This is the journey, this ain't the end. I'm waiting here till I see you again.

The air was clear and the sun was bright as they sat down on the rocks that guarded the sea from land. The wind was getting up a little, cold and salty as it funnelled up the arms of Abi's coat and made her shiver. She looked out to sea, watching a gull dip and dive along the water, sqwarking at nothing in particular. It was coming up to George's birthday, to Valentine's Day. They had decided to take a trip to the seaside to relax themselves, though the weather really was not suitable for it.

George poured hot tea out of his thermos into two ceramic mugs, chipped and battered from how long they had been stored in the boot of his car for.  They did the job though, Abi cradling the warmth in her hands as she watched grey meet aqua as the sea rolled back out to the horizon. They were quiet, blanket over their legs and coats zipped to their chins. George was humming softly, a song Abi didn't recognise and knew she would quickly get sick of. She sighed, the heat of the tea fogging her glasses as she had a slow sip.

"Talk to me." George said softly, making Abi turn to look at him through misty vision. He laughed softly at the sight. "Things haven't been the same since New Year, Abs..." He said softly, reaching out to rub her thigh over the blanket. Abi looked at him and swallowed nervously.

"I don't think this is going to work, George," She said quietly, the cold air making her glasses return to normal once she had dipped her tea. "I just don't think that I can be with you after everything that happened. Abu, New Year... Whilst I trust you when you say nothing happened with Seychelle, I just hated seeing how you were with Alex, how comfortable you were with Seychelle." She became quiet, George's face soft and eyes damp as she spoke. Her words became difficult, trapped in her throat as her hand took the fingers that rested upon her thigh.

"I felt like this was coming." He said softly, eyes on his hands and then slowly tracing along the soft curves of his soon to ex's side, eventually meeting with hers once more. George could tell this was not a light decision, the pain on Abi's face told him how hard it had been. He understood, he had fucked her over big time. Whilst he had tried so hard to make things right, he knew that nothing would make up for what happened. He needed to accept it, needed to let Abi go on with her life. "I understand, I do." He assured, having a shaky sip of his tea. He did understand, but he didn't like it. He hated how he had ended up letting the pair of them get into this situation. Because he was fully to blame. "I want you to be happy, Abs. You deserve it, you don't deserve to have me mess you around any more than I already have." He swallowed and looked to his mug, watching the liquid skirt the edge of the mug before settling again.

"Until my anxieties are sorted, I honestly don't think I am going to be suitable for a relationship with anyone. We have had an amazing time together and I have loved every moment, but..." Abi sighed, taking a sip of tea as George looked out to sea with a furrowed brow, sadness creasing his face. "I just really don't think this relationship is good for me. And we're going to spend a lot of time apart this year too." She continued, sighing and then looking to the tall lad who sat beside her, their fingers still intertwined, both too sad to let go.

"I will still see you at the factory and things, though.." Abi smiled slightly - that was another thing she was yet to tell George. "And we can FaceTime, spend loads of time together when we have free weekends." Abi knew he was desperate, but she couldn't let him change her mind again. She knew this was the right thing to do as much as it pained her heart.

"I'm leaving Williams over the summer break." She said softly, George's eyes going wide. "I've got a job at Torro Rosso, so... I think I'm going to have to move to Italy." George's face fell, mouth agape.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked, taking his hand from hers and placing his mug down on the rocks beside him. "So not only are you breaking up with me you're moving away too? So this is it?" Perhaps Abi should have told him sooner but, she knew things were coming to an end. He didn't really need to know, did he? She wondered if they would survive the distance anyway, not being able to see each other at the drop of a hat. "Is this what you really want, Abi? You know I am more than willing to work things out, gain your trust again. I know we need time, I am willing to give us as much time, take it as slow was we need. Please." He whispered. Abi could see the tears in his eyes, the desperation in his words. Abi wanted to, she truly did, but she knew she had to treat herself better than that, than you be in a relationship that would only cause her anxiety. She didn't really know what to say, eyes cast out to sea. She couldn't bare to look at George any longer. "Please, Abi." He whispered.

"I'm sorry, George." Was all she could manage, cold fingers reaching to pick up the mug so she could have the last of her tea. She downed it, the sweetness of the tea warming the lump in her throat. She heard shuffling beside her, eyes moving to watch George stand and pick up the thermos, shoving it into the deep pocket of his gilet. He bent down and scooped up his mug, throwing the rest of his tea out to the stones that scooped below them, then reaching his hand out so Abi could pass him hers.

"I'll take you home." George said as Abi stood and folded the blanket, hanging it over her arm as they made their way back to the car. George remained a few steps ahead, mugs clipping and tapping against each other as they made their silent journey.

The Mercedes was thick with afternoon frost when they reached it, heater blasting to warm the thin ice that had covered the windshield. It was tense, awkward, and Abi just wanted to melt into the seat like the ice that was trickling onto the bonnet. She had a cautious look to George, who hadn't made a sound since the beach. He stared out, eyes glazed and bottom lip rolling as his teeth grazed it. She hated seeing him upset, hated seeing anyone upset. Knowing she had caused it made things all the worse, but she also knew George had brought it upon himself.

Once the windscreen was clear and the mist had cleared, George pushed the car into reverse and they made their way from the seafront car park, along the winding hill that housed Clevedon, and on to the M5. It was a long ride ahead, the two looking out the windows as they passed through Bristol and Cheltenham, the radio a low hum at the back of both of their minds. The sky had phased from grey to pink to black, nightfall greeting them as they took the winding country roads back to Cirencester. Laughter was on the radio, but it didn't raise their spirits.

Abi's stomach fell as they reached her home, George parking up and killing the engine, though kept the seat heaters on to keep them warm. She didn't want to get out the car. She didn't want to shut the door on George for the last time. She didn't want this to end.

But it had to.

"Thanks for driving me home." She said quietly, picking up her bag from the footwell and slipping it over her shoulder. She looked to George, his face turned from her and adam's apple bobbing. She sat back in her seat, sighing and rubbing her face with her hands. The lump in her throat was there again, making her jaw ache with its unwilling tug. She placed her hands on her lap, eyes back to George as he reached a hand to wipe his eyes, then looking to her. His cheeks were damp, eyes irritated, tip or his nose red.

"Could hardly leave you stranded 100 miles from home could I." He whispered, clear that the words were painful. They smiled at each other, but sadness soon returned to them both. "I'll see you soon, Abi. Look after yourself." Abi in clicked her seatbelt and let out a final slow breath.

"And you, George. Take care." She tore her eyes from him and opened the car door. She stepped out, into the brisk night air, and then shut it behind her. She didn't dare look back as she walked to her front door, unlocking it with ease and stepping inside. The engine of the Merc roared behind her as it and she pushed the door shut.

He was gone.

//

June 2020

"Bonjourno," Rachel beamed as Abi opened the front door. Her eyebrows rose and she laughed as she was engulfed in a tight hug hug by her childhood best friend. "Hope you don't mind us dropping by, but we thought you might be a little bored without some company." She pulled away, adjusting the breast of her little summer dress. Abi was in linen trousers, violet lace bra peeping through the thin cotton of her vest. She hadn't been expecting guests, instead having spent her last week before the start of the new season pottering about in her garden. "Oh how tanned and beautiful do you look," She gasped, hands clutching Abi's biceps as she looking her up and down.

"Sorry, we? I... I didn't realise you were coming," She laughed as she looked over Rachel's shoulder and to the familiar faces making their way from the boot of the taxi to her front door.

"You have a tent big enough for us all that we can pop into that lovely garden of yours, right?" Abi tried to stutter a response, though Rachel pushed past her and headed inside.

"Hello darling," Dani smiled as she pulled her friend in for a hug. "We just missed you, and we hear Italy is delightful this time of year," She laughed, Abi smiling up at Rich who stood behind her, floppy hair hiding his burnt forehead. "Rach's idea... I don't think she's taking her breakup well." She whispered, the two looking to the woman who was already reorganising the trinkets that filled the shelves in her hallway.

"Makes sense," Abi murmured as she gestured for the two to go inside, pecking Rich on the cheek when he dipped down to do the same. "That everyone?" She laughed, turning to watch her friends as they unlaced their shoes and admired the decor of her little cottage. Rachel and Dani looked to each other, then giggling. Rich rolled his eyes and then nodded at her. Abi, confused, turned her head and looking to the man who loomed behind her, sunglasses pushed up into his flock of soft hair.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me."