13. art exhibits and appreciation

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AS MUCH AS I wanted to stay with Archer last night, I wouldn't let myself distract him from school. It was a school night, and I wasn't a very big advocate of skipping school. Plus, it was Friday today and I didn't want to miss the "date" with Tobias. I was both excited and nervous about the entire thing; I liked the fact that I was doing something that I was too afraid of doing because of Oliver. But I also hated it because it reminded me of him.

     A lot of things seemed to be reminding me of him and I didn't like one bit of it.

     There was a smile tugging at the ends of my mouth as I replayed the moments of last night while doing my homework and nibbling on a piece of steak. The boy with different colored eyes studied me while I was scribbling an answer down to a math question. I didn't have to look up from the sheet to tell that there was an easy smile on his face. The same one that always seemed to be there.

     "You're happy today," he hummed, making me look up from the packet and give him a confused look. "That smile looks good on you, Star."

     I looked down back at the paper, my hair falling over my face. I was thankful considering the fact that he did, in fact, make my cheeks redder than the rosy cheeks you'd see on a porcelain doll. Except my hair was covering the paper so I'm pretty sure he knew that I was blushing.

     "It's okay to let your true emotions out, cutie," he told me and the smirk was evident in his voice. "What do you think, Aya? Is she blushing because of me right now?"

     The black-haired girl moved the hair from out of my face, but I was still too embarrassed to look up from the paper. Ayana laughed at my reaction, "She definitely is."

     "Shut your mouth," I muttered but the smile didn't fade away from my face.

Except instead of smiling because of Archer, I was now smiling because of Tobias. To be completely honest, both of them had me giddy. It felt kind of weird having two people like me— well, one I know for sure. I wasn't sure if Tobias liked me like that, but I knew that I wanted to keep him in my life for forever. Maybe it was too early to say that, but he has been there for me from the second we met.

     It's so crazy how you can go your entire life without knowing someone then you meet them and they become so vital in your life. A trivial moment can mean so much to somebody and nothing to someone else, which is honestly mind-blowing to me.

"You ready for our date tonight?" he gave me a cheeky smile and I could only roll my eyes in response.

     "Only if you kiss me," I replied jokingly, but the boy raised an eyebrow at me with a suggesting look in his eyes.

     "Is that a dare?" he asked smugly.

     I laughed and directed my attention back to the packet I had to finish by eighth period. The loud cafeteria noise was blocked out in my brain as I finished up the last page of the paper. As I worked on the last question, my mind drifted off.

Thoughts like how it was odd having more than one person to rely on. It was so bewildering how you can be the cause of somebody's smile. One sentence can make someone's day and a few actions can save somebody's life. I can live my life content knowing that there are people in my life that I can cherish. Despite the fucked up relations with my family, I was the happiest I've ever been in what seemed like forever.

     "You're so cute when you're concentrating," an amused Tobias spoke with a silly smile on his face.

     "I know," I responded playfully before looking up to him, "you're cute when you exist."

     "I never knew Miss Irene was such a flirt," he told me, leaning forward across the table.

     "Oh yeah?" I leaned in as well, a small smirk on my face. He inched closer to me before I pulled away with a laugh.

"And a tease," he murmured before sarcastically frowning with a pout and crossed arms.

"Poor baby," I teased him, mimicking his movements.

     Lunch soon ended after that with Tobias huffing with his arms still crossed because I didn't "even give him a small peck on the cheek." If I was being honest, my thoughts right now were more focused on the night I had with Archer. I had broken down with him right beside of me, even after he confessed he had feelings for me. And the thing was, I wanted to like him back, but I just wasn't ready for it.

How could people be so willing to give their hearts away? To be so vulnerable? I can't be like that anymore, not after what happened with Oliver. I tried not to think about him too much even though the pure essence of him would flood my mind every day. I really couldn't tell if I was truly over the boy who I used to love. Then again, I might just be incredibly stupid and naive since I was so young.

     The day went by faster than normal and soon I found myself standing at the entrance of the art exhibit with Tobias by my side. He dropped his lit cigarette to the snowy ground before stepping on it and opening the glass door for me.

"M'lady," he smiled as he held the glass door open, "please go in, it is actually freezing out here."

I took a bow, hooking myself onto his left arm before walking inside with him. The warm air instantly hit both of us and it felt like one of the greatest things on the planet. Air conditioning was a savior, honestly. The place was filled with people and part of me was really surprised. I knew that my mom used to love my drawings when I was younger, but I didn't know so many other people liked seeing other people's artworks as well. It was kind of crazy to me.

     "I didn't know so many people were going to come," I whispered, staring at the crowd of people who were talking to one another while going around to see the artworks.

     "All to see your art," he smiled smugly, wrapping the arm I was clinging on to around my neck.

     "There are like. . ." I trailed off, counting the number of paintings and drawings and other things, "more than thirty other things here."

     "Yeah, but they're still seeing your art," he grinned, leading me to a stand where they were selling hot chocolate. Probably not the smartest idea considering we were at an art exhibit, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

      Tobias ordered his and my hot cocoa after I argued with him for two minutes straight about how I could pay for my own. I soon realized if I didn't give up now, we would be at the stand for hours on end. His smile never faltered as he handed me the hot chocolate. Except when he tried to gulp it down as soon as he got it, which ended up with his eyes widened and a spit full of hot cocoa going back into the styrofoam cup and some on the tile floor.

     "Son of a fu-" I covered his mouth before he could speak anymore, glancing at the parents with their kids and hoping he would take the hint.

     "My expression of pain is much more important than the innocence of little kids' ears," he murmured with a hard glare. "Now my tongue's going to be burnt."

"Will a kiss on the cheek make you feel better?" I asked playfully, taking a small sip from the cup.

"Well, it's my tongue that's hurting," he told me, his eyes connecting with mine, "so maybe you should kiss my tongue, Star."

I felt my cheeks start to heat up and I was thankful that I was still cold. I dragged him along to the first painting I saw which was by someone named Lily Foster, a girl in her sophomore year.

"Please tell me this isn't like. . . a county thing from each different school," I sighed in exasperation, looking at the painting of a fearful girl holding out her bruised and tattered hand to a single ray of light.

"It is," he confirmed with his stupid little grin. "And yours are definitely the best ones here."

     The boy dragged me to one of the first ones I had shown him. It wasn't anything special, just a small boy on the roof of some house looking up at the moon with his cat. It screamed hope— for what, I don't really know. However, the colors and overall tone of it were hopeful. I think I drew it when Oliver and I first broke up. Hope that he would come back to me after I cut all ties with him. It was kind of stupid, really.

     "Wow, I'm falling more and more in love with you as I view your drawings with you beside me," Tobias told me as I took a sip of the hot chocolate, though I knew he wasn't actually in love with me. Anyways, I was pretty warmed up by now but the drink was good regardless.

     "You don't mean that," I chuckled once I realized he was serious. I averted my eyes at another painting made by a boy named Lorenzo. "We barely even know each other, dumbass."

"What about love at first sight?"

"Complete bullshit."

When I made eye contact with him again, his heterochromiac eyes were confused. He stared at me for a second before shaking his head and putting that same smile he always wore back onto his face. It was something odd about him; he always seemed to smile no matter what was going on. I figured he might as well just have been born with a smile etched onto him as he was brought into the world.

"Well, is it bullshit if it happened to me, Star?" he asked with a challenging look.

"It could just be infatuation," I told him, shrugging. "Y'know, maybe your attraction towards me is intense but short. Maybe it'll fade away."

I could tell he was pondering the thought as we walked around the art exhibit in silence. It wasn't awkward though— there were just no words that needed to be said in these moments, and that was completely okay. It stayed this way for most of our time together with only a few sentences complimenting the artworks.

It was crazy to me how people could come up with such beautiful things. How a singular painting could have so many interpretations of it and only the creator would know the true meaning. It was something special to me, especially when I drew. I could entirely make an abstract drawing and only I would know the true purpose of it. Why it's there. Why it was created that way. What the meaning of all of it was. Sometimes there was no meaning, and that sometimes just felt right. I found that people appreciated the things I did, the emotions I displayed through drawing. The same way I appreciated all of these other art pieces.

The thoughts of all of the amazing parts about art came flooding through my mind, and the tiny voice in the back of my mind that whispered about Oliver was pushed even further back. A small smile creeped onto my face unwillingly and part of me felt kind of free from whatever was holding me back.

"Nope, nope," Tobias stated out of the blue, "This is real, Star. The connection I feel towards you. Because we are in this big ass room full of art, and I can't seem to stop staring at only you."

qotd: would you ever try to a long distance relationship/edating?

aotd: i have and honestly i don't know if i'd do it again. it never works out for me bahahha

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