"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop."
-Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)

Opening Curtain

Crazy Farm

It's a strange feeling. Not a feeling that can be described in words really, more like images, strange weird kaleidoscope type images. Have you ever felt it? That feeling I mean, the feeling of slowly going crazy and knowing it. I'm sure you think you're going crazy, but then how crazy can you be? Obviously you haven't felt it, and you can't relate. I might, possibly, maybe, most definitely, have to tell you to fuck off and leave me be; that is, if you're not twelve monkeys shy of a barrel. However, if you so happen to be a little off-centre; or you were conned into buying this fine piece of memorable literature with no refunds, then please continue and enjoy the show...just remember to wear a poncho. Safety first!

To feel one's mind going, slipping, ever falling. It's a strange feeling to know when one's mind is going, slowing going crazy. I caught glimpses of it in my youth from time to time, but always knowing, never stopping.

I couldn't stop, didn't know how to stop. It's a funny thing knowing you're going crazy, slowly going, and not being able to stop. Don't you agree? No, you wouldn't, would you? Maybe you would. Would you like fries with that?

When was the last, the last time...?

I think I forgot to take my meds...

Because I'm slowly going crazy, one, two, three, four, five, six, switch. My life, my life as it were, fragments and tossed salad memories play over and over in my head.

Rewind, play, fast forward, pause, play, rewind, skip ahead...

My life, my world, looking back is never played the same twice. Try it, look at yours, wait a year, then look again; never exactly the same.

Take for example an event in your life, any event; let's say an outing to a restaurant with your friends. The next day you remember it vividly, lots of fun, good times. A month later the memory looses some content, you forget things, and maybe you're in a bad mood, so it's told differently than the last. A year later, two perhaps, you are no longer friends with one of them, you omit their presence, you're in a different frame of mind, and older now. Once again the story has changed. Your life, my life, is never the same played twice.

Don't believe me, feel free to stop reading. I don't care. Talking to myself has the same desired effect.

I would do that, you know, talk to myself. It started off in the comfort of my own home, like we all do; unbothered, then outside, walking around when no one was present; but eventually, people started appearing. I would catch myself, embarrassed, stopping myself in mid-sentence. It continued however. I stopped caring, my conversations continued, sometimes loud, sometimes whispered, but they never faded.

Crazy is as crazy does, thank you Forrest.

I have a story to tell, a monkey on my back. It can't be eased or ripped off. Bear with me as I get this monkey off my back. I have no choice in the matter. Follow if you can, follow, follow. Follow the yellow brick road all the way to Oz.

I've always wanted to be a writer. No wait, can I take that back? May I? Do you mind if I did? I really don't care you see, I was just being polite. I've always wanted to be a storyteller, you know the ones. The real ones, the true. The ones that would sit in the centre of town and minute after minute, word after word, share with the people a story from their head, opening their minds. Bless thee Hans Christian Anderson.

I'm stuck in a doorway, my doorway, trying to move, can't make a move. Life is less a path, more like a doorway, with many doors.

You with me? Still there? I can't promise anything. Don't get your hopes up. It's your choice. That's all we have as a human race, that's all we have left, choices. I'm willing to share my sandbox with you, I learnt sharing is caring. This is my choice, what's yours?

I'm not sure anymore what's what, what's who, and the whys are buried under a shovel. You with me? Let's find those skeletons...

Monologue

Talk too much

How does this go again? Once upon a time? A long time ago in a galaxy far away? Shit no, too predictable, too plain, and too over played. If you're going to start a story, you might as well jump right in, start where the action is. If you don't, there is a chance you might loose your audience. They'll end up walking away, feeling like they have wasted a fraction of their life listening to you ramble on. Of course there is always a chance of that whether or not you jump right into a story, but there's no need to worry about that. In all honesty if you suck, you suck. Think about it this way, who loves watching water boiling? Raise you hands. Come on, you in the back, no? Right, everyone wants the water boiled, fuck the waiting. So now that I got that off my chest I might as well start, but stop me if you get bored...no wait, fuck that, I don't care if you're bored. You started listened, it's your own damned fault, so just sit back and finish something for once in your life instead of leaving things half ass. Yeah that's right I'm talking to you.

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