Josh's POV
Chapter Twenty-Four: kiss
*edited

Wanna know what really sucks?

When your crush leaves you with 'I like you' and then denies he even says it.

I know why he did it, and it probably didn't mean how I took it. But every part of me willed it to mean what I wanted it to mean.

I dunno what hurts worst, that or stubbing your toe.

Callum left at like five in the morning last night, saying he'd be back later, giving me a wink and then exiting through my bedroom door.

It was now 10, my mom and dad were gone. Sylvia was at her... I dunno... she was at that guy's house.

I was by myself, bored as hell.

I was about to take a nap when I heard the doorbell ring.

I stumbled down seeing a package on the ground and grinning. Callum's gift had come.

I had just made it up the stairs when the doorbell rang again.

I groaned, going downstairs and throwing the door open, seeing Callum grinning, a box of donuts in his hand.

"Cherry?" I asked.

"Cherry." He repeated, happily. "Just for you."

~~~

Callum and I sat at the kitchen counter, enjoying our variety of donuts.

Callum looked... extra breath taking today. Cringe I know. His green eyes seemed to glitter more than usual and his hair had been styled unlike how it normally was, just flopped around. He wore a short sleeved shirt, his muscles straining it.

I caught myself gazing at him and embarrassingly turned back to my donut.

"Ok." Callum sighed, rubbing his hands together. "What are we doing today?" He asked, grinning at me.

I shrugged, "Nothing. My fat ass is too tired." I whined and Callum glared at me.

"Josh. You're fucking beautiful, will you stop with that dumb shit? You make me wanna squeeze you when you say things like that." He made a squeeze gesture with his hands. "Like I don't- Josh you're breath taking. Okay?"

I flushed, "Shut up."

"Hey. I'm not saying you need to, but I'm going on a run later. I'm gonna be bored so... if your weak self wants to come with, I won't say no." He said, bringing a donut slowly to his face.

I bit my lip, noticing Callum's eyes dip before he licked his own and looked away.

I swallowed thickly, "A run..." I groaned. "Me?"

"Yes you." He said poking my arm. "Come with me. It'll be fun."

I groaned. "Fine fine." I waved, not needing much convincing. Honestly I just wanted to hang out with him, "how much are we running? A mile or something?"

Callum snorted, "I dunno. I just run until I can't." He said, watching as I started towards my room to go change.

•

Callum's POV

I'd lost it. That was for sure.

I laughed bitterly to myself.

People... people subconsciously glance at movement... so me glancing at Josh's movement could've just been a subconscious movement.

But it had been his lips. And I had felt-

I thought back to Josh last night. I don't even know what I had meant to say. I could've... cheered him up without seeming like a pervert.

"I like your body" who even says that when comforting someone?

I watched as Josh strolled out down the stairs, his pink shorts on and his face red.

I laughed, "You look adorable." I snickered, watching his face grow even more red and his hands clench to fists.

"These were the only short I have. I haven't worn them since sixth grade."

I shook my head, grabbing his hand. "Doesn't matter. Shorts are shorts. Let's go." I grinned at him.

I started off slow, letting Josh set the pace, and then I sped up. My legs started pumping and I started hearing Josh's breaths become constricted.

I grabbed his hand, "Come on, Josh." I huffed out, "Just a little further."

I cared about Josh. Probably more than you could believe. And it wasn't like I was going to absolutely force him to run for miles and miles for me, besides he didn't need that. I just wanted him out here to spend time with him.

Josh struggled to keep up with me and eventually he gave up, his body stopping with a jerk.

I laughed as Josh flopped on the concrete.

"How far did we run?" He asked breathless on the ground.

I shrugged, "Half a mile" I laughed out, Josh looked at me like I was out of it.

"There's no way. That was definitely like 5." He whined and I grinned at him, offering him my hand, which he refused.

"Come on, get on my back, I wanna go somewhere."

I wasn't sure why my chest felt so thick, I couldn't quite explain it. Like when you really really wanted to hug someone for some reason.

Despite that for as much as he hated on himself, Josh was hella light.

I had just started walking when he started whining. "I can't believe it was only half a mile."

I laughed, "Will you relax? If you keep running you'll be able to run as much as me in no time."

Josh shook his head, his chin resting on my shoulder and his breath breathing onto the side of my neck. I felt weird. Like... shivery? His breathe was cold though, and the running had heated my body up.

The contrast must've caused my neck to feel sensitive.

"I'm never running again. I've learned to love myself. I don't need to be fit like you. You're like if Mr. clean was 20 times younger. And more attractive." He paused, "And had hair."

I laughed again, a grin coming to my face. "You're so funny Josh." I shook my head, "And who knows. Maybe Mr, Clean is my actual dad and the one I have now is a phony."

Josh nodded, "That would make sense. You're dad is a sour sight for sore eyes."

I snorted, "That man isn't even sour. He's rotten."

Josh shrugged, "Or that."

After awhile of walking in silence Josh finally opened his mouth, "So. Are you planning to kill me or something? Because this seems like an awfully long walk."

I shook my head, stopping to hoist him further up my back as he was slipping, I tightened my grip on his tights. "We're going to where I normally run everyday."

Josh scoffed, "I thought you said You just run until You can't"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, but normally I stop at this place and then keep running. Just wait. You'll see." I could already imagine the sparkle in Josh's eyes.

"Just don't kill me." He muttered, wrapping his arms slightly tighter, pushing himself closer to me. So close I almost felt like I could feel his heartbeat through the thin fabric of my sweatshirt.

"I won't. I won't." I hummed, enjoying the way Josh almost felt like a second jacket in the breeze.

~~~

It took another 30 ish minutes for us to actually arrive there. When he first saw it he glared at me;

"You took me to a park? That's dumb."

I rolled my eyes, "Will you shut up and come with me, stupid." I shook my head, grabbing his hand and he hesitantly followed behind me.

I took him around some bushes and a few trees and then I showed him the pond.

It was a gentle sight. Ducks gently swimming around, orange-ish fish, cog fish I think, swimming with others. They were peaceful. The real scenery was the sun on it. The water was extremely clear being protected from trash thanks to the trees and it's secluded spot. In fact, this was probably somebody's back yard, or somebody's private lake.

But that was okay, because if someone came out here and yelled at us then that's just another memory made.

"Damn." Josh whispered.

The sun sparkled on the water. Just leaning over the pond you could stare back at the reflection, it was almost like a magic mirror. Made you look more amazing then you actually were.

I glanced at Josh's reflection in the water and smiled fondly at it, at how pretty he looked when he smiled... which was a weird thought.

"Now. We gotta wait til it's night time."

So we spent, quite literally, all day at this small pond talking and skipping rocks, both of us failing.

When night came the moon shined down on the pond, you could see the fish resting at the bottom thanks to the extremely clear water.

The stars reflected gently onto the pond, rippling every once in awhile thanks to a slight breeze. The moon gleamed in it, like it was talking to you with it's winks.

Josh and I sat in silence in the warm night.

"Oh wait. Here." Josh said, pulling something small out of the pocket of his shorts.

It was a necklace of some sorts, it had a quarter size bronze circle pendant. On it, engraved a picture of us on the front, looked robotically made but on the back, in Josh's handwriting, engraved was: 'best friends forever, soulmates for always'.

It was something I never really expected in my life.

As a kid, I would get beaten and I'd lay in my room under the blankets and I'd think about how alone I'd feel. Even now as an adult, my parents scream so loudly in my ears, that I'll never have anyone who'd tolerate me.

They scream to the point my ears pop and ring and all I want to do is to close my eyes and let it all fade away. Let that feeling of complete and utter loneliness go away.

Yeah I've been friends with Josh for my whole life, but this was different. I felt weird.

I felt so insanely affectionate I almost wanted to tell Josh to save it for another time.

My breath hitched, I looked at Josh; "Josh this is..." my words caught in my mouth as he smiled gently.

"Glad you like it." He grinned.

Something came over me. It was the same feeling when you see a baby or a puppy and you want to bite it. Except it was kinda different.

It was like every single fiber in my body needed to show Josh how much I appreciated it. Needed to physically show him.

It was like everything needed to be brought to attention but in a way that gets to him. I wanted to let him know about every. Little. Thing.

His pink shorts. His eyes as he looked in the water. Brown, but so fucking beautiful. The most beautiful color. I could go my whole life colorblind if I got to see his eyes.

"Callum, what-"

His words were cut off from my mouth gently pressed against his. Both of us, kinda awkward. I myself was shocked at my actions.

It truly was like a first kiss and it was weird and tense and very very awkward.

Josh started to melt into the kiss but before he could kiss me back I came to my senses and pulled away, stuttering like the goddamn mess I was.

I laughed, "S-sorry. I dunno what the fuck that was." I said, unsure of what I just did. "Let's go back." I said, putting the necklace around my neck.

I felt so goddamn strange.

Girls kiss their best friends all the time right? So that was okay right? Does Josh feel uncomfortable since he's gay? Does he think I was hitting on him.

I could've laughed at my own thought.

Kissing someone out of the fucking blue can't be described as anything but fucking hitting on him.

"Callum stop." Josh's voice rang out, bringing me to stop on my heels.

I turned around towards him.

He seemed shocked I actually did what he asked and his face turned a light red before turning a deep red.

I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm sorry Josh. I just got carried away. We can just forget about it if you want, yeah?"

Josh swallowed hard and went to say something before stopping, "okay."

The walk back wasn't as awkward as expected as I tried endlessly hard not to let this affect our friendship.

We still joked and laughed and I couldn't stop grinning, but now there's was this tension...

And I hated it.

~~~

I hope you enjoyed.

ALSO. THEY FINALLY KISSED WTF

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