¤Chapter Twenty-One¤

My fist slammed into the punching heavy bag, it swung from the force of my anger and came back towards me. I jumped out of the way in time. The pizza I had for dinner would have made a reappearance had I not efficiently dodged that. Each punch was stronger than the last and my feet moved quicker with every dodge. Sweat slid down my face, and back, and chest —everywhere.

I adjusted the fan but at this point, the air in this small space just felt warm. After my internal battle with darkness and light earlier, I closed the blinds in my bedroom and changed into a sports black bra and a pair of matching spandex gym shorts. The shorts hugged my body like a second skin which is comfortable for this kind of activity because it involves a lot of jumping around. 

When I told dad I needed a refresher he later texted me a long list of training regiments to complete. This used to happen when I first started learning his insane techniques. He taught me the basics at a young age but it wasn't until I transformed into Madi that I began to try and hone those skills. I never cared before then.

Mom's hesitancy to allow it made me care even less back then and I kind of felt bad for dad because she always sent him the nastiest glares. She warmed up to the idea last year when she noticed how much it has helped me grow emotionally and mentally. Now, as dad suggested, I'm going over the basics and I might try to spar with him later if he has time. Or if he's even home.

 My parents are rarely home because of their careers but ever since my change I've started seeing them more often during breakfast. Especially when I went through my first —and hopefully last— heartbreak. Dad was still absent most afternoons and at night but mom would hold me and brush my hair until I fell asleep. She would always tell me everything will be okay. I was a sad mess but she was a ball of fire, ready to spit flames at anyone who upset me during that time —even dad. 

I wholeheartedly believe that figurative bastion helped shape who I am today. The hostility made her appear strong and intimidating even though people typically views her as the short five feet something doctor with kind but tired eyes. It was all to protect me from the world that I began to fear and I'm grateful she did that. This is why I don't mind making my own dinner most of the time or coming home to an empty house. If I ever need them, they're always right there so their absence doesn't affect me as much as it should. 

Moving to the other side of the garage, I pulled out a training dummy that stood in a corner. It was the head and torso of a synthetic person attached to a tall silver rod that shifts around when inflicted with enough force. I pat Bob's bald head once in greeting before swinging my left leg around and striking its neck.

 The dummy swung close to touching the ground then sprung back up using more energy than what I initially gave. This time, I jumped into a spin kick using my right leg. Bob was adjustable so dad makes me practice with him at maximum height. All my foes won't be on my level was his reasoning behind it. He's right of course.

I ran through a regimen of punches, kicks, jabs, twists, and turns repeatedly until I felt like my knees were going to buckle beneath me. Panting, I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a glass filling it with cold water. The doorbell rang and I froze. Who could it be? My parents wouldn't ring because they have a key. Jace maybe? No, I don't think he knows where I live. But then again it wouldn't be hard for him to find out since it was him and Todd that moved, not me.

I never thought of it before but why did Jace move? I always thought Todd left because he was tired of me giving him the cold shoulder. He still antagonized me after we broke up, still taunted me but I was numb to his advances. I couldn't feel anything anymore so it was easy to ignore him. I couldn't trust my senses or my emotions so I didn't. 

Ironically, that's all I focus on now —specifically, more sense and less emotion. It was only when he left that I was fully able to start picking up the broken pieces and build a fortress around it. Maybe he knew that would happen. Knew he had to leave town for me to be more like myself again instead of an empty shell. That doesn't explain Jace leaving though, especially if his college is in this town. Did he transfer? Did they have a fight?

The doorbell rang again, more frantic this time. I moved towards the door slowly then paused, my fingers twitching. If Jace is back in town then does that mean...?

The person began banging loudly.

I stood frozen, shocked by my own guess. Why would he even come here? I inhaled sharply. This is not how I wanted our reunion to be. My mind is in a bundle from all the new revelations I uncovered recently and I'm tired from both training and the internal warfare I had within myself a few hours ago. The fight of willpower and strength.

My jaw clenched. It can't be helped, I'll just have to deal with it. Without looking through the door scope, I grasped the knob in my hand, turned the lock, and pulled the door open. My heart drummed in my chest at the sight of him standing on the front porch. I closed my eyes in frustration. 

 Not now.

"Madi" His voice was hesitant and warm.

Warmth derives from light. I've spent a great amount of time and mental stability trying to extinguish that light. That feeling, that hope, that longing, and now it's standing right in front of me completely oblivious to my inner turmoil.

"Owen," I breathe, sounding deflated and hoarse. "Hey."

A line etched between his brows and he shoved his hands in his pockets, not able to meet my eyes or not wanting to. Interesting. "Uh, I ran into Amy and your other friends...they said you needed me so I'm here"

If steam could blow out of my ears like cartoon characters this very moment I'm sure it would. "Where did you see them and why would I need you?"

His cheeks flushed when he took in my attire. "They found me in the locker room before I left campus"

Those damn meddling girls, I thought to myself, I bet it was Amy's idea. But I can't be mad at them. They were so worried when they left if I wasn't so caught up in my own emotions I would feel bad. So what did they do? Send the one guy I can't see right now. The one guy I don't want to see. The person that illuminates my darkness and tries to unwrap a package I've long since secured and gave up on reopening. He calls me Firefly because he sees 'light' in me but I think perhaps he's the light or the very thing that attracts it.

"And?" I studied his demeanor. His hair was disheveled and he sported a blue and white jersey that made his green-gray eyes stand out. His teeth nibbled on his bottom lip anxiously. Lips that I've touched. Lips that I've tasted. Lips that made me gasp for air and disregard it simultaneously. At some point, I began biting my lip as well.

"And what?" His body swayed ever so slightly. Nerves? Or maybe in anticipation?

My eyes narrowed as I tried to clear my unwanted thoughts. "You didn't answer the rest of my question," My words were sharp and accusing. "Why would I need you? What exactly did my friends say?"

He peeked behind me, probably checking for my parents, then took a step closer. Without meaning to because it shows weakness, I took a big step back and he was able to enter the living room by closing that distance. My heart continued to drum violently.

"They're just worried" He shrugged, referring to my friends. That response is not enough. 

My eyes traveled to his, forcing him to meet the ferocity of my gaze. "Why. Do. I. Need. You?" each word was like a jab to the chest, enunciated clearly so the meaning gets through to him. My head tilted to the side and my ponytail swung with the slight movement. His breath hitched audibly and his fingers fidgeted against the outside seam of his pants. If only I could tell what he was thinking or predict his next movements, I wouldn't feel so uneasy right now.

Although his behavior is awkward I'm aware of the gentle aura that surrounds him, the aura that calls to me even when I'm trying to avoid it. Ignoring that, I kept my attention on his face, a sudden shift in his eyes can tell me what direction he's headed and a sudden flash can reveal his emotions. Specifically, it could unveil anger, or amusement, maybe lust. Years of training and a crash course with my dad has thought me as much yet this information is all utterly useless around him. 

Unlike Jace, I can't read Owen and it scares me.

"Madi—" He began then stopped. We stood silently as he struggled with whatever emotions he was fighting against before he finally continued, "If you don't need me then, I need you"

I blinked, not understating what he means. It doesn't make sense. "Explain."

He dragged his hands over his face then sat on a nearby sofa with a hefty sigh. "Madi I think I'm..." His eyes found mine, pleading for something but what? What does he want from me?

"You're frustrating" I fill the silent room with my own confused voice.

Something registered in his expression —I've given up trying to guess. "And what about you? You won't let anyone in, you won't let me—" His voice grew soft as he lost confidence. "I don't understand you. I can't."

"Good," I studied him curiously, feeling a bit proud. Did he just snap at me? "Don't try to."

He stood up suddenly, eyes reminding me of a meadow with storm clouds. His hands clasped my shoulders before I could react and I gasped. Not because he held me but because I let him hold me. Have I not been practicing in the garage for hours? I should have seen this coming. One minute he's standing and the next our faces are so close I'm longing to fill the extra gap myself.

"You're killing me, Firefly." His breath bounced off my lips and all at once my thoughts and sensibility shut down. It was just me and him. His scent was intoxicating, a mixture of sweet and masculine. My head tilted up slightly, taking him in, fascinated. He released me so he could trail a finger along my hairline. "The red parts aren't very visible when your hair is up, it makes you look cute, more vulnerable" His voice was like a lullaby pushing back my troubles and pulling out hope for something better.

I shoved him a bit too forcefully. He stumbled back and I yanked out my hair tie, making my hair cascade over my shoulders. "How about now?"

He placed his thumb and forefinger on his chin, analyzing me from head to toe. "Hmm, still cute but more..." He grappled for the right word. "Fierce —like a puppy that needs to eat."

I glared at him feeling lost and a bit unnerved. "Is that what I am to you a puppy? That's what you see when you look at me, really?"

His features warped into something sincere and he approached me again. "Madi, you're filled with anguish, that's what I see—" His tone didn't show any signs of pity amidst my analysis . "I noticed that on our very first encounter. That's why, although you intimidate me sometimes, I'm drawn to you. We might have more in common than you think, you just have to let me in to see that"

"I don't let people in Owen, forget it." I sneered. "And I'm not some weak damsel that you need to rush in and save either. I can look after myself."

He shook his head frantically. "No, you're right. You're not weak —quite the opposite actually"

"So then?" I urged him to complete what I assumed was an ongoing sentence.

He stared at the floor in silence before facing me again with strong conviction. "Maybe I'm the one who needs saving"

My shoulders tensed. This is the second time he's hinted towards him needing me more than I need him. "What do you mean?"

"Maybe our paths crossed not because I need to save you but because you need to save me?" He reached out and grabbed my hands in his. They were soft and warm, unlike anything I was expecting. Then again, I never expected him to do half the things he did because I can't see it coming anyway.

The heat radiating from him traveled through my entire body making me feel light and dizzy. "Owen," I managed to sound calm although I was the complete opposite. "I'm bad news. Most teachers hate me, I don't exactly fit in, and I carry demons you can never imagine within me"

"So let me carry them with you" His thumb slid over my wrist, leaving the areas it crossed longing for more.

I gazed at him in awe. "You can't do that." My voice was weak, freighted, no longer mine.

"You don't have to do everything alone," He pulled me closer until my cheek made contact with the crook of his neck then held on to me. We're hugging. I can't remember the last time I felt so weightless and comfortable and...free. The past and the future didn't matter. What mattered was happening in the present and presently, I was being enveloped by his scent. A scent so tender it's able to temporarily alleviate all my pain and ease my burdens. I never want to lose this feeling, this reassurance.

 I never want to lose him.

 Owen might be too precious for me to have but he's perfect in every way. I might never be able to leave this town or find happiness but I swear on my irredeemable life that I'll keep him save. I have to. The world needs light and he's the brightest thing this black abyss could ever ask for. 

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