¤Chapter 4¤

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¤Chapter Four¤

I sighed for the tenth time today before taking a bite of my pizza. I didn't say another word in English after the little scene that took place. I kept thinking about what my friends said 'give him a chance' 'you're perfect together' 'give Brittney a taste of her own medicine'

What the hell?

"I'm sorry Mads" Angie frowned, tugging on her pleated skirt.

Why do they make cheer clothes so small?

"No, it's my fault," Amy frowned. "I gave him her number"

"And I agreed" Sam intercepted, boldly accepting blame.

I couldn't stay mad at them. 

Damn, I'm still too soft.

"It's fine," I reassured them, not able to hide my expirated sigh of defeat. "Who knows, maybe future me is thanking you."

They all look at me with the same softened expression and quivering lips.

"Hey, I know you're Cheerleaders but don't get too girly on me okay?" I looked away hastily.

Why is lunch so long anyway?

"Us, being girly in front of the Madi Fields?" Angie touched her chest with the tip of her fingers in faux astonishment.

"We wouldn't dare" Sam and Amy concluded jointly, a smile playing on their lips.

We all laugh collectively —okay they laughed while I half-chuckled and half-smiled, it's the best I could muster. I've laughed before in the past, and I've laughed in the present but it never felt the same. I feel like I'm mocking or betraying myself in a way. How can I laugh? Am I really that happy? It all seems fake to me.

"So, how did Chad manage to ask you out?" I nudged Amy playfully as a distraction and conversation began to pick up like normal. Similar to when I'm with my parents —with this group— I'm a dark cloud surrounded by light and fluffy ones. Maybe this is what I need to feel grounded. Without light, darkness is, well, dark.

It was the last ten minutes of lunch when Samantha gasped across from me, her eyes going wide. "O-M-G"

"What—" I began to say, a little worried about how it's possible for her voice to resonate that high.

"Hey Madi" A hesitant male voice said behind me. It was low and smooth. My name sounded like the beginning of a song instead of the four lettered word it actually is.

My spine straightened.

I didn't even know I was slouching.

People normally don't approach our lunch table because they're scared I'll pick a fight with them —and they're right. I'm always apologetic to my friends for that reason. Sure, I'm happy people avoid me because I don't want the extra attention anyway, but their job —as Cheerleaders— is to attract attention. They joke that it's nice since no one will mess with them, but I'll never forget the day Angie cried because Derek Smith admitted the reason he asked Katy Parker to be his science partner instead of her is because her friend with the black hair 'freaks him out.'

I used to be weird, now I'm a freak.

Is it so bad to be different? To want to be different?

"Hi" I stood up and everyone tensed. Somehow as soon as Owen left Brittney's table and walked over to mine, the entire cafeteria decided this was more important than the bell that should be ringing soon.

For some reason, Cafeterias are known for eating and attracting attention from people who should be minding their own business. That's how it is here at least.

Because of my training, I'm able to physically feel the anticipation from my peers. If this was a fight for example, I could use that against them. But it's not a fight and just like dad taught me, being overly aware all the time is draining. He has to be aware because he's a bodyguard —that's his job. I'm overly aware because It's one of the most important lessons I learned. I'm not skilled enough to 'turn it off' when I want but usually when I ignore people, It helps. This is one reason I prefer people avoid me altogether.

Being aware of over fifty people's emotion is good for a fight but bad for a teenage girl standing in a Cafeteria in front of a guy that she doesn't find repulsive. This is lamentable because of overstimulation and the fact that there is possibly one guy out there that I don't hate —or strongly dislike.

If I don't deflect this situation, I'm going to self-destruct.

"What," I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest. "You afraid of me too?"

Defense is the best offense.

"No," His grey-green eyes challengingly locked onto mine. "Intimidated? Yes. Scared? No"

The wall surrounding my heart strengthened.

It does that to give me extra protection when I need it.

And why does my weak little heart need protection right now? I have no clue.

I just, need it.

"D-Did you want something Owen?" Angie asked nervously, her eyes darting from me to him with rapid pace.

"I want to talk to Madi," His multicolored orbs continued to lock me in place. "Privately"

Well, now he's got my attention.

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