Orignial Publish Date: 4/2/2009

 I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel that my eyes were still puffy and red from crying myself to sleep. Unfortunately, I woke up just two hours after I’d fallen asleep.

 I could hear the vampires all around the house laughing, talking, and having a good time. It didn’t matter though, because my thoughts kept wandering back to what Lucian was doing at this precise moment. Was he in a group, joking about humans? Or was he out on a stroll in the moonlight?

 I rolled over onto my side and sighed. It was useless trying to think of something else, but I tried nonetheless. When I had no luck though, I swung my feet over the side of the bed and wrapped a fluffy green robe around myself. I stepped outside the door after checking that no one was in the hall, and I made a run for it towards the front entrance to the huge mansion.

 Flinging open the door and walking out, I took a deep breath of the crisp night air, knowing that it was where I belonged; even if I denied it. I crossed my arms across my breasts and began walking nowhere. The forest was beautiful at this time of night, with the moon so full, and I could hear the guardian wolves trotting along beside me to make sure I wasn’t up to something and no one else was either. They honestly were beautiful creatures, and I admired their wisdom. It seemed they always knew what to do. Unlike me.

 I sat down on the smaller of two large boulders I eventually came across, and looked up at the stars. They shone so bright in this sky – a view you couldn’t get with the bright city lights. I sighed. The thought of living this life was tempting indeed, but it was just wishful thinking. I doubted anything could be this perfect.

 Turns out I was right.

 Suddenly the wolves started panting heavily, some growling lowly. They slunk away into the deeper shadows of the forest and I soon heard footsteps crunching across dead leaves and dry pine needles.

 I trusted the wolves to protect if need be, so I didn’t move from my spot as the sound grew closer and closer. Soon enough though, I found that they didn’t need to protect me. A familiar face stepped out from the trees and hesitated when they saw me. Lucian glared at me and continued walking, a black wolf striding perfectly next to him. The wolf looked up at me and hesitated which, as I observed, surprised Lucian because he stopped and turned to the wolf to see what was wrong. The wolf started whimpering at me.

 “No, leave her alone. Come, we will have nothing to do with her.” Lucian commanded and began to walk again. The wolf hesitated a minute longer and followed obediently. I got the feeling though, that even if this wolf listened to him, it didn’t have to and was still a wild and free spirit.

 “I’m glad to see you too.” I mumbled and both Lucian and the wolf stopped dead in their tracks.

 “No you’re not. We’re obviously bothering you, so we’ll be on our way.” He didn’t even turn around to say it.

 “I was being sarcastic jackass, and the only reason you’re bothering me is because you act like that.” I indicated his bad attitude and they both stiffened. I quirked an eyebrow at the wolf, who seemed to do almost everything Lucian did.

 Suddenly, the wolf trotted over to me and laid his head in my lap. I looked at him in surprise and spared a glance at Lucian before I began to stroke his thick-furred neck. Soon I realized, as I stroked the wolf’s fur, that Lucian was swaying as if I were petting him too. I rested my hand atop the wolf’s head and looked down into his golden eyes. He stared right back at mine too, and it was like he could see into my soul. I smiled at him and kissed his nose, then rose to my feet.

 I walked up to Lucian, keeping a safe distance, but close enough that I could whisper and he would hear; though I’m sure he’d hear me whisper even if I hadn’t moved…

 “It’s like playing tug-o-war Lucian; one side is my head and the other is my heart. Every time I see you I change my mind.” I admitted, watching for some type of reaction.

 Lucian didn’t turn to face me, but I saw him inhale sharply. “And what decision are you at right now, then?” He asked, his tone low and just barely above a whisper. The wolf trotted to my side and I stroked his ears subconsciously.

 “I want you. Really bad.” I breathed.

 Lucian’s breath exhaled in a slow hiss and he whirled around to glare at me. “You should go back to the mansion; it’s not safe out here.” His words were forced through clenched teeth and I felt my hand tighten into fists.

 “You want me up until I want you back and suddenly you hate me. Make up your goddamn mind before I do it for you!” I spat and the wolf tensed angrily.

 “You’re the one who keeps me walking on fucking eggshells woman! You push me away constantly and right when I give up trying, you decide it’s time you give yourself to me. Then of course you hate me for not jumping on the opportunity. I’m tired of being fucked with!” He growled and whirled back around to walk off at a furious pace. I did the same, heading off in the opposite direction.

 Then I hesitated. If I walked away now, that was it. Lucian would be out of my life. The thought of that made my stomach twist into knots and my knees feel weak. I turned around, only to find that he had done the same.

 For the longest time we just stood there looking at each other across the small clearing. His entire being looked ethereal standing there in the moonlight as he was, with a wolf at his heels. The lines and planes of his masculine face were beautifully defined by the pool of light that spilled around him, bathing him in a mysterious sort of beauty. Even his silver hair sparkled and shone in the rays of the great moon.

 Finally I made my legs work, and I began to walk forward. Forward towards the man, or vampire, I desperately loved but denied myself. I smiled and his eyes began to widen. “Don’t be so surprised, I only-.” But I was cut off by a whoosh-ing sound, and shortly after a sharp pain raced through my arm.

 I dared to look down and screamed harder than I ever have in my entire life. Protruding from my arm was a sharp metal arrow, piercing itself completely through and stopping at half-hilt. I could just faintly hear Lucian screaming at me, but the thundering of my heart blocked out almost every sound, no matter how close. All I could do was stand there and stare in shock at my arm. I couldn’t even register what was going on or what had happened.

 Suddenly I felt a brush of soft fur against me and another arrow whisked past my head to land not two feet from where I stood.

 That got my attention.

 I jumped and ran, feeling the adrenaline pump through my veins like a drug. I didn’t know where I was going, and could hardly see anything because my vision was becoming blurry, but I knew that Lucian’s wolf was right beside me the entire time and that any sane part of me that was left would take me somewhere safe.

 I passed shape after shape, identifying most as trees or stumps. By this time, tears were pouring down my face like a damn just broke, but amazingly I felt no pain. I managed to reason with myself that it was the adrenaline and I would definitely feel the wound later.

 With everything looking the same, I wasn’t sure whether or not I was going in circles. Everything kept blurring more and more, and soon enough I was just waiting for the moment when I blacked out.

 Turn left! I heard Lucian’s voice shout in my head and I nearly killed myself by stumbling in fright. How the hell had he done that? I’ll explain it later; turn left! He yelled again. With not too many options, I obeyed my order and I veered to the left to high-tail it that way. I could hardly hear the wolf at my side and I wished I could see properly to know he was still there.

 Sure enough, we soon came upon a shape that I could tell was definitely not a tree. Sweat was pouring down my forehead and my muscles were screaming at me from the long run of fright. I may be a runner, but that was way further than I’d run in three years.

 As I approached what I guessed was the house, little black dots began to sparkle in my vision and I felt my legs beginning to fail me. I started to panic as my body started to faint. I tried to scream, or yell, or anything but nothing worked. I began to stumble over myself and eventually I fell to my knees, gripping onto the soft pelt of my canine companion for dear life.

 The black dots grew bigger, and eventually I lost all sight whatsoever. The last thing I can remember before I was out was Lucian, screaming for help and whispering to me over and over in my head, begging me to stay with him. Don’t do this to me my love, not now…