¤Chapter Forty¤

How did things all turn to shit so fast?

Where did I go wrong and what did I miss? My mind buzzes as I accept the mug of warm tea from Todd. After he dragged me out of the room full of dead and unconscious bodies he sent Brendon out to grab his vehicle. I was right to be suspicious earlier, they parked behind the hotel. I was too focused on reminiscing in the past to realize I should probably check that area before I got to the beach house.

Maybe things would have been different.

Maybe I would have spotted Todd hiding in his car, listening in as Brendon tried to choke Jace inside. Even better, if I had left as soon as Angie came crying to me and not went home to change like some kind of diva —maybe I would have caught Todd as he was beating Owen to a pulp in the parking lot. I could have stopped all of this. If only—

A heavy hand reaches down to touch my head. "Aw, don't beat yourself up too much. This was all months in the making, I outsmarted you. "

I sip the tea gingerly. If I didn't have two lives on my hands I would've tossed it in his face as soon as he gave it to me. But I've surrendered because this is all I can do at this point.

"How far back are we talking?" I ask. Todd enjoys talking about his achievements and pulling one over on me seems to be his biggest yet.

"Ever since the traitor introduced himself to you," He sits next to me around the kitchen island. "He was supposed to approach you later but I let it slide since he reported you had already made plans to meet again."

I don't respond. Instead, I run a finger along the rim of my cup. He smiles and continues, "I remember being irritated because my sources told me you barely even talked to guys but all of a sudden I sent Jace in and you're in love"

"I'm not in love with Jace." I mutter, irritated to be having this conversation.

"Then," He keeps going despite my statement, balling his hands into tight fists. "All of a sudden the bastard stopped calling me. He didn't even answer my calls. I got suspicious."

"So you found Brendon?" I glance at his dark pupils.

He shrugs. "I visited him in the hospital, teased him then told him who I was. After that, he was overly eager to get back at you in any way."

"Of course he was." I nod. Apparently Brendon texted Owen after I called Todd as a dare. Owen always wanted to talk to him ever since the incident so when he got the invitation to chat, he willingly accepted it. I thought he was acting strange but chose not to ask him anything. He stayed by my side until he thought I no longer needed his comfort. He even tried to tell me about it but I brushed him off. I trusted him so much I never questioned anything. "What about Brittney, is she involved too?"

He looks at me curiously before answering. "Tonight she made sure the parking lot was empty at the right moment, told her friends to max the music volume, and texted me when you were about to call. She even voluntarily snapped some images of you —some of which you've seen, some you haven't. As a bonus she hired the guy I stabbed earlier but he's worthless."

"Well she finally got her wish," I push away the remaining tea that did little to help my mood. "She made my life a living hell"

Todd brushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear and leans in close. In a low tone he says, "Lucky for you I'm the devil—" A hand slides down my back. "So as long as you're with me, you'll be safe. Just like old times."

I shiver at his sudden closeness, mere inches from my face. His strong scent is overpowering and suffocating. It makes me uncomfortable but from the way he's smiling, I can tell he thinks my reaction is a sign of affection instead of disgust. His fingers trace the outline of my lips as he leans in even closer, slowly closing the remaining gap between us.

"It's sick that you involved so many people in our drama" I turn away before he can kiss me.

"Involved them?" He arches a brow. "Madison they are people who'd do anything to see you suffer —they practically begged to help me"

"What was all that crap about protecting me then?" I meet his burning gaze. The anger that was fading is flaring up again because of my rejection. Just because I've surrendered doesn't mean I'm giving up everything. Not yet at least.

He laughs. It's a deep, blood curling sound. "You seem to not understand so let me make it clear for you—" He stands up and walks behind me to pull my chair so it's tilting on the back legs. "You are mine. Your enemies are my enemies. Trash can sometimes be useful but it's still trash. Brendon and Brittney are dead as soon as we get out of this town."

I gasp, looking up at him. "You wouldn't"

"You should thank me because those two buffoons in the other room were also at the top of my list," He plants a wet kiss on my cheek. "Not killing them is my gift to you."

"You're crazy," I jump out of the chair before it can tip over. "You need help."

He grabs my chin. "And I'm sure you'll help me once we get out of here —you seemed to have remembered that I always preferred you to be on your knees earlier"

"I'm done talking to you." I turn my back to him, shutting him out with body language.

He grabs my hand and spins me so my back slams into the nearby wall, shaking a few paintings that hangs there. I slide down with a winded grunt. The contact seems to have caused some damage because a trail of blood trickles out from my lips. I don't bother to wipe it. 

"Don't pretend you're better than me, Madison!" He yells with bulging eyes as rage fills him. "Get off your high horse because you're worse! This—" He stretches his arms out to bring attention to our surroundings. "Happened because of you. If I slipped too much poison in Jace's tea and it kills him before someone finds him, that's your fault. If Pretty Boy dies because he couldn't fight me like a real man? You guessed it, your fault."

"P-Poison?" My eyes travel to the tea I was just drinking on the counter. I didn't finish the whole thing but half a cup is still a lot of damage. "What kind of poison? You said you weren't gonna kill him"

He kneels down next to me and grabs my throat, cutting off my airway. "Don't worry, what I gave you should knock you out for a couple hours —days if you drank everything like a good girl." He releases me and continues talking with a smile as I cough up more blood. "As for Jace, I didn't lie. The poison was to weaken him so I could slit his throat. If the fucker dies because his system wasn't strong enough to fight it then that's his fault and your problem. Not mine. That's what he gets for trying to run and for lying to me."

"How did you manage to poison him?" My hands clutch my throat. I can breathe now but it burns, as if someone shoved sandpaper down my esophagus. Jace was skeptical of him there's no way he would—

"Ah," Todd says, reading my mind. "But I've known him for a long time. All I had to do was make a surprise visit to his apartment and pretend I was gravely hurt. It took a while for him to look away but one second was all I needed"

"One second? Some things never change I guess" My voice is hoarse but my point gets across nonetheless.

His eyes narrow. "Don't test me, another remark like that and I'll speed up the job myself." He pauses and tilts his head, studying my shallow breathing and drooping lids. "Although, it looks like you're starting to fight it already. Let's see how long you last, shall we?"

I have to stay awake until we leave this place. It's the only way I'll know he won't go back and do things his way. He's pretending to be calm but it's been forty minutes and Brendon hasn't gotten back yet. It shouldn't take this long —a few minutes at most since he's supposed to be driving back. I hope my parents brought backup and he's being detained. I hope mom can do what I couldn't, save Owen and Jace.

I study his features as if seeing him for the first time. He looks like a mad scientist with dark circles beneath his eyes and splattered blood stains on his chin. His long lashes I once adored looks plain and insignificant on his face now. A sharp jaw line is hidden beneath coarse stubble that felt rough when it brushed my cheek earlier. The dark shadow casting over him from the moonlight makes him appear possessed and ghastly.

"You look completely evil now." I reach up and touch his bristly face, pitying him. "What happened to you, Todd?"

I still loathe him but I can't help but think about the story everyone relayed back at the hideout. I can picture a small dark haired boy boasting about his parent's occupation one day then getting captured the other. I can see him scared at first until he finally gives in to his enemies because no one was able to save him. Then I picture him older, years later, meeting me for the first time. I was shy but he was able to see I wasn't just drawn to his looks but his entire presence. 

People deemed him a bad boy but deep down I saw he just had a strong will to protect those he cared about. No one saved him but he chose to save those that mattered in his eyes. Sure, he got arrested for stealing liquor a couple times —although his family could more than afford it. And sure he's sent a few people to the hospital, but he was always certain his targets were those who have hurt others themselves. 

He isolated me from a lot of people because he knew how easy it was for me to be manipulated. He's always had a twisted morality but it didn't always come from a bad place. Unfortunately it seems he has finally crossed the point of no return.

He leans into my palm and wraps a hand around my wrist so I won't let it fall. "You left me." 

I feel dizzy like I've been spinning around for hours and the only way to settle my head is to rest. He's right, I won't be able to fight it forever but I want to stay conscious for as long as I can. Surely my dad has gotten here by now right? 

This is not how I expected our confrontation to go. I thought we would fight and scream at each other but here I am, slumped against a wall in excruciating pain, touching his face as if I want to comfort him. Instead I want to understand him. I thought things were perfect between us but...

"You cheated" I counter. He lets my hand drop from his face and pulls me onto his lap, cradling me like a baby. His head is blocking the only source of light above us so my line of vision is murky. The old scent of blood mixed with his sweat smells repulsive but the warmth from his body coaxes me and my eyes close for a split second.

No! I can't sleep now, I think in a panic, everyone might die if I do.

"Brittney overheard something she shouldn't have and that was the only way for me to tame her." He brushes my hair absentmindedly, looking past me through the window in the kitchen. "I couldn't kill your bestfriend after all."

"What did she hear?" I mumble drowsily and he places a finger over my lips at the sound of something moving outside. After a moment of silence his rigid body relaxes a bit. It's just a tree.

"She overheard me talking to my superior about a job" His voice is soothing like a lullaby.

"What job?" I persist, hoping to learn something shocking to help me stay awake. When Angie got her first kiss, me and the girls stayed awake all night listening to her tell the same story over and over again on a three way call.

His expression is impassive. "I've been partaking in what others might call criminal activities for a long time, Madison."

"By others you mean..." My words slur as I struggle to finish my sentence.

"Undercover agents." His voice is grim. "Me and you have been on opposite sides this whole time but now that you're mine, that will change. I'll vouch for you like I did with Jace and you'll become one of us. If they allowed him to join I'm sure you won't be a problem either."

The sleep inducing liquid he poured in my tea must be working exceptionally well because my questions begin to disappear and my vision blurs, turning Todd into a shadowy figure looming above me. "I don't understand"

"Shh," He coos, "Rest up now. Things will all fall into place after Brendon gets us out of here." His tone is confident but I can tell he's anxious. A part of him is worried that Brendon might not be coming back after all. 

Maybe he shouldn't have killed that other guy earlier. Then at least he would have had a back up plan. Still, I can't be sure. Brendon is a jackass so maybe the car got stuck or he got lost. I can't rely on luck because it's never been on my side.

My eyes close again and I slowly begin to drift out of consciousness.

My back aches, my lungs burn, and my heart feels like someone pierced a giant hole in it so part of me is missing. What was the whole damn point of transforming into Madi if I can't do anything when it really matters? I can't think up a new plan because in this condition it won't work anyway and at this point anything I do will just put everyone in more danger.

Instead I have to sit here wrapped in the arms of someone who no longer understands me —someone who probably never understood me to begin with. I have to hope that everything will be okay without me in the end.

That's not enough.

Maybe if my parents sent me to that spy school I would have been stronger. What would dad do in this situation? I try my hardest to think back to all the times he's trained me in the garage at home but most of those lessons involve brute force which I no longer have the physical or mental energy for. What about mom, I rake my brain desperately, what would she do?

"Mom." I sit up so suddenly, Todd clutches his chest in shock.

"Forget about them, Madison." He pats my back making me flinch from the pain. He doesn't notice. "We're leaving soon and then they'll be a thing of the past."

I nod and let him cradle me again. Mom knew what I was planning all along. She gave me a pen from the gadget shelf. I curl my legs so my knees are closer. Todd automatically shifts his hand to my butt like an armrest.

I have to distract him so I can grab it. I only have one chance and that's it. All he has to do is grab my hand to stop me and it's game over. I'm too weak to fight back because of the sedative. Even now, I doubt I can stand on my own but I have to try. For their sake.

"Kiss me" I say as I look up at him with what I hope mimics loving eyes. Just saying the words makes me feel nauseous but if this really is the last resort then I have to play all my cards so there's a chance it actually works. I'm not sure what will happen when I click the pen —maybe we'll get electrocuted or something— but it's all I have left.

"Are you sure you want that?" He asks but begins leaning down anyway.

"Yes" I close my eyes and picture Owen although I don't deserve to. As soon as his moist lips touches mine, my hands travel down my leg and into the boot mom slid the pen in. The process of slowly pulling it out so my hand doesn't jerk and signal to Todd that I'm up to something feels longer than it should be.

 Although I'm trying to picture Owen, my heart knows this isn't him. His lips aren't harsh and impatient they're gentle and tenacious. Instead of overpowering, his scent steals my breath in a completely different way. A way I've come to appreciate more now that I can no longer experience it. I can't pretend I'm with him when I'm not, he's one of a kind.

Defeated tears slide down my face.

Todd begins to pull away and I click the pen before dropping it on the floor. At first, nothing happens but suddenly a loud hiss erupts and white smoke pours out from tiny holes I didn't notice before. Maybe clicking it caused that? In a matter of seconds the air goes from clear to cloudy and as soon as the scent made it's way to my lungs I knew what it was.

Ammonia.

The amount that continues to rapidly spew out of the pen is surely lethal. I was wrong about the pen electrocuting us but it seems it plans on killing regardless. Todd shoves me back and starts yelling but I can't hear his words because the smoke alarm has gone off. 

My eyes widen when I see the sprinklers above. I can't remember much from my dad's lessons but I'm pretty sure this much ammonia mixing with water will only make it more toxic. At this rate people in the other room will be affected as well.

Although I'm still dizzy I manage to drag my body over to a chair and use it to stagger to my feet. Todd has stopped screaming and is now trying to hurl but there's nothing in his stomach. I've been holding my breath from the moment the smoke stared pouring out but I'm not an Olympian swimmer with iron lungs so I'm running out of time.

A hand grabs my ankle as I try to navigate through the wet, slippery, and foggy room. I want to yell at him to let go but I need to conserve my energy. After a few seconds his grip goes slack and I'm able to move my feet again. 

Holding on to chairs, lamps, and the wall, I make it to the master bedroom. There aren't any sprinklers in here but the smoke alarm is going off as well. Jace has stirred on the ground and I'm halted by his determination for a moment before rushing to the bathroom and grabbing two towels.

I soak the towels in water and kneel beside Jace because he's closest. Quickly I place one of the damp towels over his face, covering his mouth and nose before doing the same for myself. His eyes flutter open from my touch or the coldness of the damp cloth, who knows.

"Don't talk," I move my towel so he can hear me. "Just nod or shake your head, okay?"

He nods in understanding.

I try to explain everything in short sentences to conserve time and oxygen. "Owen is in bad condition. I need to get him out of here. Ammonia was released in the kitchen. It's in here too but not as pungent. Todd is unconscious and I'm unstable—" He raises a brow in question and I clarify before continuing. "Sedative. Can you walk?"

He nods and I move back.

I untie Mike and open a window to let some of the lethal gas out. When they wake up they can jump through but I'm not carrying them. Finally, I approach Owen. He's been going in and out of consciousness ever since I got here. I'm worried. 

Slowly I tap his cheek, it feels soft against my skin. After everything I've done, I shouldn't be able to touch him like this anymore. His eyes flutter open as if he was waiting for my touch and I remove the towel from my face and use it to cover his.

"I'm gonna carry you out of here but you need to walk a little bit, okay?" I try to fight back more tears of guilt, anger, and self-loath. He places his hand over mine and try to remove the makeshift mask so he can talk but I shake my head. If I feel like crap now imagine how he must feel. It's a miracle he's still able to react at all.

"Don't talk," I throw his arm around my shoulder and steadily stand with him. "Let's get out of here first."

His legs buckle every now and then but I ignore the pain in my back and struggle to help him stay upright with Jace stumbling right behind us. The cold water from the sprinklers in the living room helps me stay alert as we teeter to the front door. Jace collapses as soon as we make it onto the warm sand but I hold on to Owen and he continues to cling to me.

"Madi, you're wet" He croaks when I drop the towel from his face.

Hearing his voice gives me hope that he'll make it. "You are too."

"No," He corrects me as we continue walking along the sandy path to the parking lot.