I'll probably regret it, but ohhh what the hell.

After that the four of us watched a comedy movie and had a pretty relaxing time. I then said bye to Gracen, even though I wanted to stay with her. But I had to do something, so after she left and my brothers went to hang out, I left the house.

I walked to the nearest florist and purchased cute flowers. I talked a bit with the sweet old lady who was the owner of the store, we knew each other pretty well by now. After Danny died I use to come buy flowers every week to put near his grave. After a few months, I started going less. Now I normally do this once or twice a month. I had planned to do it next week, but felt like I had to today. I said goodbye to Jill, the owner, and walked to the cemetery.

I got to Danny's grave and replaced the old flowers, and I kneeled down. It's been a year and a half since the accident now, and it still feels weird to be at his grave. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

There was still so much to say, but no words formed from my mouth. So I just sat there for a long time. For once I tried not to think about anything important, I just focused on little things. I listened to the birds chirp and felt the warm rays of the sun and watched the leaves of the tree fall.

Then I thought, how does the world keep functioning like this. Sitting here, I'm witnessing beauty, but then I look around closely and see all the graves. How am I supposed to focus on the beauty of life, if I'm surrounded by pain? How does one go on with life, when they witness the brutality that it has? Why do people always say life is a gift? Well, truthfully, it's not. Life is an entanglement of loving moments and painful ones. It's a gift only for the ones in the best moments. But life isn't just all good moments, it comes with struggle. And unfortunately, some struggle more deeply and longer than others do.

So as I sit here and watch the butterflies in their grace, I can't help but envy their carefree life. How lucky are they to not have a conflicted conscious.

It starts to get dark, so I get up and turn to face Danny's grave.

"You're lucky Danny. You never have to witness all the pain and brutality of life. This isn't the life I would have wanted for you, or for anyone. But that's the thing about life, it's not supposed to be fair or easy, because then we'd never grow. Goodnight Danny. I hope you're okay, wherever you are."