Huxley

I wake up the next morning to the sun shining in through Wren's window. I groan a little as I squint against the bright light, rolling over to find my girl still fast asleep. I smile a little as I wrap her in my arms, scooching closer until I can feel her soft skin pressed against mine. I take a moment to savor the feeling, locking this memory away to cherish for years to come. For awhile there, I didn't think I would ever get to experience this. That her anger and resentment would hold her back from what I knew could be an amazing life together. 

But my girl came around. All it took was a little patience. And a lot of perseverance. But I can't imagine life being any better than it is in this moment. 

I lay there with her for awhile until my stomach begins to grumble. I decide to make her some breakfast, figuring she would be starving after all of the exercise we did the night before. I get up and head to the kitchen, grabbing a few pans and some food from the fridge. I'm almost ready to plate the food when I hear a little voice from behind me.

"Holy hell. That smells amazing, Hux." Wren says as she patters into the kitchen. She's wearing one of my hoodies, the sleeves hanging down well past her hands as she uses them to wipe the sleep from her heavy eyes. Her hair is a nest of tangles and I smile widely at the sight. I pour her a cup of coffee and add some cream, handing it to her and pressing a kiss against her head. 

"I had to feed my little bird." I murmur as she takes a sip of her coffee. She gives me a shy smile and stands up on tippy toes to kiss my cheek and tucks herself into my chest, asking silently for a hug. I oblige, wrapping her in my arms and holding her until she squirms herself free. She grabs the plate I made and goes to sit at the table, folding her legs under her and sitting criss cross on the chair. I watch as she slathers maple syrup all over her french toast, grinning like an idiot as I admire her. She catches me staring and rolls her eyes at me.

"Grab your food, weirdo." She says, motioning towards the stove. I chuckle at her and grab another plate. She stands and goes to the fridge and we bump into each other as she opens it. 

"Ope, sorry." She murmurs as she grabs the butter from the top shelf. 

"We're gonna need a bigger house when we have kids." I say. I freeze when my own words register, mentally kicking myself for being so insensitive. I look over at Wren whose eyes are locked on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't think before I said that. We don't need to talk about that." I say earnestly and she gives me a weak smile.

"It's alright. I know you didn't mean anything by it." She says and I sigh, running my hand down my face in frustration at my own idiocy. I walk over to her, gripping her chin and urging her to look at me. Her easy smile from earlier has disappeared, worry clearly etched on her face. 

"What's bothering you?" I ask gently and she sighs, putting the butter down on the table before looking back at me. 

"Do you want kids?" She asks meekly and the question knocks the wind from my lungs. I sit down at the table, her mirroring my action as she watches me nervously. I take a few deep breaths, considering my words carefully before I answer her. 

"I want you, Wren. You. Would I like to have kids with you? Yes. But I would be just fine if we didn't. We can still have an amazing, full, beautiful life together with just the two of us. Maybe a dog." I say, giving her my most honest smile. She watches me carefully, scrutinizing me for any sign of dishonesty. After a moment her eyes fill with tears and she bats them away angrily. 

"What if it happens again?" She says so quietly I can barely hear her. 

"What? A miscarriage?" I ask and she nods, looking at me with sorrow so deep it physically hurts me. 

I stand from my chair and round the small table towards her, lowering myself to my knees in front of her and grabbing her hand in mine. I lay my head on her lap, closing my eyes as I share in her grief with her. 

"I can't promise it won't happen again. But I can promise you that I will be here for you. Every moment. Every step of the way. You'll never be alone again." I say firmly, looking up at her. Her eyes are still glossy and she sniffles. I reach up to wipe her tears away and watch as she takes a deep haggard breath. 

"Did they give any reasoning? Why it happened?" I ask gently and she shakes her head. 

"The doctor said sometimes things just happen. But a part of me..." She stops and hiccups before fresh tears flow down her face. "A part of me will always wonder if it was my fault." She whimpers. I grab her and pull her into my lap, both of us sitting on the kitchen floor as I tighten my hold on her, my heart cracking open in my chest thinking about what this girl went through without me. 

The unnecessary guilt she's carried.

"You listen to me, you sweet precious girl. That was not your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. Don't you for one second forget that. You hear me?" I ask firmly, urging her to look at me. Her red rimmed eyes meet mine and she sniffles back her tears, nodding before tucking her head back into my chest. 

I hold her as she cries, rubbing my hands along her back to soothe her. Once she's stopped, she looks up at me and places her hands on my face.

"I wish you had been here. I needed you." She says sadly. I feel my own eyes fill with tears and I nod in agreement. 

"I know, baby girl. I'll feel guilty about that for the rest of my life." I admit. She sighs and shakes her head, running her thumbs along my cheeks. 

"I don't want you to feel guilty. It doesn't do either of us any good." She responds. I sigh heavily and nod, pressing a firm kiss to her forehead as I squeeze her again. 

"I want to have babies with you." She whispers and I pull away to look down at her. My obvious shock must register in my face because she smiles and lets out a little laugh. 

"Really?" I ask and she nods. 

"But not right now. We have a lot to deal with right now." She says. I huff out a laugh, nodding at her words. 

"We do." I agree.

"But you would make the most amazing father." She says and I feel my chest warm at her words. 

"You will be an even more amazing mother. I love you so much, Wren. So so much." I say, my words dripping with honesty. 

"I love you too, baby. Now can I finish my breakfast? I'm starving after all the work we did last night." She says with a mischievous grin that makes my heart skip a beat. I chuckle a little and help her up, standing and giving her one last hug before I pull her chair out for her.

"Eat up, little bird. You'll need your energy for later."