unfinished

By noon it wasn't just the pain or the heartbreak. She was literally sick. Unable to keep any thing down. Not that she even tried to eat anything. Her stomach cramped. Her chest ached. The mark on her chest was on fire and eating away at her. The guilt was crippling and threaten to choke her anytime she allowed it to come to life.

Macie was faring far better than her. She's been skipping and playing most the morning. Only recently had she begun to quieten and slow down.

Though that could be because she was tired. They all were. She moved them forward as much as she could but for the most part they walked.

She guessed it had been wishful thinking that she would be able to just zap them all home. Not five of them. Not feeling like she did.

Putting one foot in front of the other was beginning to become too much for her. Each step only took her farther away from him and it was like her whole body was protesting it.

Forbidding it.

Jess looked at the road beneath her feet and wondered when she stopped moving.

She could feel Julian at her side and knew he was speaking but his words were unclear to her.

"Cannotgo..." She slurred.

When she came to, she was propped up against a car. Apparently, one that didn't run, or she assumed she would be on the inside of it.

The only other person she saw nearby was Macie. She sat in the passenger seat. Her little legs swinging back and forth while she ate a cracker.

"Better, Jess?"

Worse by a hundred. "How do you feel, honey?"

Her only answer was a small smile as she took another bite of her snack. The child had never been big on talking. "The others?"

She pointed over her shoulder.

Getting to her feet wasn't easy. Julian noticed and stopped her from wasting her energy.

"We're going back, babe. We have to."

"Can't."

"Yes, we can."

"Julian, we can't. If he hasn't found a way out, we aren't going to find a way in. They are cowards and assholes, but they gave their word. They will keep it. We need them to keep it."

He knelt in front of her and peeled up her shirt so he could see her mark.

Jess covered his hand. "I'm okay."

"You're not."

She didn't have the strength to lie again. "If it gets to be too much they will come and they will still have to help us. Until then there is nothing we can do."

"We just have to wait until you're at deaths door?"

"Exactly."

"What we should be trying to figure out is what the hell we're going to do. We are in the middle of fucking nowhere. We haven't seen another person and the one car we've come across has no gas."

"Julian, help me stand."

Once back on her feet, she tried to move forward but she could only achieve a few steps. "I'm getting weaker."

Whatever she was going to do, she needed to do it soon. "I can't go forward but I can go back. I'll find some gas. You make sure this thing will run."

"We checked that gas station. There was nothing there."

"I'll find another. Or a house or something."

"You're not going alone."

"Have to. I'm not strong enough for more. No matter how long it takes, I'll be back." She promised. "Just make sure you're here."

"I hate this."

She tried to smile. "You could have stayed home. Missed all this fun."

"Don't even bring that up till we can hash it out properly."

"We both know you're over it. How did you know, anyway?"

"It's sad that you thought I wouldn't. As soon as I heard you were sneaking off to see Sinclair, I looked him up. Once I knew he was getting out, all your sad looks started making sense. Then I found your bag hidden in the back of your closet."

"Why didn't you try to stop me."

"When have I ever been able to stop you from doing something once your mind is made up? I know you. I knew you wouldn't leave Mel unless you had no choice. So, go and get back as soon as you can."

"Julian, I_______."

"I know. But boy, do you owe me."

Six days. Six long, horrible days.

There wasn't a part of her that didn't notice his absent. Anytime she managed to fall asleep then she always woke sobbing. Weeping.

She needed his touch. His arms. She needed the peace that filled her just by being near him. He was her drug and the loss of him had very nearly killed her.

Day three and four. None of them would be forgetting day three and four anytime soon.

The sounds of her screams had even haunted her.

Day three. That had been Macie's day one.

Poor kid. She was too young to know what she was feeling or why. Fever ravaged her small, helpless body. Her mark hot to the touch. Eventually she started asking for Savion.

Jess knew how she felt.

Just that thought started up the waterworks.

Kellum

Wow eyes. Touching her face. Leaning over her.

She took a deep breath.

Day six.

If she was going to die, she would have already done it. Yeah, take your pick. Day three or four but she lived through it and found that there was another side to all of this. All the helplessness and pain of separation remained but she was able to live with it. Accept it.

Macie, for whatever reason hadn't fared as bad as her but it was still upsetting seeing her so forlorn and detached. Sometimes the child sat staring off in the distance and Jess knew what she was looking for.

Jess caught herself looking for the same thing.

But they weren't coming

He wasn't coming.

She felt the loss of him down to her very soul. Each day she lost more and more of him and more and more of herself, but she was surviving. The mark never stopped burning now but she could bare it.

Life went on.

Humans live with a broken heart all the time. They could endure much and keep moving. Sinful had said it best, when she asked him what he was going to do on the outside. Live.

It wasn't going to be easy. Some days they found very little food. Even water was hard to find. They still haven't seen another living soul. They couldn't even build a fire.

But they would learn. They would adapt.

The end of the world? Not yet. We're still holding on. But damn it, she still would have rather the zombies.