How. . . how does this story. . . have 1.14M reads?

How?

How?

This is utterly the most cringeworthy story I have ever written--

Either ya'lls humor is so utterly shit you can't tell the difference between a pile of horse shit and a well-crafted joke OR you're reading out of pure 'what the fuck is this' because this book is exactly like that cause what the fuck--

But fr fr thank you so much mwah mwah

~
You sprawled yourself over the couch, looking up at the ceiling. You blinked slowly. All of the students in the dorm went back home to their families for a day. You didn't have a family to get back to, so you chose to hang around the dorm and probably cause trouble.

'Hm. . . would Bakugo be mad if I stole his All Might collection he has hidden under the floorboard? Or I could replace all of his figurines of All Might with gnomes. Or I could switch their heads.' You groaned lightly, trying to think of a solution.

'. . . oh I've a genius idea.'

~
You threw an empty roll of aluminum foil over your shoulder, wiping your hands clean of the non-existent sweat on your palms. You grinned, looking at your absolute masterpiece. Every single inch of Bakugo's room was covered in aluminum foil--including the walls, ceiling, and window. Even the carpet--with every individual tuft foiled.

'Whew--what a work out! Only took me--' You looked at the empty wall next to you.

'Fifteen minutes!' With an excited clap, you turned around and grabbed the rolls before shoving all of them down your pants.

'Time to fart them out at people like nerf bullets!' You phased through the wall and fell nine stories down into the street.

~
"Uhhhhhhhh," you said out loud, blinking. "Why am I crammed on a bus(sy) with you three?" You stared at Todoroki, Midoriya, and Bakugo.

"You didn't have an agency to do the work study at, right?" Shouto asked. "I asked my father if you could work with us."

"Did I not have an agency?"

"I don't remember."

"Neither do I, honestly. It's been a while since this story got updated."

"What?"

"What?"

Bakugo grunted. "Why the hell did you have to ask if Y/n could come with us?"

"He just said why you absolute baboon--FOCUS!"

"I'LL FOCUS YOU, YOU DAMN NERD!"

"THAT SOUNDS KINKY, I'M INTO IT."

"YOU FUCKIN FREAK!"
You and Bakugo pushed against each other's heads while Midoriya was nervously trying to calm you down. The others on the bus were also nervously shuffling away from you two. Eventually, you four came to your stop. When you got off the bus, the other patrons let out sighs of relief. You all turned to see Endeavor waiting for you.

"Welcome to working for Endeavor! That's not what I feel like, though."

"Oh cool, it's the flame grill. Hey, remember when you tried to bribe me to marry Shoto?"

"--because Shoto asked, I gave my permission reluctantly, but I wish Shoto came on his own."

"YEAH AND A FEW MONTHS AGO YOU WISHED SHOTO CAME IN ME TOO, YOU FUCKIN BITCH--DON'T IGNORE ME!"

"If you gave permission, then don't complain."

"Sh-Shoto!"

"YEAH, DON'T COMPLAIN, PROPANE GAS STOVE!"

"I've thought so since the supplementary lessons, but you're kind of cringey," Bakugo said from your side.

"PFFT." You snorted so hard your nose started to bleed horrendously. "AH SHIT--" Endeavor looked at both you and Bakugo.

"Shoto! Are you really friends with these two?!"

"OBVIOUSLY WE'RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS." You roll your eyes and wrap your arm around his neck, your face covered in blood.

"If I can see how the top hero works, I don't really care about anything else," Bakugo said. You let go of Shoto and Kirby-inhaled the blood back into your nose--and subsequently--your lungs, to which you coughed it back out.

"ARE--ARE YOU OKAY?" Midoriya exclaimed in a panic.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," you said calmly, giving Endeavor a thumbs up. "We're great people to be friends with." Meanwhile your clothes were soaked with your own nostril blood.

"Thank you for allowing us to do our work study with you," Midoriya said softly. Endeavor looked down at him and didn't say anything in reply.

~
After a bit, you and the others were walking down the sidewalk, trailing a bit behind Endeavor.

"We'll do our best to learn from the work of the number one hero!" Midoriya exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh shit, we're doing our best?" You popped back to life. "Aight, aight, I got this."

". . . Shoto's not me. . . right?" Endeavor asked out of the blue. Midoriya let out a noise of confuzzlement. Endeavor stopped walking suddenly, making all of you stop as well. He then jumped over the guard rail, running down the road.

"Sorry, but I don't plan on looking after anyone but Shoto!" He exclaimed.

"Leaving me just like my parents. . . damn. Hoes these days fr ain't loyal." Nonetheless, the three of you took off behind him.

"If you want to learn, then watch from the back!"

"Depends, do you got a dummy thicc ass?"
Bakugo and Midoriya had already dug into their suitcases for their hero weapons, Todoroki was using his ice, and you were just. . . yeah, being you.

"Please give us your instructions!" Midoriya exclaimed.

"I was going to say something foul, but out of respect for Shoto, I won't."

"Watch! From the back!"
You made goggles from your fingers, zooming into Endeavor's ass.

'Do he got a booty?' Your gaze focused.

'He doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not.' You lowered your finger-goggles from your eyes.

'That's a disappointment. . . but do be he be packin in the front?' Before you could check with thine own balls that serve as ocular seeing orbs, the city's windows shattered simultaneously before getting sucked into an epicenter.

'Oh bruh, I could've use that glass to make a new bong--man I can't have SHIT in this house.' In front of you all, you could faintly see the old man floating on balls of glass.

'. . . oh that's kinda kinky.'

Above him, however, was a huge, amalgamated ball of glass that he was planning to chuck God-knows where. Before he could, Endeavor used his Flashfire Fist to shatter the glass on impact and then melt the remaining into molten.

'It'll make sand now! Thanks Minecraft :)'
That's when the old man took off into a narrow alley.

'Oop--okay time to go chase him down.' You took off from the others' sides, flying high up into the air. When you stared down, you quickly took notice of the ball-rider. You swan-dived downward, planning to cut him off when he exited the alley. You got there first and that's when you noticed three people hiding behind the corner of the building.

'. . . oh, okay.' You appeared behind them.

". . . boo."
The lot screamed before becoming one with the ground, asses up in the air. A chesire grin appeared on your face.

'ohohohoohohoh--oh.' The world seemed to slow when Endeavor and the old man zoomed past you and Midoriya, and Bakugo were beelining straight for you. All three of you found the time to blink at each other.

'. . . this is gonna hurt.' That's when you felt a sudden force from behind you.

'WAITWAITWAITWAIT NO NO STOP I'M NOT READY TO LOSE MY ASS VIRGINITY--' You were thrown away from them and face-first into the concrete, comically sliding across it, and leaving skidmarks.

". . . thanks a lot Hawks."

"Anytime!"

Ja ne!

{Ruby Red}