Chapter 16

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GABRIEL

As Jo's body collapses over mine, I feel like my chest is about to crack open. My heart is beating way too fast and my head is fucking spinning. I'm still feeling the after waves of my orgasm and my cock is begging me not to pull out, but to go for a second round.

I've never felt like this before.

I didn't know it was possible.

The level of trust she has placed in me is immense, infiltrating my heart and making me feel lightheaded. I want to tell her how I'm feeling, but the lump in my throat makes it hard to say the words. The intensity of what we have is something so strong, yet so fragile, that it almost seems unreachable. I don't want to freak her out by saying or doing something wrong.

When she sighs and pulls her face to look at me, I know I'll have to let her take the lead on where we go from here.

"I can't believe we just had sex..." She bites her lower lip and my cock twitches inside her.

"Do you regret it?" The words leave my lips in a rush, and I swallow hard when she looks away.

"I think we both saw it coming, right?" She gives me a small smile, and I nod, trying to figure out what the hell that means.

"Jo..."

"We should clean up before everyone's back." She squeezes my shoulder so I can move.

"Right, uh..." I pull out, my cock already missing her when I put her down. "Do you want me to shower in my room or...?"

"Yeah... Uh... I don't want to risk having Maria catching us here together and..." She brings her eyes back to mine, almost pleading for me to go.

"Okay." I clear my throat. "I.. Uh... Okay." I leave her warm embrace and wrap a towel around my waist before picking up my clothes from the floor.

I take in the sight of her one last time before my fingers curl around the doorknob. Her eyes speak volumes, though her lips remain still.

She wants me to leave.

Fuck!

Giving her a slight nod of understanding, I head toward my room.

With my heart in my throat, I make a quick stop in my bedroom to change, grab my guitar, and walk to the patio. It's still early so there's no way I'll be able to sleep anytime soon. It feels like I'm already screwing things up with Jo even before we got started.

The sight of the dark, endless ocean stretching out along the horizon makes me pause in contemplation. There is something surprisingly soothing about the noise of the waves breaking against the shore. But no matter how hard I try, the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach is still there.

Rubbing the base of my neck, I close my eyes. I had no idea that this short time Jo and I shared would have such a deep and meaningful impact on me. I came here to forget my problems. To reconnect with my roots and to remind myself that I'm more than just a piece of meat to the world.

I ended up falling in love.

God!

I tug my hair, trying to think, but my mind keeps replaying how soft Jo felt in my arms; how tightly she squeezed my cock when she came. She's everything I didn't know I wanted in a woman. Inside out. She's a stunningly beautiful woman with a sharp wit and intelligence that drives me crazy.

I can't believe she kicked me out of her room.

We should talk, right? We should...

Damn it!

I have no clue what to do next. I have so much baggage. All of my instincts tell me that Jo needs someone better than me. But then there's my heart, trying to pound its way out of my chest with the need to be with her.

God, my head is spinning. I've never felt so lost.

I don't know what fate has in store for me, but I can hear a faint whisper in my ear telling me it is time to go back home. The band has a commercial shoot lined up for the end of the month and a series of meetings shortly following. I have my own problems waiting for me, but all I want to do is go back to Jo's room.

I hate the house is full and that Jo and I have no privacy. But most of all, I hate it looked like she was okay with us being just a fling.

Because I am not.

Of course, I realize how hypocritical I sound. I fucking told her sex was just sex, after all. But that was before.

Before I kissed her.

Before I felt my cock sliding into her warm pussy.

Before I fell deeply in love with her.

"Fuck!" I sigh, sitting down on a patio chair.

As I fiddle with the strings of my guitar, I hear the rumble of a car pulling up in front of the house. The sound of the guys' laughter brings a smile to my face. I'm glad that they had a good time. We all feel a deep longing for some sense of normality that we used to have. Even small things like going out to eat without bodyguards and cameras on our faces, as simple as it may sound, are truly appreciated.

Thankfully, they don't see me and head straight inside. I don't want to put a damper on their evening. They deserve some drama-free moments.

I lose track of time. But when I hear the creaking of a chair as Josh settles in front of me, I put my guitar away and accept the beer he's offering me. I should have seen it coming. Of course, he'd want to talk.

When I followed Jo inside the house earlier today, he took one look at me and knew I needed some privacy to talk to her. He then proposed the group venture out to eat. I almost kissed him at that moment. Despite all the shit he causes on a daily basis, he's my best friend. Someone I know I can always count on. I guess that's why it hurts so much to know he wanted an out.

"Did you guys finally have sex?" He tilts his head to the side, and I choke, sputtering and spraying beer everywhere.

"What the...?" I cough, my voice hoarse.

"Of course you did." He smirks. "You're welcome, by the way. Convincing your sister to leave the house when Jo said she was sick was not an easy task."

I take a long sip of my beer, my eyes closing for a second. "I shouldn't have crossed that line with Jo."

"Look, I hate to say that." He rummages through the front pocket of his jacket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "But you're right."

I snort. "Thanks."

"Come on, man." He kicks my foot. "She just came out of a nasty relationship."

"I know, but..."

"Do you really think she's only looking for a good time?" He stares at me, and I look away, shaking my head.

"No. That's not her style."

"She's into you..."

"But?"

"What could you offer her besides a good time right now?" He presses and I throw my beer bottle out against a wall by our side as rage runs through my body. He's right. I have nothing to fucking offer her right now. Just a trail of bullshit I've tried in vain to leave behind.

"Does she know about Nora?" he asks, and my eyes narrow as I meet his. The last thing I need right now is for him to bring up Nora. She's a mistake I can't seem to shake out of my life.

Snorting, he shakes his head before continuing. "Do you really think coming here and shacking up with a good girl who's been into you her whole life would make your problems disappear?"

"What are you talking about? Jo has not-"

"Fuck, man." He curls his finger around a cigarette and inhales deeply, the red glow of the tip brightening in the darkness. "You're more stupid than I thought."

My elbows slump onto my knees, and my hands pull at my hair in frustration. "Appreciate the kindness."

"You'd have to be blind not to see Jo has feelings for you, bro." He draws the smoke in, savoring the taste before releasing it in a gentle stream. "But maybe you've been so focused on hiding your own feelings you haven't really realized it before."

"What are you getting at, Josh?"

"Jo is a nice woman." He stares at me. "She doesn't deserve your bulshit right now."

I swallow hard, feeling the strain on my shoulders as the weight of the world and all the problems in my life seem to crash down on me. "I didn't know I wanted her that much until I had her..." I whisper.

"But again, what can you offer her right now?" He presses his palm to my shoulder, shaking me a little

"Fuck, I... I don't know what to do." I sigh.

"You and me both, man." He brings his eyes to the ocean ahead of us. "I just think you should man up and be honest with her about everything."

Nodding, I sink deeper into my chair as my eyes close. How do I open up to her without losing her in the process?

_____

A/N: What's up with Gabe and Nora in your opinion?

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XOXO

Celeste


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