"Ready?" Cooper asked with wide eyes as we stood outside the neon-lighted mansion, pumping with the latest music.
I sighed, looking down at my cropped red top and my black body con skirt which made me seem older than the meek ninth grader I was. I looked back up to a cluster of wasted high schoolers on the lawn playing a game of beer pong.
"Of course I'm ready." I averted my eyes to Cooper. He noticed my fidgeting and offered me a warm smile to comfort my obvious nerves.
"Let's go then."
We walked into the house, where the music got even louder, and the scent of sweat and alcohol and a hint of cigarettes hovered through the sticky air. The bass of the music thumped throughout my body, matching the beats of my heartbeat as it tempted me to let loose.
"Cooper," I yelled over the roar of the music and the busy chatter among the huge crowds. "Let's get drinks!"
He nodded and we made our way to the drink stand, the music slightly lessening as we furthered away from it.
"Eh, it's cheap, but it'll do the job," he said after he drunk it to make sure it wasn't messed with. Although we were only freshman, Cooper had his fair share of parties since he had been going with his friends since the beginning of the summer. I had went to a few, but decided that I'd rather not go with Cooper's group of obnoxious friends.
I poured the alcohol into my red cup, and brought the forbidden drink up to my lips before suddenly having a coughing fit.
"Gosh!" I squeaked at the sudden sting it had on my throat. "I'm never gonna get used to that."
"You will. But for tonight, just don't have too much. I'll order us an Uber when you're ready to leave."
I scoffed. "Kay. Ugh, this is so gross. I don't even want anymore," I said.
We stood for a bit and talked, and I refilled my cup about four times just to help me let loose tonight.
"Parker?" Cooper said to somebody behind me. My body spun around and I was faced with a very structured face.
"Hey Coop!" the boy, or Parker, said with a wide grin. "I didn't know you were coming! I haven't seen you in weeks, bro."
"It's been too long," Cooper said, returning his smile with equal excitement.
Suddenly, it clicked. One of Cooper's friends he would always party with was named Parker. He would always hook Cooper and his friends up with an invite to a party, somehow. They met at a football game, and ever since Parker has been like Cooper's older brother. Cooper has told me so much about him, I practically have an autobiography of Parker in my head.
"And who is this?" He asked, giving me a once over.
"Aurora White," I smirked his direction, looking him over also. "I'm Cooper's bestest friend, like ever."
"Don't get cocky," he gently smiled. "Also, I don't believe 'bestest' is a word."
"So what's it to you?"
"Ah, your eyes," he said, looking into my emerald orbs. "They're mesmerizing."
"Why thank you," I smiled. My green eyes usually were the point of my facial features which stood out. Only 2 percent of the world has green eyes, and I took pride in that.
He stepped closer, "Let's go dance, yeah?"
The song changed to one of my favorites, Weekend by Louis the Child.
"Of course." I said and set my drink down on the countertop after gulping the small amount of alcohol left in it. I had never danced with anyone, but there's a first time for everything.
"Hey, Park, I know your player ways," Cooper stopped him before we left. "Be good with her."
"I will, kid," he replied, ruffling Cooper's hair and leading me to the center of the dance floor.
He wrapped his firm hands around my waist and spun my around to where we were practically spooning but standing up.
"What grade are you going into?" I panted. The moving bodies around me and the energy just caused me to already be out of breath.
"I'm going into sophomore year. And you'll be a freshman if your Cooper's age, right?."
"Uh huh." I nodded as we fell back into the song.
I lifted my arms up to wrap them around his neck. He was desperately grinding his crotch against my rear end. Should I?
Not wanting to show my obvious inexperience, I rubbed back against him, earning a heavy inhale from him.
"I'll go get us drinks. Just wait here. I'll be back!"
I nodded, and waited for him to get back with two red cups in his hand. I naively accepted the drink. Who wouldn't accept a drink from the seemingly perfect guy?
I laughed to myself as we fell back into the music. My parents would be going crazy if they saw me right now: grinding up and being groped by an older guy I barely knew, and I was absolutely tipsy.
Good thing my parents were irrelevant then.
After quite a few songs, my throat was as dry as the Sahara Desert, I needed to pee, and my legs were begging for a rest.
Gosh, I really shouldn't have worn heels tonight, I thought to myself.
"Hey, uh, I'm gonna go use the bathroom for a bit."
He nodded and offered a warm smile. "I'll be waiting for you."
I bared my newly straightened teeth, which were just freed of braces a few months before, and guided myself through the wasted groups of immature kids.
I approached an empty hallway, but I didn't dare open any of the rooms. At a party a few months ago, I walked in on a couple going at it and it was definitely not a comfortable experience.
Luckily, the first door I opened was an empty bedroom. There was another door within the room, which I assumed was a bathroom. I shut the door behind me which muffled the song currently ringing throughout the house, Sweater Weather.
-I loved this song back then.
I mumbled the lyrics along with the quietened song. My hand was about to turn the knob to the bathroom when familiar firm hands grasped my waist and hauled me onto a shoulder.
A scream escaped my lips when I was thrown on the empty bed.
"Shut up, you little slut," he growled, climbing on top of me.
The muffled song still playing in the background rang through my ears, every one of my heartbeats matching the beats.
No shirt, no blouse.
"Stop! Parker, stop!" I thrashed, kicking my legs and trying with my entire strength to push him off. I knew what was about to happen. "You don't want to do this!"
Just us, you find out.
"Shh, you want me, I know you do."
Nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no, no, no.
He ripped my top and skirt off, my eyelids no longer having the strength to keep open, and my arms and legs becoming to weak to move. "No, no..." I chanted, but soon halted once the black fully engulfed my vision.
"No, no, no!" I shouted, splitting my eyes open to be met with the dark ceiling of my dorm room. An exhausted sigh left my mouth as I covered my face with my hands.
My cheeks were damp with mascara-tinted tears and so was my pillow. Olivia must have stayed at her date's place because whenever I have a nightmare and I forgot my medication, she would always wake me up. Sometimes it would be rather embarrassing for her to see me in this state, but luckily she didn't have to witness another night terror tonight.
I heard rushed knocks at the door, and with it being three in the morning and all alone, I almost shit myself.
"Aurora?" The familiar voice hastily shouted through the door. "Gem? Open the door, please." He begged, and the use of the nickname confirmed my suspicions; it was Xander.
I stood to my feet and leaped to open the door, momentarily forgetting about my appearance.
"Xander?" I asked, rubbing my eyes to adjust to the lighted hallway. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I heard you yelling from next door," he said, letting himself in and lying down on my bed but leaving enough space for me. "I got worried."
Why'd you let him in your room, idiot? You're literally asking him to hurt you. I thought to myself as I took in the view of him on my bed.
"Aw," I said and forced a small smile on my face. "Is little Xandy concerned?"
"Shut up!" A deep chuckle ran racked through his body, followed with a moment of silence. "But are you okay?"
"Yeah," I confirmed, stiffly standing near the door. I could tell he was confused as to why I wasn't lying down in the spot next to him, but I'd never make that mistake again. The mistake of getting anywhere near a man while alone. "I'm okay, I promise."
"No, you're not."
I rolled my eyes. "Just leave it, okay?"
"This is the second time I witnessed a nightmare of yours. You have tears all over your face, something is obviously not fine."
"You're right," I said, crossing my arms. "Something is not fine, but I'm not going to tell you what."
"Sometimes, gem, it helps to let it out once in awhile."
"And don't you think I forgot about that kiss," I said in attempt to change the topic. "The entire school knows! God, they probably think I'm some 'little slut' and it's all thanks to you!"
"Nobody thinks you're a-a slut," he whispered. I took a sharp breath in as I heard him say the words Parker once said to me only a couple years ago. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I-I can't tell you, Xander."
"It'll help you though," he paused as he leaned forward slowly. "Let me help, love."
"You can't help!" I snapped and stomped my foot on the floor out of rage. "You won't get it! And I don't even know why you want to know so badly!"
"I might not get it completely, but I'll try to just for you, Aurora."
"No, it's just- it's too much!" I shook my head back and forth rapidly. "I-I can't. I can't."
"You can't keep it bottled up forever."
"Can you just leave already?" I stared daggers at him, trying so hard not to look weak and powerless in front of him.
He nodded slowly, getting up from his seat on my bed and I unconsciously took a small step back.
"Yes, I can leave, Aurora." His grey eyes stared directly into mine, and even from five feet away I could see the genuine care in them. "If you really want me to, I will. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Just know, locking me out isn't going to help heal you from whatever happened to you."
"I know," I sighed in defeat, looking up at him.
He made his way to the door, his eyes never once leaving mine. His hand was on the door knob, halfway through turning it when I suddenly objected against my own order.
"Stop," I forced out of my mouth. He was right. "Don't go, Xander."
Slowly he turned around. Now his back wasn't facing me anymore and I had a full view of his face. His eyes the color of stars, his strong jaw which was tensed up, his furrowed eyebrows, and his plump pink lips.
"Wanna get outta here?"
"Where?" I asked, leaning against the wall behind me.
"You'll see."
♛ ♛ ♛
"I swear to God, Xander, if you murder me, I'm gonna haunt you in your sleep."
We were in the middle of some forest which I didn't even knew existed within a ten minute walk of our school. To say I was genuinely scared of being murdered wouldn't be completely wrong.
"I'm not gonna murder you."
"Yeah, that's what they all say."
He rolled his eyes and carried on to lead the way, moving a branch out of the way for me.
God, I can't believe I'm doing this. Seriously, have I lost all my rational thoughts?
"And we're here!" He said with a bright, wide smile.
I went around a tree which was blocking the way, and once I did, my jaw dropped.
A sky of perfect nighttime satin covered the horizon. The freeway could be seen, with lights of red and white, all cars on their pre-destined tracks leading the way. A slight buzz from the speeding cars filled the air, but in a comforting way.
"How did you find this place?" I asked Xander, turning around.
"I used to always come here with my sister." He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets as something other than mischief glinted in his eyes.
"I really hope I was wrong about you murdering me here, then."
He let out a husky chortle and laid down on the grass.
"The hell are you doing?" I widened my eyes. "You might be lying down in some dog shit."
"Chill out," he laughed at my stupid concern. "There's no dog shit. Lay down with me."
I sighed, hesitantly lying down next to him as he put his right arm under his head and his left arm around my shoulder. I tensed at the sudden closeness.
"No dog shit, but there's definitely cat crap."
"Ew!" I screeched, whipping myself up from the patch of grass. He laughed, and it wasn't a regular laugh. When he laughed, it was never just regular. He laughed in his eyes, his face morphed in the expression where he truly was himself, with no walls and just relaxed joy. I can tell his laughing fit wasn't over, though, with the way he bit his bottom lip and rolled his warm grey eyes up to the sky.
I wanted to keep my straight face, flip my hair, and storm off since he was laughing at me, not with me, but some urge in me felt the need for my lips to turn upwards and let out a giggle. Any sense of tenseness was definitely gone now.
"I was just joking," he let out one last laugh and painted on his poker face. "Come here." He patted the grass beside him.
As if it were the most natural thing in the world, once I lied down, his arm yet again found its way around me. It felt oddly intimate, although all we were doing was lying down under a sky made of velvet.
"You know Xander isn't my real name, right?"
"Holy shit." My eyes visibly widened. "Are you under a fake identity to kill me?"
I was dead serious, so it surprised me when he started rolling over in laughter.
This time, his eyes welled-up with tears but out of laughing. "Seriously?" He sobered up from whatever he found so funny. "No, my full name is Alexander, smart one."
"Oh," I stated, the only noise was his laughing and calls of crickets filling the air. "Why don't people call you Alexander?"
He quietened down, and when he spoke again, it was quieter, fragile. "My parents and my sister used to, but they don't anymore. So, I retired it. Now I'm just known as Xander."
"Why?" I asked, the previous laughter completely gone, replaced with seriousness.
"Some bad shit happened, which is mostly why I'm at this boarding school. It brings back unwanted memories, I guess."
"You don't have to tell me everything," I suddenly spoke out. "You can tell me when you're ready."
"Thanks, gem," he looked over his shoulder to me and gently smiled. A light lit up in his eyes. It seemed as if the stars and moon aligned and were smiling in perfect harmony. "That's my favorite thing about you. You understand things."
The last part of his statement left chills on my skin, but not from the cold, from the honesty and rawness in his voice. It was comforting almost.
"So, uh, why did you bring me here?" I asked, averting my gaze from the velvety sky to him.
"So you can tell me what's wrong," he bore his eyes into my green ones. "And then I can fix it for you. I will fix it."
"You can't fix an experience, though." I shook my head and shut my eyes, leaning against his shoulder. "Can't change a memory."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "No, I can't, but I can give you better memories."
I opened my eyes to be met with a growing fire burning within his grey ones.
"Trust me on this, gem."
♛ ♛ ♛
don't forget to vote or comment any questions or concerns! (just edited this chapter, wanted to fix some things!)
i put an audio of sweater weather. i thought it was cool, and i listened to it when i was writing the flashback since it helped with getting into aurora's mindset and just the scene and all.
if you have any questions about me or the book then feel free to ask! i'll clear up any of ur confusion :) or any typos just comment. ik i'm not the best writer but i'm trying lol
q: reading or writing?
a: i like both tbh. i like reading cause it's less work, but i like writing. it's cool to create your own characters and story.
okay bye I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
-sophia ♥︎
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