Persephone 

Eight years ago my world came crashing down. 

I went from knowing what my future looked like to not even knowing if I could walk tomorrow. 

People love to say everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wonder if they're talking out of their ass. 

Like did they experience something so awful that you sit and wonder how that could possibly happen to you?

Losing my mom and my career in one day....that doesn't sound very optimistic.

I can still see the news coverage on it, the articles that were written. 

The taglines to get people to read the articles. 

I had lost so much that day.

"Babe are you still coming with me to the house?" Peyton asks and I feel the bed dip beside me. 

I lay on my bed staring down at my knee. At the jagged scars that run up and under my knee cap. Those scars aren't just external and they run deeper than just my knee.  

"Maybe you should come and not wallow-"

"I'm not wallowing." I mumble and I hear her sigh, "You do this every year, aren't you tired of it?"

I look up at her, "Tired of it?" I scoff, "Just go without me, please." I plead softly. I'm not in the mood to fight with her because she can't understand what I'm going through or how much pain this day holds for me. 

She sighs "Fine but I think you need to stop this. Every year its the same, you lock yourself in your room and cry. It's not very healthy."

I don't respond and she takes that as her queue to leave. 

"If you change your mind I'll be hanging with the guys." She tells me and when I don't respond I hear her release another sigh. 

I hear the door open and shut, leaving me alone to throw my pity party. 

"Why did this have to happen?" I'm still staring at my knee, "Why did you have to leave me mom? Why couldn't I have gone with you?"

Then I let the tears fall. Rain starts to patter against the window and it feels fitting. 

At least it's not snowing. I hate the snow. 

Asa

When Peyton enters the house I notice two things. 

One, she looks upset and two, she's Percy-less.

"Where's Seph?" Miles asks before I have a chance too. 

I think it's a good thing, that girl is messing with my mind to much. 

Just yesterday we spent half the night in hysterics because of some crap indie movie she found online. 

I have never spent so much time with a girl and it not leading to us getting naked. 

You let her get close to you man, I know that. 

She doesn't know that she's the first girl to ever be on my mind constantly. I need it to stay that way, which is why I swore Ridge to secrecy. 

He may know how I feel but I also know he's got a thing for her best friend. A girl who's very much in a relationship. 

"Oh she's uh..she's busy." Peyton says but I am sure everyone in this room can see through her. 

Percy was right, she's an open book.

"What, is she hooking up with a guy or something?" Ridge jokes and I clench my fists beside me. 

She better fucking not be. 

Peyton laughs, "Yeah no. She's just- I cant say ok dont pressure me." She looks ready to burst with whatever she's keeping inside.

She flops down on the couch beside Ridge. 

"Didn't she say she'd hang out today?" Miles asks and Peyton nods, "Well that was before she remembered what today was." As quickly as she says it she throws a hand over her mouth, her eyes widening. 

"What's today?" I ask and she shakes her head, "I've already said too much, oh god she's going to kill me."

It dawns on me that today coach had canceled practice this morning. 

"Is it with her dad?" I ask and Peyton looks like she's about to combust. 

"I- yes? No..I mean sorta not really they dont interact on today because of- FOR FUCKS SAKE IT MADE THE NEWS JUST LOOK IT UP I NEED TO GO!" She yells before standing and heading towards the door. 

"What do we look up?" Ridge calls out as he pulls out his phone, clearly not phased by Peyton's outburst. 

She sighs, "Persephone Porter accident." Is all she says before disappearing. 

I sit beside Ridge, Miles on his other side as he types it in the search engine. 

For a moment guilt washes over me at the fact we are going behind Percy's back and looking something up she hasn't told us herself but then I see what pops up and it goes to the back of my mind. 

Articles upon articles pop up referring to the accident. 

"Click that one." I point to one that says 'Porter, Olympic hopeful loses all.'

"Shit." Ridge whispers as we read the article. 

Persephone Porter isn't just Adam Porters daughter. No, Persephone Porter was a contender to be in the Winter Olympic Games for figure skating.

She was thirteen at the time and was due to be in the games two years later. All the articles we skim through didn't have a trace of doubt that she would make it to the olympics. 

It was an icy night, her mom was driving. There was a deer that ran out on the road and her mom swerved hitting a tree. 

Callie Porter didn't survive but Persephone Porter did. She had a fractured rib, broken wrist, and a career ending knee injury.

Persephone

"I made a big freaking mistake babe, please dont kill me." Peyton says as she enters the dorm room. 

I push the blanket off of my head and sit up, looking at her. My hair is all over the place but I can't find it in me to care. 

"What did you do?" I ask slowly when I see the panic on her face. 

"I am so, so, sooooo sorry." She says as she paces the room. 

I sit up straighter, slightly freaked out. 

"Pey, what did you do?" I repeat and she groans, "The guys wanted to know where you were and I sort of- well not really but I did tell them. I'm sorry again."

"It's ok." and she sigh, "Its not it wasn't my place I-"

I put my hand up, "It really is fine, I mean it's not like it's some secret." I can't be mad at her for this, I know she can't keep a secret, well unless it comes to Phoenix. 

"I know but you weren't ready to tell them and I just went a head and told them anyways." She actually looks on the verge of tears because she told the guys. 

Getting up I walk over and give Peyton a hug. 

"Have I told you how amazing you are?" I ask and she laughs as she hugs me back, "Not really no." She jokes. 

"Well you are, and I really am not mad." I truly wasn't mad. Would I like to have told Asa specifically on my own time, sure, but like I said it wasn't some big secret being hidden from the world. 

That left the building the moment those reporters and bloggers started posting about me and my mom, hovering at the hospital where my dad had to get actual security to get us out. 

It wasn't an easy time but times like this I remember who was there for me, Peyton. 

She was there to hold my hand through it all. The funeral, the physical therapy visits, whenever I needed to cry. She was there. 

We pull apart and I grab my phone from my nightstand. 

"What are you doing?" She asks suspiciously. 

"I want to tell Asa what happened." I tell her. 

I'm in a weird place today but I want to be open with him. I want him to be able to trust me and I know by now he's read what the bloggers put out but I want him to know what happened to me by me. 

I want to tell him the life altering reality of it all and I want to bring my guard down a bit when it comes to him. 

Asa might not be ready to share it all with me but I want to with him. 

I want to tell him everything. 

_____

Edited

A/N I finally watched In The Dark and I need season four right now!!! That ending put me in a slump I slept for thirteen hours last night, then I got up ate a bag of marshmallows and went back to sleep. 

Oh and happy Halloween besties, I saw an absolute dilf today where I work.