JOANNA

Getting to my car is a struggle. My muscles are heavy with a dull, throbbing pain. I can feel the weight of Gabe's gaze on me the whole time, but I don't dare to look back. If there's something I've learned lately, it's that having a sense of self-worth is invaluable. I could've accepted his apology and stayed with him until he waits for the DNA results. But then what?

Building a family is my dream. Having to witness him becoming a father to someone else's child would have destroyed me. And I'm already shattered as it is.

What hurts the most is that I really believe he loves me. I really think he'd do anything to go back in time and do things differently.

But he can't.

For some fucked up reason, he's okay to support this woman until whenever she's ready to do the paternity test.

Well, I love myself enough to know I deserve more than this shit.

Maria is leaning against my car, waiting for me. When our eyes meet, she gives me a reassuring smile. I'm unable to hold my tears inside. God, what would I do without this girl?

Pulling me into a hug, she holds me tight until my last tear is dry. I'm grateful for her silent support. There's nothing she can say right now. It is what it is.

As I look around one last time, the bright yellow paint of Ed's place stands out against the blueness of the sky, drawing my eyes to it. Seeing his house transports me back to me and Gabe having such a wonderful time together. Without even knowing it, Ed gave me a memory that I will always cherish.

I said my goodbyes to him earlier, but I can still remember the lump in my throat as I left his place. He could sense something was up, but was too polite to ask. I don't need him catching a glimpse of me in my current state. He would probably be worried, and the last thing I want is to disturb his peace.

"Are you ready to go?" I hear Maria say.

"I am." I bring my eyes to her and she nods.

"So, let's get out of here."

*****

After reassuring Maria for the hundredth time that I'd be fine, she finally went back home. We arrived at my place a couple of hours ago and she made me go straight to the bathroom to shower while she ordered something for us to eat.

She was probably afraid I was going to fall into a depressive state. I confess all I wanted to do was hide under my covers, but I feel much better after a hot shower and food in my stomach.

It's still early, so I force myself to open my computer and work a little.

For the next couple of hours, I spend my time replying to emails, paying some bills, and working on the manuscripts I'm editing.

My phone beeps at eight with an income text, and my heart stops for a second, thinking it's Gabe. Reaching out for it on the couch, I see it's from my dad, inviting me for lunch whenever I'm free. I quickly text him back, saying I'll call him with a date soon. Guess I can't keep ignoring him forever.

Returning to my computer, I see a folder of the songs Gabe and I were writing. Unable to resist, I double-click the little icon and sigh at all the notes we took together.

For me, it looks like a bunch of unfinished drafts, but Gabe assured me he could work around all of them. I read them all anyway, and a flood of memories invades my mind.

There are also some videos we recorded together. Him singing. We playfully arguing over word choices. Him getting me to come up with a book scene for every random topic he made up. We simply laughing and joking around.

We seem happy in all of them. Now, as I look at the screen in front of me and contemplate our time together, I see how clearly in love we were from the beginning.

An unexpected sob leaves my lips as I watch a video of him playing my favorite song from their last album. It talks about finding love and getting lost in the moment, and my heart aches at how amazing he sounds.

It feels like he's looking straight into my soul as he sings.

I'm embarrassed to say I spend the night listening to him on repeat.

*****

A week has passed, and Gabe hasn't reached out. A part of me is relieved, but I can't deny I miss him. I know. I'm a mess. Don't judge me.

In my defense, what could I do?

Watching Nora play the baby mama role would have devastated me if I didn't leave him. I don't even want to imagine the baby being his. That would bring a whole new level of pain.

So, here I am, trying to move on.

A beep of my phone alerts me to an income text.

MARIA: Gabe really decided to wait until the baby is born to do the paternity test. Just wanted to keep you in the loop.

ME: Well, then.

MARIA: I still think she's manipulating him.

ME: He's a big boy. He knows better than to allow her to play him. He definitely cares about her and doesn't want to put their life at risk.

MARIA: ARGH! It's Friday. I'll stop by later with booze and junk food.

For a moment, I consider telling her I'm fine, but then I think better. I need to move. God, I need to find a way to forget about him. Isolating myself will do me no good.

Putting my big girl's panties on, I spend the day working. Writing a romance novel is too damn hard when you got your own heart broken. But I keep reminding myself this is my job and if I ever want to achieve my dreams, I can't allow a man to stop me.

The ring of the bell startles me. Looking at the clock, I see it's already seven in the evening. I walk to the door and swing it open to find Maria on the other side, carrying two huge paper bags.

"What is it?" I ask, getting one from her and inspecting it inside.

"Comfort food and booze." She winks, placing the things on the coffee table.

"Aw, you got my favorite wine?" I feel my lips curling. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, girl."

"Well." She grabs a pack of Hershey's Kisses from a bag. "Thank God you're stuck with me, then."

"Oh, talking about gifts..." I rush to my desk, grabbing the packet that arrived earlier. "I got you a little something, too."

"Oh, my gosh! Don't tell me this is a copy of our favorite book ever signed by our favorite author in the entire world?" She squeals, taking it from my hands.

I chuckle. "Okay, it's not our favorite book..."

"Gah!" She throws her arms at me, jumping up and down. "How did you get it?"

"I was able to pull some strings." I shrug, loving the excitement in her eyes.

"Did you see this new booktok trending where guys pretend to be book boyfriends and lean against the door to kiss the girl?" She laughs excitedly. "They did one for all the heroes from her books."

"Really?" I grab my phone, and sure enough, the trend is amazing. "Wow! This is so cool!"

"I know, right?" She walks to the kitchen. "Let me get some glasses."

Walking back to the couch, I aimlessly keep scrolling on my phone, not prepared for the video that pops up. It all happens so fast, it takes a moment for my mind to process what the hell is going on.

Gabe is leaving a restaurant with Nora by his side.

His hand is pressed to her lower back as he ushers her into a car.

She is protectively holding her baby bump.

The caption reads Hot Baby Daddies.

My heart breaks all over again. It doesn't look like he's being manipulated at all.

_____

A/N: My heart! Hang in there, guys!

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Celeste