¤Chapter Eighteen¤

"No." I spoke firmly into my phone while laying on my soft mattress and staring up at the dark toned ceiling. My blinds are shut so it's just me and whatever shadows that lurk within the darkness present right now. 

Approximately one hour after Owen left and my parents disappeared somewhere my phone rang. Mr. Soft Lips apparently lost his watch and wants to come back to my house so he can look for it. That sounds like a line but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because why would he purposely want to come back here anyway? People tend to avoid me like the plague —most people at least.

"Come on Madi" He groaned on the other line, sounding exasperated. I can almost picture him throwing his head back and pouting. That scares me because the image annoys me when I shouldn't care at all. The fact that we are talking on the phone now makes it even harder for me to figure him out since there's no facial expression for me to read or green-grey eyes to analyze. Besides, after what happened a few hours ago, there's no way I'm letting him into my personal space like that again.

I don't feel bad about what happened because nothing happened. At this point it might as well have been a dream. He reluctantly agreed to forget it and we'll leave it at that. I don't know what's going on between him and his 'girlfriend' and I'm not interested in making it my business considering who she is. It could be because they don't really act like a couple but our...moment didn't feel wrong at all. Either that or I've turned into bitch over the past year —even more so these past few months. Regardless, I can confidently say my conscience is on an extended vacation right now.

"I didn't see a watch on your wrist" I grumbled to the phone pressed against my ear. My sour mood did nothing to sever the extra brightness in his voice to my dismay. Honestly, I don't remember really looking at his hands much. The old me would have remembered every single detail about him; she might even try to buy him a new pair. However, present me feels confused and ruthlessly provoked. 

"Okay fine," He finally conceded. "But you have to at least answer one of my questions"

"No." My sharp response came almost immediately. I don't play games like that anymore and the captivating lure in his voice reminded me of someone less pleasant.

"Hey!" He yelled playfully in an attempt to appeal to my compassionate side. "That watch was a family heirloom"

That pout appeared in my imagination again. His quiff styled hair was perfect as usual —not a strand out of place. A small wrinkle took shape between his brows and his bottom lip stuck out with a sulk. His eyes looked more green and illuminated. A small part of me slowly began to wish that image was— 

"Okay, one question. One answer." I quickly enunciated each word before my thoughts crossed a bridge I didn't realize I arrived at. There is only one way to get him off my phone and possibly out of my head; answering his stupid question then completely erasing everything from my mind altogether.

His breath hitched before he spoke, "Tell me honestly, did you like my kiss?" The pure curiosity of his question was evident but there was something else within his voice that I couldn't pick up on. This is not a surprise of course —it's just irritating. Did I like it? I barley want to acknowledge it happened! But if I were to think about how I felt in that moment...

My heart clenched.

"I...I'm hanging up" I gasped, the surprise in my voice so obvious even he heard it. It wasn't until I started speaking that I realized I really didn't know what to say. Normally I would deny it and probably swear at him but for some reason, I can't do that. Not now. The words I hated every second of it remained lodged in the back of my throat, fighting against my body's defensive mechanism to push people away when they begin getting too close. 

I sat up in bed opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish. My free hand reached up to touch my neck in astonishment when only a puff of air escaped. My thumb hovered over the end call button. It's been a couple seconds since I said I'd hang up and it seems I can't even do that much.

"Wait!" His voice rushed then when he realized I didn't hang up he continued, "Y-You have been kissed before, right?"

I laughed at his silly question. Did he hope he was my first? "Don't you remember what I said to you at the party?"

"Oh," I didn't have to see his face to know he was blushing. It seems I bring out the shy side of him and he brings out what in me exactly? The inability to communicate and react how I do usually? "Something about you being celibate right?"

"And what does that mean exactly, Owen?" I managed to take control of the conversation as my body calmed down. This time he's the one struggling to find words. 

"That..." His voice trailed off then picked up again. "That you've been with someone else and plan on, uh, not doing that for a while "

I convulsed at his weird tone. "Someone else? As in...?"

He chuckled nervously before trying to remove the spotlight from himself. "I really didn't mean anything by it, um, what was his name?"

Without meaning to I answered honestly, not teasing him for once. "Todd."

"Todd," He echoed. "Sounds familiar, I think he was on my..."

He continued to talk but my thoughts were no longer in the present. My palms grew sweaty, my throat became dry again but this feeling was much different than what I experienced earlier and my vision blurred, steadily losing focus.

Not again.

««

His fingers expertly peeled the shirt off my trembling body in a flash before his lips crashed into mine again with the force of a strong ocean wave, cascading over me with the same strong passion that makes my knees wobble. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he scooped me off the ground and plopped me on the bed without breaking our kiss. My back arched from his hungry touch and a low moan escaped my mouth.

"Todd..." My lips quivered as he nibbled on the side of my neck and began grazing around my jaw. Each gnaw sent a small jolt of pain and a large jolt of pleasure throughout my entire body. The intense combination of both feeling was enough to push me over the edge. He's good at making me feel things I never knew existed. 

Not wanting to wait any longer, I grabbed the corners of his hoodie and pulled it over his head. The sun bounced off his chiseled mid drift creating a majestic look. He's like a dark king with a large tattoo on his chest and a few more on his arm. They're usually hidden beneath the sleeve of his shirt so I only remember he has them during times like these. 

I went with him to get his eyebrow pierced today and although it's a bit red right now, his sexiness just went up another level entirely because of it. His mouth found mine again and I savored the taste of his favorite mint chocolate ice cream we just shared mixed with the taste of him. I giggled against his lips at the thought, Mint Chocolate, Todd, & Me. A perfect combination.

No one compares to him. 

He pulled away and studied my expression with amusement, a small smile playing on his lips. My body squirmed under his dark gaze and he leaned down to touch me again, his firm hands caressing my breast over my bra. My teeth clamped down on my lips to suppress another moan as he continued massaging me, using my heightened sensitivity to his advantage.

"Madison dear, your laundry..." Mom's voice trailed off when she got a look at the two of us in my room. Todd's shirtless body hovered over mine with one hand on my chest. Apart from my bra I only wore a pair of shorts and he had on his black ripped jeans.

Hurriedly, I shoved Todd's heavy body off mine and blushed. I wish I locked the door.

"Hi mom," I hugged a pillow against my warm chest in embarrassment. Todd lounged back casually on my bed with a hand supporting his head. I know he thinks it's pointless hiding when she already saw because that's how he is —completely fearless and carefree. Unfortunately I'm nothing like him; I get awkward in uncomfortable situations like these. "I, uh, thought you were out somewhere with dad?"

She stared at Todd as she spoke, her voice suddenly cold. "Plans changed."

"Oh" I mutter shyly. Why is she looking at him with such hatred? My parents never really approved of him but they claimed it's better I date him in front of them than sneak around behind their backs. They say it's for my safety but I'm pretty sure they're just scared I'll run away with him or something. I love Todd but I'd like to graduate first at least.

 I should have known better than to invite him over on their day off but he's leaving for college in a couple months and I need as much quality time as possible. Next year I'll be completely miserable without him —especially since Brittney is always busy and he's become my only friend apart for a few acquaintances.

Mom finally met my eyes. Her expression was that of worry rather than disappointment or anger. I've been getting this look a lot from my parents lately although dad always storms out whenever I invite Todd over. Specifically, he makes up some excuse about having to do something but it doesn't take Sherlock to realize that if he doesn't leave my boyfriend will quite possibly get killed. "Tell me, is this the first time you two have...?"

I shook my head slowly then stole a peek at Todd from my peripheral vison. It doesn't make sense to lie because the truth is obvious anyway. He sent me a knowing wink and my cheeks grew warm again.

"How's it going Mrs. F?" He held his free hand up in a wave then brought it down to rub small circles on my tummy since only my top half was covered by the plush pillow. I flinched slightly at his informal tone and demeanor. He's always like this around them, way too laidback. In his defense, he's like this with everyone —young, old, it doesn't matter. Todd sees you as his equal or rather, no one is above him. 

Oddly enough that's one of the things that made me fall in love with him. He didn't treat me like I was a loser although I was. He doesn't care about society or our school's social rankings. With him I no longer feel invisible. Brittney and the cheer squad? They're the popular ones. People love them and want to be around them all the time but I'm just their dorky introverted friend that they drag to parties sometimes.

 Not only did Todd acknowledge me when everyone else did not, he made sure I was seen. By smiling at me when I walked in a room, he would turn the heads of everyone. Eventually we began dating and now they all know my name. Suddenly I'm admired, important, special.

"Oh nothing much," Mom crossed her arms, responding to his greeting. "I was just going to lecture my sixteen year old daughter about chores when unexpectedly, I come in here to see you devouring her like a parasite."

He chuckled, tilting his head lazily in her direction in front of the doorway. "Hey, I'm only a year older than her you know and if you ask me, she was 'devouring' me just as much as I her"

My eyes widened but I kept quiet because mom snapped, "Leave before I call her father. You're not supposed to be in her bedroom."

He sighed then turned to give me a peck on the lips. "Rain check baby"

Mom stood unmoving as she watched him painstakingly pull his hoodie over his head then walked past her out the door. She stood there quietly studying me. Her face was too impassive for me to be able to guess her thoughts.

I caved first. "I'm sorry! Please don't tell dad about this"

Her grave expression softened. "Sweetie, I can't promise not to tell him but he won't be angry at you —trust me."

"He won't?" I clutched the pillow tighter, in disbelief. Daddy learning that his little princess has been 'devoured' by a brooding guy with an unorthodox concept of respect and not getting angry? I think not. Sounds way too good to be true.

She sat next to me on the bed. "No. And I'm not mad at you either...I just wish you fell for someone sweeter —someone who makes you smile all the time until your cheeks hurt" The last part was barely audible. Her eyes seemed distant as if thinking about something beyond the present moment. 

Todd makes me smile well enough. He's a serious person but he teases me every now and then. I have nothing to tease him about because he's too perfect. Plus, he might not give me a lot of smiles but he's good at other things —one of which was happening before she came home. Of course, I can't say any of this to her. Just the thought makes me feel weird. 

I played with my fingers. "I really like him mom."

She grabbed my hands in hers. "I know sweetheart but..."

She stopped talking abruptly and I glanced up at her. "But what?"

"He's a bad influence for you, Madison" Her voice was full of anguish. She's lying. Yes, he is a bad influence I agree, but I know my limits and that's not what she wanted to say.

My discomfort at being partially dressed prevented me from pushing the issue further. How do I tell her to get out without telling her to get out? "I didn't mean for you to see that"

"Honey," Her voice grew serious. "How long have you two been active?"

"A couple months" I confessed, toying with the butterfly necklace around my neck. My first time with Todd was unforgettable but it's best to not think about that when my mom is in the room with me.

She stood up instantly and shot me a stern motherly look, forcing me to focus on her completely. "Are you guys being safe? Do you...need anything? Protection maybe? Are you pregnant?"

"Mom!" I threw my arms up forgetting about the pillow for a second then scurried to grab it before it fell too the floor.

"Just checking dear," She smiled half-heartedly with a relieved sigh. "Next time I'll knock."

"S-Sorry again" I mumbled, the guilt not leaving me one bit. I'd much rather her yell and scream than be so quiet and inscrutable. She gave me one final look of worry over her shoulder before leaving. No wonder I didn't hear her get home, I thought as she left, her footsteps are almost silent.

I scoffed. She's acting like he's some kind of monster trying to gobble me up or something. I caught a glimpse of my neck in the mirror. Hickeys. Did mom see them? He always liked giving me those. Whenever I'd point them out he'd flash me a sexy grin then proceed to give me another. I pulled the comforter over my body and threw my head back thinking about the guy I've fallen for.

Todd Anderson.

»»

"Madi? Mads? Hello?" Owen's bewildered voice pulled me back from my gloomy memories. Sweat slid down my temple like condensation on a cold glass. It's freezing inside.

"I'm here." I managed to breathe out, still feeling uneasy.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to come over? Maybe then you can show me what your room looks like and—"

"I said no!" The words came out more abrasive than I intended but I was too busy thinking about my reoccurring memories to care. Why are they coming back? These memories have haunted me for months after Todd and I split. Now these moments that were once precious to me have turned to venom, trying to poison me from the inside out.

My breathing intensified.

I must say, I prefer feeling like I had little oxygen than having too much. A little clouded my judgment and made me kiss the object of my fascination but too much is flooding my body and overpowering my lungs. I gripped the sheets with my free hand and took one final gasp before holding my breath.

"Madi? Madi breathe" Owens gentle voice tried to soothe me on the line.

"I-I don't want to," I whispered. My lungs burned because I refused to let anymore air in. "It's too much." My voice cracked, indicating that I was losing all control.

No. Please, I don't want to go back there again, back to that dark place, back to—

"Madison!" This was the first time Owen's ever raised his voice at me. "I don't know what's gotten into you but you're not gonna let it win, are you? The Madi Fields getting scared over something? Impossible." He spoke with sheer confidence and determination —perhaps too much confidence and determination. He doesn't even know me. He doesn't know what I just experienced again. That hand on my stomach, on my chest. Those eyes, so dark and malicious to me now.

"You're a firefly remember?" His voice was silk, smooth and delicate. It was the level of calm that I aimed for but couldn't achieve right now. "They're adaptable. They glow when their world gets too dark and fall dim when it's bright —using the natural light to it's advantage. That's you Madi, you're adaptable. You're-You're special."

I moved the phone from my ears and stared at it in wonder. Special?

"Owen" I said finally after a beat, my voice even.

"Yes?" He answered.

"I thought I told you not to call me that?"

"Call you what, Madison or Firefly?" He responded, sounding audibly relieved.

"Both," I replied frankly, releasing the sheet from my clutches. "Do you have a death wish or something?"

He chuckled before his honey-like voice emerged through the small speaker again. "Ah, that's my girl. Welcome back."

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A/N: Anyone still rooting for Jace? XD