Continued...

Giovanni POV

It's so early in the morning, but I got myself up to come to the diner to get myself some breakfast. Especially since I did not feel like cooking anything for myself. Maybe I'll go to the gym after I digest, just trying to make my Saturday go by.

While I'm looking down at my plate of breakfast, I smell the air of someone passing by me and they smell so good. They smell so fresh, so light, subtle and very discreet but it's so powerful. And I notice that smell anywhere. I look up and sure enough it's my coworker, Cameron. He sits a few booths in front of me, but when he sits I can't see his head because of his height.

My heart rate starts to increase. Yeah, I know I'm a grown ass man. But when it comes to him I'm like a teenage boy in high school, I have the hugest crush ever. But, it's not only a crush. I genuinely care about him and I love his personality. A man can only dream. And it's a plus that he is so beautiful in every single way.

I just know in my heart that he's too deserving and worth too much to be wasting his life away waiting for someone who will be in prison forever. The first thing that I want is happiness for him, me being excluded. It's not about me, but I do know that if the day ever comes where he came to his senses, I would treat him right like he deserves. I don't know, it's an unpopular opinion, but if someone orders you to wait for them for eighty years while they're in prison, they do not care about you or your happiness. It's selfish, that person wants to be in prison knowing that they can still control you. And yes, I'm talking about his husband Anthony.

I just don't see how you can claim that you love someone so much, but at the same time you don't care about their happiness... I don't know. Maybe I'm just not understanding something. And that is not to bash his husband. Because I know that he may very well love Cameron, who wouldn't. But, he's not looking out for him like he should be. That's just my opinion.

I tap my fork against my plate and contemplate whether I should go greet him or not. I mean, I don't want to look like a stalker because for some strange reason we are always meeting up outside of work. Maybe it's because we live fairly close by, or maybe it's a sign. What am I gonna say if I go up to him?

'Hey Cameron, nice to see you!'
or
'Hey what are you doing here.'
or
'I didn't expect to see you.'

"Hey," and a smile is what I settle on when I build up the courage to walk up to his booth. His head is turned towards the window and he's kind of slouched down with his hand blocking his face. I notice that he doesn't have anything but a cup of tea on his table.

He moves his hand from the side of his face and glances at me quickly, but just as quickly he covers his face back up and turns towards the window again. And in that split second I could already see that the rim around his eyes are red, and his eyes are glossy.

"Hey, Cameron..." I say again.

He doesn't answer me.

"Cameron." I call out again.

"Please leave me alone," he says and turns his whole body towards the window.

"I'm sorry," I say then begin to walk away. But then I pause in my tracks. How much of a coward would I be if I just allowed him to sit here without even trying to comfort him. I turn back around and sit across from him. He doesn't look at me and is now covering his whole face.

"Cameron.." I whisper and start to reach my hand across the table but quickly take it back when I realize that may make him upset if I touch him.

"Leave me alone," he says again.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine," Cameron's voice cracks and he clears his throat. He grabs a few napkins from the napkin dispenser and wipes away his tears. I wish I could wipe them away for him. I wish I knew what was wrong so that I could help. But, I'm almost one hundred percent sure that I know the reason already.

He looks down at his lap and I admire his long eyelashes. And when he looks up and into my eyes, it literally takes my breath away. The vibrant and intense blue color has me ready to do anything and everything he'd ask of me. I look away from his distracting eyes, but they land on his lips which aren't in the very least less distracting than his eyes. They are so plump and pink and full— shoot, let me look away from them too. I choose to just get myself lost into his eyes, I might as well.

He breaks our eye contact and sniffs while looking down at his phone ringing. He doesn't answer it, instead just grabs his key from off the table and he rushes out leaving five dollars on the table without saying anything.

I feel like there's so much more I could've done to make sure that he was okay. But when I do what my heart wants to do, it seems as if I'm being obsessive and annoying. I just want him to be alright. I contemplate doing what my heart wants, running after him and hugging him, telling him that he's not alone. But, I decide that I should give him space.

Cameron POV

It hurt to hear it be confirmed. I always knew that my son would give me a hard time, and I knew that he may have preferred his daddy over me. But to hear that he doesn't like me... it hurts. It hurts so much when I thought I have done everything as I could as a parent make sure that my kids know that I love them and that I will do anything for them. It hurts so much because when I think back on it, I am not sure what I have done wrong for him to feel like living with me for fifteen years has been so hard. But I am sure I have just been to blind to see that I'm hurting him. I don't know how, or when. I feel a weight in my chest, a weight in my heart, and I have no backbone because when I heard that, all I could do is stop what I was doing and cry. I didn't know how else to react. My hands started to shake when I was trying to tidy my kitchen up. I didn't want them to know that I heard that. I didn't want it to seem like I was snooping. What I heard him say hurt my feelings.

Where did I go wrong? We are complete opposites. But even me and his daddy were complete opposites, and we were best friends. He loved me and I loved him. But as much as they may be simliar, they are individuals. I can not compare them.

I'm sorry that I made his fifteen years difficult. He's made my fifteen years as a parent wonderful, because he is one of my miracle babies and I have never loved someone as much as I love my babies. Whenever I had a rough day when I used to work mornings at the bank then go to school at night, I used to look forward to seeing my kids. I used to stop by the store and pick up their favorite snacks, then pick them up from daycare and surprise them. I remember when Aj used to kiss me and told me 'I love you papa'.

He hasn't said he loves me since he was eight years old. That's seven years.

As toddlers when they used to come crying to me because they got into a fight, I used to scold them but inside I was laughing because it amused me. Even now, getting to see them grow up and become more mature. Getting to see what beautiful creations me and Anthony made together. I wouldn't trade these fifteen years— except for the same fifteen years but with daddy in the picture.

I'm so disappointed that the fifteen years that I thought I was doing almost everything right were actually damaging for my son. I failed to protect my daughter and I failed to protect my son from my faults without even noticing.

I close the door when I get inside my apartment. I was only gone about an hour and a half, just so that I didn't have to get emotional while my brother and my kids are here.

I see that Kyle has his bag in his hands and he's sitting up on the edge of the couch while he and  Taleah watch television. When I closed the door they both turned their heads to look at me.

"Where'd you go?" Taleah asks me.

"Nowhere important," I reply honestly.

"Papa, Aj is just a dumbass. He doesn't know what he's talking about, he's just angry all the time. It's a personal issue, not your fault," she says. I force a smile and kiss her forehead, but I do not reply.

"I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I know that you're the best parent anyone could ask for. We all have flaws, but that doesn't make you any less of a great parent. I can tell," Kyle says and then his phone rings and his shoulders drop.

His eyes start to tear up and he stands. "I gotta go back to LA guys..." he says sadly.

He wipes his eyes, "ugh, why am I crying. Okay, let me get my bags-" he picks up two small duffel bags from the floor, "and let me leave before I start to bawl."

He puts his bags over his shoulder. Taleah stands up and he leans down to give her a hug, "I'm gonna miss you so much, you're awesome," he says. Taleah hugs back and smiles, "Back at you."

"And you my freakishly little big brother. I love you so much and I am going to miss you," he leans down and hugs me as well and I return the hug.

"You are welcome to my home anytime Kyle," I kiss his cheek and then he sighs.

"Tell Aj I said farewell, and that it was so cool to temporarily live with a boy my age," he heads towards the door.

I don't know why Kyle leaving is making me so sad right now. I think that during the week he stayed with us, I got too attached to him. He's just such a sweetheart and it's impossible to be in a bad mood when you are in the same room as him. I am going to miss him so much.

"Bye sweetheart," I wave at him as he walks out the door. He waves back.

"Bye, I love you guys!" he yells and runs down the hall way saying "dad is gonna kill me." I am assuming he should have been ready a while ago.

I close the door sadly and smile at my daughter.

"Wanna watch movies with me?" She asks and I can't turn that adorable face down. As crappy as I am feeling right now, I will watch movies with my daughter.

I sit next to her and she lays her head in my lap and puts on a movie. I caress her head and play with her hair and within an hour she falls asleep on me. I admire my beautiful daughter. For fifteen years she has brought me so much joy.

Night falls and Zaniyah comes to spend a night over.

"CamCam, you wanna watch some more videos?" She asks me while she is cuddling me on the couch, in effort to try to make me feel better. I didn't tell her what was wrong, but she didn't mind. She just wanted me to feel better.

"Can we show the twins one?"

"Of course! Hold on, let me find one that won't scar them for life," she jokes and looks through her phone. She was originally going to send them to me but I decided against it because I would binge watch them all in one night. And it's nice for it to last while he's not with me.

"This one is a good one. Let me connect it to the TV."

Zaniyah spends ten minutes trying to figure out how to connect her phone to the TV but she eventually gets it.

"Aj and Leah, bring your ass up here!" Zaniyah yells and then giggles, "i would pay to hear you say that."

Taleah comes immediately.

"Yes auntie?" She says sweetly.

"I wanna show you something. Sit"

She sits. It takes Aj about three minutes for him to come. I haven't seen him since yesterday, since I didn't look at him this morning. I look at him in hopes that he will acknowledge my presence, but he doesn't even look me in the eyes. He looks at everyone but me, leaving me to feel left out. As if he can't see me or I don't exist.

"What?" He asks sounding bored.

"Sit your ass down. I have something to show you."

Aj sits down in the seat farthest from me.

"Okay watch this. It's only like three minutes long. Y'all are gonna love this," Zaniyah says and sits down herself. She turns the light off so that the only light showing is from the TV.

Zaniyah presses play on her phone and the video starts.

"Look how fucking cute." Fifteen year old Zaniyah can be heard whispering. The camera shows Anthony and Cameron who are holding hands, walking ahead of the camera down the block.

"I know y'all see that ass jiggling every time he take a step in them sweatpants. And he a white boy! So, what is my excuse?" Zaniyah said.

"Ant! Cam! I gotta few questions to ask you guys if you don't mind," Zaniyah said. Cameron turned around and smiled, showing off his beautiful straight smile.

"Cam. What's your favorite personality trait about Ant?" Zaniyah asked while continuing to follow the young couple to their destination.

"He knows what he wants, he's very specific," Cameron answered while they were waiting to cross the street.

"Anthony, you answer the question now."

"What question." He says.

"I said what's your favorite personality trait about Cam?"

Anthony turns around and looks down at Zaniyah. His moisturized dark skin was getting hit by the sunlight, bringing out his handsome features, defined jaw line and deep eyes.

"He cares." He simply said as they cross the street.

"Okay, Cameron what's your favorite physical feature on Anthony?"

Cameron said, "I love Anthony's teeth. And I love his skin. And I love his eyes. And I love his nose. Oh, I also love his lips. I love his height as well. He has nice abs too-"

"Alright Cammy Cam, you like all of Anthony." Zaniyah said.

"Yeah," Cameron blushed.

"You Ant? What's your favorite feature on Cam?"

"Smile." Anthony said and smiled himself and so did Cameron, and Zaniyah let's out a laugh.

"Awwwwwwwww I'm gonna faint," Zaniyah said behind the camera.

They reached the store they were walking to. They decided to walk instead of  Anthony driving them because the weather was pretty nice. Cameron was begging Anthony to take him to get something sweet so Anthony took him to a Red Mango, the only place he knew of.

"Cameron, when y'all gonna get married?" Zaniyah asked. He giggled and shrugged, "if Anthony ever proposed to me, I would say yes. And then we would adopt babies," Cameron smiles happily.

"Ant? You gonna propose?" She asked.

"For sure." He said.

"Awww."

"Get whatever you want. Both y'all," Anthony said.

Cameron and Zaniyah both waited on line to order small frozen yogurts. The red mango they were at is packed on Saturdays, and it was a Saturday.

While they waited on line, Anthony stood next to Cameron.

"Next!" The cashier said. They group of three walked up, ordered Cameron and Zaniyahs frozen yogurt who was still holding the camera up recording everything. They got their dessert in under five minutes, with a ton of toppings and Anthony paid for it.

"Can you not record me-" the cashier said.

"I do what I want," Zaniyah can be heard saying behind the camera. While the group started to make their way out the red mango, the camera catches a girl bending over in front of Anthony in revealing short shorts picking up a bobby pin.

She turned around and bit her lip, "oh my bad," she said making her voice sound soft, "I ain't see your tall ass."

The camera rises up to show Anthony's straight emotionless face and then lowers and Cameron is seen coming in between the girls body and Anthony's with his arms crossed. He narrowed his eyes at her. She turned all the way around and faced Cameron. She pulled her neck back and scrunched her face up in confusion.

"Get away," Cameron said seriously.

"Ummm... who are you?" She asked.

"Who are you?" Cameron replied.

"He don't want you baby, I'm just letting you know now. Save yourself the embarrassment," she said and chuckled.

"I'm sure he does," Cameron said.

"Oooooh-hoo-hoo Cameroon is coming for they necks bitch!" Zaniyah said holding up the Camera.

"I guarantee you he doesn't, like you are making a fool out of yourself."

"He does..." Cameron grabbed Anthony's hand tightly. Anthony wrapped his arm around Cameron's waist and bent down and kissed his cheek from behind. The girls face dropped and she gulped hard.

"He don't want you for real fruit cup, niggas will do it all for money. No shade." She said.

"You sound mad. He's still mine," Cameron shrugged. Anthony had an amused look on his face watching Cameron get jealous. This was a first, and he found it sexy.

"Well, your nigga too fine to be doing this gay shit."

"You're mad because you can't have him. Still mine regardless," Cameron said and rolled his eyes.

"Come on." Anthony said before an argument could break out and then he'd have to slap a bitch for arguing with his baby. He wrapped his arms around Cameron and guided him out the store. Zaniyah and the camera stayed behind to focus on the mad girls face. Her face was twitching.

"You tight! You tight!" Zaniyah laughed, "Oh, I love a good stereotyping ass hoe get proven wrong." She laughed and left out the store.

"Ahhh, where these niggas went," she laughs with a sigh.

"Oop," she turns the camera to Anthony who is bending down, eagerly kissing Cameron who's back is pressed up against a brick wall and his arms are wrapped around Ants neck.

"Oh my god! No no no," I stand up and run to the TV. I cover the video with my body in embarrassment, "Zaniyah take it off, oh my god take it off. Please."

Zaniyah laughed. That is way too much and way too embarrassing for me.

I looked behind me to see if it was off, and it wasn't.

"Zaniyah, take this off it's inappropriate pretty please," I say and she giggled and disconnects her phone from the TV. That is so embarrassing.

"Papa! Who knew you could get so feisty!! You was not playing." Taleah says and laughs. I blush. It's really an in the moment type of thing. I just wanted her away from him. "Daddy really reminds me of Aj- or should I say the other way around."

"It's so evident in daddy's eyes how much he loved you papa. Like, just the way he would look at you. I'm so happy you found these. As time went by it started to feel like I was losing memory of daddy, I didn't know what he looked like or sounded like, but now with these videos I can tell. I'm so excited."

"I'm gonna show you guys more of them. But we don't want to watch that much. I have much more personal ones that would be nice for you guys to see but papa will have to approve first."

"Aj, wasn't that a funny video?" Zaza asks him and he shrugs, but I know that he liked it because his daddy is in it.

"Okay, guys. I'm getting tired, I'll be going to bed," I stand up and smile.

"Feisty papa." Leah says and smirks. I smile at her bashfully and then go into my room, and lay down relying on my memory to play back the times me and Ant were together. Every night it's the same thing. I miss him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If anything don't make sense, I'll fix it. I was falling asleep while writing this. 😂

Thoughts on..

Cam?

Ty?

Giovanni?

Aj?

Kyle?

Leah?

Zaza?

Hope you guys enjoyed this, muuuuuah. I'm damn near falling asleep right now LMFAOOOOO but I wanted to upload it ASAP. Alright