20. oliver and moments

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I FELT LIKE my heart was going to drop out of my ass as he walked towards me with an easy smile. As if he wasn't the one who had ruined me in the first place. I had to remember that the person standing in front of me was a horrible person. The boy pulled me into a hug and all of the memories started to flood back in my mind.

For a moment, I felt disgusted. Repulsed. Yet after that moment ended, there was comfort. I felt safety in his arms. How could I not? These were the same arms that held me when I was so close to giving up. There was no way I could just forget that, no matter how much I wanted to in the back of my mind. It was only until I hugged back that he let go.

     "You here by yourself?" he questioned. Just small talk.

"No, I'm here with a friend," I replied, "who I should probably go back to now."

"Oh, no worries, darling," a voice from behind me answered, startling me. A pair of arms wrapped around my neck and he held me close. I felt instant relief as he whispered in my ear, "Who is this?"

      "Archer, this is Oliver," I introduced to the boy, causing him to tense up for a moment before easing up and detaching himself from me.

     He put space between Oliver and I, taking hold of my hand and silently directing me to get behind him. I complied after seeing the deathly gaze he was giving Oliver. And if looks could kill, I just knew that my ex would be dead by now. As would I despite it not even being directed at me, but that's besides the point. I knew I was safe with Archer. He's proven it multiple times; I trusted him with my everything even though we haven't known each other for long. I knew he trusted me as well. He just couldn't be like Oliver.

     "Nice to meet you," Archer told the boy without any hospitality in his voice. "I'm Irene's boyfriend."

I didn't mind him lying about it anymore, especially because it was Oliver we were talking to. If anything, I was grateful. Maybe it would drive him away, and I wouldn't have to talk to him again. Doubtful, but I still could dream about it. Though I did want to see how he was doing. Pure curiosity.

"Is that so?" he responded, crooking his head in confusion. "Irene told me she was with a friend."

"Yeah, she's a little stupid," the boy beside me replied with a humorless laugh. I was going to rock his shit later for that.

"She's actually quite smart," he retorted with a smile before looking at me. "I'd know."

It made my skin crawl. Everything about the situation seemed so hopeless— if Archer wasn't here, I'd have a panic attack. Even though I was so susceptible to his charm and wouldn't ever be able to tell if it was real or not, I didn't need him anymore. I wasn't his and he didn't have me wrapped around his finger anymore, but that didn't mean that there was a deep fear of him deep inside of my mind still.

"Yeah, well," Archer replied, "I think we're both smart enough to know that our movie is starting soon. Let's go, darling."

His voice softened when he talked to me.

"You're going to leave just like that, Irene?" Oliver asked, disappointment in his voice. "I thought we'd be able to catch up. You know, be friends again. What I did was wrong, I'll admit that, but I want to make things better."

My head was swirling with thoughts and emotions from his words. Was he really sorry? Did he want to be friends? I couldn't just turn him down. That was a lie, I knew I could, but part of me still wanted to have him around. He was the one who saved me two years ago; I couldn't just let that go. Was it really okay for me to turn him down?

I knew Oliver would say no. That I should be happy that someone like him loved someone like me. I wasn't that weak anymore though. The stronger part of me warned me that this was dangerous. He was dangerous. Maybe not in a violent way, but I knew he was nothing but toxic. Two years doesn't change a person like him. It couldn't.

"No," Archer answered for me, his voice laced with intimidation and though he was calm on the outside, I knew that he was furious, "don't ever fucking talk to my girlfriend again, alright? I won't hesitate to fucking kill you."

He tightened his grip around my hand and led me back to the movie room. His pace was quick, and I couldn't help but be grateful that we got away from him as soon as possible. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take looking at Oliver. When we entered the room, ads were still playing on the screen. I let out a breath I was holding once we got back to our seats and began to eat the popcorn to try to distract myself from what just happened.

     "You alright?" he asked in a worried tone. Another thing that differentiated the boy from my ex: his kindness. Of course, Oliver had been kind as well, but Archer's seemed so much more comforting. Is it even possible to be more confortable with a person's kindness compared to somebody else? Probably, right?

"Yeah," I replied as I took a sip of my soda, "I'm fine."

"Oh, by the way, I'm sorry about saying that I'm your boyfriend. To your mom and Oliver— I know that it could've ended badly considering how your last relationship went, but I just thought it would be better if people thought we were dating," he explained, shrugging a little at the end, "your mom seemed really happy that you have people to rely on. And Oliver was surprised too, I saw it on his face. I needed him to get away from you."

"It's okay," I responded mutely, still trying to handle what just went on. Two years since I last saw him, and he wants to be friends again. "What if he was being serious, Archer? What if he really is sorry?"

"Sorry won't make up for the things he put you through," he muttered.

"Yes, but you have to understand that he helped me too. I don't even know if I'd be alive right now without him," I told him honestly. I wanted to believe that Oliver wasn't the bad person that everybody says he is. I wanted to believe that he really did care about me.

"He helped you, but I can tell you right now that he got off to controlling you. Having you as a mindless toy that does whatever he says, wrapped around his finger. Are you that oblivious, Irene?" The boy's reply was sharp; it surprised me since he was always so gentle around me. Then again, it made sense to why he was acting the way he was. "Trust me, I promise that I'd know. My dad does the same shit. Made my mom run away and now his new girlfriend is in the same damn position as her. And I can tell you one more thing: he's not fucking sorry. Two years won't change somebody like that."

"But there's still the chance that he has ch—" I was cut off by his words.

"Goddamnit, Irene! Don't you get it?" he stared me straight in the eyes as he spoke. His voice was slightly raised as he spoke, but not enough to be a yell. "It was written all over his face. His tone. His words. He's confident you'll run back to him, and once you do, you'll be exactly at square one again. Controlled by somebody who couldn't even give two shits about you. I'm being so upfront about this because I care so fucking much about you, Irene. And I know that I can't control you, but I'm begging you to just look at it from the outside. He'll hurt you, just like he did last time. And he won't be sorry."

I was at a lost for words. I wasn't sure what to think or say. The boy beside me had spoken with so much passion, and suddenly all I could think about was him. I replayed the scene from moments before back in my mind, seeing how unfazed Oliver had been through all of it. As much as I wanted to believe that he cared, it didn't matter to me anymore. I had someone so much better right in front of me, looking me in the eyes with overwhelming emotion. I had Ayana. I had Tobias. Three people who I knew would support me through anything.

I've been on such a better path since Archer came along. I didn't want to die like I did freshman year, but I don't think I'd been genuinely happy in so long until I met him. I chose to believe the dark-haired boy and let my other thoughts slip away. If he did this much for me, then the least I could do is trust him that this was the right thing. That he had his best intentions in mind for me and Oliver truly was a horrible person.

     In the back of my mind, I thought I knew that he was. However, if I truly did, then I would've never even thought about trying to be friends with him again. The fact that no matter how hard I try to get over Oliver, I always seem to fail— it makes me feel so hopeless. I thought that I was getting better and not letting him take control of my life, yet he still had such a strong grasp on me.

"I'm so thankful for you," I whispered with tears brimming my eyes after I pulled him in for a hug. I'd be able to create an ocean from all of the tears I've shed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

     "There's nothing to be sorry about, darling," he muttered as he pulled me in tightly. The movie was starting, but neither of us pulled away to watch it begin. I wasn't sure if he felt the same way, but I felt the need to hold onto him forever. I didn't want to ever let go of him.

     He was my home.

The movie was a lot better than I expected it to be. Maybe because Archer was right beside me and despite the arms of the chairs that divided us, I still felt comfort with my head rested against his shoulder. He was so real, and I felt that in any given moment, he could just disappear.

It's happened before— continuous days where Archer was nowhere in sight, skipping school. Though it was before I knew him, everybody knew about the boy who would go missing for days at a time. Most people gossiped about it, saying that he was off doing drugs. However, the only thing I ever saw him do was smoke cigarettes, so those rumors were out of the question.

     I wondered why he would skip school and if there was any deeper meaning to it than just not wanting to be there. Whatever the reason, it beyond scared me that he could just slip away so easily. I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the moment of his soft breaths as the movie continued. I felt his shoulders slowly and slightly move up and down to his breaths, taking in every second of it. The soft scent he had. The slow breaths he took. The obliviousness to what I was thinking now as he laughed to one of the scenes.

     I wanted it to last forever, but no matter how much I could wish for it to be true, forever doesn't exist. The world couldn't stop, but it sure felt like it did. This was our world. Our moment. One that I was sure to cherish for the rest of my life. It felt so precious, this moment we shared together that would soon fade into a memory.

     We were both still so young. High school would be over before I knew it, and he'd be off to some college that I knew I wouldn't be able to afford. I didn't want to think about it. The thought of Archer and I being miles and miles apart left an empty feeling inside of me. It was odd; on the outside, we seemed like complete opposites, but we had so much in common. We shared our pain with one another. We let ourselves be vulnerable, and that was something I thought I'd never be able to do again.

     "Darling," he called out to me softly to which I hummed in response. "I just want you to know that I will be with you beyond death. You've become my world, and I don't ever want to let you go."

     His words always set me to ease, and I was secretly glad that we were thinking the same thing.


helloooo i really hope you guys liked this chapter! i've kind of had a writer's block, so i'm sorry if the updates don't come as fast as you'd want them to. trust me— if i could post an update every day, i would.

i love seeing every single comment on this story, so thank you for reading and interacting with it. genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, it means so much to me.

qotd: do you believe in soulmates?

aotd: how could i not when i feel like i've already met mine?

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