Josh' POV
Chapter Twenty-Five: Road Trip
*edited*

Callum was avoiding me...

That stung.

I hadn't told anyone about Callum kissing me, Callum and I acted like nothing happened.
So I didn't understand why he was avoiding me. As much as I love Callum (Love as a friend and like as a crush) I wish he'd realize that, as his best friend, when he ignores me after a simple accident: that shit hurts.

It was like taking six steps forward and twenty four steps back.

Although I did have to give him some slack. The times we have been hanging out his face had been etched into a frown, bags under his eyes. His normal emerald eyes were slightly duller and he was constantly asking if we could just hang in my room, call it a day and nap. He said it was about his sister, and some other stuff he'd just been thinking about. He wouldn't tell me what the other stuff was though.

Today he was over, but the second he walked in the smell of smoke wafted my nose and he went and collapsed on my couch, hands pressed into his eyes as he twitched every once and awhile, deep in his dreams.

Call me creepy or a stalker, I didn't care, I couldn't help but stare at him. An aching in my chest.

If Callum was going through something hard but couldn't consult on me because of what happened... I'd be willing to push away the crush I had on him, push away the way I looked at him, push away everything and just become his best friend again.

That's what he'd do for me.

I'd become the guy who promised to go through thick and thin with him.

I let out a groan and fell onto my back on the floor.

Why is this so damn difficult? I thought in irritation.

It's not like I wanted a crush on the messy, clumsy, sarcastic, tall, freakishly annoying and excruciatingly weird boy I called my best friend.

I was half about ready to grab a stick and bash it on him a few times to get 'revenge' before he stirred awake, misery etched on his face.

"You good?" I asked, gaining only a grunt in reply as he shifted his legs over the edge of the couch.

A sad look suddenly crossed his face and he rubbed his chin. A deep sigh leaving his mouth.

He looked exhausted. Dark gray bags were under his eyes, his brown hair was messier, greasier and more tangled than usual, His face looked like he had aged forty years, His shoulders were slumped, I noticed he was wearing the same clothes he wore when I saw him last two days ago, his hands were slightly shaking and his eyes looked so deeply sad.

He looked at me for awhile, and although I tried to push it back: my cheeks grew red as his eyes ran over me.

"This fucking sucks." He said in irritation, eyes darting away from me.

"What's wrong, Callum?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

He opened his mouth, eyes closed as if he was about to tell me... but then he stopped and shook his head.

"I just want to do something. Go out and do something but this fucking pandemic- and I- I-" he stuttered in anger. "I want to go to a bowling alley or a fucking movie theater and watch a cringy movie with you while we sit in the back and laugh." He ran a hand through his hair, "but noooo, can't do that. It's fucking Corona time isn't it? Isn't it?!" He said towards the sky, as if talking to god himself.

I walked towards him, sitting next to him and he did something that completely caught me off guard.

His legs went to the side of him and his head laid down gently on my lap. His eyebrows were squished together and when he finally looked me in the eyes I couldn't help but look away.

I sighed, running my hand through his hair. It certainly was greasy, not his usual soft, silky hair that I adored. I could tell he was stressed, he was trying to keep me out of it, whatever it was. But I just wanted to be there for him.

My hands just instinctively started to run through his hair, my fingers scratching against his scalp every once in awhile while I closed my eyes and thought hard about what we could do.

I drew a blank.

"I really don't know Callum. I mean, I would suggest park but we basically went to the park the other day." I said, leaving out our kiss. "We baked a cake the other day. I don't know what we could do." I muttered.

I felt Callum relax into me. A look came onto his face. A look that said 'I'm so conflicted' and then the look faded away, his jaw clenched and he muttered quietly. "Let's just stay like this." Almost so quiet I could hardly hear it.

My face grew red and I raised an eyebrow.

"I like being around you." He said even quieter than before as his eyes relaxed closed, "Helps me breathe."

I sighed and put my elbow against the arm of the couch and then placed my head on my hand.

"Ok. Let's do that."

~~~

Callum eventually fell asleep with me still running my hand through his hair.

I hated this, a lot. I didn't want stressed Callum. I wanted to see him smile, grin, laugh and shove me around as we walked and complimented eachother.

Nobody wants to see their friend down, but it was different for me and Callum. I've spent almost everyday of my life with him, he's had his bad days. Getting into fights, snapping, yelling, throwing, and turning away completely and I could handle those, because he always came back so sad and disappointed in himself, and because I knew the real him.

But this version of Callum was the kind I'd never seen before. He didn't look at me with a smirk or amusement when I fell, he didn't laugh when I made a joke. He just sat and stared with a frown etched on his face and worry lines outlining his features.

A thought popped into my head and I gently tugged Callum's hair, creating a groan from him and his eyes to open.

"Hmm?" He hummed out.

"How would you feel about a road trip?" I asked in a mere whisper.

For the first time an a week, there was a tiny spark in his eyes.

It was small and faded instantly at the realization that he would have to drive, but it was there.

"That's a dandy idea, Josh. You're so fucking amazing." He whispered out in almost relief. He sat up, standing up and offered his hand out to me, "let's be off then."

"Right now?"

"Absolutely."

I took his hand in mine and felt my heartbeat race at the contact. I pulled my phone out and texted my mom.

Me:
Callum and I are going to go on a small road trip. We should be back soon.

I got a response almost instantly.

Mommy:
Did you ever think to ask your mother about this before deciding?

I blinked a few times and then winced.

Me:
Sorry... Callum had been down and it's all I could think of doing so it slipped my mind.

Mommy:
You're damn lucky I love both of you. Dont go too far. Be safe. I'll see you later. Love you.

Me:
Sigh~ I'm lucky to have you mama. Ighty, Callum and I promise to be safe 👍 love you too.

I looked at Callum. "So where are we going?" I asked noticing him in the kitchen, raiding my fridge.

"I dunno. I was just thinking of taking some snack foods, some drinks, some blankets, pillows and just driving until we find somewhere." He said, raiding my fridge a little more aggressively than before.

I rolled my eyes, "So were winging it?"

Callum looked at me for a second before nodding, a slow, small, warm smile coming to his face. "Yup."

I felt my shoulders instinctively relax.

As long as Callum was smiling, we could go to Africa for all I care.

~~~

Don't worry, Ya'll. I said don't worry. I sAiD DoNt WoRrY. I SAID DONT WORRY. I SAID DONT. STAWP WORRYING. STAWP.

Nah I'm jk.

Did you enjoy?

Also, what do you think is wrong with Callum?

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