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This is not an official chapter. This is a bonus deleted scene while y'all wait for the next chapter that's coming in January. Read more at the end!

"Come on guys. Let's go see daddy." I motion my seven year old twins towards the front door. Visiting hours at the prison start in ten minutes and I do not want to waste any second, even after the incident between my husband and I.

"Why didn't we go the last two weeks?" Taleah asks me. I purposely ignore the question because I don't know how to explain to her that daddy and papa had a disagreement, so I skipped out on last weeks visit so that I wouldn't have to face Anthony. But, the twins do not need to know all of that.

"We're going to see daddy now," is what I say, "Come here let me see."

Aj and Leah turn their faces around and I examine them. I clean their noses and then use my travel size organic cocoa butter, rubbing it into their faces to protect them from the cold air. I zip up their jackets and readjust their scarves. The whole time I'm doing my double check they like to protest, but I'm used to it.

After locking up my apartment, I grab Aj and Taleah's hand in mine and we make our way down to my car. I buckle them up, get in the front seat and then drive the fifteen minutes to the Metropolitan Detention Center. When we arrive and get inside, were told to take our jackets and scarves off. We can't wear layers of clothing inside the visiting room for security reasons so they keep our jackets before with them before we go in. And of course we had to go through a metal detector and a pat down.

After that tedious process, we are escorted to the visiting room where other families are seeing their loved ones.

"Where's daddy?" Aj asks, looking around frantically.

"They're probably telling him we're here," I say since I told the woman at the desk who I'd be visiting, which they all know by now.

I take a seat with my kids at an empty table and wait for Anthony to come out. I hope he comes. I didn't call him along with not visiting him last week, and I didn't tell him I would be coming today. It was stupid of me, but he made me upset and I made him upset so I didn't want to talk to him. I know I should not have done that especially when he looks forward to seeing his kids. I will never do that again. We've had arguments but usually we, more so I, wouldn't speak him but I'd still bring the kids and call him on the phone for them.

A very familiar, handsome face arrives into the room and I can't make eye contact with him. I'm still mad, and I know he's probably livid that I didn't call or pick up or visit. I don't want to look at him while he's mad at me. And I don't want to look at him while I'm mad at him.

I look down onto the plastic table and avoid any communication, even when he takes a seat across from the kids and I. They immediately hop up from my side when he sits down.

"Daddy," Taleah cheers and runs around to his side, along with Aj.

I look up for a moment only to capture the beautiful moment of our kids and Ant reuniting. He picks them both up with one arm, sets them on his lap and then showers them each with kisses until they giggle and laugh.

"I missed you," Aj says to him.

"Missed you too baby," Anthony caresses Aj's face and hair while Aj looks up at him in admiration. Both Leah and Aj cuddle up to Anthony's chest and hold him tight as if this was the last time they would see him. I'm never going to keep his kids from him ever again, although that was not my intention. It slipped my mind to call Tyler and ask him to take the kids for me last week. But I'll never forget again.

Anthony wraps both his arms around them and holds them just as tight, if not more, and buries his head between their shoulders.

Tears begin to pool my eyes and I keep them glued onto the table. I lightly tap my fingers against the surface and keep my head turned from Ant so that he won't see me crying. From the corner of my eyes I can see Anthony who is still holding onto Leah and Aj, and giving them kisses.

He lifts his head from between the twins and now he's looking my way. The teardrops that we're threatening to fall, fall. They're silent tears, but they're there.

"Don't do that shit again." Anthony demands sternly. "Don't you ever pull some shit like that again."

I continue to look away from him and I dry my eyes.

"You tryna get me tight?" He asks. I sigh and make eye contact with him with my teary, irritated eyes. He gives me that same emotionless expression he does every time he's mad at me.

"You ain't pick up my calls. You ain't see me."

"If you would start thinking and acting rationally, then maybe I wouldn't have to debate whether I should come see you or not," I mumble.

Anthony sits up and rubs at his neck. I look at our children who are still cuddled up to his chest.

"Nobody gon' fucking disrespect me," he says under his breath, "I don't give a fuck." I shake my head and let out a huge sigh. It's always about pride with Anthony. He can never just let anything go for the sake of himself and his family. Never.

"Please stop swearing," I tell him. He glances at Taleah and Aj, and doesn't say anything more regarding my request. "This is all we've got Ant. This is it. Please don't jeopardize it."

"So you know you all I got. You be acting like you don't know me at all."

"I do know you."

"So why the fu- so why you acting shocked that I'm not letting nobody speak to me no type of way about my fucking family?"

I kiss my teeth and grunt in frustration, "I'm not shocked, I'm upset! Stop letting people get to you now, it's important that you don't. Because if you do everything will be stripped away from you in a second!" I exclaim and try my hardest to whisper to be mindful of the people around us. Anthony stares at me.

"I'm sorry," I quickly say after when I realize my tone. "I'm sorry for raising my voice at you." Two ground rules with Anthony. Look him in the eyes, and never yell at him. If I fail to do any of those, he gets mad. He feels disrespected.

"Can you just listen to me, please?" I grab his hand that's resting on the table with two of my own. He looks away from me.

"Please, Anthony?"

He ignores me again. I let go of his hand, fold my arms across my chest and pivot around so most of my back is facing him, "why are you ignoring me?" I say quietly to myself.

"Papa? You okay?" Taleah asks me from her daddy's lap. I nod my head.

"Yes sweetie, I'm okay."

I start crying again- of course- and I use one of my many travel size packages of Kleenex to wipe my tears away.

The guards announce that we have fifteen more minutes left of visiting time. Usually by now Anthony and I would be talking about everything under the sun, holding hands while Taleah plays in his hair and Aj leans on his side. But here we are, my back faced to him without us exchanging any words to one another.

He starts to speak, "When somebody bring your name up, my guard up. They say some slick shit, no telling what imma do."

"But you know it's not going to happen. None of these men in here or outside will ever get near me. Everything they suggest is to piss you off. They want to see you react so that you won't be able to see us anymore. That guy that you hit? He's satisfied because of that week you didn't get to see us."

Anthony glares, "Ignoring me aint make shit better. I don't got y'all like I wish I do. The only thing I look forward to every week is seeing y'all and you took that shit away from me like they did."

"I won't do that again. But you need to stop hitting people just because they talk about someone you love. Please, it's for us. That's all I ask Ant. Do it for us, control yourself."

I sniffle and continue to wipe my eyes while shaking my head. "I can't imagine my world without you in it. It scares me. It's already hard as it is waiting for this one day to see you when I wish it was everyday. What if we can't see each other at all? What am I going to do? You need to think about what you do." I say forcefully because there's nothing I want more than to keep what we have now.

"When niggas look me in my eye, say some disrespectful shit about you i dont know how to control myself. It's not in my nature to move on bout' you."

So, two weeks ago Anthony decided to very violently hit a man. He hit him because the man said something slick about me, my body, and our relationship. It was something along the lines of him getting with me before Anthony since he's not the one serving a life sentence, taking me away from Anthony and he made many suggestive comments about my body in general. Anthony claims he warned him once, but I know Anthony. He didn't warn him, he most likely just went ahead and punched him. That's why we couldn't visit him for that week.

"What part you not understanding?"

"What part aren't YOU understanding? I just want to keep our family together, it's that simple."

"Nah, I don't like how you speaking to me," his hand clenches on the table and he retreats it and wraps his arm around the kids.

"Whatever, Anthony. I honestly don't care anymore." I look down at my fingernails to divert my eyes from him. "I feel like I'm the only one who's trying my best to keep our family together and you're doing what you want to do."

He chuckles. "What I want to do," he says under his breath "aight."

"I didn't mean it like that—"

"Nah you said it. You right. This what I wanna do."

"No, Ant. I worded that wrong. I meant that you're not doing the proper things to ensure that we will still be able to visit you in the future."

"I swear you be thinking shit is that simple. When I'm gon get the chance to do the proper things when niggas constantly testing me?"

"I understand. But don't stop trying. Think about us before you do anything."

He shakes his head, "Who else imma think about? Myself? Of course I fucking think about y'all."

I sigh and tilt my head. I pivot my body to face him again. Now that I'm face to face with him, I can see the clear irritation and anger on his face.

"Thinking bout y'all before I do anything makes shit worse," he states.

"But, you do want to see us for as long as you're in here, don't you?"

"Don't ask me no dumb shit like that."

I advert my eyes from his again and exhale deeply. We sit in silence for a while, and I think about everything he said. I then look at my kids and they're sitting quietly on Anthony's lap, tampering with his shirt. I notice damp marks on the collar of Ant's shirt. I check out both of my kids from afar and it become known to me that Aj is crying. Worried, I hop up and walk around to Anthony's side and it's an instinct for me to grab Aj, or at least try to in effort to comfort him. But Anthony doesn't let him go.

"It's not time," Ant mumbles. So instead, I crouch down and rub Aj's back.

"You okay honey?"

Aj doesn't answer me and buries his head into Ants armpit area.

"Sweetheart? It's okay."

Aj doesn't answer me again.

"You don't hear your papa talking to you?" Anthony asks him sternly. "When he speaks, you answer. Pick your head up."

Aj picks his head up.

"Turn around and answer the question."

Aj turns around and looks at me sadly.

"Are you okay?" I ask him again and he shakes his head.

"Tell me what's wrong," I say in worry.

Ant wipes Aj's tears away with his thumb then checks on Taleah who is only staring at us with concern and fear. The kids have witnessed us arguing about small things before, but this one argument I may have been extra passionate about since it's so important for our family.

"You and daddy were arguing."

"That's okay honey, that doesn't mean we love each other any less. Sometimes daddy and I disagree with one another. But that doesn't change a thing," I rub his back. I'm so happy the security guards here let me comfort my kids while their daddy holds them.

"Why we didn't come see daddy all those other days then?"

"Last week we couldn't come because of a mistake I made." I say.

"It's all your fault that we didn't see daddy." Aj says accusingly.

"Its my fault. I did something I shouldn't have did and they ain't let me see y'all." Anthony looks at me. Aj doesn't look too convinced but his eyes are dry and he doesn't say anything else.

"And it's also my fault for not coming last week because I was mad," I say quietly.

"Seven minutes!" The guard yells.

My husband and I stare at one another for a little while.

"I apologize," he says and I nod.

"I apologize too." I clear my face of any stray moisture from when I was crying.

"...You gon' kiss me now?"

I smile softly. I nod and stand up from my crouched position. Before I can lean into his lips for a kiss he grabs my hand and scans my body with his eyes. Anthony pulls me towards him by my hand and when our faces are close enough, our lips conjoin in a short lived peck. And only a peck since the kids are right beside us, and since this is still a prison.

"One more," Anthony pulls my face in for one more kiss again and this one is a bit longer and juicier, and his beautiful full lips completely envelope mine. My heart starts to beat fast in my chest, he makes me so nervous.  And he knows these are my favorite kisses, he knows what he's doing. I hear squeals of disgust coming from Taleah and I smile in embarrassment. The guards warn us to part and we do so reluctantly, slowly parting lips until they're disconnected, but our foreheads stay close together.

"We just wasted so much time arguing," I say sadly, my lips light grazing against his lips.

"I know," he mumbles and kisses me one more time and the guards give us another warning.

"Guys, I'm like, right here!" Taleah squeals out  with heated cheeks, covering her eyes in embarrassment. She got that very easily embarrassed trait from me because even I'm embarrassed right along with her.

"I know. You want a kiss?" Ant teases and she shakes her head no immediately.

"No thank you!"

Eventually Anthony steals a kiss from her when she's not paying attention and she smiles happily despite her previous protests. He gives Aj a kiss as well, but Aj seems as though he's stuck in his own world, still caught up in the argument.

"You okay baby?" He asks Aj and Aj nods his head sadly. Ant scratches his head and while he does, the guards announce that we have a mere four minutes left and to start packing up and saying our goodbyes or rather "see you later"s in my opinion.

We all stand up, Anthony holding one kid in each arm. They love being carried by him, it feels like they're on top of the world they once said. He stands them up on the floor so that we can all give the proper goodbyes.

"Come here beautiful," he crouches down and gives Leah a big, tight hug, kisses her forehead and she melts into his embrace.

"I love you princess."

"I love you too daddy."

Ant lets go of our daughter and gives Aj a big hug next.

"You good?" He asks him and Aj nods silently in the crook of Ant neck.

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too," Aj's voice is muffled by being pressed into Anthony's shirt.

I smile at all three of them the whole entire time. Ant pulls Leah in again.

"Y'all be good or else it's gonna be a problem," he states seriously, all signs of lightheartedness gone. Anthony is not one to joke about behavior. "You hear me?"

The twins nod simultaneously.

"Don't disappoint me. Pay attention in school and do all your work," he looks into each of their eyes.

"Respect your papa, your uncle and your auntie. Y'all hear me?"

They nod again. Ant looks between them two.

"Alright, give daddy some more sugar then I'll let y'all go."

They do just that and then afterwards Anthony releases them from his grip. He stands up.

"I shoulda stayed crouching," he teases me while pulling me in for a hug.

"Shut up," I retort and wrap my arms around him. I bury my nose into his torso and breathe in deeply for his body scent. It's probably a little weird for some, but I love his natural smell and it helps me to feel closer to him when we're apart. I think he feel the same way because he always spends a lot of time in the crook of my neck, like right now.

We've literally got about a little less than two minutes before we have to go. I remove my head from Ants torso and tilt my head up until I can see his face. He looks down at me, stares deep into my eyes and he just has to lick his beautiful lips.

"Come down," I beg eagerly. He lowers his upper body and I briefly kiss him so that we won't get another warning. I wish it could have been longer. I wish he could kiss me how he used to kiss me. How we used to kiss each other. But these kisses are great too.

Ant pulls me closer to his body and the guards watch us intently, but they don't tell us to release one another.

"It's hard to let you go," he states.

"For me too," I say in sorrow.

Anthony rubs up and down my back and I know where his hands really want to be, especially when he lingers around my lower back, but that is definitely not permitted because it's pretty sexually suggestive. And plus we wouldn't want to act that way in front of our children anyways.

I don't know if this is intentional or not, but I feel a print from Ants slacks pressing up against my body. My breathing gets hitched and my eyes start fluttering. I look up at him and I try to say something, but I can't. I have not done anything since I had the kids so being reminded of what I used to have is overwhelming. I don't think it's intentional because Anthony raises his eyebrows at me.

"Why you looking like that?" He asks me and I look away from him, trying not to make the fact that I'm flustered too obvious.

"Nothing," I say and he smiles at me.

"You good? Work good and everything?" He asks me and I nod, still distracted by his thing pressing against my body. "I don't want to argue no more when you come here, aight?"

I nod again.

Ant kisses my neck for a second and that's the icing on top of the cake, and now this is all I'm going to think about for the rest of the day and silently suffer.

"Take care of yourself baby. I love you," he says lowly into my ear, only making my current state more intense.

"I love you too," is what I whimper before the guard interfere and all the prisoners are escorted back to their cells and we are escorted out

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