Cameron POV

My 5am alarm wakes me out of my sleep. I don't even remember falling asleep last night let alone coming to my room. The last thing I remember is Tyler telling me to breath slowly in the midst of my panic attack. Everything after that is pure blank.

I peel the covers off of me and shut off the piercing ringing sound. I've got to get ready for work then get my kids up for school. I don't feel like going anywhere today. I'm so tired and spaced out. But, I can't call off of work. My students need me to be there and they shouldn't have to be deprived of learning for my personal problems.

I stand up and I see that I'm still in my day clothes from yesterday. I always change into my pajamas, everyone knows that which leads me to the conclusion that Tyler had brought me to bed last night and didn't want to wake me.

When I'm finished taking a shower, I put on a grey sweatshirt and black jeans and sneakers. I take a look quick in the mirror and I don't like what I see. My eyes are so red and puffy, my skin looks pale, my hair is a mess. I don't remember the last time I got my hair done.

I sigh in aggravation and try to flip my hair to different sides in hopes that I'll be satisfied with at least one style, but it just doesn't work. So I opt for leaving my hair as it is, a curly mess on top of my head.

To try and get rid of the redness in my eyes, I put eye drops in my eyes, and then run some ice underneath them to get rid of the puffiness. I try convince myself that it actually makes a difference in my appearance but it really doesn't, I still look like I've been up all night. I give up trying to improve my looks and finally decide to just wake my kids up for school.

"Taleah, wake up baby. Time for school," I gently shake her and she opens her eyes. I kiss her cheek "wake up."

Once I'm sure that she's awake and isn't gonna try to go back to sleep, I leave her room and go to Aj's. I hesitantly push open his bedroom door. I'm surprised to see that he's already awake and dressed.

"Early morning?" I ask and get no response. I smile sadly at him and lean against his door frame, "are you okay?"
It's not like him to be up so early and already ready for school. It's a good thing, but since it's Aj it's actually worrisome.

He coughs a few times and he's nearly wheezing. I knew that he was sick yesterday. If he had just let me help him, maybe he could have been better by today. He coughs loudly again.

"Aj, go back to bed. You can't go to school like that," I say with worry laced in my voice. Whenever any one of my kids are sick, I can over react at times. But I'd rather be safe than sorry. "I'll make you some tea baby, hold on."

I rush to the kitchen and Tyler's sitting at the island with his head down in his arms. His back is slowly raising up and down slowly which tells me that he's asleep. He too is fully dressed which confuses me because what can he possibly have to do before 5:50am. I tap his back.

"Ty."

He doesn't wake up until I tap and shake him a few more times.

"Oh shit. My fault, I ain't mean to fall asleep here." He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and stands up.

"You know I don't care about that. Are you okay though?"

"Yeah I'm good."

"Why are you all dressed up? Are you going somewhere?" I ask in confusion. Tyler clears his throat.

"Nah, nah. I just went to seven eleven at like 3am," he starts blinking fast and Tyler does that when he's lying. But I won't question him any further if it's personal.

I nod, "Okay, was just wondering. Well, Aj is sick. I'm going to make him some tea," I grab the tea kettle and fill it up with water and put it on the stove.

"He staying home?"

"Well, I said that he should stay home. But you know that he likes to do the exact opposite of what I say... Dang it, I should have said 'Aj! You're still going to school' so that he could be compelled to do the opposite of just that," I smile playfully and start making breakfast.

Tyler laughs and then walks out the kitchen, "I'll be back Im gonna go take a shower."

While I'm making breakfast I can't help but be distracted by Tyler's phone constantly ringing. I guess he forgot to take it with him.

"Tyler!" I say as best as I can. I don't hear anything in response, just showers going. The same person keeps calling over and over, so it must be important.

I decide to pick it up and let them know that Tyler is busy, "Hello?" I say when I answer the phone. A female voice responds to me, "Yes, Hello. Is Tyler available?"

"No, uh he's in the shower right now. Maybe call back in about thirty minutes."

"Okay. Let him know that Rue called, it's important. Thank you."

"No problem." I hang up his phone and place it back where I found it. I wonder if Rue is Tyler's lady friend. Believe it or not, Tyler has yet to be in a relationship since I've met him, if you exclude Pheonix. He's had multiple women come to his hotel room for one night at a time of course, but that's all.

"Goodmorning," I hear a male voice say enthusiastically and the voice does not belong to Tyler or my son. I'm caught off guard for a second but then I remember my younger brother stayed with us yesterday.

"Goodmorning Kyle. You're all dressed up, where are you going?"

He smiles brightly, "I'm not going anywhere. I just had the best sleep of my life so I woke up feeling great."

"I'm glad you slept well," I say genuinely happy. "The bed was comfortable for you?"

"Thanks so much. And definitely! My bed at home is the ones with like springs in it and not enough cushion so it kinda makes my back hurt all the time. And I'm pretty tall so my legs kind of hang over the edge. It's really so annoying and I try to ask dad to change it but he's big on earning your own money to get the things you want."

"Really?" I say shocked. My father wasn't like that with me. I always had a comfortable bed to sleep in, as every child should if you're able to afford it. He shouldn't be treating Kyle any different.

"Yeah. I understand the earning your own money part, but what if I end up with scoliosis? Then what?"

I smile at him. "You won't end up with scoliosis. I'll make sure of it."

Tyler walks into the kitchen looking awake and refreshed.

"Hey, I forgot you were here." Tyler gives Kyle a pound and Kyle still looks starstruck.

The tea kettle starts whistling and I turn off the fire and pour the hot water into a mug. I take out a bag of chamomile tea from my pantry and add lemon juice and just a little bit of sugar to the tea. I excuse myself from the kitchen after I tell them the breakfast is ready, and head to my sons room. I open the door and he's still sitting in the same position.

I place the mug on his nightstand, "drink it." I sit next to him. I only do because I want him to know that I'm not leaving until he drinks it all. And I know he doesn't want me near him, so as long as he finishes drinking it, I'll leave.

I wait five minutes for him to finish the whole thing and I take his cup for him. I scratch under his chin, "will you please stay home until you get better?"

He shrugs. I kiss his forehead and head back to the kitchen.

"Okay Taleah, gotta leave for school in five minutes."

"Is Aj going?" She asks. Aj has been there to look out for her ever since that terrible incident happened. But he won't be able to today since he's sick.

"I don't think so. But I'll be right outside waiting for you as soon as you get out. Come straight to me."

Taleah nods in understanding and put her plate in the sink.

"Kyle, do you want to go to your parents or you want to hang out here?"

"You think I should go? Dad is probably really mad at me," he looks around, conflicted.

"What do you want to do?" I ask him and he scratches his head.

"I don't really want to go back to them right now because I know there's probably a lot of tension."

"Okay, no problem."

"I'm gonna buy you a new phone since that one is broken," Tyler says to Kyle.

"Seriously?? Are you for real?"

"Yeah I'm for real. But you in New York now. You gotta say 'you deadass?' "

"Okay. Are you deadass? —Nope, that didn't feel right, I sound weird saying it. Ugh, I'm cringing." Kyle covers his face in embarrassment.

"Nah you got it kid," Tyler laughs.

I see Aj pass by and like I said, he's going to school because it's the opposite of what I want him to do.

"Aj you going to school?" Taleah asks while walking after Aj out the kitchen. I hear the door open and close which means that they're going downstairs to wait for me in my car.

"By the way, you got a phone call from a woman named Rue while you were in the shower."

Tyler looks up quickly, "what did she say to you?"

"Uh, nothing. She just said call her back, it's important."

Tyler grabs his phone quickly and looks through it. I narrow my eyes in suspicion. He looks at me.

"What?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I ask him. He laughs.

"Nah, you know I'm single." Tyler smirks and I narrow my eyes at him even more.

"Trust me, if I ever was to find somebody, you'd be the first to know," he adds on.

"Do you like anybody?" I ask him. Tyler clears his throat and rubs his hand on his hair.

"Go downstairs. Gonna make my god kids late for school and shit," he waves me away and I smile to myself.

"Me and your lil brother over here gonna go get him a new phone and then find something for ourselves to do."

"Alright, have fun," I say "see you guys later."

Kyle waves goodbye and I rush out of the apartment to get to my car. When I get inside of my car, Taleah is in the front and Aj is in the back. I get them to school right on time.

"Have a good day at school guys. I love you," I blow them a kiss when they get out of the car. Some kids standing around hear me and start to laugh. "I'll be outside to pick you up later. And Aj, text me back so I know that you're okay. Please. Taleah, you already know the deal."

I require Leah to text me after every class period. Every. Single. One. If she doesn't text me, I'll call her school so that they can locate her.

Taleah tells me that the little girls who set her up haven't been coming to school ever since. I still don't feel safe for my daughter, even if they aren't coming to school. So many people out here have bad intentions.

When I'm sure that they've got into school safely, I drive off to work. I arrive about ten minutes early. When I'm walking towards the main door many of the seniors standing around greet me or hug me and I willingly return the gesture. Even though I'm not in a very good mood, I could never take it out on them, or anyone to be frank.

"Goodmorning," I say to my first period students. I notice right away that Treyvonte is not in class, but he may just be late.

"I'm going to hand back your narratives and you're going to reflect on your grade," I say even though I passed nearly everyone except for two students who just decided not to give it in at all.

"How did we do?" Someone asks.

"A very good job, I'm proud of you all." I walk up and down the aisles and hand back the writing pieces and there is a lot of joy in the room from the sight of their grades. I smile lightly at all of their cute faces. After I finish handing those out, I hand out reflection sheets and then take a seat at my desk.

"You guys fill those out," I say. I sigh lowly and stare at my fingernails as I give the kids fifteen minutes to complete their sheets. Usually I would walk around and engage in conversation with them while they work but I'm not up to it at the moment.

Of course all that can occupy my kind is yesterday. And it's not only my family's disrespectful behavior, it's the fact that I missed a phone call with my husband because of them. And now the prison won't tell me anything about what's going on and why I can never speak to Anthony ever again.

I won't be able to communicate with someone I'm in a committed relationship with for the rest of my life. I'm trying to make it make sense and sink in but it's not. So it's no visits, no phone calls, no letters, and not even a messenger to go back and forth to send messages for each other.

I wonder what Anthony could have possibly done this time to ruin the one thing we had left which was those one or two phone calls a year. It reminds me of when he decided to attempt to kill that man who made an advancement at him five years ago. I was so devastated. I had gotten a call from the prison saying that Anthony's visiting rights have been terminated and that we had limited phone calls. At that time, the visits are really what I depended on so that I could bring our kids to see him, and so that I could kiss him even if it was only for one second. Since I had already come to terms with our circumstances, I was fine with that system. But, once I got the news that we couldn't visit anymore, I was so sad. So disappointed. But, I really started to depend on the phone calls because that's the only way I can get an update on his well-being and the only way he can connect with his kids and me, his husband.

So, now to think that everything is completely terminated? I am so upset. What am I supposed to do now. I already rely so much on memory and now I'm going to have to rely on it even harder. I don't know why the prison can't give me one hour. Warn me before you strip my life away. Just let me see him one more time, that's all I ask for. I just want to see my husband again. I want him to kiss me. I want him to hold me. I want him to talk to me. I want to see him hug and kiss our babies. I know I'm not asking for too much, just one hour is all I need.

But, time and time again they have refused my attempt to visit him. I'm going to call the prison today to try and get an update on him and whatever incident has happened last night. I am going to try and ask them if I can see him before they take him away from me for good. I know they're going to most likely say no, but I've never stopped trying.

The sounds of concern coming from my students snaps me out of my daydream. A few of them even rush up to my desk.

"Mr. C, what's wrong?" My student Kai asks.

"Nah which one of y'all made him cry," someone else adds on.

It's then that I realize that I must have been silently tearing up at my desk. I touch my face and I find out I'm right, I have tears all over my face. I grab a tissue from my desk and wipe my eyes.

"Awwwww, no Mr. Cameron." The students start to coo and that doesn't really help it just makes me cry more. I'm glad I'm not sobbing because I don't mean to cause a scene, heck I didn't mean to start crying. They all crowd around my seat and hug me. I try to hug them all back but I just can't.

"I'm so sorry guys-" I can't get any words out and how am I supposed to teach my class if I can't say a full sentence without breaking down. So, I decide to step out for a minute. Thankfully Giovanni is having his prep right next door so hopefully he'll watch my students for a second.

I leave my classroom after straining to tell my students to have a seat. I aggressively wipe at my eyes with one of the twenty tissues I took out the box. I knock on Giovanni's classroom door and then open it. I see him at his desk on his laptop and when he looks up and sees that it's me, he stands up quickly.

"Cameron, what's up?" He comes from behind his desk and approaches me with a smile but his smile drops the closer her gets.

"Can you watch my class for about ten minutes, please?" I ask him and he nods.

"Yes, of course I can. I know you're not okay from your expression, but if you need to talk to anyone I'm here. I really don't like seeing you cry," He says while frowning.

"Okay, thanks," I head for the bathroom so that I can freshen my face up. I splash some cold water on my face and I avoid looking into the mirror because I know that sight will make me feel worse.

I clear my throat and look down at my hands on the sink. The diamond ring on my left ring finger catches my attention. I smile sadly at it. I was so happy that day. I felt like I was floating on clouds, the minute that I processed that I was engaged to Ant. It was a dream come true, there's nothing I wanted more than to have his last name. That is until I found out that I could have his children too.

I smile at my last memory of seeing him during our last visit. I miss his face.

Five years ago...

"Daddy!" The twins raced up to Anthony to see who can reach him first like they did each and every time they came to see him. It was their tenth birthday just the day before and Anthony hadn't gotten to see them, so the day after just had to do.

Anthony picked them both up at the same time and I watched from a distance with a huge smile plastered across my face. I took my time to walk up to the scene, and let him have a moment with his kids.

"Why you walking so slow? You act like I got forever to talk to you," Anthony said and pulled me by my arms softly so that I could get to him quicker.

"No swallowing each other's faces today Mr. Jackson! I know how y'all get, you lucky to even be able to peck," a guard yelled and Anthony side eyed him.

He grabbed the back of my neck gently and gave me three long pecks.

"Ewwww," Taleah said and covered her eyes. Anthony kissed my neck for a moment and then stared into my eyes. I smiled lovingly at him and he kissed my forehead.

Anthony sat back down and held Taleah and Aj in his lap. He kissed them both and smiled at them.

"Daddy can't get no love?" He asked them and they hugged and kissed him as hard as they possibly could.

"I love you daddy," Taleah said.

"I love you more birthday girl,"

"Tell daddy what you got for your birthday!" I told them.

"Ooh, I got a play house with a kitchen and a living room and a bedroom and I got some dolls for my dollhouse and I got one hundred dollars," Taleah ranted

"No way," Anthony said admired her face which was filled with excitement.

"Yeah, and I got my own cake!"

"All that cake and you couldn't bring daddy none?" Anthony teases.

"Nope. All mine." She said and smiled at him.

"Shit, well if I can't have no cake can I at least get some more sugar?"

"Another kiss?!" She laughs loudly.

"Just one more," Anthony fakes a sad expression. Taleah kissed Anthony's cheek for nearly thirty seconds.

"That should be enough." She dusts her hands together.

"Thank you baby. That was so sweet."

I admired how much of a great father he is despite his circumstances. Nobody can take that away from him.

"Aj, tell daddy what you got." —

My daydream is cut short when a knock on the bathroom stall scares me.

"Somebody in here?" The person asks.

"Yes," I simply reply quietly and I hear heels click clacking away. Back to reality. That was the very last time I visited Anthony, and little did I know that was the last time I'd ever see him again. Maybe if I would have done something different that day, he wouldn't have cracked that mans head open.

I think that my ten minutes of re-composure are up. I splash my face with cold water once more and dry it with paper towel. I head back to my classroom and I'm thankful to see that